CURIOUS INDEX, 12/18/08

by Orson on Dec 18, 2008 9:51 AM EST

Strictly for speculative purposes only. Subject to change. Florida 41, Oklahoma 30. That was our pre-coffee guess for the national title game. Take it to the bank! Preferably one about to become insolvent and rollying belly up to the FDIC!

We feel a little better about this bet thanks to all new completely unsubstantiated but still delectable rumors of academic ineligibility for one or possibly two of Oklahoma's players of note. Tim Tebow, having handed in the papers and tests he's supposed to for the semester, is is filing other paperwork. Richard Dawkins wants to know why he doesn't just ask God where he's going to go in the draft.

Cue Handel's Messiah. Tennessee's associate head coach Ed Orgeron is "leaning" toward Tennessee. We think they mean "slouching" toward "Bethlehem," but that's inconsequential in the light of LEMME GET DAVAAAHLS ANASSFIRE TAH WARMTHEAMBISHONS BY DACOACHO ISSA BAAAAAAAAAACKK!!!!

We're mailing a whole dead boar to the football offices in Knoxville just to make sure we get off on the right foot with this site's spiritual peltfather.

Mark Dantonio's not talking about Mark Dantonio. Mark Dantonio displays some impressive third person talking skills in a piece about his connection to Cincy where he coached before Mark Dantonio's stint at Michigan State. Mark Dantonio has this to say, but it's not about Mark Dantonio.

"It wasn't about Mark Dantonio," he said. "It never is. It's about each individual that was there. I knew they would go on. And I knew Mike would hire a good football coach."

It's one line, but it is also another brick in the wall of crazypants evidence we're collecting on him. He's mad as bats and would bite plates in half to prove a point. Mark Dantonio thinks we're taking this a bit too seriously. Mark Dantonio's going to eat a bagel and watch some film.

12 minutes; 8.69 plays. That is the bite the 40/25 clock has taken out of college football this season. The Wiz blames increased commercialization; we, as always, blame Oceania, who we have always been at war with and vow to defeat any minute now.

The sort of fair, nuanced commentary you expect from the NFL commentariat:
From Pro Football Weekly, via Blutarsky:

If you look at the Bobby Bowden, Mark Richt, Chuck Amato family tree, there is no discipline whatsoever. And if the players dont have natural strength, they are not strong. There is no substance to their strength programs. With the type of talent they have at Georgia and Florida State, they ought to be in the hunt for national championships every year. I dont know why Richt is not fending for his job.

Also heard from an NFL wonk to our ears at the draft last year: "Mario Manningham is a slam dunk. Oh, and [NAME REDACTED] is gonna have a great year at Indiana." Everyone lives in a filthy, ignorant village; some are just glitzier than others.

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Dear Coach O

tickle, not kill

Signed
The Rest of the SEC

by InsaneCoachPosse on Dec 18, 2008 10:02 AM EST reply actions

The Wiz knew this back in early September….

http://www.thewizofodds.com/the_wiz_of_odds/2008/09/the-football-rules-committee-appears-to-have-gotten-its-wish-with-a-reduction-in-the-average-length-of-games-but-the-40-25.html

just like he knows it now. The new clock rulez suck, dont be taking my futbaw!!. And to think that some thought it was the crappy early season match ups that caused the plays per game decrease. For shame!

by meatybob on Dec 18, 2008 10:07 AM EST reply actions

I like how the Simmon’s Jewelry ad gets replaced by one for some “Get Rich Quick Scheme” involving a guy who looks a lot like Wayne Newton’s little brother.

Your ad server certainly knows your audience.

by GamecockTony on Dec 18, 2008 10:11 AM EST reply actions

The shorter games are the great unmentioned cause of all the upset craziness of the past two years.

by Josh on Dec 18, 2008 10:13 AM EST reply actions

What, no “oh god the Orgeron” tag?

by Signal to Noise on Dec 18, 2008 10:15 AM EST reply actions

It’s not the 40/25 play clock. That costs 2, 3 seconds per play maximum (and that only if teams use the full 40). The rule that’s making the difference is running the clock on ready-for-play after going out of bounds. That’s 15-20 seconds on the plays that it happens.

by SpartanDan on Dec 18, 2008 10:22 AM EST reply actions

I bet most teams wouldn’t be losing those plays if they weren’t huddling for a play, then another play at the line of scrimmage, and then trying to audible into a third or fourth play as the clock runs down to 0. Just call a damn play and run it!

by jacketexan on Dec 18, 2008 10:27 AM EST reply actions

EIGHTH!!!

