YOUR SCHOOL'S UNIQUE AROMA

Not sure where else to note this, but there is a 2010 D-lineman recruit in GA that goes by the birth certificate name of “Tank Sessions” – I vote that whichever team he commits to is instantly in the lead Factor Six previews

“At LSU, Masik discovered Tiger fans liked to drink bourbon. Lots of it. So Masik, a chemical engineer by training, had her perfumers put a little bourbon aroma in the LSU perfume.”

Bourbon and Corn Dog? purrrrrfect

Stetson: Ahead of the curve by decades. “Available wherever cough drops and hairspray are sold.”

eAU de Stealth by Bobby Lowder
For the man who has multiple passions at one time. Bottled at half capacity so you keep guessing whether it’s half empty of half full.

I’m trying to think which one would smell the most like “Egyptian Musk”.

“Scorched Earth,” par Tyrone du Willingham…burnt pubes, shards of metal and glass and rubbing alcohol.

Your once proud and revered body will transform into foul and revolting shell, and as passersby mock you on the street you realize your life will never be the same.

I think Nick Sabans cologne would be called
“RAGE”, because once you open it and let it out, there is no putting it back in….seems to attract mainly 4 and 5 star recruits….has an aroma like a mixture of that new Mercedes leather smell, old sweaty money, with a hint of a freshly dry cleaned gray Armani suit…..not for sale in Miami….there are no commercials since Nick Saban doesnt have time to wear that shit….banned in Baton Rouge, causes rashes for Auburn fans…

@7 Bama’s is “Paco Sabanne”

Mark Richt’s Illusion.

A manly scent smelling mainly of wet dogs, starts out strong, but, unfortunately scent fades in the end.
Distributed by Dalton Carpets of Georgia

Resurrection, by Rich Rodriguez

Drives off any long time admirers with its disappointing early freshness, but finishes with a hint of scorched hillbilly. Fast, skinny, white boys who enjoy concussions are attracted, then repelled, then attracted, then in limbo, then you stop caring.

Eau de Cincinnati – The fragrance is heavenly, but very, very, very short lived. Transcends coaches.

Austin dave @ 8 – +1, early-80s LOL.

eau d’ DickRod – snake oil, a hint of burning sofa. Comes in a wizard-hat bottle. $4MM for the right to purchase.

Enlightenment, by Pete Carroll – brings complete self-actualization with each application. Each bottle is hand-delivered by Pete in a white van between 2-5am. Free, man, ‘cause that’s how it should be.

Fragrance de Nutt
A heavily agressive scent, this is most effective when the lady in your life is at the pont of being “unable to put up with any more of your $hi+” It’s a concoction of four leaf clover, horeshoe and particels from actual shooting stars which when worn in November never fails to leave her satisfied enough to carry on another season.

Except when she falls under the spell of Parfume de Petrino.

Odor of Orgeron….

Smells like new Humma’ interior with a hint of jumbalya and fried pickle. Causes men to rip their shirts off right in front of you, women to lose 50 points off their IQ

Sold mostly in Louisiana, one or two stores still stocking it in Mississippi

oh I could do this all day…

“Dreams” by NotreDame

basically just popper in a perfume bottle, causes TV execs to swoon at your feet and alumni to believe they are national champions every year.

What, no Howard Schellenberger cologne? I imagine it would have strong odor of gun powder and scotch with a slight scent of mustache wax.

Lane Kiffin’s Essence – Has no identifiable smell of its own, but is brilliantly packaged and comes with a complementary four-oz. bottle of “Monte’s Water,” indistinguishable from Old Spice.

Eau de Tubbs 2008….a blend of 29 herbs and spices, has a hint of pine box, a whiff of jet fuel from Lowders jet, seems to attract ducks instead of recruits, many who wear it feel a desire to chop block their date when they are not looking, mediocre at best, on sale now for $36.00…..if it doesnt work, get a $5.1 million dollar refund….last batch with the free gift of “Tony Franklins Spread Offense DVD” was recalled midway thru the season, people preferred it 3-2 over “Croomdom”…

Mike Leach’s “Pirates of the Plains.”

A quirky little odor, smells slightly of dust and tumble weed with a hint of musty ship cabins. Initial sales very strong but ran into distribution problems in Oklahoma.

Accepts all major credit cards and dubloons.

I lack the creativity for this, but we need a scent for Schnellenberger.

Wahoo: Groh d’toilet.
Like a lot of brands (Jaguar, Barbour, the GOP), has been around for longer than you’d imagine, because a few members of the elite will always buy what they’re selling, regardless of actual quality.

Tuberville pour homme: Started out in the mid-‘90s as an intriguing blend of wiregrass, pine box, and shoe leather, and developed a loyal cult following. But marketing determined that they needed to go after a younger, hipper crowd, so last year it was reformulated to take on distinct notes of margarine spread and flop sweat. Sales plummeted and now it’s available for $4.99 a bottle at finer Pilot and RaceTrac stations everywhere.

Schnelley wears Jovan, right?

Crimsonique, lightly scented with Alabama pine, this aroma is sold in 6 ounce bottles but the label claims it contains12.

So, are you ever going to let the tie thing go? So far, I haven’t seen the meme gaining any traction, and I like to think I keep up pretty well with the Big 10 Blogosphere.

Didn’t you get berated for criticizing Dantonio in that original post anyway?

I’d like to add that BieleMansmells strongly of used-douche.

Mike Gundy’s RAGE – When you want to smell like a man. A forty year old man.

Seer: we will never let the tie thing go, steam or not.

BrooklynGator @ 26
100 cocktails to you. And unfortunately, a Pepsi for my monitor.

