HAMMER, FELL: TUBERVILLE OUT AT AUBURN
Such theatrical genius is a thing of the past, at least in an Auburn hat, that is. Tommy Tuberville has been fired as coach, setting off flirtations with Mike Leach and whomever else you care to mention in association with the job, including Bobby Petrino, Nick Saban, Chuck Bass, Charlie Weis (HA WE KEED), Gerg Robinson, Terry Bowden, Al Borges, Donald Rumsfeld, Phil Fulmer, Tommy Bowden, Rich Kotite, a particularly charismatic overhead projector, a sinister puppet that puts players through macabre torture scenarios, Sylvester Croom, Steve Spurrier, Senator Richard Shelby, Bela Karolyi, Lou Holth, Paul Giamatti (he’s in everything,) Jon Voight reading his lines from Varsity Blues over and over again, the techno-glam band Goldfrapp, and most likely, you.
(But definitely not Charlie Strong. No reason cited. Nope.)









1
Holly says:
It’s Switzer. Don’t you people know anything?
December 3rd, 2008 at 5:20 pm
2
poguemahone says:
Tony Franklin?
December 3rd, 2008 at 5:22 pm
3
That Dog says:
It’s because Strong is a [REDACTED]
December 3rd, 2008 at 5:24 pm
4
Mr.Pelican Pants says:
Did he leave in a pinebox?
Wow, the Saban Effect(tm) has really worked wonders this year, almost Black Magic-like……..either the team crumbles after getting whooped by Saban, or Head Coaches or Asst Coaches get fired or “processed”
December 3rd, 2008 at 5:25 pm
5
CrimsonCommodore says:
@ 4, It’s called “Gettin’ Processed,” MPP, “Processed.”
December 3rd, 2008 at 5:28 pm
6
CrimsonBarrister says:
PROCESSED!
December 3rd, 2008 at 5:28 pm
7
hobeg8r says:
Jimmy Rane.**
He played for Auburn and is a member of the Board of Trustees, isn’t he?
** (a/k/a the Yella Wood guy)
December 3rd, 2008 at 5:31 pm
8
TAFKastOSUB says:
It is hilarious to hear Bama fans claim that Saban got all of these coaches fired…delusional much?
Sure, Saban’s presence has raised the stakes in the SEC West, but coaches getting the axe has more to do with the overall landscape of football in the SEC than it does Saban’s presence.
You don’t see it yet, but the SEC is self-cannibalizing itself.
Be interesting to see where Tubby lands. If it’s an SEC West team, I won’t be shocked…MSU is open.
SEC football…getting more and more like Nascar every year.
December 3rd, 2008 at 5:34 pm
9
Kecalf Bailey says:
Sarah Patterson would make Bela Karolyi her bitch.
December 3rd, 2008 at 5:34 pm
10
Charles says:
The Birmingham News also reported RichRod officially to bama, so I am waiting for something from Auburn.
But, he’s probably out anyway. A big mistake.
December 3rd, 2008 at 5:35 pm
11
crane says:
I hope Saban Takes the Job.
December 3rd, 2008 at 5:35 pm
12
Mr. Shuler Goes to Washington says:
Because if you don’t jump and down…. right, Orson? But seriously, Strong might be a good hire. I cannot imagine how utterly appropriate it would be (and utterly shameful) if Auburn approaches Don Petrino with a serious offer.
December 3rd, 2008 at 5:36 pm
13
Bush001@bama.ua.edu says:
Does that make the Big10 the Craftsman Truck Series?
December 3rd, 2008 at 5:36 pm
14
Mr.Pelican Pants says:
And did he hold up 7 fingers as he walked out?
Lucky bastard, he will get $3 million dollars within 30 days, then $3million dollars over the following year….all in Colonial stock….LOL just kiddin…
Now who do they get to compete with Saban? Who wants to play 2nd fiddle in Alabama?
Dooley, the coach at LA Tech?
December 3rd, 2008 at 5:37 pm
15
Excuse me Stewardess, but I speak jive says:
I’m so tired about hearing about the Saban Effect. Saturday Alabama will find out that it wasn’t that all the teams they played went to the shitter after getting beat by Bama, but that they really just sucked all year and maybe played some cupcakes early, or early injuries, or whatever.
BUT- an injured Forida is still much better than anything Alabama can throw drag out on the field…
now, back to topic, not sad to see Tubby go except for the nervousness that is waiting to see who the Board will select. The overhead projector may not be far off…
December 3rd, 2008 at 5:37 pm
16
poguemahone says:
There would be nothing more positively Sabanic than Nicky taking the Auburn job and razing Tuscaloosa to the ground while feasting on the innards small children and puppies.
