EDSBS » Archive » KNOCK, KNOCK. WHO’S THERE? GENE CHIZIK, RECRUITING IN THE SAME STATE AS NICK SABAN.

December 13, 2008

KNOCK, KNOCK. WHO’S THERE? GENE CHIZIK, RECRUITING IN THE SAME STATE AS NICK SABAN.

Everything’s gonna be fine now. You’ll see.

Filed under: Alabama man! he can drink he can bowl he can drink some, Southeastern Conference, allons-y SEC, coaching coup, your worst nightmares by Holly

[ 110 Replies ]

110 Responses to “KNOCK, KNOCK. WHO’S THERE? GENE CHIZIK, RECRUITING IN THE SAME STATE AS NICK SABAN.”

1

OrangeGator says:

Um…is it April already and no one bothered to tell us?

December 13th, 2008 at 5:23 pm
2

Holly says:

Ssshhhh. Just laugh with us. AND LAUGH AND LAUGH AND LAUGH BECAUSE THIS MAGNITUDE OF HILARITY WILL NOT SOON COME AGAIN.

December 13th, 2008 at 5:27 pm
3

Etch Westgrin says:

I can’t even hate those guys any more.
That’s just … sad/pathetic.

December 13th, 2008 at 5:28 pm
4

Kyrana says:

I thought this honestly had to be a joke. Then I read that it’s more than likely true. But it’s still a joke, and the joke is on Auburn.

December 13th, 2008 at 5:33 pm
5

OrangeGator says:

I was laughing, Holly, until I realized they’ll still inexplicably kick our asses at the worst possible time, especially since Chizik is an alum…

December 13th, 2008 at 5:35 pm
6

RIP Logan Young says:

You could add up all the stupid shit ‘Bama has done for its entire history, and it would look like a rabbit pellet next to the giant patty of cow dung Auburn just served up. Unbelievable.

December 13th, 2008 at 5:36 pm
7

Big Red says:

My favorite part of the press release is when they reveal his 2 year record at Iowa St. was 5-19. What a joke.

I assume it’s inappropriate to make jokes about keeping it in the Auburn family? Hooray inbreeding!

December 13th, 2008 at 5:40 pm
8

Techie says:

Wow, I’ve always enjoyed a good trainwreck.

Surely, they talked to Turner Gill, maybe he copped to being a Bills fan.

December 13th, 2008 at 5:44 pm
9

Lazy Media says:

WTF? Could they not get Bill Lewis’ phone number? Or Rip Scherer’s?

I was prepared to laugh at them if they hired Patrick Nix, but this, this…this is astounding. Almost too shocking to be funny. ALMOST.

Your 2010 Auburn head coach: Howard Schnellenberger.

December 13th, 2008 at 5:44 pm
10

Doug says:

Here’s another one:

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Owen.

Owen who?

Owen eight in Big 12 play, in a year when they didn’t have Texas, Oklahoma, or Texas Tech on the schedule. Boiiiinnggg!

December 13th, 2008 at 6:04 pm
11

WarDamnEagle says:

FUCK. Just… FUCK.

December 13th, 2008 at 6:04 pm
12

Counter Trap says:

The cure for 36-0, Dracula’s been there anemic offense and revolving door coordinators is a guy who is 5-19 as a head coach, was a defensive coordinator AND just fired his coordinators at ISU.

Congrats, AU–welcome to the cellar. There is no light and try to get used to the smell.

December 13th, 2008 at 6:11 pm
13

The Bull Gator says:

If any story deserves the picture of the train crashing through the station, it’s this one.

December 13th, 2008 at 6:17 pm
14

Techie says:

That’s their trump card? THAT’s the ace in the hole?

What, did Turner Gill not return their phone calls? Hell, Bobby Ross might come out of retirement again. At least he’s won an MNC in the past.

Orson, if this is how the AU AD works now, just thank your lucky stars Charlie Strong didn’t get sucked into the morass.

