CURIOUS INDEX, 12/17/08

by Orson on Dec 17, 2008 10:25 AM EST

YOUR VIEW: It sucks.

From the LA Times Best Sports Photos of 2008, which also features a great shot of Kahlil Bell making some dentist good money at a Fresno State player's expense.

Tonight, we'll go fifteen whole minutes before finishing. The flowers, the expensive dinner, the candles, the special--you're not!---oh yeah, baby. The Isley Brothers. You might get your warm-up stroke on to something else, but tonight? We're cranking out the firm tidal pelvic tsunami strong and steady to Groove With You. What we're trying to say is: your triple-options are passion, love, and a contract extension that will put you in a trance of pleasure so intense it'll knock you out to the Peach Bowl. You go 9-3 in year one and beat Georgia, and that's just the kind of lovin' you get.

The Hoff. Say no more. What can unite shot-chugging Arizona coeds and clipboard-carrying Mormons? Hasselhoff singing the national anthem.

Why not make it 30 years and save the effort? JoePa gets a three year extension. More on this, but consider this: Joe Pa has been at Penn State since the Korean War. In theory, JoePa's lifespan as a football coach at one university could be longer than the entire existence of North Korea as a nation. Zombie coach versus zombie nation: GO! TO THE FINISH!!!

Octaroon power! Jay Jacobs responds in a most politically correct fashion to any and all questions about the hiring of Gene Chizik at Auburn. Did you know he lost his virginity on a pool table in a hot interracial scene? Us neither.

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Re: JoePa…you know what this means, don’t you? That means we get Bobby [Bowden] another 3 years. YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. Thank you, JoePa.

by hobeg8r on Dec 17, 2008 10:30 AM EST reply actions

With a new hip, he thinks he can go another 43 years. The odds of him dying during a game are approximately 28-1. May be lower if you consider stress, excitement, etc…

by Crabapple Buck on Dec 17, 2008 10:43 AM EST reply actions

Al Groh at almost $2MM? I think the UVa AD must have been drinking plenty of Mike’s Cranberry Hard Lemonade too when he made that decision.

by yoyfutbawl on Dec 17, 2008 10:44 AM EST reply actions

Crapapple — it’s Big 11 football. They won’t be having any of your newfangled excitement during their football games, mister.

by Albino Tornado on Dec 17, 2008 10:55 AM EST reply actions

1) I strongly suspect that “Mike’s Cranberry Hard Lemonade” is going to become a running joke around here.

2) My sister-in-law is a DST (AKA “Damn, She’s Thick”), as was a newscaster in Las Vegas who did some wonderfully dirty things to me (That’s neither here nor there, but I like saying it.) I feel confident in saying neither of them would share a Mike’s with Jacobs, though they might give him a 40oz. of St. Ides as a cruel joke.

by Harris on Dec 17, 2008 11:32 AM EST reply actions

Raspberry flavored St Ides? Was doing a job at a c-store back in the late 90s when a guy came in and bought a 40 ouncer, a pickled pig’s foot, 2 packs of saltines and four Kools (not packs, 4 ciggies).

by yoyofutbawl on Dec 17, 2008 11:41 AM EST reply actions

Castro wishes he had the stamina of Joe Pa. What’s that Fidel, 49 years in charge and you just can’t take the pressure anymore and had to resign? Wimp.

by Steve on Dec 17, 2008 11:51 AM EST reply actions

Evidently Iowa St.’s AD went to the Bob Dole school of speaking of oneself in the third person…
http://www.al.com/auburnfootball/birminghamnews/index.ssf?/base/sports/1229418934167420.xml&coll=2&thispage=1

by pick6bamr on Dec 17, 2008 11:55 AM EST reply actions

What a coincidence! All the best photos of 2008 were taken by L.A. Times photographers.

by FLURBEN on Dec 17, 2008 12:01 PM EST reply actions

I’ve lived in Vegas for 18 years and never had a desire to see the mediocrity that is UNLV football (sheee—oooottt, that isn’t even really mediocrity) or the Las Vegas Bowl Sponsored by a different highest bidder every year.

But, The Hoff? Shit, O. You just made me rearrange my weekend plans, just so I can get a group together and sing Cheeseburger in Paradise with my LOLCats I can has Cheeseburger shirts on.

I’ll prolly end up doing what I do every year, which is bet on the game and pass out drunk before halftime.

Viva, baby.

by vegas_buckeye on Dec 17, 2008 12:48 PM EST reply actions

Vegas baby, Vegas.

My buddy had a memorable trifecta there last year, meeting Tiffany, Danny Bonaduce, and the Hoff in the space of an hour.

He said Bonaduce has done some hard livin’, brotha.

by Raider Red on Dec 17, 2008 1:25 PM EST reply actions

They just started airing “The Danny Bonaduce Show” as a morning radio show here in Philly- it is absolutely terrible. I listen for how long it takes him to refer to his previous drug and/or alcohol addiction or his deviant sex life, then i turn the station. I swear if it was a drinking game I would be dead in an hour. He won’t shut up. We get it, Danny- you used to get high and masturbate on your dog. get the fuck over it.

by Excuse me Stewardess, but I speak jive on Dec 17, 2008 1:46 PM EST reply actions

consider this: If Joe Paterno averages 9 wins per season over the next three seasons he’ll have 410 wins (not counting the victory pending in this year’s Rose Bowl) at the end of this current extension. Eddie Robinson retired with 408. Paterno > Robinson? Nahhh, can’t happen! Can it? Well, Paterno’s averaged 10 wins per season over the last four seasons.

by mhentz on Dec 17, 2008 2:50 PM EST reply actions