MACK BROWN, GREAT AMERICAN
Mack Brown’s got balls. The affair is never small. Playing Ohio State–the Big Ten’s last hope for a moment of redemption in a shitheap of a bowl season for them–and having to pull out a last second Colt McCoy touchdown drive out of their well-polished asses for the win over a nine point underdog is dodgy enough.
But immediately taking the mic after the game and using the moment immediately following your late gasp off the mat against a team incinerated by USC to say “We’re number one, and we can beat anyone in the country?” Balls, sir, and a sure sign that Mack Brown may be the next governor of Texas if he so chooses. The governorship of Texas awaits someone so capable of bullshitting so effortlessly and spontaneously after surviving near-disaster.
From one bullshitteer to another, sir: well played. It’ll look better in retrospect, when the memories of how close the Buckeyes came to snagging this game from the dumpster fade…but in the moment? PhD level, TOP SCORE bullshittery. We almost applauded its grandeur.
(Also, we’re glad to be taking a vacation from watching Ohio State football in any form, replay or not. It’s Tressel fatigue, it’s kicked in with a fierceness, and we have no idea how Buckeye fans deal with it. Our Big Ten punching bag auditions are now open, and there are multiple candidates for the gig.)









1
Thought for the day says:
Whether or not my conference is better than any other has no bearing on the size of my dick. I just love college football.
January 6th, 2009 at 2:08 am
2
Bobafet7 says:
All Bullshit aside, every coach is going to have to say this after every win now, “We’re the best team in the country” will be there mantra
January 6th, 2009 at 2:15 am
3
TAFKastOSUB says:
I really don’t think that Mack Brown meant any disrespect to Florida, OU on the other hand, being that they beat them, maybe he was taking a shot at them. Regardless, by all accounts, it appears that Mack is a pretty class guy, as is Tressel, whether you are burned out on him or not, you have to at least give him the nod for being a class guy.
I know everyone is sick of Ohio State. But I’ve got to say, the media is just as much to blame as anyone else. Why they insist on making a living out of bashing the Buckeyes is beyond me – I liken it to Gary Danielson’s man love for Tebow. People are not really sick of Tebow, they are sick of Gary Danielson going on and on about him. Personally, I think GD slobbering all over him does him a disservice – Tebow’s game speaks for itself, he doesn’t need GD fawning all over him. Likewise, Ohio State’s bowl performances speak for themselves, no need to go over them time and time again and continue saying the same things over and over again.
I guess that is a societal problem, no one knows when to just STFU and allow the moment to speak for itself.
In light of that thought….I think I am going to STFU for a while and fade away.
Orson, you’re the best in the business – 1000 cocktails for having one of the best blogs on the Internet.
See you in another life brother.
January 6th, 2009 at 2:24 am
4
77toes says:
Who’s to say what is and what isn’t BS inside of the BCS.
It’s ALL BS at this point.
January 6th, 2009 at 2:25 am
5
Land of Os(borne) says:
Mack will only run for Gov once his term as Secretary of Defense is over.
January 6th, 2009 at 2:38 am
6
John Vierdsen says:
@TAFKastOSUB Yes, please go away. We will pay you to not post anymore.
January 6th, 2009 at 3:27 am
7
It's True says:
What does Mack Brown do? He sells Texas football.
Tonight’s performance showed that the Horns belong in the #3-#6 tier, but Mack is going to sell it as a #1 season to the audiences that matter: rich alumni and talented recruits.
Whether you like it or you don’t like it, learn to love it.
January 6th, 2009 at 5:48 am
8
ErieHog says:
I’d definitely take Utah on a neutral field against Texas.