December 13th, 2008 at 6:19 pm
15

plastic paddy says:

{{In my best Nelson Muntz voice}}

Ha Ha!

December 13th, 2008 at 6:21 pm
16

frinklin says:

Man, I feel much better about Steve Sarkisian now. Thanks Auburn! Let me tell you how much fun a winless year is…

December 13th, 2008 at 6:25 pm
17

DrB says:

Damn Auburn fans.

Dont jump.

December 13th, 2008 at 6:32 pm
18

kleph says:

you know how there are things so bad that you wouldn’t wish them on your worst enemy? this isn’t one but it’s as close to the line as it is possible to get.

even under the “shula” theory this makes no sense. auburn is not facing the disarray and ncaa whipping stick like bama was in 2003. this smacks of an HC vs AD power struggle and most likely will end in destruction and tears.

December 13th, 2008 at 6:32 pm
19

Sherlock's Sidekick says:

Will Chizik’s real estate agent even bother removing the for sale sign? Maybe he’ll just rent.

December 13th, 2008 at 6:41 pm
20

sonofsamford says:

Looks like we decided to go full retard for this hire.

Are you not entertained?!?!?!

December 13th, 2008 at 6:43 pm
21

This is Your Captain Speaking says:

Judas Priest…I…I…I’ve got…nothing. This is worse than Barfield.

[/Weeps softly into his scotch glass]

December 13th, 2008 at 6:57 pm
22

Studley says:

Jimmy Sexton is a master hypnotist. This confirms it.

December 13th, 2008 at 7:05 pm
23

DC Trojan says:

You’d think that Auburn FC were *trying* to get relegated.

(Off-topic: what the hell was that video above? I thought I’d caught up on all obscure soft rock hits of the 1970s.)

December 13th, 2008 at 7:11 pm
24

Wolverine in Exile says:

in all seriousness, this prompts a question for college footbal researchers… when was the last time a perennial college football power (keep it BCS conferences if you have to) hired a coach with a losing record the previous season? two seasons?

Somebody tried to say Dennis Erickson at a similar discussion at mgoblog.com, but even Erickson was 9-3 at Wash St the year before he was hired at Miami

December 13th, 2008 at 7:16 pm
25

Ninja Football says:

@20:

“Everybody knows you never go Full Retard……Tom Hanks- Forrest Gump. Slow, yes, retarded maybe, braces on his legs; but he charmed the pants off Nixon and won the ping pong competition- that ain’t retarded. You went full retard man. Never go Full Retard.”

Forrest was a Bama fan. Coincidence? I think not.

December 13th, 2008 at 7:19 pm
26

Zone Left says:

@8/14, there may have been something else wrong with Turner Gill…remember that Charlie Strong didn’t get an interview either.

Love that Deep South. Ugh.

December 13th, 2008 at 7:27 pm
27

Walt says:

Gaaah! I hear the runner-up for the job was Stan Brock, but 3-9 at Army meant he was better qualified.

If you’re Turner Gill, are you heaving a huge sigh of relief that you’ve avoided this mess — the Auburn family makes the Bundys look like the Cleavers.

December 13th, 2008 at 7:28 pm
28

Signal to Noise says:

War Damn EagLOLe.

You know your coaching search his hit EPIC FAIL when Mississippi State does it better than you do.

Jacobs will be on a plane trying to lure Bobby Petrino out of U-Pig within 2 years. Mark my words.

December 13th, 2008 at 7:31 pm
29

Coach Shiznet says:

I’m in complete disbelief that AU is doing this to themselves. They should have given Tubbs FULL control. Instead the AU money men are playing ego control at the expense of the football program. Sad.

December 13th, 2008 at 7:39 pm
30

Traveling Light says:

Schadenfreude [shahd-n-froi-duh] -noun-
“satisfaction or pleasure felt at someone else’s misfortune”

Sometimes, as a Gamecock fan, this is all I get to look forward to. Jay Jacobs, I salute you. Thanks for making my weekend.

