BILL STEWART SAYS WFV CAN LUBRICATE THE WORLD. YAY!
Bill Stewart: “We’ve got enough coal to heat the world. We’ve got enough oil in this state to lubricate the world.”
If you doubt he actually said it:
So, attention bears, twinks, circuit boys, fluffers, power bottoms, greasers, dry-runners, barebackers, dogs-in-the-bath freaks, poofters, and those struggling with Dry Clam Syndrome around the nation: Bill Stewart says West Virginia can not only help you out, but keep you warm in the process. Albeit, you may have black lung when you finish whatever it is you plan to do with that oil, but sickness of the lungs and pneumatic system makes one lusty in a Doc Holliday kind of way.
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1
Mich-Placed Gator says:
…and enough DNA to almost form an Archaea
December 8th, 2008 at 1:08 pm
2
haybeav says:
You forgot “gaymo-sexuals”
December 8th, 2008 at 1:09 pm
3
Crabapple Buck says:
I thought Noel Devine was the source of lubrication. He has moistened many clams in his years at WfV.
December 8th, 2008 at 1:10 pm
4
Jacket And Coke says:
What prompted that diatribe?
Enough Brains in the state of West Virgginy to run the world?
Yet, not one person in the state with a complete set of chromosomes.
Sad but it is WFV.
December 8th, 2008 at 1:13 pm
5
DC Trojan says:
Surely limited respiratory capacity means less frenzied pounding, which means longer, trantric-style sessions, which means more need for that anthracite ass-grease, bituminous buggery baste, and culm clam clearer.
December 8th, 2008 at 1:13 pm
6
BurritoBrosShits says:
Somehow that was a fitting summary of the WFV football program. If WFV had enough brains to run the world, the world would be a very different place.
December 8th, 2008 at 1:14 pm
7
Mr. Shine E. Box says:
Anyone seen Josh?
Oh yeah, this thread is about West Virginia….
Question: What does a girl from West Virginia say while she’s having sex?
Answer: Roll over Dad; you’re crushing my cigarettes.
Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in West Virginia to 32?
It seems that they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools!
A young West Virgina teenage boy and his younger sister went to see the country doctor. The boy said “Doc, I think we need to get sis some of them there birth control pills”. Incredulous, the doctor asked, “Why? Is she sexually active?” The boy thought for a moment, then replied, “Naw, she just lays there like her Mom.”
December 8th, 2008 at 1:16 pm
8
InsaneCoachPosse says:
can we get back to the “Texas got JOBBED” thread now?
December 8th, 2008 at 1:20 pm
9
austin dave says:
@8–yeah and without any lube.
December 8th, 2008 at 1:23 pm
10
Noel Devine's Gold Teef says:
Bill Stewart is a fucking embarrassment. What a complete and utter fuck-tard. That dip-stick can’t spell “lubrication.” Jesus H Christ…..
December 8th, 2008 at 1:48 pm
11
bigred4wvu says:
just another week in the office for stew and his brilliant thoughts
December 8th, 2008 at 1:51 pm
12
uwfgator says:
You are right once again Orson, Doc Holiday really is a lusty kind of feller. BTW #7, your right too. Its a blast making fun of West Virginia.
December 8th, 2008 at 1:56 pm
13
yoyofutbawl says:
He forgot “…and enough moonshine to fill the Great Lakes.”
That statement makes Jeff Gundy, Houston Nutt, The Orgeron and Barry Switzer look sane.
December 8th, 2008 at 2:00 pm
14
BurritoBrosShits says:
Only in college football can you be this batshit crazy or irresponsibly stupid to have a job.
December 8th, 2008 at 2:05 pm
15
CincySooner says:
“… and enough brains in this state (dramatic pause) to run the world.”
I’m not sure I want to live in a world where the persons in charge can’t practice good clock-management.
December 8th, 2008 at 2:17 pm
16
ApalledMtneer says:
@15 — I guess you missed that 33-second drive for a FG at the end of the first half of the USF game: Grothe is picked in the EZ with 38 seconds left; 33 seconds later Pat Mac drills a 45-yd FG in the snow.
At least Coach Stew seems to have learned how to do something over the course of this year.
December 8th, 2008 at 2:35 pm
17
meatybob says:
Nerd Chemical Engineer reporting…
Actually, he is right on the coal part. We only use somewhere around a fraction of 1% of the coal available ’cause of sulfur content. And the whole state is one frickin big coal mine.
Nerd Engineer out…
December 8th, 2008 at 2:51 pm
18
DC Trojan says:
meatybob @17 – No doubt, but to be honest, given the track record of mining toxins ending up in the Potomac, I’m not totally convinced that getting all of that coal out is the greatest idea ever.
On the other hand, I would imagine that poisoning the water supply for the DC area would be a vote winner in many parts of the country.
December 8th, 2008 at 3:03 pm
19
Gomer says:
Someone, ANYONE, please, please, PLEASE make this nightmare end!
December 8th, 2008 at 3:06 pm
20
berdingo says:
Is he endorsing W f’n V secede from the union or what? I want to know the context of this weird diatribe. Is he running for governor, or something? If, as it appears to be, it is just the closing remarks of a normal Monday press conference, then that dude is seriously batshit-in-the-bellfry loony. Certifiable.
December 8th, 2008 at 3:13 pm
21
hillbilly says:
we also have enough guns as well, keep em guessing stew, lets go mountaineers
December 8th, 2008 at 3:22 pm
22
Bob Henderson says:
This guy doesn’t know where he is at!
December 8th, 2008 at 3:27 pm
23
Signal to Noise says:
This is what happens when you marry the rebound fuck and discover that s/he actually has a personality of his/her own when you’re not in the sack.
