BOWL PREVIEW PREVIEWS: THE CONGRESSIONAL BOWL

by Orson on Dec 18, 2008 1:42 PM EST

IN A WORLD of honor, duty and sacrifice..

In a time of chaos...

They will be called to the halls of those with their grips on power...

...and their granddaughters...

...to play in a contest in front of at least 10,000 screaming people....

...to decide who wins: one team with an outstanding turnover margin representing the best a nation has to offer (4th in the nation,) or another team with an outstanding turnover margin representing the naked Demons that hide within us, and who sometimes throw for over 200 yards....

Riley Skinner in impassioned clip: "I'm not trying to do the wrong thing. I'm not trying to do the right thing. I'm trying to be me, and to the help our abysmal 89th ranked redzone offense score somehting, anything like a touchdown. AND IF I HAVE TO BE NAKED TO DO THAT SO BE IT!"

(Swelling French horns, shots of the Washington monuments...)

This December...find out what happens when the 5th ranked team in the ACC Atlantic division faces an independent team that, aside from their granted status as Real American Heroes, managed to win a game without throwing a pass this year...

...at 11 a.m. on the Saturday before Christmas, a struggle between sailors and demons in the shadow of the Capital will ensue, and only one will emerge to claim the crown...

Fred Thompson...

"Ain't but one way to do it, and that's my way, son."

...and George Lopez...

"I do this for you! And my country! And mi rasa in vieja Samoa! VIVA SAMOA!!!

...in....THE CONGRESSIONAL BOWL: Because honor has no options.

The Congressional Bowl: opens at 11:00 a.m. on ESPN. Rated SWIB (Sleepy, Watch in Boxers.)

Tweet Comment 16 comments | 0 recs |

Do you like this story?

Comments

YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TOSS SWEEP

by Holly on Dec 18, 2008 1:47 PM EST reply actions

Shitty sweatpants game is better than no game at all.
Wesley Pipes is going to get a major workout for this one.

by BurritoBrosShits on Dec 18, 2008 1:54 PM EST reply actions

In the words of the late Jack Spore

“Three things can happen when you pass and two are bad.”

by The Holy Grail on Dec 18, 2008 1:56 PM EST reply actions

Son, Somoans don’t take a dump without a plan.

by Miaze n Brew Dave on Dec 18, 2008 1:57 PM EST reply actions

This [Bowl] business will get out of control. It will get out of control and we’ll be lucky to live through it.

by skinnyphatman on Dec 18, 2008 2:16 PM EST reply actions

Well, Arthur Wellesley, the Duke of Wellington, famously remarked that the Battle of Waterloo was won on the playing fields of Eton.

Go Navy!

by Techie on Dec 18, 2008 2:19 PM EST reply actions

I can actually think of one place in SaxbyLand which will actually be a.) open and b.) pouring for this game. Thank heavens.

by brougham on Dec 18, 2008 2:24 PM EST reply actions

after a weekend spent without football, i’ve got the shakes, twitches and cold sweats and my mouth is watering over…wake forest v. navy? okay, well, yeah, that’ll do…ya know that scene in william s. burroughs’s “a junky’s christmas” where the junky shows up at the dr.’s door on christmas day looking to score? i am that junky, and congressional bowl, you are the doctor, so give me my 1/4 grain of sweet, sweet football

by okiedomer on Dec 18, 2008 2:25 PM EST reply actions

Once more, we play our dangerous game, a game of chess against our adversary – The Demons… But today the game is different. We have the advantage.

by Anonymous IV on Dec 18, 2008 2:26 PM EST reply actions

That’s the Eagle Bank Bowl to you, commie.

by Doug on Dec 18, 2008 2:55 PM EST reply actions

I feel like such a fucking junky, ready to suck at the dick of Wake Forest to get that first new fix in weeks. Oh God Jim Grobe please warn me before you toss your load.

by GTSteve on Dec 18, 2008 3:05 PM EST reply actions

I’ve already switched to soccer – and the new vice was powerful, the children were hiding when I was screaming at the Barca – Real Madrid game. You can mock, but it means that the Rose Bowl is a bowl hit for old time’s sake instead of bottoming out in the gutter of the Insight Bowl and swearing never again.

by DC Trojan on Dec 18, 2008 4:32 PM EST reply actions

during the off season the only fun is watching ESPN classic and trying not to remember who won

Basketball/Hockey/Poker/Bowling just makes me angry… and when I see women doing it and trying to make it competitive, I just get sad

by InsaneCoachPosse on Dec 18, 2008 7:07 PM EST reply actions

I am within walking distance of the Dead Brother, bitchez, and I WILL be trading scalpers a pint of JD for a pair of primo duckets. And if all goes right, a former Redskins cheerleader will be going with.

Haterz, step to the side, plz.

by Lazy Media on Dec 18, 2008 7:42 PM EST reply actions

Jeezus, Steve.

That was creepy, even from a Techie.

by NRBQ on Dec 18, 2008 8:26 PM EST reply actions

The only seats I saw available on StubHub this evening were in my old row and section for Nats games at RFK. $99. The fact it’s going to be in the 30s for a high tomorrow is going to really help attendance…

by OrangeGator on Dec 19, 2008 11:05 PM EST reply actions