I'LL BE THERE, MA

by Orson on Jan 9, 2009 11:08 AM EST

Tom Joad: I been thinking about us, too, about our people living like pigs and good rich land layin' fallow. Or maybe one guy with a million acres and a hundred thousand Sooners starvin'. And I been wonderin' if all our folks got together and yelled...

Ma Joad: Oh, Tommy, they'd drag you out and cut you down just like they done to Stoopsy. You seen the Fiesta Bowl in 2007. And the Orange Bowl in 2005.

Tom Joad: They'd drag me anyways. Stoops, too. Sooner or later they'd get me for one thing if not for another. Until then...

Ma Joad: Tommy, you're not aimin' to kill nobody.

Tom Joad: No, just Thom Brennaman. And Mack Brown, maybe. But naw, Ma, not that. That ain't it. It's just, well as long as I'm BCS leper anyways... maybe I can do somethin'... maybe I can just find out somethin', just scrounge around and maybe find out what it is that's wrong and see if they ain't somethin' that can be done about it. I ain't thought it out all clear, Ma. I can't. I don't know enough, just like Brett Venables.

Ma Joad: How am I gonna know about ya, Tommy? Why they could kill ya and I'd never know, especially since they can't get a 4th down straight, much less the facts of a murder. They could hurt ya. You seen what they did to Sam out there! And Jason White? How am I gonna know?

Tom Joad: Well, maybe it's like Casy says. A fellow ain't got a soul of his own, just little piece of a big soul, the one big soul that belongs to everybody, and is then parceled out and sold for billions of dollars to a shadowy cartel of college athletic programs...

Ma Joad: Then what, Tom?

Tom Joad: Then it don't matter, because only 12 or so teams matter anyway, ma. They just take turns, that's all. I'll be all around in the dark - I'll be everywhere. Wherever you can look - wherever there's a small-time BCS buster we're underestimating...I'll be there. Wherever there's an opposing defense we're underestimating yet again...I'll be there. I'll be in the way guys yell when they're mad at television when we come up short on fourth down. I'll be in the way kids laugh when they're hungry for something other than Bob Stoops sad doughy face, and when the people are eatin' the stuff they raise and livin' in the houses they build from Phil Loadholt's shedded skin cells, which are fuckin' huge Ma-- I'll be there, too.

Ma Joad: I don't understand it, Tom.

Tom Joad: Me, neither, Ma, but - just somethin' I been thinkin' about. In between drinking myself into a coma and reminding myself that Bob Stoops is a really good coach who just happens to have shit luck in bowl games.

Ma Joad: Bless you, Tom.

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Say, answer me this one, will you? Why is a MNC worth so much? A 119 teams, say, go searchin’ for gold. After six months, one of them’s lucky: one out of 119. His find represents not only his own labor, but that of one hundred nineteen others to boot. That’s six months and fifty-nine years, scramblin’ over the BCS, goin’ hungry and thirsty. A MNC, mister, is worth what it is because of the human labor that went into the findin’ and the gettin’ of it.

by kleph on Jan 9, 2009 11:13 AM EST reply actions

I’ll be there in every chubby band member’s tears….

by WarChiziken on Jan 9, 2009 11:13 AM EST reply actions

A Great day gets even greater…….Bobby Bowden to return for another season, contract being finalized (extended). Jimbo Fuming…..Gators Dominance of Noles continues….

by Roaminggator on Jan 9, 2009 11:17 AM EST reply actions

I know what the BCS does to men’s souls.

by sonofsamford on Jan 9, 2009 11:21 AM EST reply actions

Allright, that’s it. I get it. I’ll finally read The Grapes of Wrath. Sheesh, it’s hard to find time with all the free porn on the inter.

by Mark D on Jan 9, 2009 11:22 AM EST reply actions

And to think, I always thought the Rage Against the Machine song was called “The Ghost of Tom Jones”…..

“as sands thru the hourglass, all we are is dust in the wind, dude”
Now if I can only convince Erin Andrews I am dying from starvation, maybe she will pull a Rose of Sharon for me, ifyaknowwhatImsayin……..

by Mr.Pelican Pants on Jan 9, 2009 11:25 AM EST reply actions

Bobby Bowden was that evil capitalist workcamp owner.

by Techie on Jan 9, 2009 11:41 AM EST reply actions

Wow, it took 6 comments before somebody went there.

How come Stoops is a “good coach who is unlucky” but Tressel gets such a bad rap for better bowl results?

by oc phil on Jan 9, 2009 11:46 AM EST reply actions

#8
Cause everyone HATES the Communist in the Big 10, and favor the Big 12 and SEC Capitalistic Conference Championship Game….even though you may be the best in the conference, you have to actually prove it, sometimes 2 times in a season, where in the Big 10, either Michigan, tOSU, or Penn State has to beat their competition only once in a season. Lately it has been tOSU vs Michigan, now Penn State, and looks to still be tOSU next year, even with losing some Seniors.
Stoops vs Tressel would be an interesting game, on some level. I would have to look at how they prepare their teams for bowl games, Alabama included, and not do that again, do something totally different, like no time off for anybody…..

by Mr.Pelican Pants on Jan 9, 2009 11:58 AM EST reply actions

For Oklahoma fans:

This you may say of manwhen theories change and crash, when schools, philosophies, when narrow dark alleys of thought, national, religious, economic, grow and disintegrate, man reaches, stumbles forward, painfully, mistakenly sometimes. Having stepped forward, he may slip back, but only half a step, never the full step back. This you may say and know it and know it.

by gosouthgohard on Jan 9, 2009 11:59 AM EST reply actions

OC Phil,
Yep, I went “there”. Hell, I live “there”…….and I try to get “there” by any means necessary…..

by Mr.Pelican Pants on Jan 9, 2009 12:05 PM EST reply actions

Crazy OTG should do a piece on Fox Bowl coverage.

