LOOK, YOU ALREADY GOT YOUR MUSTACHE POST. WHAT DO YOU PEOPLE WANT FROM US?
Our apologies for today’s lack of content, campers—Fearless Leader Commandant Swindle is stuck in mortgage lending/house closure hell*, and my latest FCP masterpiece is dropping frames like they’re third-period French. We shall return. In the meantime, we suggest you bust out your covert eggnog stash from the office minifridge, open up your hearts and let the Patrick Swayze Christmas in:
*Also, feel very free to leave all manner of well-meaning but overbearing advice for new homeowners in the comments for Swindle to find. He’ll like that.
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51
Vandy J says:
I’ll tell you what I told my Ramblin’ Wreck cousin who bought a couple weeks ago: the best thing you can do is make sure that on the day of closing, you choose something for breakfast that you won’t mind seeing again in the parking lot of the title office.
And congratulations. It takes a pair to take the plunge just as we’re all headed for the bread lines. ;]
December 17th, 2008 at 8:48 pm
52
Stacy Keibler Luvs Me says:
Baby Swindles Dept:
Now that Orson and the Missus have their nest, is it time to fill it up with babies? Grandma Swindle and other Enquiring minds might want to know….
December 17th, 2008 at 8:52 pm
53
jb says:
If you make more $$ an hour than the repair guy, it seems like a good deal to hire someone. If you make less than him, it seems like a rip-off.
If you plan to renovate the bathroom, and your house only has one, send you family on a vacation of some kind until it is functional again. Unless your wife is cool with peeing in the kitchen sink.
December 17th, 2008 at 9:18 pm
54
Mr.Pelican Pants says:
Ahhh…..homeownership…..except now would be a good time to rent…..there is gonna be a 2nd mortgage/real estate crisis once they sell off all of that foreclosed stuff and the houses hit the market at the first of the year….the crisis within a crisis…..
But rates are low…..sell in about 5 yrs, then build….
I am glad I got out of “flipping” about 4 yrs ago, I know a lot of ex-millionares……hell several of them are now ex-hundred thousandaires by now…..and be sure to watch alot of “Flip this House”, “Trading Spaces”, “What is my house worth?” and “Why is the UPS Truck Still in my Driveway?”…..and get a zero radius turn lawnmower….and get a hot tub with a waterpik showerhead….
December 17th, 2008 at 10:35 pm
55
Techie says:
MST3K is the greatest show in the history of television.
Tom Servo will be the name of my first child.
December 18th, 2008 at 1:04 am
56
Billy Sims says:
BOOMER!
December 18th, 2008 at 1:59 am
57
TheMightyErik says:
I can relate to many of these things. My favorite money pit moment was after spending around $30k for a new roof and complete HVAC system the old lady looked at me and said:
“Yeah, that was great. We just blew $30k and the house looks exactly the fucking same.”
Yeah… thanks, honey.
December 18th, 2008 at 2:41 am
58
sullivna013 says:
Learn where your pipes, buried cables and power circuits are and appropriate cutoffs. Lable your electrical box and keep a flashlight with live batteries hanging nearby. Keep some fuses: 10-15 Amp for lights and power, 30-Amp for things like water heaters and appliances.
See if you can get the plans from the city planner for sewer and water lines. Buy some dye packets and check your toilets for leaks (into the bowl). Repair any that do immediately. Check your dryer vent line for lint and your crawl space for any signs of leaks, pests, misplaced insulation and structural stress. If you have an attic, check all wiring and ventilation lines – make sure you know which goes where in the house.
Learn all you can from the following website on your particular repair issue BEFORE calling the repair guy:
http://www.inspect-ny.com/
Oh, and buy a stud finder BEFORE hanging the dining room mirror.
Sullivan013
December 18th, 2008 at 7:44 am
59
yoyofutbawl says:
HOAs suck, period.
My old HOA was so bad that I did the stoopid thing and ran for the board, and they made me El Presidente. For 3 years. I was soooo sick of it but had no choice because the other board members made me look smart (a hard thing to do). Rest assured that 30-40% of your dues go to shit. We were paying $33K for a $10K policy, paying twice what we should have on most everything else, etc.
I stayed on the new board for one month. They immediately voted to pay $3K for a $500 asbestos inspection (I’m a licensed asbestos inspector, among opther things). I resigned that night & put my condo on the market two days later and now commute from Blowing Rock to Charlotte when I have to. And from what I hear from employees, they have it worse.
December 18th, 2008 at 9:08 am
60
sb says:
This is…speaking @ #39…pretty close! While closings seem to have diminished a bit (refi’s seem to be flooding the market), foreclosures, bankruptcy, wills, trusts, estates keep the doors open and the bills paid. A wonderful practice which enables one to read profusely, keep banker’s hours and sleep at night, which is the primary reason I have so much time for O.’s Intriguing Time Sink…time for a Star-Butt’s run…gotta get the eyes open.
December 18th, 2008 at 9:27 am