HALFTIME AT THE...UM, WAIT.

by Orson on Dec 31, 2008 1:07 PM EST

We just watched the end of what we thought was the first half of the Armed Forces Bowl: a time-saving pass-intensive four down sequence ending in a field goal, a kickoff, and...that's the half.

Incorrect: the first quarter was ending with the score 17-7, meaning the Armed Forces Bowl has gone just as planned: two of the most aggressive and college-licious offenses running sluttily up and down the field unimpeded by your "defenses." Air Force is currently holding our heart in its hands thanks to the repeated and vicious fullback running of Aaron Kirchoff Jared Tew, which is already priming us nicely for the fun of watching Jonathan Dwyer through LSU's midfield tonight.

This game, btw, will last seven hours at this pace. We hope you packed provisions.

The Armed Forces Bowl is just getting started. Bring enough water.

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The first quarter took less than an hour. Not sure how that equates to a seven-hour pace.

by bsd987 on Dec 31, 2008 1:16 PM EST reply actions

We meant that literally.

by Orson Swindle on Dec 31, 2008 1:23 PM EST reply actions

Speaking of Dwyer… where the Stop Calling this the Peach Bowl Preview Preview? or am I just blind?

by gtMK on Dec 31, 2008 1:28 PM EST reply actions

Did someone say something about running sluts?

I didn’t know there was a Texas recruiting party on tap today.

by Counter Trap on Dec 31, 2008 1:46 PM EST reply actions

So….

It really doesn’t take “forever” for my wife to get dressed?

That girl isn’t really “built like a brick outhouse”?

….wait….

Dr. Lou is on….

by PeayHog on Dec 31, 2008 1:52 PM EST reply actions

Dr. Lou: “If you wanna know something, ask the organ grinder, not the monkey.”

Clapping.

by Orson Swindle on Dec 31, 2008 1:53 PM EST reply actions

…That Dr. Lou what a card!

So Barkley wasn’t “drunk as a bicycle?”

Jessica Alba doesn’t really have “two puppies wrestling in a gunny sack” under her skirt?

I am unfamiliar with this “comic metaphorical hyperbole” with which you speak.

Your use of “figures of speech” frightens and confuses me.

by PeayHog on Dec 31, 2008 1:56 PM EST reply actions

Gotta Run Dept:

Awesome funny stuff all year….thanks a whole lot….also thanks to TCOAN for letting you play with the motely or nerdy or obsessed college footbaw fans……
…gotta go….see y’all next year (like the mouths of the souths say)

by Stacy Kiebler Luvs Me on Dec 31, 2008 2:01 PM EST reply actions

Technically, two of Houston’s scoring drives started in or near the Red Zone.
So, the score isn’t quite as indicative of an offensive orgy as it appears.

/trying to rationalize taking the Under on this one, too.
// Can I have a handicapping job next year since Salon is, apparently, dead.
/// How about just a handicapped hooker, then?

by GamecockTony on Dec 31, 2008 2:29 PM EST reply actions