OPEN THREAD, FIRST SHIFT: OH THE HUGE MANATEE

by Orson on Nov 22, 2008 11:58 AM EST

Ohio State and Michigan already brawling!
Phil Fulmer's swan song a-calling!

The Tarheel State rivalry's grinding!
A GERG'D loss for ND would be blinding!

Florida avenges Pat Conroy,
Harvard and Yale play (sans hoi-polloi)

Tennessee's set to plummet into miserable Vandy-ty
A first shift of madness: OH THE HUGE MANATEE!!!

This is your open thread for the first shift. Enjoy.

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Shit. Corso’s firing guns again.

by Studley on Nov 22, 2008 12:00 PM EST reply actions

Lee Corso misfiring is brought to you by Cialis.

by Orson Swindle on Nov 22, 2008 12:02 PM EST reply actions

Had Corso accidentally killed Herbie, I wouldn’t have been surprised.

by BurritoBrosShits on Nov 22, 2008 12:03 PM EST reply actions

INDIANA-PURDUE INSTEAD OF MICHIGAN-OHIO STATE?!?!?! FUCK YOU ESPN! FUCK YOU RIGHT IN YOUR MOTHERFUCKING EAR!

by Harris on Nov 22, 2008 12:04 PM EST reply actions

Politics aside, I think we can all agree on gun control for Lee Corso. Guns don’t kill people, Corso will eventually wing somebody.

Make it happen, President-Elect. There are more important matters to deal with in college football than a playoff, and this is one of them.

“As my first act in office, I am sending the Guns Up! Bill to Congress. It would keep rifles out of the hands of college football analysts in crowded, live venues. I urge the House and the Senate to pass this important legislation.”

by Signal to Noise on Nov 22, 2008 12:05 PM EST reply actions

Loovall blew a chip shot. Off to a rousing fail of a start.

Harris, I thought that was odd. When was the last time a Meeechigan-tOSU game not televised nationally?

by Signal to Noise on Nov 22, 2008 12:08 PM EST reply actions

I don’t want to watch any of these early games, but since I’m under the weather and grumbly why the hell not?
Raycom, sadly, may have the best game on TV right now.

by BurritoBrosShits on Nov 22, 2008 12:09 PM EST reply actions

I got the “Big Game My Ass” on ABC, not espn.

by BurritoBrosShits on Nov 22, 2008 12:10 PM EST reply actions

I wanted to watch the Citadel game today but no go. I guess its for the best.

by displaced gator on Nov 22, 2008 12:11 PM EST reply actions

Never mind my comment at 6, I’m a moron.

Paul Maguire at 9 AM is too damn early.

by Signal to Noise on Nov 22, 2008 12:13 PM EST reply actions

Magnificent Seven on AMC. Fuck and yes.
BTW, espn360 will carry the scrimmage between UF and the Citadel.

by BurritoBrosShits on Nov 22, 2008 12:15 PM EST reply actions

I’d like to point out that after today, Rich Rod will have cost UM $351,851 for each of his losses this season.

Here’s how I came up with that figure:
- $666,666 per each year of his six year contract to cover the cost of his lawsuit from WVU
- $2.5 million regular salalary
- 9 losses

Oh and note to Harris – did you try ABC? I think it’s a national game.

by David on Nov 22, 2008 12:15 PM EST reply actions

Michigan/Ohio St. is on ABC

by Techie on Nov 22, 2008 12:17 PM EST reply actions

Michigan is showing signs of life.

Of course, I’m also expecting a bench-clearing brawl any moment now. You can see the sparks between the sidelines.

by Techie on Nov 22, 2008 12:22 PM EST reply actions

Thanks for the heads up on ESPN 360. I was supposed to be in ben hill griffin.

by displaced gator on Nov 22, 2008 12:22 PM EST reply actions

Five minutes into the game and the players are already yelling at the coaches. Awesome.

by BurritoBrosShits on Nov 22, 2008 12:22 PM EST reply actions

Fumble the fair catch on a punt, get the ball on the 13 of your opponent and come away empty-handed.

IT’S GREAT! TO BE! A MICHIGAN LOLVERINE!

by Signal to Noise on Nov 22, 2008 12:23 PM EST reply actions

Michigan this year is officially the worst team EVER at fielding kicks. Someone needs to put a compilation video together. The fumbles alone this year would take up 8 minutes.

