It makes sense to me. Both royal dynasties and UT’s coaching tree are highly susceptible to inbreeding.

recruits like a Ponzi scheming con man

Rick Neuhiesel is not impressed. And Willie Martinez joins me and the Sanford Stadium scoreboard operator in begging Tennessee not to hire Mike Leach. Hire a nice defensive-minded fellow who will retain Dave Clawson. Defense totally wins championships, gang.

Man, SEC oldtimers are hilarious, if they had their way we’d be the Big 10 running 1950’s offenses and playing defense, I thought SOS killed most of them, and then Urban sent Tebow in to finish off the survivors, but I guess in the Mountains of TN they survive.

X’s and O’s and Ho’s Dept:

If Tenn does not care about x’s and o’s, then they should go after Charlie Weis, who has proven himself quite a dummy when it comes to play-calling and schematic advantages. Plus, he could fit right into Fullmer’s old orange garb wardrobe and has an obnoxious attitude blah, blah, blah…..

Leach would definitely bring the crazy to the SEC, which it tolerates (read: embraces) well. I guess UT is looking for a slovenly coach that recruits the kind of guys that would get an award for misdeeds named after him. Brian Kelly could be their man. Regal? Not so much.

Spencer, vibrators are allowed in the Heart of Dixie, but only for women with health issues-they make you sign a statement to that effect. There seems to have been a deluge of vag related medical problems lately that only an 11 inch fake schlong can cure. People wonder why we drink.

I wondered how UT would spin Leach turning them down.

So, The Great Pumpkin is now The Royal Gourd?

Regal? And this from a state whose State Food is High Fructose Corn Syrup?

Not to mention Bowden Wyatt & Johnny Majors’ regal consumption of considerable amounts of alcohol.

Leach would be looking at oil tanker schematics right about now if he weren’t playing OU this weekend.

The author of the piece that Joel and Orson quoted, Mike Griffith, is a boob. He’s an incompetent reporter who writes poorly, regularly gets scooped by Chris Low and others, and to top it all off he is an ass on his radio show. Moreover, he’s not a Tennessean. I respectfully suggest that his views should not be taken as speaking for the state or even for a material number of Tennessee fans. Plenty of people want Leach or someone more interesting than the steady diet of nursing home-bland fodder we’ve had for so long.

NativeSon, what have you done?

I just spewed Diet C all over my keyboard.

That makes about as much sense as the whole Jack Daniel’s / Lynchburg, TN thing. Moore County, where the Jack Daniel’s distillery is located, is one of the state’s many dry counties. Therefore, while it is legal to distill the product within the county, it is illegal to purchase it there.

…let the bodies hit the flo…

“No one is going to come into the SEC and win with Xs and Os – it takes talent, not gadgets.”

Yep, thats right, it not like anyone is projecting Michael Crabtree high in the draft. Yep, no one.

“No one is going to come into the SEC and win with Xs and Os – it takes talent, not gadgets.”

I’m [NAME REDACTED] and I approved this message.

I’ll have you know, that it is now ……Duke Jr. & Duchess Lulu.

They immediately got better seats in Neyland.

http://www.regaltitles.com/

I’m pretty sure I disagree with Griffith, but then again I’m not even sure I know what he is trying to say. Is it that Texas Tech is not talented, and actually using mail-order spy store items to execute plays? And aren’t Meyer/Mullen X’s and O’s guys?

Look, Tennessee is a damn beautiful state, but regal is a stretch unless defined by the ability to combine a McDonalds, BP Gas Station, and Laundromat into a one stop shop.

“it takes talent, not gadgets”

Because clearly noone can combine the 2… nope.. Houston Nutt clearly didn’t take Arkansas to the SEC title game or nothin’ running nothing but gadgets…

Regal?

I’d say the Tennessee job is “makeshift porn drive-in in a cornfield” at best. Texas fans naturally think they are IMAX.

The debate is completely moot. Leach is far too intellectual for the cultural baby pool that is Tennessee. I’m sure he knows exactly what he’d be getting into with that fanbase, and I’d venture a safe guess that he wants no part.

For the record: John Adams, Mike Griffith’s editor at the KNS, is pro-Leach. And he’s the dumb-fuckest human being alive. Making the leap that presumes Griffith speaks for the Knoxville zeitgeist is sketchy at best.