Thank Him that ESPN is getting it again.

by DrB on Jan 9, 2009 12:40 PM EST reply actions

You do know that Stoops is from Ohio. Maybe something in the water leads to BCS failure?

(Yes, Meyer is from Ohio too. I am ignoring that fact for argument sake)

by theunknownbucksfan on Jan 9, 2009 12:56 PM EST reply actions

Utah and USC should play for the MNC.

by WarCardinals on Jan 9, 2009 12:58 PM EST reply actions

Sometimes you guys just nail it.

by Baron on Jan 9, 2009 1:00 PM EST reply actions

Couldn’t have said it better…

Not a fan of either team, but I will admit I found myself doing the Gator chomp at the bar last night.

by dudis41 on Jan 9, 2009 1:16 PM EST reply actions

Well, with Bradford going pro, it don’t look like these okies is goin’ to the promised land in California next year either…

by sb on Jan 9, 2009 1:41 PM EST reply actions

Don’t worry Tom, Johnny Appleseed will come with you all the way from Ohio, because like you he has been drunk on cider and reminding himself that Jimmy Tressell is a great coach who has had a shitty big stage record since 2002.

by Tricky Dick on Jan 9, 2009 1:51 PM EST reply actions

Why is it I keep thinking that Ma Joad is a photoshop of Charlie Weis?

by The Fake Gimel Martinez on Jan 9, 2009 2:02 PM EST reply actions

Posts like this are the reason I love this site so much!

by GatorWill on Jan 9, 2009 2:06 PM EST reply actions

I think, based on who ya beat theory, Ole Miss should be granted a share of the MNC.

Lets see, play along with me here, its kinda a reach…
Florida beat Oklahoma, who beat Texas Tech.
Texas Tech beat Texas, who beat Oklahoma.
Ole Miss beat Texas Tech, and beat Florida.
By default, Ole Miss beat the MNC and this completes the Mexican standoff, thus eliminating Texas’ share of the MNC. SEC 2, Big 12 0…….Ole Miss gets 1/4, Florida gets 3/4, and Utah has more Samoan players than Mormon, so they are disqualified…..Alabama practiced mainly for the Mormons, no one said anything about the Samoan ringers that were kicked off of the island that USC forgot.

by Mr.Pelican Pants on Jan 9, 2009 2:12 PM EST reply actions

Mr. Pelican Pants: 100 cocktails to you, sir, for the Rose of Sharon reference. I laughed very loud in a crowded room.

by Innocent Bystander on Jan 9, 2009 2:14 PM EST reply actions

Good call on Thom Brenneman. Oklahoma fans have got to be ready to kill him.

They were making fun of the apotheosis of Tebow on Morning Joe today.

But enough of my complaining – Thanks for another great year Swindle, and congrats to the Gators.

by OhioDawg on Jan 9, 2009 2:14 PM EST reply actions

So are you saying that Stoops is 0 – 2 in the Dust Bowl as well?

by Wozzo the Wonder Dog on Jan 9, 2009 2:17 PM EST reply actions

‘thats not penny candy. Thats nickel a piece candy’.

by tzubear on Jan 9, 2009 2:25 PM EST reply actions

mr. pelican Pants-

those somoans are LDS. the BYU doesn not recruit, it converts.

by tzubear on Jan 9, 2009 2:27 PM EST reply actions

Whenever there’s a loud alum derailing the Heisman ceremony
Look in his eyes, Ma
you’ll see me.

by jakldawg on Jan 9, 2009 2:49 PM EST reply actions

@ 9 – Sorry, but a conference championship game is a money-grab, pure and simple. Rigorous scheduling has nothing to do with it, at least not intentionally.

One thing I do despise about the Big Ten schedule is its stupid protected rivalries aspect. Assuming an eight-game schedule and 10 possible opponents, you should play every other team four times at home and four times on the road over the course of a decade. Over the long run, thats logical and fair. Instead, for example, Northwestern has to play natural rival Purdue every year yet drops Wisconsin (a closer neighbor). Similarly, Michigan State is forced into an annual trophy game with natural rival Penn State. Worse yet, George Perles created the worlds ugliest trophy for it (apparently in his garage, while drunk; see http://www.blackshoediaries.com/images/admin/land_grant_trophy_450.jpg). And its all to justify the precious Michigan Ohio State rivalry which, truth be told, wasnt that big a deal until the 1970s.

by Zuppke Kinnick & Graham LLP on Jan 9, 2009 4:59 PM EST reply actions