January 6th, 2009 at 5:51 am
9
AWH says:
I’d take Utah -6 and USC -13.5
January 6th, 2009 at 6:04 am
10
Chas says:
TAFK,
If it’s any consolation, most people aren’t bashing the Buckeyes as much as they are the system; a system that rewards you guys for being a good team in – let’s face it – a bad conference for the past few years and for having a better Q rating than teams with an arguably better resume , thus allowing you to play in better bowls than you should rightly be playing in (see also: both Notre Dame and FSU in the BCS era). In a just world, you guys would have played UGa in the Cap One bowl, and no one would have cared who would have won or lost outside of the two teams involved, instead of making a major bowl due to a weak conference and name recognition – and losing for the third straight year. Just imagine how much more of an uproar there would have been if Boise State could have held on to beat TCU – a loss which doesn’t look so bad now, given that TCU’s only two losses are to a Utah team that dismantled Alabama and an OU team playing for the title on Thursday. In a nutshell, that is why people are bashing OSU. Well that, and Hang on Sloopy. Seriously, fuck that song. Okay, so it was written in C-bus, but c’mon man…you don’t see us belting out “American Girl” at every opportunity – and that song is about UF. Sort of. Maybe.
Also, for the record, Uncle Verne is the one with the man crush on Tebow. Gary Danielson has a Saban fetish. The more you know…
January 6th, 2009 at 6:25 am
11
Harvey Wireman says:
TAFKastOSUB’s rattling of SEC fans’ myopic cages was one of the great things about the EDSBS’s Commentariat. I liked it and I am sure I was not the only one.
Now back to our regularly scheduled insults:
Mack Brown’s “We are No 1″ crackpot statement is about as gnarly as Colt McCoy’s nostrils.
January 6th, 2009 at 6:50 am
12
Harvey Wireman says:
Mack Brown should’ve said: “Since we did not play to our fans’ expectations in this game, I will ask the team and band to pick up trash by the highway, more than the usual two days per week – this off-season. (This insult was stolen from that great American – Lou Holthhhh.)
January 6th, 2009 at 6:58 am
13
Jmuthaf'nT says:
on a more serious note, who was the blonde chick sitting with Colt’s parents? There needs to be pictures of her
January 6th, 2009 at 7:10 am
14
TJ says:
I absolutely loved how his “no one can beat us” declaration came within 5 minutes of Ohio State very much proving it could beat them. I have news for you, Mack: like every other team in the country (except maybe USC?) there are at least 5 or 6 teams you could lose to.
January 6th, 2009 at 7:42 am
15
Irwin Fletcher says:
Mack Brown has been barking up the wrong tree and he really showed his ass after the game by going there. It’s one thing to defend your players and your team – its another to say that the screw job is behind him and then to bring it up again at every open mic opportunity. Every pregame interview snippet I heard from him from different sources, he mentioned it. Then of course as soon as he could after the game.
The BCS did not screw Texas, the Big12 screwed Texas in their tiebreaking rules. And the Big12 was only following their rules to a “T”. Don’t like the rule? Get it changed next year (presumably to whatever Mack Brown thinks it should be to give Texas an advantage). Just shut up about it already.
January 6th, 2009 at 7:42 am
16
sullivan013 says:
Mack Brown the supreme bullshitter? Have you seen their mascot? What did you expect?
BCS debate:
Utah has a legitimate complaint
USC has a semi-legitimate complaint
The winner between OU/Florida have a indisputable right to claim the title
Texas has nothing more than a generous 4th down spot and a marginal win over a two-loss Big 10 team.
No matter how you polish it, it still came out the back end of Bevo.
January 6th, 2009 at 7:46 am
17
Yukon Cornelius says:
OSU, your salty tears are so delicious. The only thing better than Fox showing multiple shots of those crumbpacking Suckeye fans would have been if the cops just launched a few canisters of tear gas into the stands where they were sitting – you know, just out of habit.
At least now that Suckeye fans are done with football season I can get my pizza delivered on time.
January 6th, 2009 at 8:21 am
18
Noel Devine's Gold Teef says:
Ok, let’s focus, people:
Was the smoking hot blonde sitting next to McCoy’s parents (a) his sister, (b) his girlfriend, or (c) jus a random, ridiculously hot chick?
