IN DEFENSE OF LINDA COHN
Linda Cohn has managed to pull flowers from fallow soil, and for that she needs to be congratulated: a female sportscaster who did not play the giggling yes-girl to her male co-hosts, a solid writer in her own right, and someone who has survived her fortieth birthday without being thrown into the volcano as many television news women are. (For further explanation of this rule, see the “Guido’s Harem” scene from 8 1/2. It explains everything, and features Marcello Mastroianni in a bowler hat wielding a bullwhip.
She’s very good at her job, and we respect her immensely. We have to. We’re what a feminist looks like.
That said, HEY LOOK HER BOOBS!!!


Always, always ask for a light test unless you want dorks on the internet to point these things out. (HT: The Starter Wife.) Also, mad daps for looking that good after two kids and pushing fifty. She’s no Nigella in the midlife-mistress department, but it needs mentioning all the same. BTW, Nigella Lawson can still use us for medical experiments anytime she likes. That’s standing policy.










1
DC Trojan says:
Mmmm, milf-tastic. As if I hadn’t already lost enough time to contemplating Nigella.
November 19th, 2008 at 1:02 pm
2
WarCardinals says:
“Cheesecake” Wednesday
November 19th, 2008 at 1:04 pm
3
Bobby Decatur says:
godammit.
November 19th, 2008 at 1:07 pm
4
Vol says:
We’re just going to have to agree to disagree on this one.
November 19th, 2008 at 1:08 pm
5
Noel Devine's Gold Teef says:
Orson, you ole motor-boatin’ son-of-a-bitch! You old sailor, you!
November 19th, 2008 at 1:09 pm
6
shovel-pass says:
I don’t know. Am I the only one who liked Nigella better when she was a big mess. I kind of like the original. Besides, big girls try harder.
November 19th, 2008 at 1:14 pm
7
The Head says:
My favorite sign when Gameday was at Purdue in ‘04. “We want to bohn Linda Cohn.”
November 19th, 2008 at 1:14 pm
8
gerry dorsey says:
i’m gonna have to agree wih vol @ 4 on this one.
November 19th, 2008 at 1:24 pm
9
BennyBeav says:
If I were ranking them I would say; Nigella with Linda following a close second. And that chick with the glasses is a distant, distant third.
November 19th, 2008 at 1:30 pm
10
Mr.Pelican Pants says:
Did someone say boobs?
November 19th, 2008 at 1:33 pm
11
Gen. Stoopnagle says:
If I watched Sportscenter, and I don’t, I’m pretty sure I would enjoy it less listening to her Brooklynese.
Thanks, but no thanks.
November 19th, 2008 at 1:38 pm
12
poguemahone says:
Remember in the liveblog a few weeks back when I argued Holly Rowe was a 6? Yeah, I confused her and Linda Cohn somehow. I need to lay off the drankin’.
November 19th, 2008 at 1:39 pm
13
www.southbendblarney.com says:
Pac Man Jones would ‘make it rain” for those jubblies. And I wouldn’t blame him.
November 19th, 2008 at 1:42 pm
14
DevilGrad says:
Ol’ Twelve Toes, still gettin’ it done.
November 19th, 2008 at 1:46 pm
15
John says:
I’m going with the brunette in the red tee in the Snorgtees ad over to your right. I’m a youngin’.
November 19th, 2008 at 1:59 pm
16
Phocion says:
I think the ‘Broklynese’ contributes to her cred. Saying all the same worlds with a Georgia drawl might take away from any point she might make. And since she is on TV how she sounds matters.
November 19th, 2008 at 1:59 pm
17
kwaj says:
Nice spectacles…..
November 19th, 2008 at 2:07 pm
18
Mark D says:
I think she hides her awful Long Island accent well. She was on Adam Carolla a few weeks ago, and talked naturally without trying to mask it at all. She sounded like she had high hair, acid wash jeans and Lee press on nails. I’d say her voice was like fingernails on a chalkboard, but that’s not being fair to the fingernails.
November 19th, 2008 at 2:13 pm
19
Stacy Keibler Luvs Me says:
Borat meets Bart Simpson Dept:
Nigella, cowabunga!….
..Linda Cohn…not so much…
November 19th, 2008 at 2:15 pm
20
Cleat Meat says:
Nigella is all that now, but fact is, her body is one of those super-compressed sponges that’s just waiting for a single drop of water to swell it the size of a shoebox. Linda, god bless her, is so real I can smell the borscht from here.
November 19th, 2008 at 2:15 pm
21
NativeSon says:
@11
I’ve always felt she stifled her Brooklyn accent pretty well on TV. On radio it’s an entirely different Linda.
fwiw, Cindy Brunson is my chosen WWL Babe.
November 19th, 2008 at 2:19 pm
22
Last Dragon says:
@4 and 8 – Ditto. I don’t get it…….