I swear their fans have been cheering for fair catch signals (even on kickoffs). No longer…

by BadgerMan on Nov 22, 2008 12:26 PM EST reply actions

It’s on ESPN, as it turns out, but not in HD and the ABC affiliate is showing high school fucking football in HD. Fuck, I hate watching football without HD. This is goddamn barbaric. Luckily, Mike Leach’s coaches show is on and I’d rather watch that than the other early games.

by Harris on Nov 22, 2008 12:26 PM EST reply actions

Its on ESPN, as it turns out, but not in HD and the ABC affiliate is showing high school fucking football in HD. Fuck, I hate watching football without HD. This is goddamn barbaric. Luckily, Mike Leachs coaches show is on and Id rather watch that than the other early games.

by Harris on Nov 22, 2008 12:32 PM EST reply actions

Hey! A Brandon Harrison sighting! And he’s not flailing desperately behind a streaking ball-carrier!

by Harris on Nov 22, 2008 12:34 PM EST reply actions

Bill Stewart Face is clearly the college equivalent of Norv Face, and just as enjoyable.

7-0 Loovall.

by Signal to Noise on Nov 22, 2008 12:35 PM EST reply actions

Wilford Brimley wants to put a Hundy on the board before he goes away. Looks like it will happen. Before halftime.

Every team should be able to schedule Indiana for their coach’s last game.

by BadgerMan on Nov 22, 2008 12:35 PM EST reply actions

The one game I watch all year of Big Ten football all year and I’m still shocked at how fucking slow and boring this shit is. How the fuck can people watch this week in and out is beyond me. Its an abomination to the modern game of football as most people know it.

by BurritoBrosShits on Nov 22, 2008 12:37 PM EST reply actions

Did anyone see where Cameron Newton was arrested for stealing a laptop. I know he’s from college park and everything, but could the boosters not have bought him one. And he was dumb enough to log into the schools network with it FTW.

by displaced gator on Nov 22, 2008 12:37 PM EST reply actions

Wow. Big Ten. Ugly. I’ve seen koala fights with more intrigue (like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J2ysSCmGp0s)

Carry on…

by Der Schatten on Nov 22, 2008 12:38 PM EST reply actions

Bah. You twinks need to learn that football also includes something called “defense.”

by Harris on Nov 22, 2008 12:44 PM EST reply actions

Who would win 2007 Notre Dame vs. 2008 Michigan.

by Ry on Nov 22, 2008 12:45 PM EST reply actions

If not for the Beanie Wells touchdown run, neither team would have positive yardage at this point.

by millerto on Nov 22, 2008 12:45 PM EST reply actions

Dear Harris, I’ve known defense, sir. Defense is a friend of mine. You sir, are no defense. /SEC

by Der Schatten on Nov 22, 2008 12:48 PM EST reply actions

Who was the Cal-Poly guy here, S2N?

Should be very, very interesting @ Madison.

by BadgerMan on Nov 22, 2008 12:51 PM EST reply actions

I suppose any SEC fan might be bored after watching high-octane offenses like Alabama, but do try to forgive us heavy-legged midwesterners.

by Harris on Nov 22, 2008 12:56 PM EST reply actions

Jonathan Crompton threw his first interception of the game at the 14:11 mark of the first quarter of UT/Vandy. Vandy committed their first turnover at the 7:00 mark. We can level no criticisms of Big Ten football right now.

by Orson Swindle on Nov 22, 2008 12:59 PM EST reply actions

Orson, granted that’s true, but the hilarity of the turnovers outweighs the utter lack of excitement in the Big Game.

by BurritoBrosShits on Nov 22, 2008 1:00 PM EST reply actions

#32

Alabama is scoring 31.7 ppg, and have scored less than 20 once all year. They aren’t exactly Texas Tech, but they get the job done. And face off against teams that know how to play defense.

by doubtingthomas on Nov 22, 2008 1:00 PM EST reply actions

I am officially a Cal-Poly homer this year and every year forward until we get some kind of playoff system in the FBS. I may even try to make it to a playoff game and see if Holly wants to go with as it is the only team closest for us to see in FCS.

by TheMightyErik on Nov 22, 2008 1:01 PM EST reply actions

BadgerMan – yep, that’s me. I don’t want to guarantee a thing except this: for those of you able to watch the game in Wisky territory — take a look at Ramses Barden, the star WR for Poly. This is an audition game for him. He has swag.

by Signal to Noise on Nov 22, 2008 1:02 PM EST reply actions

Erik – I’m gonna see if I can snag some playoff tix via my place of employment.

by Signal to Noise on Nov 22, 2008 1:03 PM EST reply actions

We are all waiting to see Ramses The Great. Heard something about a TD game-streak, and possible 1st rounder. If they can move him around, the Badger pass D outside of their best CB is quite atrocious. As in letting Michigan pass successfully. This year. Michigan.

