Skipping xanax; going straight to horse tranquilizers.

I couldn’t wish Nix as Head Coach on my worst enemy, it’s beyond salting the earth.

in 1999, the Reddies were 2-9, but they followed that up in 2000 with a 1-10 season.

http://www.phys.utk.edu/sorensen/cfr/cfr/Output/1999/CF_1999_Team_Henderson_State.html

No fucking way we hire Pat Nix. If we do, I will kill myself. We are also interviewing Rodney Garner. I think it’s just a nice thing to do for alumni so they can get their name out there and generate a little buzz. That’s my hope anyway. Hope, hope, hope.

karlhungus, I would probably take Garner over Nix. At least he’s demonstrated relative competence as a position coach at UT and UGA by putting players in the NFL. The only thing Nix puts his quarterbacks in is a coma. But on the plus side, maybe he’d bring Reggie Ball along as a graduate assistant. . .

Jebus, Orson that picture still kinda creeps me out.

Couldn’t be any worse than hiring, say, COACH REDACTED… right Orson?

I too support Patrick Nix for AU head coach! As a GT supporter I know the offensive schemes Nix brings to the game are truly unique!!! Huzzah!

Couldn’t be any worse than hiring, say, COACH REDACTED…

WarDamnEagle makes a good point. Hiring your hotshot assistant, former quarterback alumnus is usually a good idea. Just ask Mike Shula and Ray Goff.

Plus, according to his bio, he has a BS in secondary education. That should qualify him to be a bonafide professor at Auburn, too, so he can teach classes on the side!

I still for the life of me cannot figure out how in the hell Nix got the job at Miami.

If this happens, would any jury in the world convict Charlie Strong for going on a three-state killing spree?

Also, I’d like to echo General Disarray. That image haunts my nightmares. I demand a t-shirt with that picture. “EDSBS. It Burns.”

Who wouldn’t leave a head coaching position after 2 years to be a wide receivers coach at Samford? That’s the most covetted wide receiver coaching position of all private colleges that start with “S” in Alabama.

This is the offensive coordinator that worked with Tashard Choice and Calvin Johnson, so he MUST know what he’s doing.

Heck, I’m on board with Patrick Nix just for the amazing opportunites it gives for headlines.

“Auburn’s 4th Quarter Comeback Nixed by Tide”

“Nix Tricks Fall Flat”

“Nix Saban Matchup Grossly One-sided”

“A Championship at Auburn? Nix That.”

See? The possibilities are endless!

#11

The answer is: Calvin Johnson.

Rumor has it that Doug Barfield might be enticed to come out of retirement.

Orson, it should actually be Tigerplainsmeninjunfaces.
War Eagle wuz a Semi-hole injun cheef. How those eeediots came up with the iggle stumps me. Symbolism, I guess.

I think i just threw up in my mouth a little.

@#8: No, no Brian, as GT fans we want Shannon and Nix to get lifetime contracts at Miami!

@ 5: wouldn’t one need an undergraduate degree to become a “graduate” assistant? If I recall correctly, North Avenue got a jump on the Taylor Bennett era at a Gator Bowl because Reggie managed to get himself academically ineligible and out of the institute…

Or did Reggie eventually ride the M-train on out of there?

…there was some sarcasm in my typing, but no harm/no foul on not seeing it, since the internet masks sarcasm usually.

Additionally I would like to say that no Jury would convict Charlie strong, true, but then, since its still the south, he would not get a trial either. Look away! Look away! Look away! Dixie Land.

Hey any chance Charlie Strong gets the Coach in Waiting tag? Or is Meyer way too young for that?

I can’t tell which haunts my nightmares worse: Satanic Orson or Time Travellin’ Orson.

“Hicks Nix Nix Pick”?

…I’ll show myself out…

Urban is younger than Strong, so I would imagine not. When my Aggies finished our Franccionabortion, I prayed we would at least interview Strong. Alas, we immediately went the worthless re-tread route.

Orson you hilarious sonofabitch.

You’re even funnier when I’m drinking the Cold Duck.

Kudos, sir.

I also endorse Patrick Nix for the Auburn job. I would hate to lose a guy who turned our offense into an exciting fast paced unpredictable 17 pts a game outfit, but its just such a great fit for program and coach.

• By fast paced I mean quick to get off the field via 3 and out

• By unpredictable I mean unpredictable, since not even Nix has any idea what hes going to call next.

How about this, Auburn can have Patrick Nix, and then they can get a free Jacory Harris transfer, and Jacory Harris and Cody Burns can rotate in and out with no discernible difference in talent or skill set. You can even WildEagle the two of them and create a duel threat. Which QB will look at his primary read and then run the ball, and which is the decoy? Nobody will ever figure it out!

Please let Nix get this job and Shannon hires The Playmaker to replace Nix. Nix is so awful I will gladly let Irvin call streak routes all game just to have him back in the fold at the U.

I’m a Stan White supporter myself…..

Auburn’s AD must seriously hate the university more than Dave Braine ever did when he inflicted a long and expensive contract with Chan Gailey and then promptly retired to deal with a medical ailment which I can only hope led to a long, painful, and undignified death.