December 13th, 2008 at 7:46 pm
31

SpartanDan says:

I’d ask what Auburn’s AD was thinking, but that assumes they were thinking at all. Probably a bad assumption.

December 13th, 2008 at 8:11 pm
32

Holly says:

@DCT–it’s called “Laughter in the Rain.” It seemed to fit the moment.

December 13th, 2008 at 8:19 pm
33

NewAZTiger says:

Gene ChiZOOK.

Fuck.

December 13th, 2008 at 8:27 pm
34

WarCardinals says:

My favorite line from Superbad seems to fit me right now:

“Fuck my life.”

December 13th, 2008 at 8:50 pm
35

Millon de Floss says:

Talk about “failing upwards”. Wow.

December 13th, 2008 at 8:54 pm
36

Studley says:

THIS JUST IN: Sam Bradford wins the Heisman.

We return you to regular programming.

December 13th, 2008 at 8:58 pm
37

InsaneCoachPosse says:

well, I think Iowa State paying Auburn a couple of million to take Chizik off their hands makes perfect sense….

wait a minute………………………..

no way………………………

jeeezus, I have heard of “rebound romances” being wrong, but this is waaaay wrong

maybe Chizik agreed to have audio implants so the “imperial Auburn consortium” can tell him what to say, plays to call, coaches to hire, etc….. kind of like creating your own real life video game… or the greatest puppet show on earth

cuz, hiring this guy for a HC is just this side of paying ND the 100million buyout for Pear Bryant stupid

jeeeeezus

December 13th, 2008 at 9:00 pm
38

Graysnail says:

@ Signal: I just assume this means negotiations with Petrino are still ongoing. Chizik will get busted down to DC once Petrino comes on board.

December 13th, 2008 at 9:01 pm
39

Seven Years in Gainesville says:

Brandon Spikes is Sam Bradford im watchin you win you HEISEMAN trophy! Spikes likes HEISMANS!

December 13th, 2008 at 9:04 pm
40

Dazed and Confused says:

WTF? This – THIS – is what that fuckstick Jay Jacobs gives us loyal Auburn fans for Christmas? I am too stunned to even cry. My husband is an LSU man – maybe he will let me borrow one of his tshirts to wear during football season so no one will make fun of me. The school that gets Turner Gill is blessed – I hope that they schedule Auburn and kick our asses. THEN maybe the governor of our fine state will wise up, get Bobby Lowder off the BOT, and get someone in there to fire Jay Jacob’s sorry ass. Not ONE of those men deserve to call themselves an Auburn man. NOT. ONE. Chizik. Fuck.

December 13th, 2008 at 9:08 pm
41

PW says:

Look for a couple of coaches in the next season or two to get “Chizik’d” as a loss to him will definitely be a fireable offense.

December 13th, 2008 at 9:09 pm
42

Yinka Double Dare says:

Well, now we know where the Muschamp rumors came from…

“Hey, a source told me Auburn is hiring its former defensive coordinator as the coach. Woo, BOOM MOTHERFUCKER!”

“Oh, wait, you mean that OTHER former defensive coordinator that just went 0-8 in the Big 12 despite dodging the three best teams in the conference? Shit.”

December 13th, 2008 at 9:55 pm
43

jakldawg says:

Seems like the natives are restless.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f7TxIMAwc1k

December 13th, 2008 at 9:58 pm
44

Signal to Noise says:

@Graysnail – doesn’t he have a “no SEC West moves” clause in his contract? Eh, it’s Bobby Petrino. He’ll find a way around it.

Several hours later, and this is still FREAKING HILARIOUS. We are so lucky to get such comedic value from this completely nuts athletic department.

(If you’re an Auburn fan, I just….well…..damn.)

December 13th, 2008 at 10:51 pm
45

Mich-Placed Gator says:

“BOOMAH….

