SWAGRICULTURE WATCH

If you must insult us, please make sure you do it right.
It is ‘Limp Bizkit’ :lowersheadashamed:

I know that the blu-ray thing is supposed to be a joke. But it’s just not funny. It’s like calling a Viper a really slow and bland looking sedan. It’s just not funny. It’s dumb.

You know Tebow can’t wait to get his hands on those “BCS customized” Crocs.

And do you think that the Liberty Bowl might be sponsored by Nike?

Pussy rappelling shoes….the mental image is captivating…..ooohhh, repelling….not so interesting…

Las Vegas bowl includes one “Get out of jail free card.”

Interesting that The Humanitarian Bowl gives you a “winter jacket”. But no certificates to aid Darfur.

Which makes me think – Did The Weed-Eater Bowl used to give free weed whackers? Chain saws maybe?

Go easy on the SkyMall. At least once or twice on the hundred or so flights I took this year, I forgot my book AND my laptop battery was dead AND I had read each and every word of the United Hemispheres magazine of the month, twice AND my Ipod was dead AND I had enough of work for the day AND I had seen the in-fight entertainment three or four times AND sleep was just not coming my way AND I was not seated next to a hottie to chat up (does that ever happen outside of the movies, and my dreams?)…. So, I picked up the SkyMall and gave a look.

Honestly, who does not need a ramp for their dog to get into their car, and what home is complete without a giant crossword puzzle on the wall? I find it full of practical and affordable ideas.

I saw the photo and figured we were getting a Haley Lafontaine update.

Hey, not only do those glasses have a built in Em-Pee-Three player, but it also has AM and FM radio. Suh-weet.

Also, Crocs are the Air Jordans of today thanks to Mr. Tebow.

I know that the Wii thing is supposed to be a joke. But it’s just not funny. It’s like calling Mandom spokesman Charles Bronson gay. It’s just not funny. It’s dumb.

Prop 8 and BYU jokes will never stop. Ever.

We ride hard in tha duval!! That’s why we need those glasses. /thanks God we moved out of county lines.

Aww, Orson someone needs to give byu a heterosexual no-homo bro-hug!! They lost to fucking Arizona.

I’m still waiting for the Crocs spinoff of the “My New Haircut” video.

I think it’s funny that the BYU players’ Wii systems were included in something called a “bundle package.” Because if there’s any group of people who are experts at bundling their packages, it’s Mormons. (Since that joke was at Mormons’ expense while NOT including gay/Prop 8 references, I feel I deserve extra credit.)

As far as the “customized Crocs” for the Orange Bowl participants . . . what the fuck, Orange Bowl?!? Is that your way of punishing VT and Cincinnati for not selling more tickets?

Sitting next to hotties on the plane. Once! only once. It was a stroke of blind luck. Started chatting in the terminal and since it was southwest, got to sit next to her on the flight too. My uncle met his wife on a plane actually.

My favorite things in skymall: Harry potter collectible wand, and the thing you strap your head into and then hang on a door. Only a picture will explain:

http://www.skymall.com/images/products/AFV/102244915d.jpg

The worst thing I have ever seen had to have been the limited edition Sword of Gondor!!! /lightning crashes. LOTR memorabilia is bad enough, but in Sky Mall?

@16 – needs a FailBlog – “HANGING FAIL” caption

Brian – that door hanging thing would work well for anyone who is forced/wants to watch the ACC games. It would keep you upright to maintain viewing pleasure.

Champs Sports Bowl and Capital One Bowl do it the best: they just give the players a shopping spree to Best Buy and let them pick their own swag.

Since it’s nearly Christmas and we’re talking about gifts: I have never asked for anything before but I’ve been good and I’d really like to see an LSUFreek satire based on a Mad magazine Fold-in section. It doesn’t have to arrive before Christmas …

I once got my wife a butt plug with a built-in optical mouse, but we had to get rid of it after spending hundreds of dollars buying Hello Kitty merchandise while she masturbated.

Crocs bring a new level of douchebaggery to footwear. Kind of like the people who wear their bluetooths (blueteeth?) all the time even when they are not in their car or actually on the phone. And if you have a flashing blue light on your bluetooth, you are king of the douchebags.

Oh, and fuck Blu Ray. I’ll never adopt. NEVER!!

I think Mangino (FAT JOKE!!) specifically requested the snack pack goodie bag from the insight bowl. He’s hoping the team doesn’t like it and he gets to collect all the single serving pudding cups for…experiments (pudding bath!)

Great Orson,

North Korea just restarted the reactor—BECAUSE OF YOU.

How about the Chik-Fil-A Bowl giving a $15 gift certificate to Chik-Fil-A?

How the hell did they come up with that number? And could any football player eat an entire meal (including sweet tea) at Chik-Fil-A for $15???

Oh, and be sure to click the link over to FoxSports’ slideshow. You’ll see what is quite possibly the funniest photo EVAR under the “Armed Forces Bowl.”

Harris @ 22 – so what did you do with all the Hello Kitty merch then?

Wait, so those kids from Utah can watch Terrence Cody snap them like twigs in VERY HIGH DEF for all eternity?

That’s just mean.

BCS Crocs huh?

They should shorten the name to just BC Crocs, BC for “birth control”.

….cuz there’s NO WAY yer gettin’ laid with those shoes on.

Unless of course you’re Timmy Tebow….and you decided to bust out some puss before marriage.

Harris-

I assume you bought the Hello Kitty vibrator.

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Hello_Kitty_Vibrator

31,
Last Christmas, I was doing some shopping for my then 9 yr old daughter at her favorite store “Limited Too”. If you’re unfamiliar with the place, it’s basically a clothing store for little girls and they also sell some other items geared towards girls in the 6 to 12 age range. I was shocked, and somewhat angry when I noticed these “vibrating massagers” that were there, clearly being marketing to girls under 12 years of age.

I asked the manager of the store I was at (a very attractive woman in her early 30’s) if she had a daughter. She replied yes, an 8 yr old. Then I ask her if she would purchase one of these for her, turn it on, and handed it to her. She blushed, and said “Oh my God, No” and claimed she had no idea that these devices vibrated. I smiled, winked and kidded with her “but your taking one home, right?” She laughed and said “I just might have to do that”.

It turns out she was recently divorced, and a few weeks later I stopped back in the store. She remembered me, and I ask her out. We dated a few months, but she turned out to be nuttier than squirrel poop, so even though she was pretty spectacular in the sack, I had to cut her loose.

Apparently, those “massagers” either didn’t sell at all, or enough people complained about them. They are no longer in the stores.