IT'S MATH, REALLY.

Once again, the words “Gregg Doyle” trigger an intense wave of apathy from me.

Hey Doyle, you gotten Mike Van Gundy fired yet?

Please note the Livestrong bracelet stays the same.

Can you say “fatwah?” Hilarious!

People should not sit next to me in class. Girl next to me just gave me the worst look.

For your blasphemy, a bounty has been just placed upon your head by both Urban and the Ayatollah… rest easy and watch for strange Peugeots outside your house…

Tebow on a strict halal diet might actually work to the Gator’s advantage. Hummus is some healthy shit.

I can just hear him now…." and I call on all Gator faithful to rise up and strike a blow against the blasphemous cur to the north!! and to that end I am issuing a fatwah against the infidel Richt!!!…"

Dude Gregg Doyel totally bit my rhymes….this is weird…I dont like Gregg and dont read his shit. In my head, I went thru the process yesterday of “what would turn the world against Tebow” and I came up with Tebow commiting to Islam, and the Gator Nation embracing it….then Gregg comes up with that? WTF? And for the record, he would be the next “Football Mohammad”…a conspiracy, I tell you!
AP News, Gainsville:
In other breaking news, Tim Tebow announced today that he is converting to Islam.
“Khalil El-Akbar” as he will be known, said in a press conference in Gainesville earlier today(while wearing a Blue and Orange checkered Taqiyah)
“I feel that I have achieved all my goals that the New Testament Christian God wanted me to accomplish, been apart of 2 National Championship Teams, won the Heisman, and I wanted to do something a little bit different for my Senior year. I also feel that since I have been the ultimate Christian, I wanted to try my hand at another religion and see how that works. Islam seems like the religion of choice for boxing greats, and basketball greats, and a few football greats, and I thought, ‘Why not me?’, here on the college level. I am gonna start all my games with a ‘Allah Akbar! Death to the Infidels of the SEC! ‘and go out and try to roast as many stomachs in the end zone as I can, especially the Great Satan Nick Saban.
My goal is to run out of bounds near the King of Hell and behead him before people know he is dead, and impale it on the First Down Marker. Oh yes, this will happen, God willing, Allah Akbar! I am the Warrior of Allah!” Khalil said as he repeated it seven times before members of the A/V club pulled the plug.
Many fans that attended the conference were intially stunned, then once they accepted that Tim Tebow is now know as Khalil El-Akbar, many rushed out to convert to Islam. The President of the University of Florida said that sales of the checkered Orange and Blue Ghutrah with the number 15 sewn on top have skyrocketed, and that plans are now to build a rather large Mosque for Khalil to worship. “Tim,err, I mean Khalil, has done so much for the university, that I feel its the least we can do in his last year at school, and according to Khalil, his last days on earth.”
Paul Finebaum said he “wasnt shocked” and that the player formerly known as “Tebow, could do no wrong in many Florida fans eyes, and that this could be a great opportunity to be the first man to win two Heismans, under two separate names and two separate faiths, and be the first, and last, Islamic Republican, if Khalil decides to live til the end of his senior year after he wins the award, then we will see, many think that if he can get close enough to all of the on-air talent at ESPN,(especially Dana Jacobson) he may very well blow them all up and leave a hole that goes to the depths of Hell, or Lee Corso’s basement.”

January 13th, 2009 at 11:00 am

The Ficus trees are a nice touch….1,000 Deaths to Georgia!

For your blasphemy, a bounty has been just placed upon your head by both Urban and the Ayatollah . . .

The last guy that happened to ended up marrying Nigella Lawson, for the record.

/The Tebowner Verses

Great. Just when the world was getting over the Bear Bryant cartoon riots.

MPP – I noticed that, too. It can only lead to one inevitable conclusion.

Doyel reads EDSBS and copies other people’s work.

http://clempsonfootball.blogspot.com/2009/01/tebow-chats-with-erin-andrews-then.html

Didnt know if you’d seen that stuff yet, havent seen it posted here and usually you do Orson.

I can hear Mick on the radio now…“Urban’s Turbans take the field! OH MY!”"

#12, so he’s moved up from stealing material from message boards?

You know that on September 15, 2001, in some remote cave hideout, Osama bin Laden was saying to his terrorist friends, "you know, this shit is really fun. Let’s do it again next year. I want to retire as the most decorated/wanted terrorist of all time.

you guys are so gettin’ killed for this one. good job.

Why can’t someone issue a jihad on Gregg Doyel. He should sell that extra “g” and use the money to scrub that dirt off his chin. He’s like the crack baby spawn of Eminem and Courtney Love. He is my least favorite sports “journalist” in America, and that’s saying a lot.

People can tolerate Muslims on some level. People can tolerate Mormons.
What most people cant stand is the “fire and brimstone” corner preachers who yell and scream and get “all up in yo face” on a Friday night in crowded downtown areas. Many of which are snake handlers and strychnine drankers, which I wish Tim Tebow was like that, just for fun. Now that would freak people out, doing interviews and answering questions whilst handling rattlesnakes….Corso would be running for the exit….Tim accepting his Heisman while letting a rattlesnake crawl around his neck.

@Mr. Pelican Pants:

Clearly you’ve never visited UF’s campus. As your tour guide, I shall point out Turlington Plaza, where such Fire and Brimstone comedy acts are visible at LEAST once a week.

…

Wait, you what do you mean they’re not comedy acts? That shit’s serious?

You sir are a Blasphemer!!! As far as the UF campus there is nothing but whores, harlots, and James Taylor music.

muslim or not, im pretty sure he is going to get his virgins somehow.

dr b @13 Thank u sir….1,000,000 cocktails