CURIOUS INDEX, 1/15/09

by Orson on Jan 15, 2009 9:56 AM EST

Let's not kick Thom Brennaman OK let's kick Thom Brennaman. Well-dissected by the Czabecast.

SAAAAAANCHEEEEEEZ!!! Mark Sanchez appears to be sort of leaning towards having an inclination to preferring to go pro, a market made a bit more lucrative for Sanchez by the staying-put of Sam Bradford. If you saw Bradford's press conference, btw, his hair looked especially poofy, prompting TCOAN to go "Whoa! Cromag!" when she walked by his visage on the tv.

HAAAZELTOOO--notquitethesameeffect. Another departure from USC, but for entirely different reasons, is Vidal Hazelton. Hazelton will move to Cincy, which "is only five hours driving from Georgia"...if you're a pussy not driving a REAL NON-PUSSY'S TRUCK.

Also returning: Ed Awesomename. Ndamukong Suh of Nebraska will return, ensuring that the hardest fucking name in all of college football gets another year of use. According to Nebraska's entry on Suh:

In the Ngema tribe in Cameroon, Ndamukong means "House of Spears."

Until someone comes along with a Lingala name meaning "Tribe of those who Crush Skulls with Their Bare Hands and Make Women Beg For Panting, Ecstatic Mercy," Suh is the title holder.

Les Ford, Danny Miles. DawgSports believes Les Miles is the modern incarnation of the wacky/wily Clemson coach . Miles is a very different man, we believe, if only for the reason of him being completely and totally insane, as opposed to working in half-measures of crazy like Ford.

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Holy Fuck! That is the best (by best, I mean worst) mullet I have ever seen. And I’m from West Virginia. Think about that.

by Noel Devine's Gold Teef on Jan 15, 2009 10:13 AM EST reply actions

They’re not saying “SUUUUUHH.” They’re saying “Please, African Prince of Death-fire, let our people live!”

by Land of Os(borne) on Jan 15, 2009 10:33 AM EST reply actions

Call Coach Miles a retard (full retard or no is entirely up to debate), crazy (it’s in the water down here…serious), or stupid (well…), but just keep the taffy flowing. Lack of taffy makes him angry. You won’t like him when he’s angry.

by DrBundy on Jan 15, 2009 10:41 AM EST reply actions

You know why I read this blog?

Because I love a college football blog that employs a “college football” tag on its college football posts.

by PatronSaint on Jan 15, 2009 10:57 AM EST reply actions

To insure proper tagging without redundancy we employ a college football tag to insure proper tagging without redundancy.

by Orson Swindle on Jan 15, 2009 11:00 AM EST reply actions

Continuing the theme of really, really dumb sportswriters/announcers.

According to David WhItley of the Orlando Sentinel, the Gator Nation doesn’t YET realize how important Percy Harvin is….

So the fact that most of the Gator Nation has been in the fetal position waiting for the inevitable means nothing.

http://www.orlandosentinel.com/sports/orl-colwhitley15011509jan15,0,1194603.column

by hobeg8r on Jan 15, 2009 11:02 AM EST reply actions

Let’s overlook the fact that there may be other schools closer to Georgia. It’s not exactly a ringing endorsement for UC when a transfer says he’s making the move just to get closer to home.

My guess is that Thom’s father, Marty, may have taken care of any physical punishment for us. Marty has been the voice of the Reds forever and is either in, or a lock to get into, the HOF. Though on the Reds’ payroll, Marty will call players and management to the carpet when needed. I’ve got to believe that listening to his son slurp Tebow made him physically ill.

by OhioDawg on Jan 15, 2009 11:06 AM EST reply actions

Of course we shouldn’t forget that OU’s offense is the greatest in history…no…no over-hyping there.

by Dan on Jan 15, 2009 11:07 AM EST reply actions

WTF? How dare they compare God to Les Miles.

by drb on Jan 15, 2009 11:24 AM EST reply actions

Ah, another overpaid U$C playboy, perma-warming an NFL bench at a stadium near you.

by me on Jan 15, 2009 11:27 AM EST reply actions

Why is this so bad from Thom Brennaman? Have you guys not seen his tattoo of Tim Tebow chasing around all other teams while flying on the back of Falcor? It’s nice work, really…

by Terry Tate, Office Linebacker on Jan 15, 2009 11:55 AM EST reply actions

+1 for the Living Daylights reference, Orson.

“Brilliant, Franz! Another thirty million dollar ‘write-off’!”
“Well I guess it’s time to start cutting overhead.”
TTTTTTTTTTT (AUTOMATIC WEAPONS FIRE ENSUES AS WHINY ACCOUNTANT FLAILS LIKE A RAG DOLL)

Harvin going to the league is merely probable. He might be able to improve his draft stock with another year.
Inevitable was Crabtree’s decision, post-Cotton Bowl meeting with Leach. If you’re a top 5 pick, you go.

by Raider Red on Jan 15, 2009 12:31 PM EST reply actions