He would say that was an abomination. From the e’er pithy car windows of Gainesville:

HT: Sha-mac.

But we’ve never been apart! The Mackenzie Brothers known as Dan Mullen and Tim Tebow may or may not have to be apart for the first time, as Urban Meyer says he has not had time to evaluate whether or not Mullen will coach the national championship game. Cute baby seal says there’s nothing to see here whatsoever.

Bret, you really don’t have to make exceptions for him. Bret Bielema says he won’t break Bobby Bowden’s leg, which is what happened to the other ancient coach the Badgers faced, which really would only be fair, Bret. You can’t pick and choose with policies. They either apply to everyone, or not.

“We’ll treat him better than we did coach Paterno,” Bielema joked. “Our first game against him we broke coach Paterno’s leg on the sideline. We’re not going to do any of that business.”

Whatever. Watch your ass, Bobby, and watch it from both directions lest Jimbo Fisher get impatient and roll into the back of your leg and claim it was an accident.

Now taking applications. Penn State’s backup qb Pat Devlin is transferring, leaving the Nittany Lions with Daryll Clark and his backup Nobody. PSU also has zero qb commits at the moment.

His call sign is “Chop Block Forty.” Auburn’s former offensive line coach is so in demand he went immediately back to work as…um…a trucking executive. When Tony Franklin’s house is run through “Enter Sandman” style by a runaway truck, we’ll all know what really happened here.