CURIOUS INDEX, 1/9/08
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Freek gets a fraction of this title. Just for being awesome and having this pre-loaded for a morning when our brain consists of eight randomly firing neurons and a boxing kangaroo hammering away at the controls:
Sunk. Nobody else had held Oklahoma to fewer than 21 points in a half. Florida held them to 14 for the game, picked Bradford twice, and held on two low percentage goal line percentages. Oh look, it’s our good friend Gregg Doyel, just chillin on the metaphorical couch. What say you, Gregg Doyel? This game will be sensational, that’s all I know. But the arrogant assumption that Florida’s defense will be the difference makes me giggle. Because the truth is, the difference really could be Florida’s defense. After it gets its ass kicked by the best offense in college football history. Prescient stuff, especially after you look at this video of Major Wright TOTALLY GETTING OWNED BY MANUEL JOHNSON. DOOD. See the way Johnson went throat-first into the top of Major’s helmet? That’s considered a great insult by some Armenians….and by Johnson’s larynx. Remember: helmet to helmet doesn’t count when it is awesome, or when Ron Cherry is calling the game, because Ron Cherry can get raped by a blimp after calling the bag of ass he called last night. LOOK AT ME I AM CALLING ANOTHER FOUL BECAUSE PRINCESS WANTS ATTENTION. Die, Ron Cherry. [/bigdaddydrew'd!] Ahmad Blackened is the end. This was the exact same route Oklahoma ran for a TD against Texas Tech. It works a lot better when the safety doesn’t drop in like the Phantom, steal your precious diamonds, and leave a white glove behind to mark his territory. SERENITY NOW! A nice bath. Yes, some nice bath salts. I’ll put on some Anita Baker and just let the night wash away. Sweeeeet Loooooooooooooove…
(HT: Dave.) When your defensive coordinator is caught on camera screaming “We’re FUCKED!” after a touchdown, you need more than bubbles and quiet storm to wash that away. We’re thinking industrial solvents and eight Xanax consumed with a tumbler of Johnnie Walker Blue label would help. |
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1
HeadThief says:
Congrats to the Gators. Great game.
The Major Wright hit was amazing. And pass interference. i’m sure we would have held someone on the ensuing play anyway, so it wouldn’t have mattered.
January 9th, 2009 at 10:19 am
2
DevilGrad says:
Congrats to the Gators, and good luck with the hangover, sir.
And, now, on to the Fulmer Cup season.
January 9th, 2009 at 10:21 am
3
WhoooTex says:
“Nobody else had held Oklahoma to fewer than 21 points in a half. ”
Second half of Texas-OU game is on line one. It sounds angry.
January 9th, 2009 at 10:23 am
4
BurritoBrosShits says:
Albert says Sooner tastes like chicken. Go Gators!!!
January 9th, 2009 at 10:24 am
5
Orson Swindle says:
Apologies. Should read first half.
January 9th, 2009 at 10:24 am
6
WhoooTex says:
No problemo, maybe I have less of a hangover than you do. Certainly wasn’t implying our defense played anywhere near as well as Florida’s all game long– but we did make some adjustments (it was weird seeing that after two years of Chizik) in that game.
Congrats on the win.
January 9th, 2009 at 10:27 am
7
Roaminggator says:
Big 12 South barely went 1-3 in the postseason. Oh, and Go Gators….
January 9th, 2009 at 10:28 am
8
Hossnfeffer says:
Great win, but let’s face facts:
Its Bowl Season, Oklahoma is in a BCS Bowl, Stoops lost another…
It really has become as predictable as the full moon.
January 9th, 2009 at 10:28 am
9
etsuVol says:
Congrats to the Gators, but that was a chickenshit hit and why it wasn’t flagged we’ll never know. He totally gave him da business!
January 9th, 2009 at 10:29 am
10
ALGator says:
Fantastic then! LSU is no longer the only team “with a pair of balls”!! Eh! Get it! Get it!?!
But the more important thing is that the only two teams WITH a pair of balls are from the ESSSSS EEEEEE SEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!
January 9th, 2009 at 10:30 am
11
elno lewis says:
Congrats to the Gators. Great game.
Just how much of a better person will I be if I spend like, an entire day with Tebow?
I need something to tell the judge.