It’s not just Tennessee, people in Florida can be snobby about their football also. True story: About 10 or 12 years ago, Mike Leach applied to be the head football coach here in town at Key West High School. He was rejected, because the administration felt that he wasn’t qualified enough for the job. He still comes here for vacation every offseason, and drunkenly tells that story to anyone who’ll listen.

I think Dennis Hopper said it best:

“NNo, Jack – poor people are crazy. I’m eccentric.”

Some of the SEC’s best defenses sure have had a tough time stopping WVU’s “gadget offences” as of late — Georgia (2005), Miss State (2006-07), and Auburn (2008). I think Leach would do just fine.

So he thinks being head coach at Tennessee is “regal?” That explains Fulmer using his royal scepter as a giant Krispy Kreme holder. Or having his minions give him a TREASURE BAAAAAAATH in “History of the World Part One”.

Wow. Football coaches, regal? Very lame.

“offenses”…

Obligatory reference to 2005 season/January 2006 Cotton Bowl.

Just to go ahead and get it out of the way, as I’m not sure if proves much, if anything.

The fucker is halfway from being Vince Gill. All he has to do is throw on a black, Western shirt and sing I Still Believe in You and they’ll love his ass

I pray to God that Tennessee will keep it safe and go for someone like Cuttcliff, RC Slocum, or maybe even some random Bowden. The SEC is tough enough without Leach. Even last year I was quietly hoping that MIles would head to Michigan so that LSU could hire Leach. He would be spectacular in Louisiana — perfect temprament, and my God the things he could do with that much talent. Hey Tennessee, Les Miles has a national championship and looks like a coach! What’a ya’ say?

Les Miles and Steve Spurrier are apparently now neither erratic nor eccentric, because such traits would have precluded their having been successful. UT must simply a more special kind of place than LSU or Florida. (The use of simple and special in the preceding sentence was far from coincidental.)

Have fun losing the right way, Big Peach. (You’re not orange — Clemson is orange. You’re orange light.)

What “athletes” are going to want to play in an “offense” that scores “points?”

As a reference point for Tennessee described as “regal”, see Travis Henry’s latest exploits:

http://www.ajc.com/metro/content/metro/dekalb/stories/2008/11/19/travis_henry_dekalb.html?cxntlid=homepage_tab_newstab

Calling the Tennessee job “Regal” actually makes me think of my first car: a 1980 Buick Regal
It had an 8-Track player; The carberateur needed rebuilding. I had to replace the transmission. The console shifter stopped working on me so I litterally had to grasp the steering column (where the shitter handle was normally placed) and turn the steering column to shift gears. I still had to move the console lever to “R” to get back up lights….
By the time I got rid of it, it was spewing smoke, leaking oil, guzzling gas, and had the front end smashed in an accident….
Well, maybe that sort of describes Fulmer’s 2008 season.

I think that was the “shiFter handle,” but considering the rest of your description, perhaps you got it right the first time.

You see – the pig is committed. The chicken is only along for the ride.

orson, by using the “royal we” in your p.s., aren’t you treading dangerously close to the behavior you criticize here? I’ll let it slide for irony’s sake, bit if it happens again, we’ll call you chicken little.

1. - Actually you can now purchase booze there. They justify it, lawya-wise, by selling them as a ‘souvenirs’ and not booze.

It’s like – I wanna be a collector…but I’m here to party…

knoxville has a zeitgeist!?!! who knew?

They specifically banned vibrators? Wha? You jest.

kleph@38

Are you questioning the “Divine Rights” bestowed upon Princess Holly du Knoxville?

To the dungeon, blasphemer!

Speaking for the rest of the Big 12 I for one would be happy to see Leach go to the SEC. I know those of us in Nebraska have had just about enough of his gadgets thank you very fucking much. Two south nightmares (UT and OU) are plenty for us B12 North guys.

Am I the only one who was watching the Bears vs. Titans game on Nov. 9th when the camera flashed a shot of Mike Hamilton (UT’s AD) and somebody else in a suite?

Lovie Smith was a asst. coach at Tennessee and is fond of Knoxville….

Shhhhhhh…..

…it’s supposed to be triple-top secret until January-ish….