BigTenNetwork it is.

by BadgerMan on Nov 22, 2008 1:12 PM EST reply actions

Conference the your team plays in low scoring, turnover filled game – Awful offense

Conference that my team plays in low scoring, turnover filled game – Excellent defense

by DanF on Nov 22, 2008 1:12 PM EST reply actions

Awesome! Where is a good place to get some Mustang gear? Your squad really is the closest FCS team we have to us down here. Kinda strange considering how many Cal State and other schools we have down here and none of em are in the FCS

by TheMightyErik on Nov 22, 2008 1:13 PM EST reply actions

I’ll trust you to never bandy about Pat Conroy’s name so flippantly again, sir.

by Darkknight on Nov 22, 2008 1:14 PM EST reply actions

Badger: Ramses’ TD-in-a-game streak is at 18 games — he now owns a record that belonged to Jerry Rice.

1st round is a bit strong, although who knows how the draft evaluators work. I think he’ll go 3rd-5th round. Someone might take a chance on him early; he’s got 1st round talent.

by Signal to Noise on Nov 22, 2008 1:16 PM EST reply actions

I’m in favor of reneging on Pryor’s decision to switch from Michigan to OSU for this game. Just give him some wings today, for the sake of competitive football.

Might Michigan be able to make first downs this year if Pryor had stuck with them?

by BadgerMan on Nov 22, 2008 1:17 PM EST reply actions

2007 Notre Dame vs. 2008 Michigan: Requiem
“Whoever wins, we lose.”

by CrimsonCommodore on Nov 22, 2008 1:19 PM EST reply actions

Erik: hit up the Poly bookstore online or drive into downtown SLO and find the merch shop on Higuera Street, the main drag. Of course, we have to wait for the FCS selection show to see if Poly gets a home game. (I live 20 minutes by foot from Spanos Stadium.)

by Signal to Noise on Nov 22, 2008 1:20 PM EST reply actions

DanF @ 40

Outstanding explanation of how things work, although I did suspect that to be the case.

Accurate and succinct. Well done, sir.

by Stagecoach on Nov 22, 2008 1:24 PM EST reply actions

CAL POLY, WHAT!!

(No, seriously, we’re going.)

by Holly on Nov 22, 2008 1:24 PM EST reply actions

I see the spread option is still to the tOSU D as fire is to cavemen.

And to Holly—Joe Tiller would be perfect in orange if the Vols could play Indiana 12 times a year.

by Counter Trap on Nov 22, 2008 1:25 PM EST reply actions

I always wondered what football looked like before the forward pass.

Thanks, UT/Vandy! You’re the best.

by ChasingMizzou on Nov 22, 2008 1:25 PM EST reply actions

Stacey Dales is barely coherent.

by gosouthgohard on Nov 22, 2008 1:26 PM EST reply actions

Somebody PLEASE get Stacey Dales off the air…or at least put her back on women’s basketball, where nobody will hear her.

by Stagecoach on Nov 22, 2008 1:27 PM EST reply actions

In defense of lovely Stacey: if you had to deal with the stunning stupidity of Nessler, Griese, and Maguire every week, it would rub off on you too.

Holly: I’m gonna see if the day job gets some comp tix for being a sponsor on Monday and whether I can scam some before sales gets its grubby hands all over ‘em. Otherwise, I’m paying out and hoping there are some nosebleeders left.

by Signal to Noise on Nov 22, 2008 1:33 PM EST reply actions

Watching this UT/Vandy game just pisses me off even more that Auburn lost to Vandy. I hate Chris Todd.

by WarCardinals on Nov 22, 2008 1:37 PM EST reply actions

Gators, the game is on 360 for those not blessed with the Sunshine Network.

by BurritoBrosShits on Nov 22, 2008 1:40 PM EST reply actions

berryberryberryberryberryberryberryberryberryberry
berryberryberryberryberryberryberryberryberryberry
berry
berry.

by Holly on Nov 22, 2008 1:41 PM EST reply actions

Interception #18 for the Gator secondary!!!!
The stream is surprisingly clear today with little buffeting. Am I the only one watching?

by BurritoBrosShits on Nov 22, 2008 1:47 PM EST reply actions

Tebow to Murphy TD!!! Let the slaughter begin.

by BurritoBrosShits on Nov 22, 2008 1:56 PM EST reply actions

BBS—you watching this on 360?

by Orson Swindle on Nov 22, 2008 1:58 PM EST reply actions

Yeah Orson, Holly told me you’re blacked out. Can’t imagine why. We’re in the same coverage area so the only thing I would think to do is reset your browser? You’re not really missing much to be honest. Though they did play Mr. Two-bits last performance. Kinda made me want to cry.

by BurritoBrosShits on Nov 22, 2008 2:02 PM EST reply actions

I know all of you are anxiously awaiting to hear the news of which Dick will start against the Fightin’ Crooms.

