CURIOUS INDEX, 12/12/08
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He’s classy, actually. Cowboy in TN owns up like a man should, though he didn’t like the play where “Nick Saban faked that field goal ‘n shit.” The BOOM is not coming to a city near you. Will Muschamp is staying put in Austin, and may have even called Auburn types to counter reports in Alabama that he was going to take the Auburn coaching gig. In all likelihood this may be the result of some gamesmanship by Muschamp’s agent, for all we know, since it’s never out of season to squeeze a bit more marrow from the bones of your contract. But it’s crap, crap, crap from all indicators we have. Fan fiction bubbling to the surface of the television media and no more. Nyet, too. Spurrier is not coming, either. The requirements for publishing a story from a television station in Alabama are evidently lower than that of a blog (which is low, indeed.) Mama called. She’s broke. Doug Marrone, not Turner Gill, will be the next head coach at Syracuse. Going the NFL assistant route again would seem odd if Marrone, the OC for the Saints, hadn’t played at Syracuse in the 90s. It seems less Greg Robinson part deux, and more like a shot at trying the Jeff Jagodzksodkfaosningskiiijii model at Boston College out: young, innovative NFL type comes home to light up scoreboards and overwhelm expectations. Given the state of the Big East, this is more than possible. (Also: he’s probably pretty cheap.) Infirm. We’re struggling through some kind of evil funk virus today, so posting will be spotty. At 3:30 yesterday our head hit the desk and we woke up four hours later wondering where the hell we were, so it’s been Day/NyQuil ever since. At the least we’ll have a tally on the charity drive, which exceeded our wildest expectations. |
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1
OrangeGator says:
The Post-Standard website says Marrone is working on bringing Coach O back to Syracuse… He probably won’t get any new Hummer ads with GM about to go bye-bye, but hopefully someone will write a song.
December 12th, 2008 at 9:47 am
2
OhioDawg says:
“Day/Nyquil” so that’s what they’re calling the drank these days?
December 12th, 2008 at 9:51 am
3
suicidewatch says:
Orson, always hatin’ on the Tigers. you take those losses pretty hard don’t you? that being said i can’t believe Sportscenter actually ran that story from Mobile.
December 12th, 2008 at 9:52 am
4
suicidewatch says:
enough of this Mushmouth and OBC foolishness. name Gill the coach and let us all move on with our football loving lives. please.
December 12th, 2008 at 9:54 am
5
BrooklynGator says:
Can we put together a weekly guest video blog from this Bama fan?
“I got a fuckin ol Tennessee fan back here, he dont know what the hell he’s talkin about…”
Quality entertainment
December 12th, 2008 at 9:54 am
6
The Snake will Drive Again! says:
I’m glad Muschamp is a man of his word and staying in Austin. I think he was too young to take over at auburn and it would have been a mistake, like Kiffykins.
December 12th, 2008 at 9:54 am
7
DrBundy says:
Can Syracuse please take Sean Payton instead of our OC? The Saints’ O is halfway decent, it’s just more bonehead playcalling (which is handled by Payton, not the OC) that keeps us in the “also played” category.
December 12th, 2008 at 10:01 am
8
etsuVol says:
Well that’s weird; the very moment I was reading this, Fox Sports Radio was saying “Muschamp reportedly will be Auburn’s next coach.” -50 BOOMS for you, Fox
And I guess Marrone’s not coming back to Knoxville to be on Kiffin’s staff.
December 12th, 2008 at 10:09 am
9
The Gentleman Masher says:
I was really hoping ‘Cuse would go the K-State route and bring back Dick MacPherson. Oh well.
If Orgeron goes with Marrone, his recruiting territory should be Queens and Queens only…The Orgeron would be the first Frenchman to be made!
December 12th, 2008 at 10:09 am
10
justanotherbuckeye says:
It’s nice to see that the fine people of Tennesee continue to defy the progressions of time and spit in the face of of the ever changing fashion industry. Sporting the mullet takes “bahhhllllls” and this man has them in spades.
December 12th, 2008 at 10:26 am
11
TJ says:
@10
Do you really think he’s that self-aware? I strongly suspect he has no idea what a “mullet” is.
December 12th, 2008 at 10:30 am
12
etsuVol says:
Oh, and Malcolm Jenkins “won” the Thorpe Award for best DB over Eric Berry, which is the biggest load of fuck ever.
December 12th, 2008 at 10:31 am
13
PW says:
Army just fired its coach, per WWL.
December 12th, 2008 at 10:31 am
14
BurritoBrosShits says:
Somehow I just don’t see Coach O’s coonass routine going over too well in the NE. Just don’t.
December 12th, 2008 at 10:43 am
15
PeterPumpkinhead says:
1. If you are a fan of an SEC team, or a team from Ohio, Michigan, or Northern California… you have a “Cowboy in TN” in your fan base… no use denying it
2. Having grown up watching WSFA, I am not surprised in the slightest that they’d report that
3. I’ll repeat it since I didn’t get an answer yesterday… Where are the “No, I will not coach your traditionally mediocre football team” tshirts? Fair is fair.
December 12th, 2008 at 10:56 am
16
Techie says:
I do like the Gill to Auburn move. One of the few downsides is that Charles Barkley gets to act like a smug asshole, and be praised for being a brilliant thinker and mover/shaker for the next couple of years.
December 12th, 2008 at 11:05 am
17
hobeg8r says:
PPH –
In response to Par. 3 – or bumper stickers which read:
“Honk if you’ve been linked as the next HC at Auburn”
December 12th, 2008 at 11:06 am
18
GamecockTony says:
“Patterson has been the head coach at T-C-U .”
I’m not an AP Style expert (though I did stay in a Holiday Inn Express once and, you know, studied Journalism) but, that does not seem quite right.
