CURIOUS INDEX, 1/16/09

by Orson on Jan 16, 2009 9:40 AM EST

Other ways to get through the offseason. The magic message board demotivators are always good for choking an hour of the day into submission, especially when the guys from Shaggy Bevo get that MS Paint heated up and workin'.

bcsneverhappened

The rest are here. If you're an Oklahoma fan, just don't look. It's better that way.

Hook 'em, I believe is what you rabble say. Further Longhorn-centric chauvinism as Peter--er....Malcolm Gladwell breaks down the post-2008 Longhorns as only the "Hey everything you know is wrong for exactly the opposite reasons you thought" guy can. Malcolm Gladwell: validating negligent behavior by semi-smart people since 1998.

If this doesn't work out, I guess I can always go back to Harvard. Andrew Hatch will transfer back to Harvard after losing his part-time starting job (along with Jarrett Lee) to Jordan Jefferson. Look for Lil Boosie to replace Lil Wayne as "the next Dirty South rapper we can name and praise effusively" for the Slate crowd once Hatch's roommate finds the CD and begins playing it at Cambridge parties. (You're not elitist if you like bitches and blunts, too!) That and an NPR mention and he's fuckin' finished.

She's professional, but not like that kind of professional. Larry Brown Sports interviews Gator Allie, the girl featured here on Wednesday working the pole in a celebratory dance honoring Florida's BCS Title. She teaches pole dancing at a local studio, and is working on a lap dance class, as well.

Slappy, ho! John L. Smith may get a job from his old assistant, Bobby Petrino. Arkansas about to get 100 percent more slappy than they were prior to his arrival.

Tweet Comment 12 comments | 0 recs |

Do you like this story?

Comments

Just think of the stories Andrew Hatch can tell in Cambridge about “those people” in Louisiana. Questions remain though. Does he now prefer chicory in his coffee? Was he challenged academically? Does the smell of corndogs come out of your clothes in a single washing?

by Crabapple Buck on Jan 16, 2009 9:54 AM EST reply actions

As silly as JLS looked slapping himself, it was actually a pretty good jab at Charlie Weis who lied to officials, trying to claim an MSU player had slapped him.

W/e, though, as long as he stays far away from EL, I don’t care either way.

by Seer on Jan 16, 2009 9:59 AM EST reply actions

Had PerryLoo not believed all of his own hype, Hatch never would have seen a start anyway. His role would have been limited to mop-up duty, or the occasional gimmick play, but never a start, barring an injury. From what I hear, he was a good kid, but he’s not an SEC QB. Maybe he’ll take Jarrett Lee (the gift that keeps on giving…) with him. Jefferson is still green, but I’ll take a 7-8 win season with a youngin’ at QB if it means we can be stable at the position again.

@ #1- Probably not, probably not, absolutely not.

by DrBundy on Jan 16, 2009 10:00 AM EST reply actions

now here you go again, Orson – I been trying to get the image of Miss Poledancer and her twitchy ass out of my head since Wed, and you put her up front and center again…

must . keep . thinking . about . being . crushed . between . thighs

by WarChiziken on Jan 16, 2009 10:08 AM EST reply actions

Now I understand Petrino’s behavior – protege of John L. Smith who was a protege of DENNIS ERICKSON.

U of Idaho, huh? Perhaps Petrino can give Larry Craig a job too. He’ll need one soon.

by yoyofutbawl on Jan 16, 2009 10:14 AM EST reply actions

“As silly as JLS looked slapping himself, it was actually a pretty good jab at Charlie Weis who lied to officials, trying to claim an MSU player had slapped him.”

As an MSU fan, I’m perfectly happy with a ‘all behavior is okay if it comes in the course of mocking Charlies Weiss’ standard. John L. really hated Notre Dame and Weiss, which was almost the only good thing about him as a coach.

Larry Craig getting a ‘job’ from Petrino? Well, whatever you want to do in the privacy of a Little Rock men’s room.

by witless chum on Jan 16, 2009 10:36 AM EST reply actions

Colt McCoy owes it all to those obscure Swedish researchers.

by Geori on Jan 16, 2009 10:44 AM EST reply actions

Dear Longhorn fans,

I’m over it… every team loses games at some point. If you keep looking back, you’ll lose your collective minds and the game of football will hold no joy for you.

Looking back won’t make the off-season shorter. It won’t make you feel better. It won’t change the results of 2008. Let it go and enjoy the off-season before you go completely crackers.

Sincerely,
Cincy

by CincySooner on Jan 16, 2009 10:48 AM EST reply actions

Let’s get the coaching position right, please.

John L. Smith, headcoach-in-waiting. Would it be any other way with Petrino at the helm?

by hobeg8r on Jan 16, 2009 12:32 PM EST reply actions

Hey M Gladwell- you are a noted author (still really not sure why) but this is brutal. Your books will now be categorized right there with my Bill Callahan Nebraska Offensive Playbook, and the Tim Brewster Guide to Retaining Assistants Coaches.

See ya in the spring!

by Bergwood on Jan 16, 2009 1:45 PM EST reply actions

Did anyone else notice in the article about Hatch that LSU’s two QB recruits both graduated early and have enrolled at LSU this spring to be at spring practice? I’m definitely feelin’ some Fulmer Cup points with these two spring chickens! GEAUX!

by Erica on Jan 16, 2009 2:16 PM EST reply actions

Ummm, Cincysooner, the statement “every team loses games at some point” isn’t true. Utah didn’t. You can yak about their schedule all you like, but they didn’t lose two games this year. The Sooners did.

Money quote of the day: “I think it would be impossible to spell ‘Gators’ on a pole.”

by Patrick on Jan 16, 2009 2:16 PM EST reply actions