BILLY SIMS CRASHES A FIRST BIRTHDAY PARTY

Nice. Still hittin’ the drank, eh?

You’re damn right we are.

Notice Bradford’s horribly uncomfortable “sooner” to try to get him to shut up. It’s like the awkward moment when the drunk redneck who sees you in your alabama hat yells “ROW TODD” at you in the wal-mart. You feel obligated to answer him, but also embarrassed to be associated with him.

Sitting in the library, surrounded by assholes, trying to cram an entire year’s worth of macro, and I get this. Thank you, sir, may I please have another? After I take this exam I’m pounding a bottle of Tussin.

I have to agree with Billy Sims that the wife is bored and paranoid.

You just described in surprisingly accurate detail my son’s first birthday party. Billy Sims wasn’t there, but enough surly Scots-Irish relatives were. Ahhh, memories…

I nearly dropped a boomer myself trying to keep from laughing out loud in my cubicle.

Tickle not kill!!

this is my new mantra for the week

#3,

I’m gonna have to start correcting everyone on this: drunk rednecks don’t say “Todd” or “Tahd.”

Actually, they really stress the long “i” in Tide.

Similarly, those of the Barn persuasion, say “Wore Dayum Iggle.”

This is why I read EDSBS everyday. When I was watching the show, I knew this was going to be featured.

Billy Sims was a beast on the field and has earned every accolade he ever received. He also has apparently never learned that old adage about “acting like you’ve been there before.” Something’s not right when the brand spankin’ new Heisman winner seems embarrassed to take the stage lest he have to acknowledge the loud man screaming at no one in particular.

“Then Billy’s gonna have to drop a Boomer sooner rather than later in your toilet before he leaves, because his intestines run a triple option of run, shoot, and scoot on him when he ingests even a trace amount of sugar alcohols.”

…..coffee and snot all over my work space, thank Orson

Thanks for making my Monday interesting, Orson. I laughed.

This is such a message board cliche, but I don’t care….

one of my co-workers just asked what I was laughing about and I had to make something up.

Holy shit that was funny.

Between this and Chizik, I might just go home and try again tomorrow.

War Eagle? Might as well start saying fucking War Dodo.

If only Tebow or McCoy had won and Simms had still insisted on behaving accordingly.

Do you think he shouts “BOOMER” while making sweet love to his bride?

/ happy thoughts for the day.

This only thing missing was having Sims attempt to kiss Suzie Kolber on camera!

It might be kind of funny to speculate on what past Hypesman winners would do in a similar state of euphoria as Mr. Sims seemed to be in that night.

Like, if McCoy had won, what would Ricky Williams do? I’m sensing something like lighting up a fat blunt or something while reciting some crazy George Harrison song lyrics. I don’t know.

It makes your stomach turn just watching it again. He has some slightly worse than terrible BBQ restaurants in the Tulsa area and his commercials say, “Remember, it’s not Bar-B-Cue, it’s Boomer-Cue!”

And I ask, “WTF is Boomer-Cue?” Does it taste like embarrassment and jack-assery?"

@18

…hidden camera footage of Ricky Williams in the restroom at the New York Marriott Marquis in Times Square last Saturday night….

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=57DdviStOFo

…which led to LSD with The Beatles….

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tKGBTCowyEw

Billy Sims busts through doors. Marky M busts through walls. Game, set, match.

I was just waiting for the Kansas Rhymenocerous to come in and regalate. Too bad.

I am slightly frightened by the look on Urbans face over Bradfords shoulder before you even play the video.

OS,

I thought my Sooners had gained an edge in the fan jackassery department with the Tebow rap.

I was wrong.

If anything, Florida now has the edge since Billy Simms isn’t just some redneck fan with internet access, but is actually a Heisman winning bona fide Sooner legend.

Unfortunately, this is not out of the ordinary, since he not only did this with Jason White, but if you’re eating at his terrible BBQ restaurant and he’s there, he will come to your table and yell “Boomer.” I’m not kidding.

TICKLE NOT KILL!!!!

So the hypothetical rugrat is baby Willie Martinez?

This is the greatest thing that’s happened to me all week. And I got a tugjob from a one-eyed Turkish waitress yesterday morning.

This just topped the Turkish waitress. Barely.

HOLY CRAP!! Did Sam get mugged in NYC or what? Anyone see him on ESPN today?

JINX in FULL EFFECT! WOOO HOOOO!!

poor lil’ fella looks all tuckered out already….hang in there cupcake, only 5,482,850,973 more interviews before Jan 8th.

http://sports.espn.go.com/broadband/video/videopage?videoId=3770444

There aren’t many ways to improve this post, but just a little hint of Marky M certainly couldn’t have hurt. I’m just being greedy though…

yeah its a little embarrassing, but i’ve met him in person and he seemed cool, hopefully he just likes to get loaded on his yearly trip to NYC and yell stuff.
I bet he yells boomer at New yorkers on the street and they cower in fear of his drunken rage like he was the cloverfield monster. (hint hint LSU freek)

shaky cam and all

Brilliant: the balance among insufferable wife, suffering husband, atavistic baby, and billy sims is a most excellent cocktail.

I"ve been on here for over three years and that was the absolute funniest thing I have ever read on this site> Thanks Orson as I anticipate Purple Drank flying out of my nose every time I hear “triple option” during the Beeees bowl game> Brilliant!!!

As an Oklahoma fan, I absolutely agree with this depiction. Switzer plays up his stereotype a bit, but he’s not really that bad (unless you let your wife around him). Now, Simms…that’s different. I’ve met the guy twice, still have my hearing, and, yes, he’s a big fan of attention. He seemed like a nice guy, but nice guys can be attention grabbing ass-hat’d crap-faces too. As an OU alumn, I was mortified.

TICKLE NOT KILL!!!

I really hope I won’t have to utter those words on Jan. 8th.