BOOMAH….

BOOMAH…

BOOMAH…

BOOMAH…

BOOMAH…

BOOMAH…

….sooner or later, we’re gonna get cha”

…..what, get us to believe you’ve lost your mind?

Congrats to Sam….clearly Bradford should have won the Heisman, because an overwhelmingly large portion of the sportswriters of America picked him 2nd or 3rd! ; )

Congrats to Tim for getting the most 1st place votes.

Now we’ll see who the real “Most Outstanding Player” is Jan 8th.

Game On, bitches!

December 13th, 2008 at 10:54 pm
46

TAFKastOSUB says:

I am speachless. You paid 5.1 Million Dollars to Tommy Tubberville to leave so that you could make room for Gene Chizik? Are you fricking kidding me?

Once Spurrier leaves South Carolina and Les Miles runs completely out of Nick Saban players (oops…already happened), the SEC can get back to the big 2 and everyone else….sound familiar?

I guess everyone in the SEC thought that all 12 teams would win a National Championship in the same year…lol.

December 13th, 2008 at 11:06 pm
47

Mr.Pelican Pants says:

I am Nick Saban, and I approve this hire……..LOL, which reminds me, did Nick Saban actually pull some Jedi Mind Trick and get this guy hired? He has powers that I cannot comprehend….Auburn needed a big splash….and this aint it…..
Auburn fans will hijack the jet carrying Jizzik, and will slowly become the next 3rd world country engulfed in insurgency against itself……Has there ever been a university president and its board of directors held hostage? in a standoff? how about shot at twenty paces while blindfolded? I dont know if I can make fun of my opponent anymore since the comedy coming out of that place is just too easy of a target, like shootin fish in a barrel….Good on ya Barners, after the past 6 yrs, ya had it comin………..

December 13th, 2008 at 11:24 pm
48

Three Days of Orange says:

TAFKastOSUB: I guess everyone in the SEC thought that all 12 teams would win a National Championship in the same year�lol.

Hey, maybe the Buckeyes will win a post-season game this year since they won’t be playing an SEC team…

December 13th, 2008 at 11:37 pm
49

Mich-Placed Gator says:

Coming To Stores Jan 9, 2009….

http://i301.photobucket.com/albums/nn53/zrdan/Boomer_Glue.jpg

December 13th, 2008 at 11:52 pm
50

Aubs eat boogs says:

http://www.firejayjacobs.com/

December 14th, 2008 at 12:11 am
51

Geoff says:

Shula Part Deux.
Except this time the laugh is on Auburn.
When he upsets someone (and he will) will will we say they got Jizz’d?

December 14th, 2008 at 12:20 am
52

vegas_buckeye says:

LSUFreek needs to work his magic on the scene in Blazing Saddles when the sheriff rides into town and everyone realizes he’s Chizick.

December 14th, 2008 at 12:41 am
53

cyclonestate says:

Dear auburn fans, we here in ames, iowa laugh at your plight. thanks for showing us who gene chizik really is, because he had us all believing he was a man of integrity.

now we can get a formidable head coach like turner gill, brian kelly, mike singletary, or DITKA! one can dream…

in chizik’s defense, ISU is a career killer. look at what johnny majors did at ISU vs. what he did after he left.

December 14th, 2008 at 1:34 am
54

BrooklynGator says:

Dear Auburn,
Welcome to your very own [NAME REDACTED] period.

Love,
UF class of 2003 thru 2005.

PS, enjoy copious losses at home

December 14th, 2008 at 1:43 am
55

Geaux Irish says:

Auburn Football: Trying our best to the be next year’s version of the ‘08 U-Dub Huskies.

December 14th, 2008 at 2:21 am
56

Spooky Juice says:

CHIZIK NICKELS ALL AROUND!!!!!!

December 14th, 2008 at 2:34 am
57

kt says:

I want to throw up, cuss, hit something….

