CURIOUS INDEX, 12/14/08

BOOMER!

BOOMER!

BOOMER!

BOOMER!

BOOMER!

BOOMER!

HEY EVERYONE, LOOK AT ME AND NOT THE DORK THAT CAN PASS!! BOOMER!!

BOOMER!

sooner or later, we’re gonna get cha!

-Billy Sims
drunken baffoon

http://ncaafootball.fanhouse.com/2008/12/14/introducing-billy-sims-the-heisman-buffoon/

So apparently Nick Saban does have time for this Chizik.

sorry.

can’t help it.

won’t do it again

maybe

tc

Congratulations on your impending national-title win, Orson — doesn’t Bradford’s Heisman win mean that Oklahoma is about to take the pipe in a big way in the BCSNCG?

When your 31-year old daughter, who is a Bammer fanatic & well educated on the subject of college FB, calls you and asks “Who the HELL is Gene Chizik?” , you immediately console her with the following thoughts:

1. Get ready to raise 7 or 8 or 9 fingers the last Saturday in November in the upcoming years.
2. You will OWN the State of Alabama in recruiting for the foreseeable future too.
3. In an somewhat related matter, Hello Kiffy & Dan Mullen & The Hat & GIGGETY!!! will have someone to beat up on for years to come.

No doubt, AUbarn will be issuing Chizik Quarters by Spring Practice.

In reviewing the never ending battle between the Bama and AU athletic departments to see who can outdumb each other, it appears the Tigers just went nuclear on us.

Good point O. I’m guessing the only reason McCoy didn’t get it was that he already won the Camp award.

To use a Phil Steele reference, are either of these picks so completely f*cking awful that Tennessee and Auburn are going to get Baylored?

I don’t know how much worse it can get for Auburn,but hopefully it will. The [REDACTED] years are going to look like a honeymoon compared to the Bataan Death March this is going to turn out into.

Chizik sounds like the deathly next level up from Shingles.

“Aw shit, Dad’s Shingles turned into Chizik!”

So, wait, in one year, Tennessee pushes out a HOF coach (rat bastard) and replaces him with a boy-man (hot-wife) bearing a great last name (COUGH – Shula – COUGH), MSU pushes out a coach who won SEC Coach-of-the-year last year and runs a super-clean program, and Auburn pushes out a Coach who possessed Urban Meyer’s kryptonite, owned us for 6 years, and went undefeated only 4 years ago?

WTH? The SEC collective coaching resumes really went down this year. Of those 3 hires, only Mullen makes any sense at all.

Is there a deadline on how long it is appropriate to gloat over this Chizik thing? This is the worst perception hire since….who?

Lincoln hiring McLellan to take on General Lee?
The French hiring the guy who built the Maginot line? Nebraska hiring Bill Callahan?

As a Bama fan, we’ve made some bad hires (praise be to Saban), but this the equivalent of calling GM to see if you can interview their CEO.

Two ARP!s up to Auburn! I thought nothing could top “Hello Kiffin!” at UT. I was wrong!

Chizik Nickel link no worky.

Fellow SEC fans…be prepared for constant taunting, finger-pointing and laughing from THE Ohio State fanbase for at least the next three seasons.

Dammit.

#1

I first have to say that I have always been impressed by Sam Bradford. He is smart and talented and represents his university well. He deserves congratulations on the Heisman.

But why such an outstanding individual would choose to associate himself with a classless place like OU is beyond comprehension.

Beat the hell out of OU. You have Austin’s full support.

Some insight on Brady Hoke. He is ditching a “loyal” alma mater that after the best season in its history only was offering Hoke $400,000 and his assistants a 3% pay raise. Doesn’t quite live up to $750,000 and San Diego weather.

I think Bradford was the logical choice for The Award this year.

Tebow didn’t have the stats. He was an important part of the offense at Fla. this year, but the real key to the success in Gainsville has been the Harbin/Demps/Rainey express, not Tebow.

#12

I don’t know much about Bradford other than what I’ve read recently and I’ve watched 4 or 5 of OU’s games this season.

He’s a very good QB and I’m sure he’s a fine young man….AND certainly deserving of the Heisman. All 3 guys in NYC were very deserving, so no matter who won, it was a good choice.

All that being said, I was embarrassed for Sam once his name was announced. His very first word on the podium was exactly what I said while witnessing the Sims’ spectacle…. “wow”

Billy acted as if he was in the middle of one of the BBQ shacks, not at the Heisman Trophy Awards Ceremony.

…and the smile on Urban’s face told what he was thinking…

@ blon: That’s how a lot of Georgia fans feel about Tebow.