Just me?

Yep.

by Jerkwheat on Nov 22, 2008 2:04 PM EST reply actions

Have a Holly Berry Christmas
it’s the best pick of the year
I don’t know if they’ll be blow
but have a glass of beer

Have a Holly Berry Christmas
and when you run down the sidelines
Say Hello to friends you know
and everyone who whines

Oh, ho, the mistletoe
he’s hung where you can’t see
somebody waits for you
shag him once for me.

Have a Holly Berry Christmas
and in case you didn’t hear
oh by golly, have a Holly Berry Christmas
this year

by BadgerMan on Nov 22, 2008 2:07 PM EST reply actions

The ACC factor is in full effect

Clemson is leading UVA and NC State is leading UNC

by kizzak on Nov 22, 2008 2:24 PM EST reply actions

Sunshine Network crew > The Three Daves
I’m not surprised.

by BurritoBrosShits on Nov 22, 2008 2:25 PM EST reply actions

That was until Clemson decided to snap the ball to no one

by kizzak on Nov 22, 2008 2:26 PM EST reply actions

Compliment the Citadel: by the numbers, they’re on schedule to put up an effort comparable to South Carolina.

by Orson Swindle on Nov 22, 2008 2:29 PM EST reply actions

And the mystery of the Dicks has been solved…

Little Dick gets the start over Senior Dick.

by Jerkwheat on Nov 22, 2008 2:33 PM EST reply actions

Felicia will have to comfort Casey and his big ears.

by Signal to Noise on Nov 22, 2008 2:41 PM EST reply actions

And Little Dick leads a td drive to open the game.

7-0 Hogs.

by Jerkwheat on Nov 22, 2008 2:42 PM EST reply actions

Only in the ACC would a team down by a touchdown with 9 minutes left in the game be described as ‘running out of time’

by kizzak on Nov 22, 2008 2:52 PM EST reply actions

Boeckman throws a TD pass…only the heartless wouldn’t feel good for the guy.

by Stagecoach on Nov 22, 2008 2:53 PM EST reply actions

All the game suck so much right now that I’m reduced to watching Harvard-Yale.

by John on Nov 22, 2008 2:53 PM EST reply actions

Citadel just scored a touchdown. huh?

by BurritoBrosShits on Nov 22, 2008 2:54 PM EST reply actions

Nate Dick hit an 87 yard TD bomb.

My head asplode.

by Jerkwheat on Nov 22, 2008 2:56 PM EST reply actions

Has Bob Greise ever seen a football game before?

His idiotic droning on, re: Boeckman losing his job to Pryor, causes me to wonder. It was not Tressel who took Boeckman’s job away, it was the offensive line by way of their pathetic performance this season.

Shut up, Bob!

by Stagecoach on Nov 22, 2008 3:03 PM EST reply actions

Two late interceptions ends the grohmentum and so both UNC and UVA give away games to eliminate themselves from the championship picture.

Now the question is whether VT will also catch the ACC fever and find a way to lose to Duke

by kizzak on Nov 22, 2008 3:12 PM EST reply actions

bill stewart, aloof captain of the SS Failboat

by swampchomp on Nov 22, 2008 3:16 PM EST reply actions

The Apple Cup announcers sound like the guys that did my high school games for local cable access. If I were them, I’d be reveling in the opportunity to announce a game this bad.

The end of Michigan’s sputtering jalopy of a season has given me new life.

by Zone Left on Nov 22, 2008 3:21 PM EST reply actions

Wow, I had mapped out the scenario to place GT in the ACC CG, before the Miami game on Thursday. Unbelievably three of the four necessary games have gone our way. Now we just need VT to drop one more. Unlikely, but before today, I figured UNC going down to either NC State or Duke was the least likely component.

A three loss GT, all three in division, could make the CG.

by skinnyphatman on Nov 22, 2008 3:25 PM EST reply actions

BC Powder commercial

“I got sawdust runnin’ through mah veins!”