I think it was his probably his girl friend, but my wife disagrees. Why do I think that? Well, she made Jessica Simpson look like a waitress at Denny’s and even though Texas has incredible women, the odds that this girl happened to be sitting right next to the McCoy’s couldn’t be just a coincidence. Plus, she was dolled-up to the 9’s for being at football game, which means she knew she would be on TV.
Anyone else catch this?
January 6th, 2009 at 8:26 am
19
OhioDawg says:
Hmmmm tOSU losing in a big BCS bowl game? HAVEN’T SEEN THAT IN A WHILE!
tOSU probably wouldn’t have won either the Big East or the ACC this year. Completely overrated. Texas had to be completely flat in order to let tOSU stay that close.
January 6th, 2009 at 8:30 am
20
der schatten says:
@14…Jessica Simpson isn’t hot enough to be a Denny’s waitress; I’m thinking Huddle House. Graveyard shift.
January 6th, 2009 at 8:32 am
21
OhioDawg says:
#14 – I came to the same conclusion. I’ve got to believe that the starting quarterback at the #1 college program in a football-crazed state gets his pick. And that appeared to be a VERY smart pick.
January 6th, 2009 at 8:36 am
22
Mich-Placed Gator says:
to 14 and others…..
http://larrybrownsports.com/college-football/colt-mccoys-girlfriend-rachel-glandorf-hot/3296
January 6th, 2009 at 8:54 am
23
Mich-Placed Gator says:
apparently, Charlie Strong is Chris Rainey’s hero….
http://blogs.orlandosentinel.com/sports_bianchi/2009/01/florida-defensi.html
January 6th, 2009 at 9:01 am
24
suicidewatch says:
There was so much bullshit involved with his post game rant that there should have been a Mission Accomplished sign hanging in the background. All this bowl season had sone for me is expose the Big !2.
January 6th, 2009 at 9:13 am
25
Rich says:
@16, I agree with your comment, but note that Orson used the mellifluous “bullshitteer,” (think, “Mouseketeer”) not merely the mundane “bullshitter.”
Unlike your run of the mill bullshitter, a bullshitteer has a certain swagger, call it verve perhaps… yet he retains a certain petulance when cornered.
January 6th, 2009 at 9:17 am
26
hobeg8r says:
Random thoughts.
- I take back everything bad I ever said about Penn Wagers. (Almost everything). I could try to be funny and say that it is nice that the Big East is ADA compliant by hiring blind officials but…c’mon, they missed obvious holding calls (which would have been awarded points if this were wrestling); called penalties which didn’t happen (See the 2nd Roughing the Passer – Colt McCoy at the 15 yd. line which continued a drive) and WTF – Double Pass Interference?
- Hey, Terrelle, football is a CONTACT sport. Running out of bounds 5 – 8 yards early to avoid contact is no way to win a game. Tebow up! Did he ever throw a pass other than off his back foot? Meanwhile….
- Boeckman played lights out. His long passes to Robiskie were beautiful and that fade pass in the endzone….Why they didn’t try that on the (failed) 2 point conversion is beyond me.
- The mute button is wonderful. I found that I enjoyed the game much more. Those long views of the Gatorade jug were disturbing, however. Was there a subliminal message I was missing?
- Hey, Fox. Send the boys back to remedial math. At the end of the game, they were suggesting that Texas try to get into field goal range so they could only lose by 1 point. I never thought I would say this – but ESPN sounds like a dream. At this point, I also take back everything I said about Raycomm.
- The bands. I am still having nightmares. Texas uniforms (which Fox loved!) looked like the cheap Halloween costumes you buy your kid at the Dollar Store. tOSU uniforms reminded me of the Third Reich. I’ll let others address the music selections.
- The Shamwow salesman looked like he was not having fun. He should expand his horizons and do liver spot removal commercials.
- Pay it forward. Texas was able to Michael Crabtree tOSU. I still don’t know how defenses let this happen.
- I actually felt sorry for tOSU. At the end, I was rooting for them to win. If for no other reason – to shut Mack Brown up. I think Tressel is probably a decent guy who deserves to win sometime.