Un-freaking-believable…..

December 14th, 2008 at 5:34 am
58

karlhungus says:

I just want someone to explain to me what the Auburn “leadership” sees in this guy that nobody else in the entire fucking world sees. He is a good DC to be sure, but that seems to be the extent of his abilities. I am just shocked at this hire. I wonder if the AD expected this kind of reaction of they actually thought people would be happy. It’s like opening your Chirstmas present and getting a smelly dog turd while everybody else in the neighborhood got the hottest new toy.

December 14th, 2008 at 7:18 am
59

InsaneCoachPosse says:

looks like the criterion used by Auburn was the following:
- head coach experience
- SEC experience
- some relationship to winning in the SEC
- Caucasian DNA

when the following should have been pushed to the top:
- recruits players like an Al Qaeda hynotist
- has a WINNING record as a head coach
- already knows who will be his offensive coordinator
- someone who at the very least can start off with a neutral attitude from the alumni/supporters… having Chizik booed when he emerges from an airplane will cause more laughter than having a drunk lady kiss him

December 14th, 2008 at 7:33 am
60

Geaux Irish says:

Wow, if Auburn thinks a successful coach is one that went 5-19 over the last two years, then I wonder why AU didn’t try to hireCharlie Weis with his stupendous 9-15 record over the same period?

December 14th, 2008 at 8:18 am
61

Bama Bonzo says:

Let the affectionate annoying appellation tryouts begin!

Adios Tubby, Wingnut, Tommy Tater Town, Tubs, TT Boy, Beaker.

Bienvenidos Cheesedick, Cheezedip, ChiZook (credit @ 33), Gene Paltry, Cheezestick, GC Comix (my favorite), McGirk Head.

December 14th, 2008 at 8:18 am
62

NewAZTiger says:

Fuck.

A 10 game losing streak and a worse record at ISU than his predecessor.

Fuck.

As one of my Alabama friends said, there are hires that your school makes that make football a Bourbon drinking sport only. This is one of those hires.

Well, Buffalo holds the record for the two longest losing streaks in Div 1a history. Maybe we can break those records.

December 14th, 2008 at 8:22 am
63

Gen good says:

Brilliant! Auburn, you sly fox! How do you get someone as good as Saban? You shoot yourself in the foot, put your program in complete disarray and wait for darkest point to hire a great coach. Auburn, my hat is off to you. You saw how Alabama did it and you have set the wheels in motion. Brilliant. Sick for the next decade but know that a Saban caliber couch is waiting on the other end. Genius!!!

December 14th, 2008 at 8:27 am
64

jacketexan says:

ISU should hire Tuberville. I’d put money that if they did, ISU would have more wins than AU after two seasons.

Tubs should take it just to stick it in AU’s eye.

December 14th, 2008 at 9:15 am
65

sonofsamford says:

Auburn needs to change the tail number of the jet from N20RU to FAIL1.

December 14th, 2008 at 9:50 am
66

Lazy Media says:

I see someone has already reserved firechizik.com. I expect content will not be a problem once it goes live.

December 14th, 2008 at 10:12 am
67

Studley says:

ICP @ 58 – Looks like the Auburn jet just landed in Ames to pick him up, after diverting to Des Moines (likely for weather). I would have figured a flight under the cover of darkness, so we’ll see that reaction in daylight after all.

http://flightaware.com/live/flight/N20RU

December 14th, 2008 at 10:48 am
68

Mr.Pelican Pants says:

Hey, Alabama fans are rolling Toomers Corner in celebration of Gene Chizik!
http://forums.tidesports.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/3631098265/m/4101056618/p/4

December 14th, 2008 at 11:03 am
69

BurritoBrosShits says:

Yeah….. Its still fucking hilarious.