As for me, I’ve seen enough Georgia fans who don’t quite live up to the standards of decent behavior that I’ve given up on feeling better about myself for my football affiliations. As an addendum, they are no better or worse than Florida’s or Auburn’s or – gulp – Alabama’s. So I’m not participating in self-loathing, just matter-of-fact-y-ness.

There were several Alabama fans at the airport cheering the Chizik arrival…

Finally found something to capture the collective feeling of the Bama nation on the Chizik hire.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=4pXfHLUlZf4

As a Sooner born and Sooner alum, even I was embarrassed by Sims’ chants. And I thought Colt should’ve won the award. Congrats to all three for great seasons. It’s not many years you have three to pick from like that.

So that is what Meadow Soprano is doing in Witness Relocation!

1. “Billy acted as if he was in the middle of one of the BBQ shacks, not at the Heisman Trophy Awards Ceremony.”

Now you see why we think so highly of OU. The rivalry is past personal. Just take a trip to that god-forsaken state. Imagine millions of Billy Sims…

Oh, come on # 21

I’ve spent a lot of time in and around Tulsa….Broken Arrow specifically, and can’t say anything negative about any of the people I’ve met there.

All very nice people, especially the very cute waitress at Outback that made one particular business trip very, very memorable….

…but there’s WAY better BBQ in OK than at “Billy Sims BBQ”

Drive in OK with a Texas plate. You might get a different greeting.

Granted Auburns new hire is baffling. But it can’t hold a candle (or a drink,credit card or hooker) to Mike Price.Roll Tide Roll (over baby)

1. - Bama hired Price a few weeks before his team played in the Rose Bowl, after Alabama’s coach bolted mid-December during probation.

Chizik was hired as an alternative to one of the most successful coaches Auburn’s ever had. On purpose. Over guys who’ve coached teams to winning records. After a 10 game losing streak.

Chizik = more baffling hire

If there’s an Alabama equivalent, it’s Bill Curry, who we hired over Bobby Bowden. Curry had a losing record at Georgia Tech, but was at least coming off of a bowl game.

The funniest part of this whole thing with Auburn and Chizik is sitting back and watching Bama fans point and snicker…or just point and roll around on the floor and laugh uncontrollably.

The irony of the whole situation for me as an outside observer is that just a couple of years ago Alabama fans were the ones looking down the barrel of a loaded shotgun. Mal Moore gets on a jet in the final hour and he is either coming back with Nick Saban or he is coming back in a body bag and Alabama is toast.

I can see now why the south lost the civil war…lots of people with passion and a willingness to fight the war (soldiers), but no one worth a shit to lead them in battle.

“matter-of-fact-y-ness”…I like it.

TAFKatsOSUB -

Given how well received your general commentary is, you might want to reconsider bringing the Civil War into this. There are plenty of Southerners still raw about that one. (I’m not one of them, I’m just sayin’…)

TAFKasTOSUB,

You left out the part where Moore came back Saban, no?

TAFKB

That’s a staggering display of ignorance, even for you.

The War Between the States.

@28 my friends in the 30030 refer to it as “the war of northern aggression”. As for TAFKasTOSUB, that last lin can only be considered one thing. bait.

Sir,

I take exception to the inclusion of the words “body bag,” “Civil War,” and “leaders” used in the same commentary.

Your m. ob. svnt,

U.S. Grant

hiccup

Not trying to start a “Fergit Hell!” threadjack, but no one can blame the outcome of the Late Unpleasantness on poor military leadership. There’s a half dozen serious reasons for the result, and none of them have much to do with military leadership that outthought and outfought a much larger and better equipped force for much of the conflict.

@31

Don’t forget that some tend to refer to it as “The War of Northern Aggression”

@ 26. This ignorance cannot go unchecked.

The Southern Generals have been universally recognized by military historians as the cream of the crop. Prussia, France, and England all sent liaison officers to follow the South’s major generals and send back dispatches for study. German Generals like Heinz Guderian and Erich von Manstein studied Southern leadership as part of their professional studies. Hell, even Patton was a fan.

And contrary to your brain-shit, the SEC continues to have top notch leadership in the coaching position. Saban was just awarded coach of the year. Meyer is not bad either, and he is preparing to win his second national championship in what is becoming the annual “Watch the Big 12/10 Shit the Bed against a far superior team” BCSNCG.

Long live Gene “Krystal” Chizik

@36

Remind me again where Nick Saban, Les Miles, and Urban Meyer cut their teeth? What about Bob Stoops and Tressel…all born and raised in Ohio, with the exception of Saban who went to college in Ohio and was an assistant at Ohio State.

