BOSTON COLLEGE HIRES NEW COACH, ADJUSTS CRAZYGIRLBANGS

by Orson on Jan 13, 2009 1:57 PM EST

We got a text message immediately after the Jeff Jagodzinski affair surfaced that read: "If Boston College were a girl, she's have those crazy girl bangs right across the forehead." Just like that girl, the one who dumped Jeff Jagodzinski for so much as flirting with another lady, someone else is stepping into that bear trap foot-first: the nice guy who hung around long enough to finally hook up, BC defensive coordinator Frank Spaziani.

Spaziani, seen here seconds after being shot in the ass with a spear gun by BC AD Gene DiFilippo, who thought he was looking at another woman in the stands.

Spaziani knows the particular bear trap he's stepping into, and will likely not flirt with any other ladies UNLESS HE WANTS TO DIE IN HIS SLEEP AND YOU HAVE TO SLEEP SOMETIME DON'T YOU FRANK?!?! [/brandishes scissors.] Spaziani produces extremely good defenses, is beloved by players, and has been at BC since 1997. At the age of 61, he's not likely to be promiscuous or even flirtatious with other programs, though he should share his password to his email and voicemail because YOU WOULDN'T BE HIDING ANYTHING FROM ME FRANKIE BECAUSE I LOVE YOU AND WOULD KILL MYSELF AND MAYBE YOU AND YOUR DOG IF YOU SO MUCH AS LOOKED AT ANOTHER WOMAN OR FOOTBALL PROGRAM FRANK I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

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The good news is that Addazio is safe for now.

Thank you for taking the crazy woman (BC) out of circulation. Kinda reminds me of that Eastwood classic – Play Misty for Me.

by hobeg8r on Jan 13, 2009 2:07 PM EST reply actions

So, apparently you’ve met my sister-in-law…

by the ex-croominator on Jan 13, 2009 2:07 PM EST reply actions

It’s so nice to see Tom Selleck getting some work.

by NewAZTiger on Jan 13, 2009 2:44 PM EST reply actions

Grossly underpays both revenue sport coaches, relative to coaches at other conference schools?

Check

3rd-6th most important sports story in the area, depending on the season?

Check

Almost non-existent local recruiting territory, (BC is not in Ohio, TOB, nor is State)?

Check

Allegedly considered a safety school for those who could not get into Notre Dame?

Check

No, Gene DiFlillipio (sp?) you are right. Who would not want to coach Boston College?

by Coop on Jan 13, 2009 2:44 PM EST reply actions

and thus Orson has another mustache Wednesday slot filled… and a fine candidate he will be too… as long as BC doesn’t think it might lead to anything

by WarChiziken on Jan 13, 2009 2:54 PM EST reply actions

And LSUFreek posts a work-up of DeFilippo boiling a bunny in five . . . four . . . three . . . .

by DevilGrad on Jan 13, 2009 3:01 PM EST reply actions

I am so proud to have provided the kernel of inspiration for this post, but could not have dreamed of the places the good Mr. Swindle would take it to. And an LSUFreek Fatal Attraction/BC AD mashup would be a thing of beauty.

The point Coop makes about BC’s position in their local media market is well taken. An external candidate — say a coordinator at a Big 10 or SEC school, would be disconcerted to visit, and see that his visit was crowded off the front page by offseason baseball free agent/injury news. I used to live within biking distance of the BC campus, and on a given Saturday in the fall, you could not tell if BC was at home or away without looking at the schedule. BC was probably smart to stick with an internal hire.

by Fesser on Jan 13, 2009 3:14 PM EST reply actions

I’d say that’s a pretty smart move by Spaziani to accept the job…

the only other option was to live in constant fear of the Boston College AD running up behind him and perforating his skull with a tack hammer whenever he goes out to Applebees with his wife.

by CincySooner on Jan 13, 2009 3:46 PM EST reply actions

#6
DevilGrad……great minds think alike….but jealousy on this scale, I am think a St. Bernard may be in order..
Hey is the AD Italian? was the former Coach Polish? Is this an Ethnic thing? is the new coach Italian? We dont have that many vowels in our last name, here in the south…….
Cause most of the Italian chicks I know, their blood runs a lil hot, just lookin for a fight so they can make up…….

by Mr. Pelican Pants on Jan 13, 2009 3:49 PM EST reply actions

The more I think about this, I am getting a Sopranos vibe….basically told him, pick where your loyalty lies, choose wisely and ya wont get whacked……well, looks like the Polish guy got whacked…….(cue" Dont Stop Believing"…..street liiiigghhhtsss WHOOOOOOOOOO—-O-OOOOOAAAAAAAAAAA!!!)

by Mr. Pelican Pants on Jan 13, 2009 3:53 PM EST reply actions

Is that a piece of the AgroCrag?

by Shavodrick Beaver on Jan 13, 2009 4:06 PM EST reply actions

If BC is the crazy stalker girl, then what does that make Notre Dame? Her neutered puppy?

by oc phil on Jan 13, 2009 6:58 PM EST reply actions

When did Spaziani win Global Guts??

by SmoothJimmyApollo on Jan 13, 2009 9:17 PM EST reply actions

Gee, all Jags did was to lie to his employer & then interview for the Jets gig because he doesn’t enjoy recruiting. Why all the calumny against Coach Ipana?? A pox on him & shame on Genial for not doing due diligence 2 yrs ago. Ever to excel…

by gspBison on Jan 14, 2009 10:13 AM EST reply actions