Football is so easy for Tim Tebow he has played the entire season under a different name for Cincinnati on the offensive line:

(HT: Kevin and William.) This is most likely some giggle-worthy prankdom by Fox staffers, though Samuel Huntington would say that this is actually the Muslim Tebow, and that the two must meet and clash to determine the path of the 21st century because, um…because he said so. Also, if Tebow has been playing offensive line for Cincy and qb for Florida, we know why: his undivided attention would result in a 12 men in the huddle penalty on every play even though there’s only 11 men on the field. It’s just a matter of necessity, really.

Rose Bowl, open thread, evening and onward. Zombies and angels, the field is yours.

UPDATE! There’s now way in fucking hell we’re doing anything for the Orange BLOL tonight, and we do not apologize. We will do anything for love, but we won’t do that. Fun note, though: from pregame footage, have safely ascertained that Macho Harris has the Mariah Carey effect going on, and could be of any ethnicity whatsoever. Paraguayan? Algerian? Mexican? Half-Maori Australian? Yes.

HT: Jeremy.

To summarize New Year’s Eve and New Year’s thus far:

Peach Bowl. As noticed in our recap, the most entertaining thing about watching this game was watching a paper airplane ride a straight line from the upper deck into the ass of a Georgia Tech staff member on the sidelines. Also, Les Miles called a successful fake punt up by 35 points. Don’t fuck with Les Miles or he will burn you down and eat your dog.

Outback Bowl. South Carolina turned the ball over four times and never showed up, but how can you blame Stephen Garcia for it when they won’t let him play shirtless, brah? The uniform constricts his chi. Iowa pinned down a shitty, shitty Gamecock team and pummeled them with an upended fire hydrant. Ugliness from start to finish save for Ricky Stanzi’s hair, which was golden, flowing, and devoid of split ends.

Capital One Bowl. See lead pic for orthodontic metaphor of Georgia’s performance thus far as Michigan State leads 6-3. But you’re not giving Michigan State credit!!! No, because Georgia’s clearly a better team than they are and is stabbing itself in the neck with drops, misfires, and conservative play-calling. (You know: the usual.) Boridicus texted us with “Georgia needs some Pedialyte.” Buckets of it.

Gator Bowl. Nebraska won’t lose this game by much, but when they do, it’ll happen because they are much, much slower than Clemson, and it shows when option pitches are swatted out of the air for TDs and C.J. Spiller makes everyone on the roster miss twice on one punt return.

we are whispering because we bet you have a hangover and because lee corso is yelling about USC getting “screwed” out of the national championship game cool! you can say “screwed” on espn now well the outback bowl is on at 11 which is totally wrong and yet here we are and it is happening.

we recommend pedialyte and we recommend someone else get it for you . this is your open thread for the outback bowl. perhaps you should drink less next time hahaha you won’t but it’s a nice thought.

(image: steve spurrier seen five minutes before kickoff)