For the 3rd straight year, both coaches coaching in the National Championship game were born and raised in Ohio.

With regards to college football, the state of Ohio is the cradle of coaches…more championship caliber coaches were born and raised in Ohio than just about any other state…I don’t have official numbers, but one can query the Internet and learn more about the number of coaches to come from Ohio.

Please name me the last head football coach born and raised in the state of Alabama who lead a team to a National Championship or NFL Championship. Rush Propst? Never mind that was High School.

Don Shula, Paul Brown, Woody Hayes, Bobby Knight, Lou Holtz, and the list goes on and on…William Tecumseh Sherman!

Great leaders, great men.

1. Bobby Bowden, Shug Jordan, Vince Dooley, Danny Ford. Erk Russell also bears mention.

@ 38. Thanks for picking that one up. that was almost too easy. Apparently someone missed the Maxwell, etc. awards show where Bobby Bowden spent 20 minutes talking about learning everything from the Bear…

I wonder if Chris Rainey realizes that a white wife will keep him from a top coaching position…?

Mike Duboise, Mike Shula, Mike Price, Dennis Franchione, Bill Curry. A series of coaching hires that make Auburns hire look pretty good, at least he hasn’t had time to prove what he can do. WE KNOW WHAT THE PREVIOUS BAMA HIRES PRODUCED. I think Alabama fans need to see a doctor, I believe they are suffering from premature ejaculation. I think their problem will be solved when Saban is due to move on,he’s halfway to his 4 year average. Oh, and Thanks to coach Curry for letting Pat Dye get the AU-UA game Home and Home. Let the bricks fall where they may.

@36

Sorry, but your wrong about that. Lee et al. fought the wrong war with the wrong army. That doesn’t make them great, that just makes them losers. (And nice job of citing other losers who followed their examples) Grant and Sherman identified their strengths and fought wars that utilized those strengths. Patton emmulated Sherman, not Lee.

But, you can say that the Big10 coaches look more like uniformly like Grant with big hulking teams that are essentially meat grinders while the SEC coaches mix and match with what they have at hand…Meyer looks like Sherman while Saban runs a meat grinder. Both types can win but faced with the other a coach has to know how to be flexible and figure out a way to dicate the battle to their strengths like Grant and Sherman…Lee never was able to do that and was only successful against inferior opponents…see OSU versus Big 10 and Miami…but not against SEC.

@ 38

4. Wow! Bobby Bowden runs one of the historically corrupt programs in the country…how many guys were suspended for the bowl game last year, 36? They didn’t call it Free Shoes University for no reason. Are the other 3 still living?

Research the history…there is no comparison when it comes to football in ohio vs. football in alabama in terms of coaches produced, history, and tradition.

1. I still say a Buckeye looks like an asshole. The only tradition OSU has is consistantly being overrated and getting their ass beat. What is their record against the SEC? Oklahoma is similar as of late, backing into Championship games they don’t deserve to be in and getting waxed. The gators will show them again this year and we’ll see who the Heisman winner should have been. If you are going to run that mouth at least have some REAL facts to back up that bullshit. Yeah, You are right about the tradition, OSU can choke on the big one better than most. Do you know what a Yankee and a Hemmorroid have in common? They both come down but they won’t go back up!!

TAFKASDF

Just answering the question you posed since you apparently couldn’t. You should be very proud to be from such an awesome football terrarium as Ohio. Do you feel that the football superiority of Ohians is genetic or environmentaly based? If genetic, do you think the coaching gene is somehow connected to the cooler-shitting one?

“He is ditching a “loyal” alma mater that after the best season in its history only was offering Hoke $400,000 and his assistants a 3% pay raise. Doesn’t quite live up to $750,000 and San Diego weather.”

The weather, I will grant you.

The $400 salary offer was a $160K raise in base salary (approximately 67 percent) after just getting a 50 percent raise after a 7-6 season last year. At a school without BCS-level resources, a large fan base or a major local corporate base to draw from. A school, that by the way, just had to tell all of its employees that their budgets would be cut by the state this year and that hiring and salaries are frozen.

(Oh, and neither here nor there, but there ain’t much difference between $400K in Muncie and $700K in San Diego in terms of real dollars, when cost of living is figured in. Unless you can monetize avoiding crappy Midwest winters…)

The assistant’s salaries were reportedly a sticking point, but apparently he also kept those assistants entirely in the dark about his plans, too, so that’s looking more and more like a bargaining ploy.

Don’t buy what Whitlock’s selling on this one. He has his own personal agenda at work, and it has nothing to do with the health of the football program.