CURIOUS INDEX, 1/5/2009
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Sad piano music and one sad boy. Our favorite email we got on predicting Alabama would beat Utah was this: “Are you man enough to admit that nobody on the planet was more wrong than you?” Yes. Now that we’ve said this we’re “a man,” with furry Conan underwear, a broadsword, flowing hair, and a pet tiger. It’s JUST THAT EASY (like sacking John Parker Wilson, evidently.) Andre Smith, or whatever relative contacted an agent in his name, you owe JPW new ribs, as he was sacked eight times by the Utes. Some people dealt with this well, though. One of the voices of our generation has his tasteful, insightful, and classy response to the game fired up and ready. We’re dead serious on at least two of those adjectives. We encourage you to keep speaking. Dominique Franks, Oklahoma cornerback, on Tim Tebow versus the Big 12’s quarterbacks. “If you look at the three best quarterbacks in the country, (they) came from the Big 12,” Franks said. “The three best receivers in the country came from the Big 12. The three best tight ends came from the Big 12. So we’ve faced some great offenses, and a lot of people don’t understand that other conferences don’t have what we face.” Franks then acknowledged that Tebow would be fourth on his QB list. “Yup. I think our quarterbacks are better,” Franks said. “Just the way they conduct themselves and how they play on the field. I just think, playing against those guys, it’s a lot harder to prepare for those guys than it is for Tebow.” Oh, he’s right! Zac Robinson’s probably better than he is, and Robert Griffin, and…well, just take any of them really. You shouldn’t even prepare for him…if you’re a real man. In fact, we encourage you not to, actually. Have you considered eating a whole chicken from one of Miami’s numerous tasty chicken restaurants immediately before the game with a massive order of yucca? Wash that down with the oil swimming at the bottom of the tray when you’re done, and then go out and try to cover Percy Harvin. He’s so slow it won’t matter! Trust us! I have a nameplate and am not afraid to use it. Little men with nameplates ruin all kinds of things. Small but thriving football programs are one, and if you care to see the best example That picture is not fair. Eleven Warriors specializes in unfair pictures, and does not disappoint with their Fiesta Bowl preview. |
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1
TAFKastOSUB says:
Ah, Cowboy1979, the voice of the CyberTydeSabanNation; not even Hollywood could create a better character that represents the essence of the CTSN.
Humble pie is a dish best served with a cigarette and an ice cold beer.
January 5th, 2009 at 10:52 am
2
Dirty Flip says:
That’s funny. I heard the Texas Tech fans saying the same thing when I went down to Dallas to watch the Cotton Bowl.
I’m not sure if they were still saying that Big 12 QB’s and WR’s were better in the 4th quarter. I couldn’t hear anything over Harrell and Crabtrees crying or the chants of SEC spilling out of the Ole Miss section.
Go SEC.
January 5th, 2009 at 10:55 am
3
Chilltown says:
Fuck whomever leaked this to Mortensen, fuck Gene De Filippo for standing on a point of honor, fuck Jagz for breaking the clause in his contract, and most of all, fuck ESPN for dropping this bombshell as the segue into the highlights of BCs biggest college basketball upset since we beat UNC in the tourney in 1994.
January 5th, 2009 at 10:57 am
4
VandyDore04 says:
Orson,
Now that I have recovered from the delirium that was the Music City Bowl and all of its glory, I wanted to thank you for predicting the success of Vandy way back in July.
http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2008/07/18/fulmer-cup-vandy-bowl-bound-at-last/
January 5th, 2009 at 10:57 am
5
Brian O'Blivion says:
While I look forward with excitement and trepidation to Thursday’s game, we’re also on the cusp of a new Fulmer Cup season. So the question begs, does it officially begin at the final whistle of Thursday’s game, meaning any shenanigans Thursday night count, or does it have one Get Out of Fulmer Cup Points Free night to enjoy the MNC before the official count?
January 5th, 2009 at 11:02 am
6
beckett929 says:
what are we calling the Fulmer Cup for now on if hes not coaching? the Fulmer Memorial Cup??
January 5th, 2009 at 11:08 am
7
Doug says:
Oklahoma has, at the moment, the 99th-ranked pass defense in Division I-A. For a member of their secondary to be dissing Tim Tebow’s passing skills is kind of like the Iraqi Republican Guard telling the U.S. Air Force that their F-22s ain’t shit.
January 5th, 2009 at 11:17 am
8
CincySooner says:
Oh Dominique… why’d you do it?