January 9th, 2009 at 10:34 am
12
elno lewis says:
oh yeah, and LSU Freak, please post up the other one you had ready…the one for if the gators lost. I am certain it is just as good.
January 9th, 2009 at 10:35 am
13
BDoc says:
Bradford’s face after that INT was great. He just sort of looked to the sideline like “whaaa…how did THAT happen?”
January 9th, 2009 at 10:37 am
14
Mr.Pelican Pants says:
I like the MMA ankle twist there at the end..Bas Jones would have instructed Harvin to shoot the defender in the knee, to get even…then twist the arm…..nice, classy touch by a trash talkin sore loser…..but at least Harvin was healthy enough to run away if needed after smackin Urban on the ass…somebody with some tech skills find it and YouTube it please…….and actually Harvin should be on the back of Urbans speed boat, being the motor with his legs….
Can the SEC do it 4 times in a row? Or Florida Back to Back? Is Ole Miss in the picture for the SEC next year? Should the rest of the SEC East bother to even show up against the Gators? mmmmmmmmmmm……(strokes imaginary goatee, with a look of intrigue)
January 9th, 2009 at 10:37 am
15
TJ says:
Assorted “thoughts”
Had a very similar feel to the Bama game: “we’re fucked we’re fucked we’re fucked we won?”
Harvin was the MVP. He was the best player on the field AND looked well under 100%.
The drive in the third down where Tebow started running it might be my favorite moment in his career. HE (and/or the offensive coaches) clearly realized that his arm was off and adjusted according, going vintage 07 smashmouth Tebow to win the game.
I thought OU should have run more playactions with Chris Brown. He was freaking terrifying for a stretch. Their o-line was also terrifying. Getting as much pressure on Bradford as we got felt like a miracle.
The announcers fucking up down and distance on OU’s first red zone failure made me very happy this thing is jumping to a network that actually runs a competent football broadcast.
JUMP PASS JUMP PASS JUMP PASS.
January 9th, 2009 at 10:39 am
16
hobeg8r says:
Hey, Ron Cherry.
When Looooooooouis Murphy (picture voice of Mick Hubert) made that catch – and signalled that he had a first down (something he has done ALL YEAR without a penalty flag) – he was just trying to help you out since you are an obvious idiot.
January 9th, 2009 at 10:41 am
17
devin lansing says:
Can someone, anyone, please obtain and post Fox video of Percy Harvin slapping Coach Meyer (hard) on the ass and Urban swinging around violently in surprise? That was pure comedy gold.
No luck on youtube or google video searches thus far. Should have utilized the DVR.
January 9th, 2009 at 10:43 am
18
Andrew B says:
Welcome to the hell of ACC officiating. Whomever picked this officiating crew for a meaningful game, no, a CHAMPIONSHIP GAME, was on really, really powerful drugs.
January 9th, 2009 at 10:43 am
19
haveagreatday says:
Tim,
Congrats on the win. Your will to win alone has cemented you position as one of the greatest college athletes of all time. You will make an excellent NFL quarterback. You should go there. Go there now. I will help you pack.
ps. Is Bono a Max 4 guy?
January 9th, 2009 at 10:44 am
20
Mr.Pelican Pants says:
If we had playoffs, would there be a losers bracket so those with more than 3 BCS losses could play? Like a tOSU vs Oklahoma game? Kinda like a BCS Hall of Shame Game? Who would win that game? is it possible for both of them to play to a 3-3 tie? so neither wins nor loses?
January 9th, 2009 at 10:44 am
21
jb says:
The hit: a few tenths of a second earlier, and yeah, pass interference, but the receivers hands touched that ball right before he got drilled.
January 9th, 2009 at 10:48 am
22
The Snake will Drive Again! says:
Congrats Gators. Now can Urban just get it over with and go to ND already?
Welcome to a real defense OKla. Hell, even Bama and Jessica Parker Wilson scored more points on UF than you did. IF given the chance, looks like Utah would smoke the Sooners.
January 9th, 2009 at 10:58 am
23
Bucks9 says:
tOSU is 4-3 in BCS bowl games. Not stellar but at winning record at least and certainly far better than Oklahoma.
January 9th, 2009 at 11:00 am
24
Mr. Egger says:
Prediction, Oklahoma and Ohio St play next year in the Fiesta. They can’t both lose can they?