…looking into my crystal ball, I see this next Spring…..

http://i301.photobucket.com/albums/nn53/zrdan/Lovie_Smith_in_2009.jpg

Lovie Smith? I doubt it. I’m sure he’s a decent guy, but I bet UT goes after a relentless recruiter/ young guy that has an offense that can score points, alot of them.

Please, please not Leach. Anyone but him. I don’t want him anywhere near the SEC. He would make the SEC defenses look like the PAC 10’s. Not that either of these guys are candidates, but I’d love it if either Slick Rick or Dennis Erickson ever made it to the SEC.

“He would make the SEC defenses look like the PAC 10’s.”

Again, please see 2006 Cotton Bowl. 3 points until a gift late in the 4th quarter. Don’t assume, look at evidence.

rtr, Hodges and Hicks aren’t exactly Harrell and Crabtree. If OU can beat Tech Saturday, some unlucky SEC team is going to find that out in Dallas.

Bama fans are so insufferable. Mike Leach puts up a gazillion points every year but according to the evidence compiled by the Johnny Cochran of the SEC, that one Cotton Bowl three fucking seasons ago is all one needs to look at to prove that Leach would fail in the SEC.

Isn’t there loony bin in Tuscaloosa? Does it have internet access?

First, Bama had the ball for nearly 40 minutes in that game because TTU’s defense was not very good. Certainly, not as good as what they have this year. Second, they didn’t have QB as good as Harrell or a receiver like Crabtree then either. Third, it was ONE game against the SEC.

If Leach was given the reins at UT and time to recruit, he would be scoring points by the dozens in a few years in the SEC.

Bama also had the best defense in the country that year.
Demeco Ryans (defensive rookie of the year over), Mark Anderson (2nd in defensive ROY voting), Antwan Odom (Currently the highest paid player on the Bengals), Ramzee Robinson (Mr. Irrelevant, but still on an NFL roster), and at least 3 other NFL draftees.
That single game against Texas Tech is not a good one to go by.

@33, Devin.

How apropos. Your link contained the word (sic) “Voluntariness.”

Look, as Tennesseans we own most of the stuff y’all throw our way. And you know this – mannnnn.

Honestly, the suggestion that Tennessee can’t handle “eccentric” is just plain lazy reporting. Griffith actually just buys into most of the schlock an average EDSBS commenter would write on the news that “Leach takes Vols head coaching vacancy.” The fan base/boosters won’t accept him – yeah right. The jorts love HCUM – didn’t take them long to accept a change.

Orson, don’t you believe the hype. You know TN has plenty of the weird-ass freaky $hit you love (and I’m not talking banjo-canoe music – I’m looking at you Georgia). I promise you ML is under consideration, and will take the job if offered the $4M. End of story.

Also – if y’all don’t like it – don’t drink it. Real men drink George Dickel as always – just ask an Okie from Muskogee, Merle Haggard or anyone of his Strangers, as Boomer-sooner as they come an still sippin on that TN sheet.

So there are some Vol fans that would have an allergic reaction to scoring 50+ a game? And a guy that can win at Texas Tech? I will lock myself in a room and pray to the gods of SEC eliteist football fans that Mike Leach coaches in the SEC. 1), So I don’t hear so much about “SEC defenses”, and 2.), Cuz I want to root for a coach against Meyer and Saban.

Maybe UT will be lucky enough to get a coach that is absolutely in lust with his extremely gifted surgeon…….oops quarterback

Now is NOT the time for Brian Kelly or Mike Leach to go to Tennessee. It’s a better job than either they currently occupy from a prestige point of view.

However, it’s not at all difficult to put together reasons why they wouldn’t make the switch. In no order:

1. Leach is in a conference that’s as good as the SEC
2. Kelly isn’t, but it is a BCS conference, and he has arguably an easier row to get to a BCS bowl game from the B.E.
3. They’re both getting plenty of money now.
4. The SEC is stocked with great coaches at the moment – a new coach could perform at the top of his game and still not put up great numbers.
5. Any fears of stepping into a Notre Dame/Michigan scenario, where you get there and find the program is running on fumes?
6. Kelly is the top of the sports heap in Cincinnati [lets the laughter subside], including the two pro sports teams.
7. I don’t buy that Tennessee can’t handle eccentricity, but both of these guys can do pretty much anything they want and not get called to the carpet – so much are they loved for what they’ve done
8. Kelly’s dream job would probably be Michigan. If RRod flames out entirely, Kelly can build his value even further @ UC and then go to UM in 2 or 3 years.
9. UC is in Cincinnati, not Knoxville.