December 14th, 2008 at 11:11 am
70

Mr.Pelican Pants says:

Guys, you can compare and contrast Alabama fans reaction with the hiring of Nick Saban….overall, Bama fans were “Hell Yeah!”, while the Auburn fans reacting on their blogs are found here:
http://blog.al.com/auburnbeat/2008/12/auburn_officially_confirms_chi.html

The best one: “Can they de-confirm this, I have died at least one thousand times since the announcement.”

Scroll down and read them all, besides the former AU players spewing the party line about how its a good hire.

December 14th, 2008 at 11:18 am
71

Geori says:

As someone completely unaffiliated with AU, this is the worst hire I’ve seen since Washington hired Ty Willingham. And it is probably worse, making this the worst hire of the decade. I challenge the readers to name a worse hire this decade. It wasn’t Zook, who was an NFL coordinator and a risk that might have worked. Rather than taking a risk, Auburn and UW hired someone who wasnt just mediocre (ala Tommy Bowden), but had already been a complete failure at the HC level. However, at least Willingham won at Stanford and one year at ND, prior to going to Washington. Furthermore, they hired a defensive guy when Auburn’s problems came solely from the offense. It is an epic failure of biblical proportions.

December 14th, 2008 at 11:45 am
72

Merry Christmas BAMA - Love, Auburn says:

In related news, Alabama Head Coach Nick Saban was rushed to the hospital last night with breathing difficulties related to uncontrollable maniacal laughter…

December 14th, 2008 at 12:03 pm
73

CapstoneAlum says:

This is might be the funniest thing I have heard in a long time..

http://blog.al.com/bamabeat/2008/12/coming_to_bryantdenny_the_fail.html

I thought AU had already named Chizik’s new office this though..

December 14th, 2008 at 12:20 pm
74

wdamne says:

5-19. Five and nineteen. The horror… the horror… the horror.

December 14th, 2008 at 12:25 pm
75

Des Loines says:

Anyone who wants to see Chizik’s in-game coaching should watch the third quarter of their game against Iowa this year. The cyclone had 3 possessions in Iowa territory, and two trips to the red zone. They scored 3 points. There were multiple penalties for delay of games, and the plays were in late. Look at the UNLV game, where multiple unsportsmanlike penalties cost ISU the game. They were up by 20 against Kansas, but found a way to lose.

December 14th, 2008 at 12:32 pm
76

George W. Bush says:

I think its a good hire. I would have done the same thing.

December 14th, 2008 at 1:53 pm
77

Signal to Noise says:

Checking in….BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA. Gene Fuckin’ Chizik, head coach at Auburn. It just makes me laugh uncontrollably.

I don’t know how the hell Herbstreit could say it’s a great hire with a straight face:

http://sports.espn.go.com/broadband/video/videopage?categoryId=2378529&brand=null&videoId=3768045&n8pe6c=2

December 14th, 2008 at 2:28 pm
78

www.southbendblarney.com says:

Probably a decision based on the fact that AU isn’t exactly the most coveted job out there…

Iowa St. is a bad program, but I would think you would have to still do a decent job (not 5-19) to move on to a bigger program…

December 14th, 2008 at 2:33 pm
79

Mark says:

Folks…you just don’t understand. A two year record of 5-19 in Ames is successful, and takes a Herculean effort just to reach that plateau.

Most coaches don’t leave there with their careers intact.

December 14th, 2008 at 2:37 pm
80

Wes says:

Oh God. Kill me now. Kill me now.

December 14th, 2008 at 2:57 pm
81

BurritoBrosShits says:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA He’s coming!!!!
http://flightaware.com/live/flight/N20RU
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

December 14th, 2008 at 3:01 pm
82

RIP Logan Young says:

This…this….this is priceless:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f7TxIMAwc1k

ANY OF THEM!!!!

December 14th, 2008 at 3:28 pm
83

Tater Salad says:

They couldn’t get someone they wanted, so they hired Chizik. He’ll keep a steady hand on the program for a few years but will fail. They’ll shitcan him in 3 years and hire Petrino when the buyout drops.