January 9th, 2009 at 11:00 am
25
nolefan says:
If my early estimates are correct, only ~230 days until college football starts…
January 9th, 2009 at 11:02 am
26
Doug says:
Dammit, Mr. Egger got to it before I could. In a tOSU-OU Fiesta Bowl, I predict four scoreless quarters followed by eight OT periods of FAIL before either the refs or the Frito-Lay corporation finally call the game on account of sheer burning shame.
January 9th, 2009 at 11:03 am
27
WarChiziken says:
can we go ahead and change the off-season competition to the “Collins Cup” to honor the only coach to ever get his program on the death penalty?
January 9th, 2009 at 11:09 am
28
meatybob says:
@21
Um no. Look at the replay again, that was pass interference for he was there b4 the ball. But very close, and I would want the refs to probably let that go in a game vs. being chippy.
Not the holding call later on that drive (or maybe the next), complete bs.
January 9th, 2009 at 11:30 am
29
Jim says:
Gregg Doyel clearly proves everything sucked about that game except his presence there and his ability to so eloquently narrate the suckiness using his aura. Kudos to you Gregg, our nation’s greatest asset. I shall take on multiple wives to bear numerous children so I may grace the with thine name.
January 9th, 2009 at 11:30 am
30
jb says:
@ 28. You seem to be in the majority. I have only seen the play on the grainy laptop, so my interpretation is prolly wrong. …
January 9th, 2009 at 11:49 am
31
Techie says:
Welcome to the hell that is ACC officiating.
Hope y’all enjoyed your stay.
I haven’t read a single thing Greg Doyle has written or said since he basically declared in a column that it would be his personal mission to get Mike Van Gundy fired since he had the AUDACITY to call out a reporter, one of the sacred all-high Fourth Estate. He’s the caricature of the over-important journalist hack.
January 9th, 2009 at 11:56 am
32
Brian O'Blivion says:
Doyel = EPIC FAIL
Ron Cherry should never call another championship game again. That unsportsmanlike penalty on Murphy was completely bogus. There was alot of uncalled holding last night too, but on both sides, so at least that was fair.
That said, GO Win Another National Title!
January 9th, 2009 at 11:56 am
33
TJ says:
Darkhorse nominee for play of the game. The snap about 2 feet wide of Tebow that he pulled in with one hand. I’m pretty sure my heart stopped for a few seconds.
January 9th, 2009 at 12:15 pm
34
reb pup says:
My 5 yr old son said woooo! in response to that hit (as did I) The boy is learning early to appreciate the finer points of the game.
Makes a pappa proud.
Oh, by the way, Doyle is a world class hack.
January 9th, 2009 at 12:16 pm
35
Rob Pollard says:
That was a big hit, but it was clearly illegal under the rules. It was helmet to the guys’s head and he clearly lined him up. Since they started calling that more in the last ~5 years (as concerns about concussions rightly became even more widespread and people b/c aware, “Hey just shake it off and get back in there — no big deal” was stupid), it seems unless you hit a QB, it’s rarely called. And in the case of QBs, it’s probably called TOO much
On the one hand, there is a part of you that goes “Wooo!”, but after seeing too many people injured/maimed on similar plays, they should either consistently call that sh*t or don’t and just let everyone try to paralyze/give brain damage to each other.
January 9th, 2009 at 12:25 pm
36
Mich-Placed Gator says:
From the coin flip, which Cherry ALMOST fucked up (watch), the officiating was HORRENDOUS!!
My girlfriend had no idea what “holding” was…..she does now….and wondered why Murphy got a 15 yd penalty for giving the first down sign when the Oklahoma player that did it earlier did not.
She now understands why I said “FUCK!!” when I saw who “officiating” this game.
FOX & ACC Officials….FAIL!
January 9th, 2009 at 12:35 pm
37
Techie says:
(taking the risk of sounding off-key)
But, Ron Cherry was apparently the FIRST black head referee for a BCS Championship game. They mentioned it at least twice. Be careful, our criticisms may blind us to this earth-shatteringly historic accomplishment. It is truly Morning in America….
January 9th, 2009 at 12:42 pm
38
JacketDan says:
Now everybody in the SEC and Big 12 understand why I just bring a bullhorn and a tape recorder that says FUCK YOU RON CHERRY on infinite loop to any game he officiates. Otherwise I’d have no voice by the end of the 1st quarter.
