PETE CARROLL APPROVES OF YOUR DECISION TO DESTROY YOUR LIFE
Pete Carrol was not wearing his Captain Compassion underwear today at the press conference announcing Mark Sanchez’s decision to go pro:
“He’s going against the grain on this one. I told him Durex, but he went with Lifestyles. I said Honda, but he went Subaru. I mean, he’s going to be fine, except that everyone else who’s done this went up in flames except for Mike Vick. Am I saying Mark Sanchez is going to get herpes and start a dogfighting ring? The data’s not there to back up that this won’t happen to him. Because it will. Those dogs are going to hate you, Mark, for both the beast you’ll make them and for the beast you’ll make of yourself. You’ll be fine, if by fine you mean piling everything you know and love into an incinerator called life and letting the fuel of your ego send it all to hell in a smoldering holocaust of failed expectations and broken dreams. Do me a favor and take your first signing bonus and set it on fire, but no before attaching a post-it note to it reading ‘My LIfe, and My Dick.’ At the conclusion of this press conference, I want you all to wave to him, because this may be the last time you see him. When he goes to the NFL, they’ll sic the wolves on him, and when it happens you’ll remember what I said today. I mean literal, rabid, flesh-ripping wolves. Bill Belichick owns forty of them, and each is equipped with a bionic, bulletproof heart and razor-sharp diamond teeth. If you listen in Boston at night you can hear them surrounding Matt Cassel in the cage he sleeps in each night in an unheated warehouse by the docks.”
Oh, and C.J. Spiller’s coming back. Pete thinks that’s just fine.
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DC Trojan says:
Joshua, firstly: fair enough re: Randy Shannon.
I can’t presume to know how Pete Carroll’s mind works, but one of many differences between me and him is that I don’t have anything invested in a system and particular players who are, let’s be honest, serving an NFL apprenticeship that I specifically designed. It’s no wonder Carroll reacted badly, but just smile and say good luck.
For me, I appreciate the effort that SC’s players put in for limited renumeration, and I don’t begrudge them the chance at making a living at it.
As for the other instances you cite of Carroll complaining, eh. I wouldn’t characterize him as a whiny bitch. I would say that if he wants SC to be in the MNC picture as the BCS currently stands, not losing to Oregon State would be a good place to start, and lobbying for a playoff should be a year-round activity to avoid looking like a sore loser.
As for 2005, if you thought that was bad, you’re going to be clawing your eyes out over the beatification of Tebow starting in August. I can hardly wait for “the narrative” to be focused somewhere else. SC doesn’t need any help in building general grudges amongst the college-football watching population.
January 17th, 2009 at 12:34 pm
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Croc says:
Pete now refers to Mark as “Dirty Sanchez”
January 17th, 2009 at 2:29 pm
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oc phil says:
NRBQ@46: That wasn’t quite what I was doing. My point was that there is a huge difference between what will get random interweb commentators panty’s in a bunch and what will affect a real team in the real world. As many in this thread have commented, what was actually said at the press conference was mild.
I’ve been lucky enough to be able to spend some time around Heritage Hall and I’ve seen the humanitarian and his staff at work on the practice field and team meetings. And I’ve gotten to meet past and current players (including Sanchez). I can say with 100% confidence that anybody who is part of the USC football program is not delicate enough to be put off at all by what Pete said at that press conference. Because they’ve seen way more intensity out of him (and his staff) on a daily basis.
And as far as the comments about recruits, the only guys that I think would be really bothered by that amount of “lack of support” from a coach would be primadonna/drama queen types like T.O. or Chad Johnson. And the USC staff places a very high priority on avoiding that type of player in recruiting.
DC @ 47: You are obviously right about Josh, I doubt he will ever be able to get over 2003. His team did get jobbed out of a chance to play the #1 team that year. OTOH they got a split MNC without having to play the #1 team, so they should look at the glass as being half-full IMO.
Not allowing a player to transfer to another conference team is a pretty standard practice (as I recall some conferences make a player sit out an extra year for interconference transfers). I don’t think that’s grounds for making big case against any coach in the NCAA myself.
And the beatification of Tebow starts in August? Didn’t you watch the BCS championship game this year?
January 17th, 2009 at 5:14 pm