Comments on: SWAGRICULTURE WATCH

By: Mich-Placed Gator

Mich-Placed Gator — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 15:09:25 +0000

31,
Last Christmas, I was doing some shopping for my then 9 yr old daughter at her favorite store “Limited Too”. If you’re unfamiliar with the place, it’s basically a clothing store for little girls and they also sell some other items geared towards girls in the 6 to 12 age range. I was shocked, and somewhat angry when I noticed these “vibrating massagers” that were there, clearly being marketing to girls under 12 years of age.

I asked the manager of the store I was at (a very attractive woman in her early 30’s) if she had a daughter. She replied yes, an 8 yr old. Then I ask her if she would purchase one of these for her, turn it on, and handed it to her. She blushed, and said “Oh my God, No” and claimed she had no idea that these devices vibrated. I smiled, winked and kidded with her “but your taking one home, right?” She laughed and said “I just might have to do that”.

It turns out she was recently divorced, and a few weeks later I stopped back in the store. She remembered me, and I ask her out. We dated a few months, but she turned out to be nuttier than squirrel poop, so even though she was pretty spectacular in the sack, I had to cut her loose.

Apparently, those “massagers” either didn’t sell at all, or enough people complained about them. They are no longer in the stores.

By: yoyofutbawl

yoyofutbawl — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 12:39:38 +0000

Harris-

I assume you bought the Hello Kitty vibrator.

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Hello_Kitty_Vibrator

By: Mich-Placed Gator

Mich-Placed Gator — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 10:48:46 +0000

BCS Crocs huh?

They should shorten the name to just BC Crocs, BC for “birth control”.

….cuz there’s NO WAY yer gettin’ laid with those shoes on.

Unless of course you’re Timmy Tebow….and you decided to bust out some puss before marriage.

By: Flatlander

Flatlander — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 23:19:16 +0000

Wait, so those kids from Utah can watch Terrence Cody snap them like twigs in VERY HIGH DEF for all eternity?

That’s just mean.

By: DC Trojan

DC Trojan — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 23:16:57 +0000

Harris @ 22 – so what did you do with all the Hello Kitty merch then?

By: AZDuck

AZDuck — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 20:21:44 +0000

Oh, and be sure to click the link over to FoxSports’ slideshow. You’ll see what is quite possibly the funniest photo EVAR under the “Armed Forces Bowl.”

By: JTG

JTG — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 20:11:10 +0000

How about the Chik-Fil-A Bowl giving a $15 gift certificate to Chik-Fil-A?

How the hell did they come up with that number? And could any football player eat an entire meal (including sweet tea) at Chik-Fil-A for $15???

By: Counter Trap

Counter Trap — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 19:57:54 +0000

Great Orson,

North Korea just restarted the reactor–BECAUSE OF YOU.

By: ToddlyKSU

ToddlyKSU — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 19:47:44 +0000

I think Mangino (FAT JOKE!!) specifically requested the snack pack goodie bag from the insight bowl. He’s hoping the team doesn’t like it and he gets to collect all the single serving pudding cups for…experiments (pudding bath!)

By: Brian O'Blivion

Brian O'Blivion — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 18:52:49 +0000

Crocs bring a new level of douchebaggery to footwear. Kind of like the people who wear their bluetooths (blueteeth?) all the time even when they are not in their car or actually on the phone. And if you have a flashing blue light on your bluetooth, you are king of the douchebags.

Oh, and fuck Blu Ray. I’ll never adopt. NEVER!!

By: Harris

Harris — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 18:52:35 +0000

I once got my wife a butt plug with a built-in optical mouse, but we had to get rid of it after spending hundreds of dollars buying Hello Kitty merchandise while she masturbated.

By: Wozzo the Wonder Dog

Wozzo the Wonder Dog — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 18:37:45 +0000

Since it’s nearly Christmas and we’re talking about gifts: I have never asked for anything before but I’ve been good and I’d really like to see an LSUFreek satire based on a Mad magazine Fold-in section. It doesn’t have to arrive before Christmas …

By: Seer

Seer — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 18:30:37 +0000

Champs Sports Bowl and Capital One Bowl do it the best: they just give the players a shopping spree to Best Buy and let them pick their own swag.

By: hobeg8r

hobeg8r — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 18:26:47 +0000

Brian – that door hanging thing would work well for anyone who is forced/wants to watch the ACC games. It would keep you upright to maintain viewing pleasure.

By: vegas_buckeye

vegas_buckeye — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 18:24:34 +0000

@16 – needs a FailBlog – “HANGING FAIL” caption