January 9th, 2009 at 12:44 pm
39
paco says:
Instead of “Bill Stewart Face”, BSF now stands for “Bowl Sooner Face”
January 9th, 2009 at 12:55 pm
40
Ted says:
#35 FOX & ACC Officials….FAIL!
Actually Fox and ACC officials are perfect for the whole BCS system, which is FAIL.
Nothing like watching 4 sloppy games (nobody watched the Orange Bowl) after a 40 day hiatus.
January 9th, 2009 at 1:23 pm
41
PushJerk says:
Doyel just wants us all to know he’s not a homer for Florida. He’s not the first former UF “journalist” to shit on the team in order to claim impartiality (ridiculous though that may be). Orson has linked to several columns this season by other Florida (and _Alligator_) alums at marginal Florida newspapers, trashing Florida (or Tebow) just to score some “journalist” cred. Ironically Doyel presumes that his bad-mouthing of Florida and the SEC will carry EXTRA weight because he is a UF alum.
January 9th, 2009 at 1:39 pm
42
sb says:
Doyell = posterior fornicator
January 9th, 2009 at 2:03 pm
43
Hokie Andrew says:
A well deserved congratulations to the Gators for a job well done and a special thanks to Urban Meyer for helping preserve one of my favorite end-of-season traditions – watching Big Game Bob get out coached is always a joy. Excelsior!
January 9th, 2009 at 2:13 pm
44
Distant_Gator says:
Sorry, that was not PI.
Both the ball and Major Wright arrive at the 28 second mark of that video.
Cherry and crew could be the worst officials in BCSCG history. OU held all night and was called once.
And what was up with the penalty on Murphy for a 1st down call? Cherry was just driving to give the Gators the business.
January 9th, 2009 at 3:00 pm
45
Gatorfrog says:
The coin flip near-snafu was priceless, and really set the tone for the officiating. I also like that “tails” was the side of the coin with two HEAD coverings, but even I will admit that’s nitpicking.
On another issue, I had always assumed that a dead-ball penalty after a first-down should result in the yards plus it being 1st and 25, rather than merely first and 10 but 15 yards back. Was this a mistake by the crew, are the rules different between NFL and NCAA, or am I just smoking crack?
January 9th, 2009 at 4:04 pm
46
Keegan says:
“When your defensive coordinator is caught on camera screaming “We’re FUCKED!” after a touchdown, you need more than bubbles and quiet storm to wash that away.”
Please tell me there is a YouTube or GIF.
January 9th, 2009 at 4:08 pm
47
trina foster says:
What was up with Trautwein? Never seen him jump off-sides so many times. WTF?
trinagator
January 9th, 2009 at 4:28 pm
48
Brian O'Blivion says:
#45 That’s the rule in college, and the announcers (one of them) screwed that up too. I’m not sure it’s different in the NFL either. It’s a weird rule. If you get the first down, it’s 1st and 10, fifteen yards back. But if you don’t, it’s say third down and whatever you had to go + 15 more.
If it’s first and 10 (15 yds back) after the penalty if you get the 1st, why wouldn’t it be 3rd and 6 just 15 yards back?
January 9th, 2009 at 5:21 pm
49
Oranse Taylor says:
There is a scene in Inconvenient Bad Call when Ron “When you’re Smilin’…” Cherry is connected to the Vatican money was basically put into the the ACC to stop the Canes from high-fiving each other or even making eye contact with the other team. Hes flagging Hurricane players for things former players did decades before. Hes making Cotton bowl make up calls in 2008. And calling personal fouls on current players for how bad Clinton Portis’ costumes are, all while appearing to be a rusty Louis Armstrong impersonator doling out retribution with a southern colonial severity intended to get the Canes for all those past humiliations handed out to the more established institutions of sport. Meaning Notre Dame. Its DaVinci code stuff. It goes all the way back to Cane and Abel.
January 9th, 2009 at 11:11 pm
50
Matt says:
The look on Bradford’s mug says, “I just woke from a horrifying dream that ended with that safety screaming the word ‘weight room” at me…and then I realized that this is my life, and I, like most everyone else this side of the Greenwich Meridian, am merely bait, of the gator fashion.”
January 10th, 2009 at 1:40 am