You forgot to mention that Charlie Weis’ scent stays on for a year no matter how bad it stinks.

heh… nicely played #24

Forty…. because you’re a man.

Bravo 26!!

…shot water right out my nose

Aw goddammit BrooklynGator!!!

you beat me to it.

Does Miles’ scent contain any hints of taffy? If not, it’s only re-bottled Hai Karate’.

“Yarr!!” by Leach – for when you hold a flintlock in one hand and a football in the other

Paul Johnson’s Ramble Option – 3 compartmented bottle, with three individual scents of fresh cut grass, topsoil, and sideline chalk, which can be worn individually or in combination. “Read your lady, choose wisely, and you could score.”

1957 – it’s the only one we’ve got, although we made a ring for 2004.

I am alone.
(whisper) Misery (/whisper)
What the hell was I thinking?
(whisper) Mystery. (/whisper)
I have no desire to live.
(whisper) “Gerg’d” (/whisper)

“UK One” – Probably Bullshit

“Trev” – for when you feel a hundred feet tall

“d One” – because you don’t play intramurals.

Charlie Strong’s TABU (at least in Auburn he is).

ETERNITY (or GUESS) by the Auburn athletic department.

OBSESSION (with USC) by Rick Neuheisel.

Coonass Bait: Applied with a Red Stick, labeled as “real tiger musk” but is actually a blend of old urine, stale beer, corndogs, and funnel cake batter. Most effective when worn near fugly chicks wearing purple and yellow and way too much makeup. Or carnival workers, who are really just the nomads of the LSU fanbase.

For Weis:

“Man-dom2”: A pungent reissue of the Bronson classic, with added taint sweat and twinkie-inspired essences, blended with texture of belly button lint and attar of ass-crack, packaged in lard. The decorative cap can be used as a bariatric collar. One spritz under each man-boob guaranteed to cover the stink of mediocrity for at least four years. Warning: contains pheremones that cause drowsiness and impaired judgment in ADs, while simultaneously attracting sissy-armed Emus.

Although this has nothing to do with the GT football program…

“North Avenue”…A strong scent of onion rings, followed with a touch of cheap bourbon, and finishing with a definite curry scent. A fragrance for men only.

Eau d’Corso:

Saltpeter, Geritol and Dr Tichenor’s with a hint of goat mucus.

That’s a picture of Jamon Iberico Bellota. $100/lb, and it tastes and smells like steak, pizza, and prosciutto all rolled into one. I’d fucking wear it in a second, but if I did, I’d eat myself.

I can’t believe there has been no discussion on how Whos Now tebow is?

Marky M’s “Gravy Bomb” is redolent of of pan drippings, flour, beef stock, white wine, and bacon.

Whenever you make me laugh like that, I can’t help but prey that your wife understands you. If she does then she’s the happiest lady on earth, regardless of girth. If not, poor thing.

@33

In the Fantasy Draft that is this post, I was surprised that Gundy lasted that long sans scent

GoldenRodair…..for Rodriguez and the Wolverine faithful….it looks like piss, but smells like a fart

1. & #26 – hilarious.

“Wrong Way Bo”…a strong yet pleasing combination of Bo Jackson’s ball sweat, Pat Dye’s favorite buorbon, water from Lake Martin, puss from Tony Franklin’s head injury, blood from Brandon Cox and Coke from previously unopened 1957 NC bottles. They can’t keep the stuff on the shelves in Lee County.

1. That reminds me of the actual footage I found of Charlie Strong approaching Jay Jacobs regarding the opening at Auburn.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3hTKdsq6FY

Destiny, by Mike Price – hints of stale beer, cigarette smoke, cheap perfume and $1,000 in room-service food.

Corporate cards not accepted. Purchase invalidates $10MM, 7-yr contract and sends buyer to El Paso.

Flirtatious – by Bobby Petrino.

Harpeaux, by Gary Pinkel: Smelling heavily of hops, tobacco and scorched-earth, with just a hint of a wheaty smell put in at the insistence of the farm companies that always run ads on KMOX during games. Leaves you with a sense of crushing disappointment, but for some odd reason you always come back for it knowing that this time could be better.

Eau de Bahr. Hints of must, decomp, and golden flake.

ESS OHH ESS. Thinks your cologne sucks and just reported you to the authorities for smelling bad. Hints of cock, sweat, arrogance and general fuck you’edness. Spray makes sound of click-clack.

Herbs by Urban Meyer. Stare. You know you want this cologne. Stare. Herbs. Stare.

Eau d’angels – smells like sunshine and winning. Heavy concentration – eg about 90,000 people on a Saturday afternoon – tends towards smug.

Scent [Redacted]
For those with less discriminating standards who are content with one special moment every few seasons.

Desire-Nick Saban

Guaranteed to convince any coach to come to whomever shows the most interest in him at any one time.

Ted @36 wins.
If you don’t already work in marketing, you should.

“O’Brien’s Musk” – 1/3 parts Buttermilk, Eau de Jordan Lake and Charles River.

What? No snake oil for Rodriguez?

The Game – Bob Stoops.

For when you haven’t had any in the past four years when it counts.

Saved! by Mark Richt:

Smacks mostly of hedges, with subtle hints of frankincense, myrrh, and knowshon moreno sweat. wearer is initially enticing to all, but the effect wears off halfway through the year except, for a precious few whose defenses are powerless against it (just ask our satisfied customer, one W. Martinez). Shining light from above sold separately.

not sold in Tuscaloosa, Gainesville, or the I-285 corridor in GA, whose citizens apparently aren’t in need of salvation.

Orson, thank you so much for always keeping UW in your thoughts. Tryrone deserves all of it, and then some

Welcome Coach Sark

Which are available at high priced outlets, and which do you get at JC Penney’s?