Just my theory.

December 14th, 2008 at 3:46 pm
84

InsaneCoachPosse says:

ohmygawdohmygawdohmygawd… I just found out why they hired Chizik for Auburn HC…..

it seems during the past year Chizik has been practicing magic tricks… and he has perfected the “reach behind your ear and find a quarter” trick to an amazingly professional level!!

Auburn hired him when he demonstrated he could do it with a hundred dollar bill just as well as a quarter…. and he said he would demonstrate the trick in front of potential recruits as many times as needed until they commited to Auburn!!!

This is amazing!! I bet Saban has to counter this by with his mental powers and convince the recruits that Auburn coaches only show them Monopoly money….

If you want to learn how Chizik does it, see this video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s3bRsL2M3MM

December 14th, 2008 at 4:49 pm
85

Blog Goliard says:

I am shocked, but not surprised, by this news.

Shocked, because it makes no sense whatsoever according to Earth logic.

Unsurprised, because I lived in Alabama long enough to know how far too many folks there think, and therefore hire. The questions “Do we know you?” and “Are you one of us?” are the primary considerations here. Only after those have narrowed the field, do the questions “Do you know what the hell you are doing?”, “Are you trustworthy and honorable?”, etc. come up.

Also, Alabamians are strict Hegelians. When they notice that a neighbor has pulled ahead of them in something, they determine that they must: a) accomplish the exact same thing, b) do so in the exact same way, carefully going through every historical step their neighbor required to get there.

For instance, when I left there around the turn of the millennium, there was a big push underway to attract pro football to Birmingham, by building a domed stadium. Delusional in any number of ways, yes…but let’s focus on the proposed building itself for now. It wasn’t a contemporary retractable-roof job, oh no…but rather the exact kind of domed stadium that they’d just blown up in Seattle, and have been dreaming of blowing up in Minneapolis.

Everyone instinctively understood that you couldn’t simply go ahead and build a 21st century stadium…you had to first build the Kingdome/Metrodome, presumably blow it up after a decent interval, and then build something that could conceivably attract an NFL team by current standards.

All this is a long-winded way of explaining why I am tempted to take seriously the theory that Auburn decided that in order to get their Saban, they must first hire their Shula.

(What? You think they might have been better off finding their own, distinct solution to the problem? That would be madness, son…)

December 14th, 2008 at 5:14 pm
86

WarCardinals says:

Somehow, this is cheering me up. Only for the 2 minute interval of it though. Then it’s back to the suicide hotline…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UfLAv3JHRwY

December 14th, 2008 at 5:42 pm
87

Croc says:

War we suck again!

December 14th, 2008 at 6:29 pm
88

Studley says:

The real fun begins in 15 minutes. The jet is 75 miles out.

http://flightaware.com/live/flight/N20RU

December 14th, 2008 at 6:41 pm
89

Studley says:

OT: 60 Minutes will have a segment with Pete Carroll hanging wit’ his peeps in da hood. But first, PIT-BAL has to somehow conclude.

December 14th, 2008 at 7:04 pm
90

Geppetto says:

I am so jealous of Jimmy Sexton.

December 14th, 2008 at 7:41 pm
91

donkeydawg says:

#85:

“Alabamians are strict Hegelians” is by far the funniest comment I’ve read on this or any other football site. I understand, of course, since us Georgia fans tend by contrast to be strict Kantians, but for Jesus.

December 14th, 2008 at 8:16 pm
92

PW says:

How ya feeling today, Orson?

December 14th, 2008 at 8:17 pm
93

Chg says:

@ 26- Too bad they couldn’t pull Charlie Strong away from that open minded Big Ten team that hired him a few years back.