by jacketexan on Dec 18, 2008 10:28 AM EST reply actions

2 things on the OU academic ineligibility rumors

- OU is still taking finals, thus it’s damn near unpossible to say someone is academically ineligible

- i had a 1-2 heads up on murray and granger being out, thanks to a tenuous, fourth-hand connection to a source on the team – according to him, as relayed by the half dozen people it goes through before it gets to me, the academic stuff is just rumors

and c’mon OS, 30? really? this isn’t one of those vaunted Big 10-hiding-in-SEC-uniforms offenses you’ve faced all year – we may not win, but we will probably break 40 regardless

by okiedomer on Dec 18, 2008 10:32 AM EST reply actions

whoops!

meant to say 1-2 DAY heads up

by okiedomer on Dec 18, 2008 10:33 AM EST reply actions

The Amato branch of the tree, at least, managed to produce two of the most underappreciated players in the NFL in only seven years.

by Herb on Dec 18, 2008 10:42 AM EST reply actions

According to the Big 12, the huddle is a thing of the past…..the huddle keeps them from scoring so damn much…you know how many TDs you can throw in 30 secs?

Coach O at LSU makes more sense….please….not at Tenn…they already have Monty Kiffin, and I would hate to see Coach O have to get into a disagreement and throw both Lane and Monty thru a plate glass window, according to sources, thats how the interview went and how he got to be the frontrunner….

by Mr.Pelican Pants on Dec 18, 2008 10:44 AM EST reply actions

The score that immediately jumped into my mind was UF winning 48-37 in a USC-Texas-style slugfest.

by PW on Dec 18, 2008 10:45 AM EST reply actions

#6, I agree.

The best thing about the 40/25: It’s removed the inconsistency in the time that refs get the ball ready for the next play. Under the old rules, there was some serious candyassing going on, especially when your team was behind.

And someone needs to explain why less football is a good thing. F TV, it already has too much influence as it is. Look at the crappy product the NFL puts out: Punt, commercials, long drive for a field goal, commercials, kickoff, commercials, three and out, commercials, etc.

by Raider Red on Dec 18, 2008 11:07 AM EST reply actions

great… just great…

Murray on Tuesday
Granger on Wednesday
Rumors of academic grab-ass on Thursday

If I wake up tomorrow and read “Heisman Trophy Winner Hit by Meteor” in the morning paper, I just might lose it.

by CincySooner on Dec 18, 2008 11:13 AM EST reply actions

Too bad Coach O is no longer at Ole Miss. He and Andy Kennedy would be a great duo.

http://sports.espn.go.com/ncb/news/story?id=3777703

by EmoDawg on Dec 18, 2008 11:14 AM EST reply actions

“I dont know why Richt is not fending for his job.”

I don’t know why PFW can’t hire someone that knows how to use the English language.

by Jackwraith on Dec 18, 2008 11:42 AM EST reply actions

Dr. Miles Yellow Incandescent Taffy Freakout Train will soon be followed by a thunderous Hummer with mud tires the size of Her man Johnson.

Yawyawyawyaw yawwww-ya, yaw-yawwwwww, Tigahs…

by Billy From Baton Rouge on Dec 18, 2008 11:43 AM EST reply actions

Wouldn’t Knoxville make it more like Slouching Towards Gomorrah?

I have no idea whether DaCoachO contributes to the corruption of American culture in a way that would make Robert Bork flustered, but I’m pretty sure he’s not the Second Coming.

by Chuck on Dec 18, 2008 11:55 AM EST reply actions

Ok, I’ll bite.

What is wrong with that sentence?

by Kecalf Bailey on Dec 18, 2008 11:57 AM EST reply actions

We’re at war with Oceania? I thought last week we were at war with Eurasia. I could have sworn the Ministry of Truth told us that we…..

/ Clubbed on head. Awaiting re-education

by Mark D on Dec 18, 2008 11:58 AM EST reply actions

I always suspected Gators fans lived in an Orwellian state. It certainly explains why so many think that college football has only been played since 1990.

by Will Q on Dec 18, 2008 12:07 PM EST reply actions

In truth, Will Q, we are true Orwellians. We believe it has only been played since 1984.

by Orson Swindle on Dec 18, 2008 12:11 PM EST reply actions

Unlike Georgia fans, who more or less regret most of what has happened since 1984.

by Jason on Dec 18, 2008 12:20 PM EST reply actions

Richt’s win/loss percentage and the time it took him to get to (I think) 70 wins are both better than Vince Dooley’s. The idea that his job should be in jeopardy is just stupid.

But, idiocy like that keeps our attention on the commentators and off the game. Thank you great god Cthulu.

by OhioDawg on Dec 18, 2008 1:20 PM EST reply actions