Greg Robinson is insane…LY OPTIMISTIC, THAT IS.

He sees things every day. Maybe some of you have heard this story before.

Excerpt From Coach Greg Robinson’s Last News Conference

It’s a shame Greg Robinson coached near the arctic circle in a media ecosystem that couldn’t give two firm shits about college football as theatre. Dropping this at a press conference full of Alabama reporters would have been fuuuuuuuun to watch. We think you can, too, coach…BE SOMETHING FOR ME TO POOP ON. (HT: Zibby)

The newest Dauphin may approach the bench. Chip Kelly has been named the latest “head coach-in-waiting” at Oregon, therefore thwarting the market for his formidable talents as an offensive coordinator. You have to wonder if there’s going to be a conference just for Jimbo Fisher, Will Muschamp, and Kelly in the off-season, much like the ones Arthur and the other sidekicks in The Tick used to have where they’d mope around, drink coffee, and complain about not getting the chance to be “full heroes” and their benefits package.

Yarr, methinks a real navy would do. Mike Leach interviewed at Washington, where he really could have his own pirate navy if he decides to take the head job as chief of the smouldering ruins of the Husky football program. Pat Hill and Steve Sarkisian also interviewed for the position, and Hill wore a tie and everything. (’Stache stayed strong, though, we assure you.)

You still have to get him a golf cart. Charlie Weis still wants that golf cart, because he’s getting another year most likely while boosters sell off organs and Siberian logging interests to prepare next year’s buyout in case the return to greatness suffers its 16th straight year of delay.

That guy? He does that. Spurrier did call out Lane Kiffin over a potentially improper recruiting call, you know, just to let him know who’s turning tricks on what corners here in the ESS-EEE-SEE. Spurrier also noticed your hedges are six inches too close to the boundary fence, which is a clear violation of the deed restrictions of this neighborhood, kid, and if you’re even thinking about putting up a Direct TV dish without consulting the local board, you’ve got hell coming your way in buckets.