December 3rd, 2008 at 5:37 pm
17
BurritoBrosShits says:
Trucker Two-Times needs to coach this team.
December 3rd, 2008 at 5:38 pm
18
Mr. Shuler Goes to Washington says:
Saban disapproves of cow colleges. He’s a rock star, not a tractor mechanic.
December 3rd, 2008 at 5:39 pm
19
hobeg8r says:
Mike Shula….now that would be funny.
December 3rd, 2008 at 5:41 pm
20
NRBQ says:
Interestingly, the WWL still has nothing up on this story.
December 3rd, 2008 at 5:43 pm
21
Mr.Pelican Pants says:
+1 BBS…..
I wonder if they got any video of him carrying his books out to his Hyundai Genesis….
Auburn really needs to hire someone that Alabama fans can automatically hate, right off the bat…they need to get it fixed quick if they are gonna get ANY recruits, right now they are 2 classes behind the eight ball…..Patrick Nix?
December 3rd, 2008 at 5:44 pm
22
Jesus says:
Yeah right, like Notre Dame would EVER let Weis get away from them!!!!! What a coach!
December 3rd, 2008 at 5:44 pm
23
Techie says:
Too bad ND is keeping Weis. They could have made a play for Meyer again and then Florida could promote Charlie Strong to HC.
Everybody’d be happy.
December 3rd, 2008 at 5:48 pm
24
#1 in nation to #2 in state says:
I remember Strong mentioned in Tech’s HC search last year. On 680 or 790, forget which, one of the guys said he wasn’t too high on Strong because “I’ve heard he’s not the first into work in the morning.” Take it for what it’s worth.
December 3rd, 2008 at 5:52 pm
25
Jerkwheat says:
If it’s Chuck Bass, does this mean that Blair Waldorf > Layla Kiffin?!?!
December 3rd, 2008 at 5:52 pm
26
the ex-croominator says:
*please don’t come to State, please don’t come to State, please don’t come to State*
Sorry, the Ole Miss alum in me wants to puke at the thought.
December 3rd, 2008 at 5:53 pm
27
Larry Langolier says:
Auburn needs to hire a woman coach. Equal opportunity, people (but a hot young coach, not someone, you know, Pat Summitt-ty).
Or how about Norm Chow — he’d be the first Asian coach, wouldn’t he? (The Navy coach is Polynesian, that’s not Asian, is it?)
December 3rd, 2008 at 5:56 pm
28
chaimy4life says:
PATRICK NIX FOR AUBURN COACH!!!
LETS SHOW SOME UNITY, LT. WINSLOW!!!
(Please lord, no Leach)
December 3rd, 2008 at 5:59 pm
29
BurritoBrosShits says:
One step closer to Leach in the ESS EEE SEE….. wait, no!!!! NIX!!!! NIX WOULD BE A WONDERFUL COACH!!!!! LEACH IS ONE OF THEM CALEEFORNEEA PEOPLE!!! NIX NIX NIX!!!
December 3rd, 2008 at 6:02 pm
30
DevilGrad says:
Re #24: Orson already covered that with the reference to Allison Goldfrapp. (Shirley Manson would work, too, but that’s just me showing my age.)
December 3rd, 2008 at 6:04 pm
31
TAFKastOSUB says:
No offense, but just who in the fuck does Auburn think they are? Imagine this:
Mark Dantonio @ Michigan State
Beats Michigan 6 times in a row.
Has an undefeated 13-0 season.
Beats a bunch of top 5 teams.
Never has a recruiting scandal.
Never placed on probation.
Runs a clean program w/minimal fulmer cup points.
Yet gets the axe.
Granted Tubberville != Dantonio, but damn…does Auburn really think they can do better?
December 3rd, 2008 at 6:07 pm
32
TAFKastOSUB says:
Side Note Dept.
Tuberville is getting SIX MILLION DOLLARS IN COLD HARD CASH for his troubles…are we really supposed to feel bad for the guy.
I would love to see Tommy come up to Big Ten Country and show us all his wonderful coaching skills – How about swapping with Name Redacted at Illinois?
December 3rd, 2008 at 6:10 pm
33
Dubby says:
hey, i hate to “threadjack” or whatever (for the record i completely agree that Auburn is not correctly answering the question “who the fuck do we think we are?” by firing tuberville)…but i was wondering about last night’s EDSBS live: namely, did it occur, or was it trainwrecked? i usually listen on iTunes b/c i’m a left-coaster and still at work when it airs live.
December 3rd, 2008 at 6:15 pm
34
LSUFreek says:
FUCK!!!!