December 12th, 2008 at 11:17 am
19
AllWhoYonder says:
wasn’t “Evil Funk Virus” the 1975 Halloween album that George Clinton put out?
Well, it should’ve been…
December 12th, 2008 at 11:18 am
20
InsaneCoachPosse says:
that video was the best youtube item ever recorded in a doublewide
December 12th, 2008 at 11:31 am
21
Gen. Stoopnagle says:
@ suicidewatch: That might be it, but really everyone is looking at AU right now and seeing a laughingstock.
I mean: AU just got served by Mississippi State on how to run a coaching search.
December 12th, 2008 at 11:51 am
22
Houston's Nutts says:
The best one-liners from the video:
“Tebow is some kinda ole star horndog”
“Justin Parker – he had a helluva game”
“Ole Urban Meyer’s still looking like a damn ole cocky sumbitch.”
“Him and Tebow, they look like two queers. They prolly go to the Motel 6 later and butt fuck each other.”
“I think the Florida team will go to a Motel 6 and just run a train on each other, with Tebow in the middle and Urban Meyer being in the front. But anyway, it was a good game.”
“There’s prolly gonna be a lot of sex down there in the damn Georgia motel from the damn Florida team – Prolly a lot of ass fucking going on. AIN’T THAT RIGHT TIM TEBOW???”
“Fuck you Florida. You still fuckin’ suck in my book.”
This guy is a national treasure.
December 12th, 2008 at 11:55 am
23
vegas_buckeye says:
There’s a ring on his finger. Someone married this fine, upstanding representation of the state of Alabama.
I really wonder what the conversation was like for the 2 minutes prior to him pressing the record button on his webcam. My imagination is just having fits right now imagining the possibilities.
December 12th, 2008 at 12:09 pm
24
Tater Salad says:
vegas_buckeye:
Wait, are you trying to say that a homophobic rant resulting from a college football game is representative of the State of Alabama?
Umm, uhh, he lives in Tennessee. Because it would be totally different if he was broadcasting from the Heart of Dixie…
Fuck.
December 12th, 2008 at 12:12 pm
25
MSR says:
@12,
Yeah, well the SEC coaches let their disdain for Nick Saban and his habit of making them look bad cause them to give Michael Oher the Jacobs Trophy over Andre Smith, who just happened to win the Outland. Apparently you can be the best lineman in the country, but not the best in your own conference.
Also see, e.g., Nick Saban’s sharing SEC Coach of the Year with Houston Nutt and Bobby Johnson (who lost 6 of his last 7 games).
December 12th, 2008 at 12:13 pm
26
MSR says:
Oh, and Eric Berry definitely got jobbed
December 12th, 2008 at 12:14 pm
27
BurritoBrosShits says:
Goddamn cowboy sounded like he was about to cry near the end.
December 12th, 2008 at 12:18 pm
28
BurritoBrosShits says:
Cowboy would be the best LIVE call ever. EVER.
December 12th, 2008 at 12:21 pm
29
Herb says:
Why ever hire a black man to coach your football team when there are somany white men with impeccable credentials, e.g. Doug Marrone, Lane Kiffin, Dabo Swinney, etc?
December 12th, 2008 at 1:28 pm
30
Mr.Pelican Pants says:
For the record, that aint me in the video, but, I will be willing to do a parody and response it post it later.
I would say he is about 45% of the fan base, and why the hell he is in Tennessee, who knows? I would bet he is a welder or construction worker with some traveling company that builds Wal-Marts around the country. I bet he could rebuild any carb off any gasoline engine within 30 mins.
With that said, we will be back. Next year, Swindle……
This just in……Cowboy in TN has turned down the job to be AU’s Coach, due to being “overqualified”……..per Jacobs…….
December 12th, 2008 at 1:54 pm
31
shesaid says:
The scariest part about that video is the fact that “Cowboy” is f***ing MARRIED!?!? What shell of a woman married that pile of manure?
December 12th, 2008 at 2:05 pm
32
gator bob says:
http://www.youtube.com/user/cowboyintn1979
cowboy’s youtube page. nice keystone light wallpaper
December 12th, 2008 at 3:02 pm
33
tempebamafan says:
that guy is fanfuckingtastic! ya’ll can make fun of him or be “shocked” he’s married, but he’s a decent dad. at the 4 minute mark there’s a priceless family moment where he demonstrates some fine parenting skills.
December 12th, 2008 at 3:18 pm
34
John says:
How is Cuddles handling all this madness, Orson?
December 12th, 2008 at 3:58 pm
35
DrB says:
Given the stupid play calling of the Saints and their inability to find a theme and identity as a team, I don’t like the move by Syracuse.
They should hire Gill and let him build on the contacts he already has in New York, that would make the most sense to me.
December 12th, 2008 at 4:34 pm
36
Geoff says:
Anyone else hear Finebaum on 12/5 when Cowboy called in? Toward the end of the first hour, Finebaum asked if he was supposed to be impressed that he was on the air with Cowboy…F-Baum also told him to get a life and called him a loser.
This of course all led to Cowboy making a reply on youtube to Finebaum, which of course is gold.
Ahh…the circle of life
December 12th, 2008 at 5:03 pm
37
Three Days of Orange says:
Tennessee’s efforts at “securing our borders” have obviously been insufficient. These strangers from our southern border keep sneaking across and taking our jobs! Good jobs! Like “hydrocodone farmer,” “trailer park squatter,” and “night manager at the Krystal.”
Why does Cowboy live in TN? Is our disability package sweeter?
Does he think Mississippi is “too hick” and Georgia is “kind of, you know, gay”?
Cowboy, the (T)INS is coming for you.
“Papers, please”
December 12th, 2008 at 11:48 pm