January 6th, 2009 at 9:19 am
27
yoyofutbawl says:
Was anyone else incensed how Fawx had mikes next to the UT band all night and we had to listen to that incessant crappy drumming?
Oh – tOSU, the Bridesmaids’ dresses are on Aisle 11. I’d rather lose like we do in Starksville than be you. Seriously. I’d go nuts.
January 6th, 2009 at 9:25 am
28
karlhungus12 says:
I thought I was going to lose my mind if I saw Terrell Pryor run out of bounds two yards before the 1st down marker again. I don’t know if the coaches told him to avoid contact at all costs or if he is just a pussy.
January 6th, 2009 at 9:28 am
29
hobeg8r says:
One more thing -
I honestly do like James Laurinitis but if Fox showed him ONE more time, I was going to lose my mind. Too bad they couldn’t get him in the same frame as the Direct TV remote camera AND the Gatorade jug.
January 6th, 2009 at 9:32 am
30
jauxpa says:
WOW…I am a native Texan who loves his Longhorns. I have now lived in Gainesville, FL (Titletown, USA) for the past 10 years. After being submerged in SEC football, there is no comparison. UT Played like shit last night. Hell, at the half, I was constructing my noose in my bathroom. Like I could have showed my face at work (here at the University of Florida) today in the face of what seemed to be a probable lose. Best in the nation, I have to concede, lives right here in my current home town!
January 6th, 2009 at 9:36 am
31
Crabapple Buck says:
MPG – that is some fine investigative linking you’ve done there.
hobeg8tor – I agree. I loathe the wwl, but at least they show the game when a play is starting. tOSU is used to holding never called since Big Ten officials haven’t called it in years. We are used to bad officiating. The only refs worse are in the Pac 10 and only because they fuck up replays too.
While this loss hurts, I feel like we at least were competitive and made it a game after being down 17-6, when usually the tent gets folded. If Terrelle Pryor can get his mechanics worked out in the off-season, I like our future. My impression is that Big 12 teams are getting their eyes opened by teams that offer actual resistance to their offenses. I am hoping that the down cycle that the Big Ten is in has bottomed. It would appear that there are some teams on the upswing, though it won’t be acknowledged by any commenters here. I will always wonder what would have been if Beanie hadn’t been concussed, but that is football and it wasn’t the reason we lost.
BTW, I was wondering if UT let us score so they could get the ball back with 2:00 left instead of running clock and kicking a game winning FG? Anyone else get that feeling?
January 6th, 2009 at 9:36 am
32
Ltrain says:
I especially loved missing the snap on 5-6 plays in order to catch yet another shot of the band…ESPN can ruin sports, but at least they know where and when to point a camera….
January 6th, 2009 at 9:42 am
33
Matthew says:
Buckeye fan, here (so I guess I should stay away, because I have the plague, right? Will you pay me not to post, too? Honestly.)
Never could have predicted it: OSU shows up to play, nearly beats a snubbed & righteously indignant Texas team, and still manages to get blasted on message boards while discrediting Texas in the process.
Yes, the Big10 is ultra-crappy of late, and it’ll probably be a few years before it really picks up again; yes, OSU has been given a BCS advantage because of its name and conference recognition; and yes, OSU just lost its third BCS game in a row. But, if you can’t see that last night’s game was not a remotely similar performance to the previous two title games, you’re as big an anti-OSU homer as they come. Texas blew a late double-digit lead and scored the game-winning touchdown courtesy a blown tackle. That’s not exactly going belly-up like the last two years.
Doesn’t matter if Texas was flat, either, because that’s the reason games are played (I’m looking at you, USC). If you hate OSU, that’s fine; but if you can’t admit that you’d rather mock them than admit they showed up to play, you’re proving yourself incapable of adding anything to the conversation.
Hats off to Texas and McCoy for a solid two-minute drill, though. Felt to me a little like being on the wrong end of the ‘97 Rose Bowl. Great game to watch, lots of fun and tension, but it sucks coming out on the losing end.