(facepalms)
January 5th, 2009 at 11:19 am
9
hobeg8r says:
Hey Franks – since you have the best 3 TE’s in the country –
Don’t worry about Aaron Hernandez either.
He’s slow; can’t block; and doesn’t have good hands. Ignore him.
January 5th, 2009 at 11:24 am
10
CincySooner says:
#5 to answer your question
Orson settled matter this last year when determining if Louisville had points coming…
“The first day of the (Fulmer Cup) season is the day after the title game, no sooner.
The Queen has spoken.” – Orson Swindle
http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2008/01/25/fulmer-cupdate-aggieravated-assault-edition/?cp=1
Comment #8
January 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
11
CincySooner says:
Here is another quote regarding Franks that has me in preemptive-whimper mode:
“He doesn’t watch enough tape.” – Brent Venables when asked about Franks’ comments…
January 5th, 2009 at 11:39 am
12
Excuse me Stewardess, but I speak jive says:
I would club a baby seal just to hear what Cowboyintin1979 meant when he said he was on to “bigger endeavors”. I mean, we already know the only reason he was smoking while making the video was because you can’t smoke in the meth lab, so let’s keep those lofty aspirations less lofty to not dissapoint the public of the Roll Mutha’ Fuckin’ Houndstooth Nation…
January 5th, 2009 at 12:11 pm
13
Herb says:
Ahhh, BC showing all the hallmark class for which the city of Boston is known. I am enjoying their program’s long, slow demise.
BC AD to potential next coach: “Would you like to coach our football team? You will be paid less than a quarter what the highest paid coaches are, will have significant academic recruiting restrictions, will have a piss poor recruiting base, and are not allowed to look for another job. Sound good?”
January 5th, 2009 at 12:23 pm
14
yoyofutbawl says:
Fulmer Memorial Cup, for now & ever more. The Hello Kiffy Cup just doesn’t sound right.
January 5th, 2009 at 12:36 pm
15
westbrooke says:
I’m with you, CincySooner. With our recent history, they all need to keep their damn mouths shut until they produce on the field.
That said, two points:
1) This is significantly better than Birdine mouthing off before the USC game, so yay? We’re getting better?
2) I’m surprised how quickly this turned into a firestorm. I’d expect Orson to post Franks’s quote, this being a UF blog and all, but Mandel at SI ran with it and ESPN put it on their ticker like the world was crashing down around them. No similar response when the Florida D begins making noise about holding OU under 16 points or how the running backs are second rate. I suppose that’s the imbalance to be expected when you’re trying to overturn OU’s recent bowl history.
Can we just play the game now?
January 5th, 2009 at 12:43 pm
16
Ltrain says:
To be fair, the threshold for the ESPN crawl has sunk to such a mind numbing level that ….wait.
It is ESPN.
nevermind.
January 5th, 2009 at 1:11 pm
17
MSUDoginAL says:
My favorite line from cowboy…
“All I got is one word to say…….Roll Fucking Tide”
Gotta love Bama math!
January 5th, 2009 at 1:44 pm
18
A Point of Order says:
“The first day of the (Fulmer Cup) season is the day after the title game, no sooner. The Queen has spoken.” – Orson Swindle
The first day of the Fulmer Memorial Cup season should begin immediately at the firing of the last gun of the respective team’s last game.
Hence, AU’s Fulmer Memorial Cup season began sometime last year.
It’s either the punishment for sucking or a headstart for the special olympians of college football.
war eagle
January 5th, 2009 at 1:48 pm
19
JTG says:
Why didn’t the Utah-Alabama video use Yakety-Sax like everyone else? That never gets old!
And you gotta love BC fans at that link insisting that their school should be a final destination for coaches, and that their job is more prestigious than quite a few NFL teams.
Right….
January 5th, 2009 at 2:36 pm
20
NRBQ says:
At least Cowboy has switched from the Reds to Hossboro Lights.
January 5th, 2009 at 2:37 pm
21
TAFKastOSUB says:
Talk Radio Dept:
It’s on and popping on Finebaum today…could be a top 5 show today.
January 5th, 2009 at 3:15 pm
22
TAFKastOSUB says:
Comedy Dept:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rkoq8mXJUZ0
January 5th, 2009 at 3:57 pm
23
Always Happy To Please says:
Did somebody say “Yakety Sacks”?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=swNSqp9cpH4
January 5th, 2009 at 10:13 pm