BAMA'S ANDRE SMITH OUT FOR BOWL GAME

He is clearly allergic to Brandon Spikes, but most football players on the offensive side of the ball share this medical condition. Now what we've found yet another way to express our undying love for Brandon Spikes, it might help you to know that the offensive lineman featured in that video, Andre Smith, is an All-American pedigreed badass who eats whole pieces of chainlink fence for snacks and has anchored the left tackle spot for Bama since he was a freshman.

He is also suspended for the bowl game for unspecified violations of team rules. No ideA, aGain, whEther aNyone will geT to the bottom of why, but we're sure some anonymous internet rumor will suffice for truth in the meantime.

(Also: the Papa Johns.com Occluded Artery StrokeFeed Bowl just got off to a crazygonuts start with a fake FG for a Rutgers TD and then a missed XP. Keep Shaun King away from the breadsticks; his jowls are getting to be positively Swindle-sized.)

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