And quite frankly, I’m a little glad this season is over, too. I hate watching inconsistent football, and that’s all OSU gave me this year. Can’t wait to see what Pryor will do next season. Wake me up when OSU fires Jim Bollman.
January 6th, 2009 at 9:43 am
34
SDF Fan says:
TAFK is just irritated that given the juiciest of opportunities to rib Bama fans, his own team compounded its joke-worthiness by falling on its face again. Should be another long offseason in the Magic City.
January 6th, 2009 at 9:47 am
35
hobeg8r says:
Seriously – has ANYONE ever seen a double pass interference called?
Once you interfere with the receiver, isn’t what happens afterwards irrelevant?
I understand offsetting personal fouls but…..double pass interference?
I know, I know, I sound like Jim Mora…playoffs? Playoffs?
January 6th, 2009 at 9:50 am
36
maskedavenger says:
Re: Pryor and running out of bounds.
My understanding is that next year Ohio State would have just Pryor and Joe Bauserman a former “walk on” (in quotes because he was really a former baseball player and was not a walk on in the UM Nick Sheridan sense). So there might be something to Pryor being ordered to avoid contact.
January 6th, 2009 at 9:57 am
37
CuseFanInSoCal says:
I turned off the TV when the game was over, but Mack Brown really did a ‘we’re #1′ spin after the game? If the sweater vest hadn’t gotten rattled into challengening that 4th down spot, the clock restarts when the ball’s spotted… and Texas likely runs out of time. Of course, the Buckeyes can’t complain too much… they owned the first half, and went into the locker room only up 6-3.
January 6th, 2009 at 10:17 am
38
Mich-Placed Gator says:
34,
I was dumbfounded by that call. Double pass interference isn’t possible….well, last night proved it was, but ya’ll now what I mean.
Also, I agree with everyone’s criticism of FOX. While I enjoy some shots of the crowd, etc….missing parts of plays is ridiculous. WTF was up with the Gatorade bucket? Was Chris Angel in the crowd about to make it move by itself or levitate?
Miss Pryor running out of bounds would have driven me INSANE if I was a Yuckeye Fan, especially the one were he could have easily gotten the first down. Major pussy points awarded.
…and when Texas got the ball back with 2:05 left in the forth, ALL I could think about was Chase watching, drooling, and this video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKAbA5AUgtY
January 6th, 2009 at 10:18 am
39
suicidewatch says:
bigger future NFL bust
James Laurinitis or Colt McCoy?
January 6th, 2009 at 10:19 am
40
tcugolf says:
#5 – It may have been covered here before, but there are no two voices more alike than Robert Gates and Dennis Franchione.
January 6th, 2009 at 10:19 am
41
Edsall is God says:
tOSU seniors lost 8 games in four years to teams with a 89% winning percentage and all 8 teams were BCS-bound. I think they’re getting a bad rap.
At least the Buckeyes showed some heart yesterday and played a whale of a defensive game along with some offensive tricks. Their legacy is tarnished because of last year’s LSU beatdown when they weren’t good enough and didn’t deserve to be there…you got the feeling even they knew they shouldn’t have been there last year.
tOSU MUST beat USC next year at home or accept its place as the Buffalo Bills.
January 6th, 2009 at 10:34 am
42
justanotherbuckeye says:
@OhioDawg,
“Hmmmm tOSU losing in a big BCS bowl game? HAVEN’T SEEN THAT IN A WHILE!
tOSU probably wouldn’t have won either the Big East or the ACC this year. Completely overrated. Texas had to be completely flat in order to let tOSU stay that close.”
Your mastery of college football analysis is truly amazing. Tell me you do this type of writing for a living.
January 6th, 2009 at 10:41 am
43
shovel-pass says:
WORST BOWL GAME OF THE SEASON AND POSSIBLY EVER!