Just kidding on that last one – Knoxvillle seems like a great town. Anyway, I don’t think it’s as much of a slam dunk as Dantonio going to Michigan State 2 years ago.

One more thing from Kelly’s point of view: If he wins on Saturday, the odds of winning the conference are excellent.

If Cincinnati does get an Orange Bowl bid, it would be pretty difficult/unseemly for Kelly to go into that with divided loyalties.

It would be no less “seemly” than the way Kelly left his last job. I’m not sure how well he would recruit, but BK already has SEC ethics down pat.

So in an article about Tenn’s coaching search we get a bitter rant about Alabama’s football coach from Florida’s biggest homer blogger? Someone getting a little worried about Tebow and Harvin getting knocked in the mouth and seeing a repeat of ‘99? Alabama’s two worst coaches of the modern era combined for a winning record agains the best in Florida’s history. Alabama with a good coach?

Alabama won’t spot you 21 points or fall apart in the 4th quarter so enjoying all the media deep throating while you can. It will end for Florida the same way it ended for all the other overhyped teams Alabama has beaten this year.

@58
You demonstrate precisely why Bama fans are viewed the way they are by so many. And why those same people can’t wait for UF to close the book on Bama’s big dream season. Nobody spotted the Gators points – they took them. And if you care to compare common opponents, perhaps you’d realize UA just might be another one of UF’s overhyped opponents. And the one doing the deepthroating – will be you.

Your reading comprehension is obviously substandard, otherwise you would realize O’s description of Saban was a compliment.

Ok lets get down to the real issue with a high scoring TN offence. I stand before you certified hillbilly enuff to criticize. I am from east TN and was born bleeding orange and singing “Rocky Top” at the top of my underdeveloped lungs. However even I might kill myself if I had to sit through a game where we scored 50 points ……. i mean dang it bad enuff when we lose to hear how offten we play that god forsaken tune. Please, I beg of you give us a boring SEC team where 4 td’s is enuff to win. I dont want my head to explode and God knows all the other teams in the SEC will have to drink the Koolaid jim jones style to keep from hanging themselves,

@60

I think I found the perfect candidate for you – Jon Gruden.

As a Bucs fan, i’d like to get him out of Tampa ASAfuckingP, and think Neyland might be a decent place for him. I can guarantee you that he’ll guide you to play a very Tennessee style of football – rarely scoring more than 28 points in a game and winning with defense.

It also plays into my hands as a Gator alum, since he can’t outcoach superior competition.

@#17

Surely you have overlooked the Cold Beer/Fireworks/GAS STATION East Tennessee par-tay stop on I-24.

Nativeson, I can only imagine what you have to deal with every day if being called a “rageaholic mercenary dwarf” and being compared to a “Ponzi scheming con man” is a compliment to you.

We’ll see what happens on the 6th, but if you want to bring up common opponents I can only respond with two words: Ole Miss.

See you in Atlanta.

There is something to the “regal” knock, though. In states without major sports teams (essentially all SEC states but Florida and Georgia) the flagship university’s football coach (or basketball, for UK) carries the imprimatur of head of state (governor being a mere head of government). He is expected to represent all that is good and traditional and masculine in the state. While winning still trumps everything, bringing dishonor on the University/state is totally unacceptable. It also helps if you sell HVAC repair or Ford trucks well.

See: Nick Saban; compare to: Bob Riley.
See: Billy Gillespie: compare to: Steve Beshear.
See: Mike Price: compare to: VP candidate Admiral James Stockdale.

Leach may be a brilliant coach, but he is not ready to be the ambassador that UT wants or needs. This would be the case for virtually any other SEC state/school (Florida excepted; it’s the Yankee transplant of the family and generally eschews dignity). Leach looks like an extra from a Seth Rogan movie, for God’s sakes. I make fun of Tennesseans as much as anyone, but you’ve got to be culturally tone-deaf to look past this point.