CHRIS RAINEY IS EXACT

A high level of mathematical and statistical accuracy in areas usually considered fairly subjective causes opposing teams to think instead of react, thus giving our players that competitive edge.

…and Rainey’s overused groin will benefit from thirty days rest…damn white girls…

The best (or worst) part of the article included the following:

Doctors have yet to diagnose his injury, but Rainey said they told him he will need tissue cut out of his groin after the season.

NEED SOME TISSUE CUT OUT OF HIS GROIN AFTER THE SEASON.

Tell me they didn’t say that. Paging Dr. Tebow….

Ingram said he was 85% on saturday, I expect he uses the same level of statistical accuracy as Rainey. Rounding is for losers

hobeg8r

Damn doctors are just trying to clone him by getting a large sample of his DNA. You fuckers think of everything!

#2

I read that part 4 times….and couldn’t believe I was reading that each and every time. It can’t be THAT easy!

Dr. Tebow, paging Dr. Tebow (he’s a groin tissue cutter outer from WAY back

LMAO…

@4

The University of Florida Center for Genetic Studies, also known now as the “We’ll Never Play Without Harvin or Tebow Again Center for Football Excellence” will soon be in full effect.

Coach Meyer has directed that they stock no less than 3 full Tebow and Harvin clones at all times, but he is most excited at the prospect of his own athletic blends such as the deadly IngraSpikes, the blindingly fast HarvDemps and the ability to blend a little Tebow into everyone on the team to create his own personal army of killer football zombie clones.

You have been warned!

as a Sooner fan, i think these fine young athletes shouldn’t push themselve too much over the next 30 days, and should probably just take another 30 days rest and aim at being game-ready sometime in the Spring – i know there is a game on January 8th, but i’d rather see these young men fully recover than risk further injury – in fact, if Tebow’s knees get a little sore from praying too much, he might want to sit out at least the 1st half

besides, it’s just some gimmicky big 12 team that would crumble to the ESS-EEE-SEE speed that florida has on their 3rd string, so it’s not like florida even needs these guys…

The good news about this for Rainey,they’ve done studies, you know. 60% of the time it works, every time.

Gen Disarray – while they’re at it, I think Aaron Hernandez should be cloned as well – with a little touch of Murphy. I’m sure Urbz has already thought of that.

This reminds me of the original NES hockey game where the players were either fat, skinny, or medium. What would the field look like with 11 tebows on each side of the ball.

Can we rastify him about, say, 10 percent?

On a side note, I love how OU and Florida fans are bending over backward to compliment each other. Deference and respect aren’t things that come naturally to either fan base (and I’m not trying to make a class/classless argument, so don’t go there). The resulting “aw shucks, they’re so good” just feels awkward.

Okies & Gators, stick to what you do best: hate.

Orson, your Rainey photo caption is Economist-worthy
+100

So is that like the athletic version of the “bro”? A sports bro?

Sparrow,

1. it’s early – be patient

2. we’ve never played each other before, and don’t quite know yet what to think of each other – i, for one, have really only been exposed to two florida fans: OS and a 6’7’’ Marine i went to law school with who i’m sure already has plans to kill me

3. we’re still trying to figure out how to make fun of a program that’s only been relevant for about 10 years and may not be relevant again after Tebow graduates

@14

Then by that math I guess Steve Spurrier’s tenure wasn’t relevant? Maybe scroll up to the EDSBS banner for starters and “git some learnin”

It seems Chris Rainey and Jim Edmonds have more in common then I’d ever imagined.

Chris Rainey is the greatest quote that nobody really pays attention to anymore- from the “It’s good to be Chris Rainey” to “white girls” to “93% of the pain”, we’re talking solid material here.

and okiedomer, if I was a victim of Stoopsie’s penchant for not showing up in the big game AND ND’s utter lack of balls, I’d probably want to disparage the last 10 years as well. Although 1996-97 are a little outside of that range, I’m not sure if you want to remember those back-to-back 8-loss seasons either.

did florida even have a football team before spurrier got there?

honest question.

i just always assumed uf before spurrier was like fau before schnellenberger….

1. - bringing up ND is below the belt

Royce-

Yes, it is. And the white girls love it.

1. - if it is an honest question, then:
   There was some fairly significant success under Ray Graves in the 60’s (when Spurrier won the Heisman) and the team was in the mix for conference championships, even if though never probably favored. Then we got Doug Dickeyed in the 70’s for some prolonged mediocrity (see: Oklahoma in the years immediately prior to Stoops). Charlie Pell turned things around and by the mid-80’s we were relevant on the national level and won the conference, only to be later stripped and slammed with probabation, setting us back until Spurrier’s arrival (his first year was a probation year for violations prior to his arrival). Haven’t looked back since…
   [Some years REDACTED]

21,
You forgot that in 1928, Florida’s “Phantom Four” backfield. They led the nation in scoring that year. They racked up 336 points and allowed just 44 during the 9 game season.

Then, in 1939, Florida traveled to Fenway Park and majorly upset Boston College 7-0. Live alligators were all the rage at the game.

…and Gatorade was in fact developed for the Florida football team in the mid-60’s, despite what those Seminole Fluid drinkers say

No need to stay in school, Chris. You could make a fortune in the mortgage securities market NOW because the people currently running the show flummoxed by percents, ciphering and that damned Excel thing.