Am I the only one here who was anticipating this game, only to be humongously let down by it. I was seriously concidering after the first half to turn this mess off and watch a re-run of Everybody Loves Raymond. Did either team look like they wanted to be there in the first half? And who is the band geek at FOX? Nothing is better than hearing the band strike up after a score, but GOD DAMN ! I too am still hearing the TEXAS band drum line in my mind this morning. The best part was when they turned on the mics for BOTH bands AT THE SAME TIME. If FOX never gets a bowl game again it will be too soon. I can’t wait for the MNC game! I WILL be muting the game Thursday. I can get all the assinine comments that they make during the game from this blog, (readers of this site catch everything) so I won’t miss anything stupid. And I don’t care WHO you are, if you are a college football player, you don’t step out of bounds to avoid a hit, esp when you can pick up another 6 yards before the contact. Period.
Did I mention that FOX blows!
January 6th, 2009 at 10:43 am
44
tbone says:
Note to Jim Tressel:
When you dominate the half, your goal should not be to be leading 6-3. You can’t just turn it over to your bullpen in the 6th inning.
Probably not a good idea to have LBs covering slot receivers also.
Just sayin.
January 6th, 2009 at 11:26 am
45
Brian O'Blivion says:
I was lucky enough to miss most of the first half of that game, so I actually thought the game was better than it probably was. Kind of like if you miss the first 40 minutes of The Deer Hunter and start watching after that, it’s a lot better film.
That said, the band noise was the worst I’ve ever encountered watching a football game, except for the time I was at an FSU-Florida game and was unlucky enough to get seats right next to the FSU band. I’d rather have been water boarded.
January 6th, 2009 at 11:26 am
46
jauxpa says:
since the bands keep getting mentioned, what is up with what one of my co-workers eloquently described as the “Hitler Youth” uniforms of tOSU’s band…not to mention that damn feather or the guy dancing with the tuba at the beginning of the game
January 6th, 2009 at 11:29 am
47
Fuzzy says:
Methinks the lady doth protest too much.
What did you expect Mack Brown to say? They shoved a mic in his face and said “What do you think about not playing in the BCS championship game?”
He said “After what we did tonight, I don’t think anyone in the country can beat us. I’m going to vote us #1.”
Translation: “We played three of our five worst quarters of football all season, and we still beat a top 10 team with 20 or so legit NFL prospects… we’re pretty good.”
And the Utah coach came out and said the same thing. IMO Utah is the national champion regardless of who wins the BCS championship.
January 6th, 2009 at 11:38 am
48
Russ says:
Props to Frito Lay for breaking the gender/weight/age barrier in one stroke by having a dumpy, middle-aged lady in a pants suit serve as their VP of Marketing. Nothing like knowing your target audience!
January 6th, 2009 at 12:38 pm
49
ErieHog says:
Obligatory nice thing to say about the Big Ten: Minnesota is on the upswing, Indiana has been saltier the past 3 years than they have been since the 60s or 70s, and with a little Pioli magic, Iowa may soon be out from under the crushing weight of the most overrated coach in America. Penn State continues to churn out a borderline respectable product year in and year out.
Now for the harsh part: Ohio State is closer to Vanderbilt than it is to Florida. Let that sink in a bit. It’s not OSU’s fault that all of the Big Ten decided to go in the crapper about 4 years ago, dropping it from semi-respectable BCS conference to obligatory USC +1 victims. When you are passed by the ACC (deeper at the top) and the Big East (not as bad at the bottom end), you are in serious trouble as a BCS conference.
The Big Ten needs to rethink it’s position on a playoff– at least that way, USC and the SEC can’t always claim victory in games that matter– one or the other would have to be a winner, and the other the loser.
January 6th, 2009 at 12:39 pm
50
COB says:
Yukon Cornelius: Assuming you jingle keys for that disgrace in Ann Arbor, get back to rebuilding so you don’t embarass society again in 2009.
Cheers to an 0-2 BCS record for the ESSEECEE.
Go covered wagons!
I wish UF was playing USC so I would get to watch Urban’s face melt like in Raiders of the Lost Ark.
January 6th, 2009 at 1:36 pm