December 14th, 2008 at 8:18 pm
94

donkeydawg says:

But seriously (as one clown said to another in the post-game Circus locker-room):

Aside from his other dubious virtues, I gather from Iowa sources that the new AU coach is:

–a bad judge of assistant-coaching talent;

–prone to offend the fan base (viz. his gratuitous decision to change the ISU logo to get rid of Cy); and

–a dick.

The immediate market-test, though (beyond his survival of the first week) will be recruiting. AU has apparently already lost five previous commits, and the father of the savior QB recruit Cotton sped to publicly trash this hire. And then there will be the little problem of speculation that AU refused to hire Gill (or even to consider Charlie Strong) out of inveterate racism.

With Satan sure to get another top-5 class, a uninspiring fan-averse dick with a dubious staff who’s bleeding recruits is in a really bad position, it would seem.

December 14th, 2008 at 8:31 pm
95

John says:

My God. I think Toomer’s Corner is going to look like Watts 1965 tonight.

December 14th, 2008 at 8:36 pm
96

Brian says:

We can only blame The Machine.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Machine

December 14th, 2008 at 8:44 pm
97

Hadrian's Wall - Very Gay says:

Say, Orson, have you talked to Cuddles in the past two days?

Were you the first person to break the news to him?

Most importantly, did you record the conversation for posterity?

December 14th, 2008 at 9:13 pm
98

JD says:

I can only guess that Auburn thought they were sending out for Chick-Fil-A and they got Chizik instead.

December 14th, 2008 at 11:09 pm
99

the ex-croominator says:

BWAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

*take breath*

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Okay, I’m done. But seriously, in the whole “Aubarn is doing it the way Bama did it” scheme of things, shouldn’t this be AU’s version of Mike Price? In which case, he’ll be busted with a hooker by spring, THEN they’ll hire a “Shula.” And I realized I’m not done…

BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA….

December 14th, 2008 at 11:50 pm
100

Kyrana says:

Interesting…

http://blog.al.com/bamabeat/2008/12/coming_to_bryantdenny_the_fail.html

December 15th, 2008 at 12:18 am
101

Seer says:

Dear Auburn,

What. The. Fuck?

Sincerely,
Everyone who knows what College Football is

December 15th, 2008 at 12:46 am
102

Toddly76 says:

I invested in Chizik Nickles to diversify my portfolio two years ago…BIG MISTAKE.

December 15th, 2008 at 12:49 am
103

haybeav says:

I had the most crazy dream last night. I dreamt that our biggest rival fired one of their most successful coaches of all time, and in his place, hired a sub .500 coach with 2 years experience from one of the worst football programs in all of the BCS conferences.

Opps….(Akkkkkkkwarddddd)

December 15th, 2008 at 1:31 am
104

MBD says:

What a Hindenberg hire. Looks like Auburn shit and then fell back in it.

December 15th, 2008 at 2:14 am
105

Signal to Noise says:

LSUFreek provides:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GjeNPauuqNc

And I’m still laughing.

December 15th, 2008 at 2:27 am
106

BurritoBrosShits says:

I just can’t wait to read the contract and see what kind of bullshit is locked in there. Better yet, here’s a preview of a post-game conference:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sjIuvB3Hykk&feature=related

December 15th, 2008 at 6:26 am
107

kwaj says:

Dear Everyone who knows what College Football is,

We. Don’t. Know…

Sincerely,
Auburn

December 15th, 2008 at 8:53 am
108

Domerva says:

This makes me almost happy we kept Weis…..almost.

December 15th, 2008 at 12:50 pm
109

Brian O'Blivion says:

My favorite I’ve read so far.

5-19. Is Jacobs dyslexic?

December 15th, 2008 at 5:45 pm
110

Rehnquist? says:

ESPN Connecticut Yankees, it the law to have a “No JEW” covenant on the future sale of your house or do y’all just do it out of the neighborly goodness of your hearts? Seriously, Auburn will get what they so richly deserve by not hiring Gill but Hey Syracuse!! WTF???

Anybody?

December 16th, 2008 at 12:46 am