First Fat Phil, now Big Ears. Weis better not get the axe…
(reaches for bowl with party mix of Zoloft, Prozac, Paxil, Celexa, and Lexapro)
December 3rd, 2008 at 6:17 pm
35
jayd says:
TAFKastOSUB
It is 100% Saban,
If Alabama is 8-4 with losses to Clemson, AU & UT,
at least 3 less coaching searches would have occurred.
You know it,
I know it,
& the American people know it.
December 3rd, 2008 at 6:22 pm
36
Counter Trap says:
Auburn’s rolodex should be limited to two people–Ellis Johnson and Charlie Strong.
Likewise, if Mississippi State is not calling Tubbs, then something is amiss and a Buford Pusser club-to-the-head is called for.
There again, what do I know? I called for Bama to hire Mike Shula in 1997! (Hangs head in shame and slams aforementioned head with a Buford Pusser club.)
December 3rd, 2008 at 6:27 pm
37
Geori says:
Auburn deserves 3 or 4 years in hell for firing Tubbs. May I suggest the milquetoast, Chan Gailey.
December 3rd, 2008 at 6:30 pm
38
West Tex says:
Question: If Tony Franklin’s offense was unsatisfactory to Auburn fans, what makes them think they will like Leach? Not all that familar with the place but I get the feeling that they are conservative in all manners (including playcalling) and I am not sure how they will feel the first time Leach misses on 4th down at his own 30 and uses over exposure to oxygen as the reason why.
http://www.barkingcarnival.com/dedfischer/leach-quote-of-the-week
December 3rd, 2008 at 6:31 pm
39
PortTrojan says:
Auburn AD to coaching applicants: Seven in a row over ‘Bama, or you’re gone.
December 3rd, 2008 at 6:36 pm
40
Counter Trap says:
West Tex–it wasn’t that Franklin’s O was too “librul”–it was that it did not work as advertised.
December 3rd, 2008 at 6:38 pm
41
RIP Logan Young says:
Bama fan here, so I please do not question my pure unadulterated hatred of all things Auburn — but…there is more to the Tuberville situation than meets the eye. That has been a dysfunctional relationship since 2003, like a marriage gone bad, between Tuberville and certain powers that be. They’ve been hating each other silently for years now. Just needed a reason to call it quits.
December 3rd, 2008 at 6:40 pm
42
Rob says:
RIP Logan Young – didn’t Auburn’s president and/or athletic director resign after that little fiasco? I figured all parties put that incident behind them already.
December 3rd, 2008 at 6:49 pm
43
MSR says:
@37,
Yes, both the AD and President resigned, but that most certainly didn’t result in the matter being “put behind” the respective parties.
December 3rd, 2008 at 6:54 pm
44
Mr.Pelican Pants says:
If it couldnt get any worse for Peter Bean…..AU is gonna make a STRONG offer for Will Muschamp for HC…..3 mill to 3.5 mill per year……which is more than the 900k for the coach in waiting salary he is getting….Many want Leech, more want Muschamp…..but Petrino? Really? I mean can the guy really stay more than 9 months at any program???
Couldnt have happened to a “classier” guy…..36-0, ouch……lets see, that Opelika Weekly Reader Mythical National Championship looks good on his mantle, I’m sure…..December Coaching Chase Fever!! Catch IT!!!
December 3rd, 2008 at 6:55 pm
45
MSR says:
By the way, Tuberville comes out of this looking like a damn genius. He bided his time after Jet-Gate to give Auburn the big “fuck you.” Last offseason, he leveraged recent success, flirtation with other jobs, and implicit threats to sabotage recruiting into a contract extension and a $6 million buyout. Less than one year later, he’s collecting on the $6 mil and looking like a martyr who not only went 7-3 against AU’s hated in-state rival but also was fired for refusing to can his longtime offensive assistants.
December 3rd, 2008 at 6:59 pm
46
Jmuthaf'nT says:
I’m sure Auburn will hire the person most qualified for the position
December 3rd, 2008 at 7:01 pm
47
Studley says:
The Golden Flake reference wasn’t far off. Welcome to Tuberville.
http://www.tuberville.org/
December 3rd, 2008 at 7:02 pm
48
Jack Fact says:
Bill Snyder nominates Pat Dye for the job.
December 3rd, 2008 at 7:04 pm
49
DrB says:
Auburn better get Leach or this move will make no sense whatsoever.
December 3rd, 2008 at 7:15 pm
50
North Plano Guy says:
Hey Brosef, I was totally into Goldfrapp before they were cool.
December 3rd, 2008 at 7:31 pm