THE PACIFIC LIFE HOLIDAY BOWL DRINKING GAME

“I’m a man and I have a forty in my hand!”

“Baby, this may be the scotch talking but, you know your friend Stefanie? Uh, well, how about a threesome with us . . . and her . . . husband? Where are you going?”

how about anytime Gundy is shown not paying any attention at all to his defense?

Safety = Finish your wassail.

Drink for Shamwow, the Sliders thing, or the slap chop.

A glug for every score? In this game? Boy, you really do want us to get annihilated.

First of all, I read it every time as an alcoholocaust, which, could be fitting depending on the amount consumed. Second, you should take a full drink anytime AC/DC gets played. Finish your drink if ESPN plays Christmas music (It’sDecember 30! Come on!).

Take a sip every time they cut to Jesse Palmer and his tie doesn’t touch his belt. Finish your drink every time they make a reference to The Bachelor.

Mmm, Erin Andrew’s wickets. I’d happily try a finger spin or two down the crease to see if my balls could knock the bails off her stumps.

/cricket jokes

Take a sip when
(1) There is a Dennis Dixon reference
(2) There is a USC/Pete Carroll reference
(3) There is a T. Boone Pickens reference

Take a glug if
(1) Jesse Palmer actually claims to know something

Crickets Dept:

Fellow USC Fan DC Trojan: The sound of crickets are being heard at your Erin Andrews-cricket joke…

…no offense – not familiar with the cricket sport, just the bug…

..and..apologies to all for bad cricket pun.

The Bachelor Dept:

How in the world did Jesse Palmer get a college footbaw broadcasting gig?

Mediocre player, career back-up…

..not funny…

…not smart…typical dumb ex-athlete

References to Tboone pickens or the nike guy are worth finishing your drink

11 – I think it was the tie he wore to the interview

double shot if any reference to anything from EDSBS

Jesse still has the greatest Bachelor moment of all times when he got a girl’s name wrong at the rose ceremony. It was the first episode and the previews showed him going through the names and faces of all the girls in the weeks leading up to the show. No wonder he was always a backup – I imagine a playbook is a little bit more complicated than a bachelorette bio.

Yes, I watch the Bachelor and love it for its terribleness. I am looking forward for a new season of the trainwreck beginning next week.

Hopefilly…..THE ORGERON:

Mix equal parts kerosene, Purple Drank and Everclear into a 16 oz tumbler. Drink in one big gulp, like Bluto in Animal House.

If mentioned 3 times, call the ER at the hospital before drinking and arrange ambulance transporataion first.

Definitely T.Boone but also take a sip when they reference that Okie State played in the “tough Big XII South” or if they reference Oregon beat Oregon State which beat USC.

SKLM @ 10 – perhaps the cultural gap was too broad, but I was sure that this blog of all blogs would have readers attuned to low-grade double entendres.

DCT:

We’re with you, wickets and all.

Cricket wickets= teeth?

Help me out here guys,

The legs. You could throw a frisbee through Erin Andrews astonishingly skinny legs.

Truly the Lord’s Grounds.

Sorry to threadjack, but this is crazy. Alabama’s AG office is investigating the Andre Smith thing..

http://blog.al.com/spotnews/2008/12/state_ag_probing_evidence_of_a.html

God, I love Alabama..we’re batshit nuts..

Gotcha. By the way, there are a truly startling number of google hits for “erin andrews” + legs

Orson @ 21 – I’m always a little fearful of women whose thighs are so estranged for one another. They don’t have to be inseparable, but on nodding terms is a plus.

Drink (the size of drink is at your choice) if:

1) The camera shows one of those fan made signs where they somehow figure out how to make the letters ESPN stand out.

Also,

2) along the same fan-made signs route, drink for every time the cameras catch one of those “Sportscenter is Next” signs.

3) Sip for every time they replay highlights of previous Holiday bowl games. Double sip for repeated mentions of the BYU teams in the ’80s.

Orson,

One side picks the Oregon cheerleaders. The other takes Erin Andrews. Drink every time there is a camera shot of the one you didn’t choose. For instance, If you have Erin Andrews, you have to drink every time the camera shows the Oregon cheerleaders.

I’m with Doug at the 5 spot on this one:
If you all are planning to drink on every score, you may want to consult a mortician.

My suggestions:
Full on chug for the mention of how this is not the same game as the Poinsettia Bowl.
Full on chug for action shot of animals doing something “cute” at Sea World.

Chug everytime the show a promo for the Rose Bowl…presented by Citi… USC v. Penn State.. New Years Day… on ABC!

Not a gap man, DCT?

Historically measured in fingers. For instance, if Erin puts her knees together and you can slip three fingers into the separation between her thighs, that’s a three-finger gap. Especially stunning if back-lit, if you like that kind of thing.

And who wouldn’t?

One swig for each time an end around is called a reverse.

Two shots for each shot of Belotti (if) wearing his sunglasses at night.

Three shots for a Chris Fowler Corey Hart reference after the above.

Just go ahead and surrender if Palmer’s tie is in red alert hobbit length mode with matching knot the size of T. Boone Pickens’ head.

NRBQ @ 30 – I have my preferences, but I’m not narrow minded. However, I don’t think I have to worry about challenging my preconceived notions of feminine pulchritude with Ms Andrews.

What say you Orson? The game has been entered. During the workup to the weird Uncle from out of town of them all the Roady’s Humanitarian Bowl they have already compared T Boone and Phil Knight.

Everybody in the club’s getting tipsay!!

a shot for every 3rd and long that becomes a 1st down on Oregon’s D.

I didn’t realize how awesome Atlanta was until ESPN told me, did you know King Tut was at the Civic Center, and we still got Chipper. Woot

A shot for every time Puddles the Duck teabags the Cowboy’s mascot.

I am with Brian @ 4, Shamwow deserves a drink… maybe even the snuggie commercial….you know…the blanket with arms….god I need a drink just thinking about that shit.

Btw, I want to punch that shamwow guy in the face…then buy his crazy kraut chamois…damnit

/ashamed

Wicked Wickets Dept:

DC Trojan & Orson Swindle: Erin Andrews’ boobs are so awesome combined with that pretty face that I have yet to wander down to check out her wicked wickets….which I just did…oh my…kills the ’ol chubby!

http://www.alligator.org/articles/2008/03/21/news/campus/080321_andrews.prt

@ 34 – if they do that they will certainly be dead by the second half.

You can buy the Whale shirt at:

http://www.topatoco.com/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=TO&Product_Code=QW-WHALE&Category_Code=QW

Uh oh. They just called him Pony.