WfVU fans are in that stage of wanting to Tammy Wynette this sucker as soon as possible.
December 8th, 2008 at 3:30 pm
24
Gomer says:
And Stew spews enough BS to manure the world.
December 8th, 2008 at 3:45 pm
25
Mr.Pelican Pants says:
#17
I knew that state smelled like rotten egg farts for some reason!
December 8th, 2008 at 4:02 pm
26
Touchdown74 says:
Seriously kids…WTF was that?
So they have alot of coal, oil, and brains (and here I thought there was 1 shared brain in the state). They also have a surplus of old couches. That could be something useful too!
December 8th, 2008 at 4:29 pm
27
CincySooner says:
Fair enough #16…
I haven’t seen very much of WVU this year. I haven’t watched a single down of WVU football since they beat Auburn, and the only lasting impressions I have of WVU 2008 are the brain-sapping losses to ECU and Colorado.
I plead guilty to making broad generalizations about a football team after watching only a small sample of their work… it happens.
December 8th, 2008 at 4:34 pm
28
Sal says:
He’s a walking embarrassment to the football program, the University and state in general. As a die-hard WVU fan, all I can say is, “Please, Bill, go away now!”
December 8th, 2008 at 4:47 pm
29
Jeff says:
The guys is a f’ing loser! He’s a joke of a coach and makes WVU look like the laughing stock of the Big East. Did you happen to cath him during the Colorado game on TV, he was lost in space. He’s a dumbass. His ONLY other Head Coaching job was at VMI where he was 8-27. Only the Hoopies of West Virginia would have given him the head coaching job after a Calvin McGhee win against Oklahoma, no one else would have made him their waterboy let alone a head coach. Ha ha ha ha ………………
December 8th, 2008 at 5:19 pm
30
Gen. Stoopnagle says:
What. The. Fuck.
Can we get a re-match while they brainiac is in charge at WFV?
December 8th, 2008 at 5:31 pm
31
jakldawg says:
#1. If they had archaeal DNA, then they could use the oil and coal as nutritious carbon sources.
NERDS!
December 8th, 2008 at 5:53 pm
32
WVUGrad says:
What a joke! You are right, he’s an embarrassment to the University as well as the state of West Virginia.
He should have NEVER been given head coaching position……….Blame the drunken athletic director, he hired him. The fans up there want him gone!
December 8th, 2008 at 6:25 pm
33
JB says:
Sigh. Remember when we used to kick the other teams butts and win BCS bowl games. That was fun.
Its a damn shame the brains here in WV have never figured out an economy not based on extractive industries. The coach shilling for them is just a symptom of the problem.
I am NOT a friend of coal.
December 8th, 2008 at 9:32 pm
34
Ninja Football says:
Dear BurritoBrosShits,
RE comment #14: WE think you’ve forgotten about us.
Signed,
Wall St
December 9th, 2008 at 7:17 am
35
jj says:
It’s possible that Stew was lashing out at his critics with those statements. Lots of coal – check. Lots of oil – check. Lots of media and fans who have never coached a div. I football team who think they could have won the national championship with that roster of players – check.
December 9th, 2008 at 10:01 am
36
KENH says:
Enough coal to heat the world? There’s your global warming. How did Al Gore miss that?
December 9th, 2008 at 4:04 pm
37
Nosmo King says:
What a tool. Lubricate this.
December 9th, 2008 at 8:47 pm
38
DR says:
Here, in Paul Harvey parlance, is the rest of the story …
The genesis of Stewart’s finishing remarks came at a performance of Uncle Tom’s Cabin at the Fairmont Opera House in the 1890s (exact year uncertain).
There, a famed Wetzel County character, William Olliver Gallagher, delivered an oratory known as “Glorious Old Wetzel,” after he was pushed onstage and asked to introduce himself.
Gallagher, known as “Oll” and “Ol’ Gallahue,” once was described as a “combination of Mark Twain and the typical mountaineer” in a Wheeling newspaper.
A man with a large handlebar mustache, he was a known defender of the honor of Wetzel County against what he considered the uppity folks in Wheeling, then the state capital.
When Tom Loehr heard fellow Wetzel County native Stewart’s conclusion to his press conference, he knew the words, their context and he had heard them — or similar ones — before.
Loehr, 59, is a former state senator and state treasurer who now is a Charleston business entrepreneur. He went to school with Stewart’s older brother, Ted, in Wetzel County.
Loehr said Tuesday that many New Martinsville natives know part of Gallagher’s colorful monologue about Wetzel by heart.
Count the WVU football coach among them.
The exact finishing words of “Oll” that night at the opera house went like this:
“Glorious old Wetzel! Whose sons are brave and daughters fair, and which today produces gas enough to light the world, oil enough to lubricate it, and brains enough to rule it.”
Stewart laughed when told of Loehr making the connection between “Oll” and “Billy.”
“Yes, I’ve known those words for a long time, since I was a little boy, and I know Tommy Loehr,” the WVU coach said. “The old boy, they made fun of him at Fairmont when he said it, and I guess they can make fun of me.
“Gallagher said it about Wetzel County. I said it about West Virginia, all of it. What irritates me is that sometimes I go places and hear people say stuff about West Virginia that’s so far off I want to fist-fight them. We need to be proud of what we have. Our football team is a good example.
December 11th, 2008 at 9:57 am
39
Anon says:
Enough coal…to heat the world
Enough oil…to lubricate the world
Enough brains…to run the world
BUT
NOT Enough teeth…to chew the world
December 11th, 2008 at 3:55 pm