That sounds like a pretty serious condition, you may want to get that checked out

by WarCardinals on Nov 22, 2008 3:26 PM EST reply actions

@Phatman

Lot of alums in Tampa? Dear God I hope so…the South Dakota High School championship draws more fans as it is.

by Der Schatten on Nov 22, 2008 3:29 PM EST reply actions

Ummm, CBS decides to use the fact that LSU was down 31-3 to a Sun Belt team as their intro. Shouldn’t they have gone with some Billy Cannon-Archie Manning legends of the past intro like they always do?

by John on Nov 22, 2008 3:31 PM EST reply actions

wow, Wake v Boston College blacked out on ESPN in …Georgia?
who knew?

by meg on Nov 22, 2008 3:33 PM EST reply actions

@Der Schatten

judging by http://www.irp.gatech.edu/apps/factbook/images/Alumni_FB_Map_2007.png , not really… just over 7.5K in the entire state. Beating uga would ensure a good GT turnout, though.

by gosouthgohard on Nov 22, 2008 3:35 PM EST reply actions

It would only be fitting if the Crapple Cup could end in a 0-0 tie. Since that can’t happen, how about another 3-2 finish?

by Signal to Noise on Nov 22, 2008 3:35 PM EST reply actions

Because it’s on ABC, meg

by WarCardinals on Nov 22, 2008 3:36 PM EST reply actions

lulz

Syracuse 10
Notre Dame 3

(pending the PAT)

by WarCardinals on Nov 22, 2008 3:39 PM EST reply actions

7-0 OLE MISS GIGGITY GIGGITY BLOTARKUS MCTOUCHDOWNTARKUS!!!

by Orson Swindle on Nov 22, 2008 3:46 PM EST reply actions

Touchdown Washington!!!!!!!!

by BocaHuskyUWowl on Nov 22, 2008 3:46 PM EST reply actions

Ice Weasel alert.

by sonofsamford on Nov 22, 2008 3:46 PM EST reply actions

Der,
I think GT would draw quite a few fans to the game, especially if the Triple O rolls up UGA next weekend. Really depends on who is on the other side if it would fill up or not. Rematch of GT/Wake from a few years ago, probably better to hit the SD championship game.

by skinnyphatman on Nov 22, 2008 3:47 PM EST reply actions

Sichigan State-Penn State on DirecTV channel 211 for those in ACC markets

GT just needs Dook or Virginia to beat VT to make the ACCCG

BEEEEEESSSSSSSS!!!!

by GoalieLax on Nov 22, 2008 3:47 PM EST reply actions

Mustangs 7, Sally 0

Oh boy.

by BadgerMan on Nov 22, 2008 3:50 PM EST reply actions

@93 – Mole burrows for another score!

Well, a minor victory for Jarrett Lee: he didn’t throw a pick six on the first pass today.

by Signal to Noise on Nov 22, 2008 3:53 PM EST reply actions

@84 Wow. I know 5% of the Georgia Tech alums in South Dakota.

by Der Schatten on Nov 22, 2008 3:57 PM EST reply actions

Would I be a crackpot to root for Wisconsin to lose this game in order to hasten the firing of Al Bundy I mean Bret Bielema?

by BadgerMan on Nov 22, 2008 3:58 PM EST reply actions

Why is the Gerg-Front Butt game the most intriguing to me right now?

by WarCardinals on Nov 22, 2008 4:01 PM EST reply actions

Notre Dame pulls to within 4 of Syracuse.

I just love the way that sounds. It makes me giggle like a little girl every time I say it to myself.

by drifter379 on Nov 22, 2008 4:04 PM EST reply actions

STN – the key is him not throwing one at all. Already, you see Crowton not calling any passes.

by Studley on Nov 22, 2008 4:04 PM EST reply actions

Regarding Bama’s 31 point average…that comes against the weakest SOS of any of the top 5 BCS teams…and it’s not even close. Based on which ranking you look at, Bama is anywhere from 70ish-100ish in SOS. Plus I think they have had a couple of games without a TD on offense. Bama is a fraud. Florida will put an end to that in the SECCG.

Regarding the speed of the Ohio State vs. Michigan game…2 things: 1.) during this time of the year players wear extra clothes which might slow them just a hair. 2.) Laugh if you want, but I’ve done my homework on this one, the cameras for games at Ohio State are way up in the press boxes and in many cases they are able to shoot a wider shot of the field…less camera movement makes it appear as if the players are moving slower. If the cameras are closer to the field and at tighter angles, you get the illusion of more movement and faster movement because the cameras are moving more.

Speed is not the issue…that tired ass theory should be dead.

by TAFKastOSUB on Nov 22, 2008 4:11 PM EST reply actions