So excited he’s stroking out. Guz Malzahn, caffeine achiever.

There, but basically gone. It’s all quiet at BC after Jeff Jagodzinski was threatened with a firing following the mere possibility of an interview with the Jets, but count him as gone, because once you bring up the idea of seeing other people and actually get a phone number or two, you’re freelancing and buying condoms for the wrong, wrong reasons. BC’s probably just looking at this point to jettison Jags, promote former ECU coach Steve Logan to the head job, and dispense with the awkwardness of discussing their current coach in the past tense–as the athletic director did yesterday.

Disrespect, only 1.49 a gallon. Offense and disrespect are cheap as salt, but hey, if it gets the troops going GRRRRRR and stomping around nastily, then good for you.

90 percent of 110 percent awesome is…um… Percy’s at 90 percent, meaning he will still be faster than almost anyone on the field, but also that in the middle of a play you may hear the noise of high-tension cables snapping, watch Harvin crumple to the ground, and then see Harvin’s foot fly across the field, driven from his leg by the force of the terrible structural failure you just watched on national television.

We suck, but we’re ready! It’s good to be positive, even in the face of overwhelming evidence.