Cheech, seriously, get the blow. I don’t care if you have to call Nicholson and phone in a few old favors. You hid a body for him in Juarez, right? Was I not supposed to say that out loud? Shit, I’m sorry, man. Now get the blow before I have to do something stupid like becoming, I dunno…a tv actor, for fuck’s sake.

Bystander: Hey, aren’t you the guy who fought with big stop-motion-animated dolls in your underwear in Clash of the Titans?

Harry Hamlin: FUCK YOU. I’m wearing a white tie. A WHITE TIE. Hang with that, nobodyfuckfaceman!


Happy Mustache Wednesday, motherfuckers!

I never should have done that goddamn movie. They told me Olivier was in it, those lying bastards. I thought he knew better! Cheech, dammit, where is that fucking blow I’m coming down…