November 19th, 2008 at 2:34 pm
23
swampchomp says:
HURR HURR ARP ARP
i feel like that was obligatory. now we can all await the anticipated Holly Rowe nipslip
November 19th, 2008 at 2:45 pm
24
sb says:
C’mon guys…she’s female, not fat, reasonably attractive and likes sports. Besides, being female gives her certain obvious attributes you won’t find with your drinkin’ buddies, so what’s not to like? Get real…we’re not gonna find a sports babe that looks like Giselle Bundschen and pulls you down to scrump under the pool table…
November 19th, 2008 at 2:51 pm
25
Mich-Placed Gator says:
approaching GiLF-dom, but I’d most likely hit that….
Oh, who the fuck am I kidding….I’d tear that stuff up!
and 7…really? I missed that GameDay I suppose, but that’s some funny shiite.
November 19th, 2008 at 2:53 pm
26
Der Schatten says:
Yes to Linda. HELL YES to Nigella. Women are supposed to be soft, curvy and pillowy pillowy goodness. The 80’s and 90’s heroin chic fucked us all up, I think.
Just remember, fellas’, Kathy Ireland was a size 12, and Scar Jo’s measurements are 36-25-38 (D cup on a 5′1″ frame).
November 19th, 2008 at 3:13 pm
27
Der Schatten says:
ecce signum:
http://ayyyy.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2007/10/nigella-lawson-breast-supporting-dress.JPG
November 19th, 2008 at 3:16 pm
28
GamecockTony says:
Der Schatten – you seem to know a little too much about all this.
God, I admire you.
November 19th, 2008 at 3:23 pm
29
Phocion says:
I don’t know, I think Dana Jacobson might be more my type..
http://img186.imageshack.us/img186/1136/23064221mikemikeroastid5.jpg
November 19th, 2008 at 3:33 pm
30
Harris says:
Nigella: Big or small, I’d happily kill or die to yodel in that valley.
Linda: You can’t eat crackers in my bed, but we can still violate several outmoded laws on sodomy.
Rachel Nichols: I need a ruling from the congregation.
The chick with the glasses: Eh. A mouth’s a mouth.
November 19th, 2008 at 4:00 pm
31
PeterPumpkinhead says:
Harris -
Hell yes
That’s kind of tough on her, don’t you think
Not without a HAZMAT suit on
and, eeewwwww
November 19th, 2008 at 4:20 pm
32
OhioDawg says:
I’m sure it’s been said already, but: I’d hit that!
November 19th, 2008 at 4:53 pm
33
Geaux Irish says:
Re: Harris @ #30:
I’ll take a pass on RN. Everytime she’s reporting on the Jets or the Giants, she always has that long red hair pull around to one shoulder. It’s like she’s posing for her 8th grade yearbook picture. No thanks.
November 19th, 2008 at 5:00 pm
34
Paragon SC says:
Very Nice!
I want that!!
November 19th, 2008 at 5:09 pm
35
der schatten says:
RE: Rachel Nichols: She needs a cheeseburger and a Guinness in a BIG TIME way.
Perfect woman (and not just b/c she looks like my gal, but it does help): Patricia FREAKIN Day of the Horrorpops
November 19th, 2008 at 5:17 pm
36
Wolf In The Ozarks says:
I officially vote for Stacy Dales. Not sure why but I love her. And Suzy Colber.
November 19th, 2008 at 6:26 pm
37
Mangino_ate_my_baby says:
HOORAY!!! for Linda. As a female sports lover, I’m happy to see her be grateful & enjoy having the most kick ass job ever-unlike another Cee U Next Tuesday w/ bad extension’s & a nasty attitude who gets paid to watch football every weekend but still rolls her eyes & bitches every time I see her on the sidelines, but never on camera of course (that’s what her boobs are for). Like how I turned Linda Cohn into a personal rant a/b Erin Andrews? Oopsies, did I say that?
November 19th, 2008 at 6:31 pm
38
Studley says:
Wolf In The Ozarks @ 36: +11. That’s a combo I’d love to get into.
November 19th, 2008 at 7:31 pm
39
chg says:
16- All a matter of perspective. I can’t take a Brooklyn accent seriously, and I certainly don’t associate it with cfb knowledge.
Also wouldn’t touch Linda Cohn or the cooking lady, as I happily endorse the much derided (on EDSBS) thin woman. It’s popular to criticize Maxim types as unrealistic for the same reasons people publicly proclaim they never watch TV or don’t even own a television.
It’d be nice if more men actually meant it though- more potential competitors chasing “real” women would make it a lot easier to get all the supposedly unrealistic skinny with nice figure types you can find on a typical Wednesday in Athens.
November 19th, 2008 at 8:33 pm
40
John says:
This is soooooo wrong, but here’s my WWL Top Ten:
(1) Rachel Nichols, (2) Stacy Dales, (3) Bonnie Bernstein, (4) the criminally underrated Wendy Nix, (5) the somewhat underrated Lisa Salters, (6) the pretty overrated Erin Andrews, (7) Suzy Kolber, (8) Hannah Storm, (9) Linda Cohn, (10) Dana Jacobson
If expanded to all networks, Tracy Wolfson would be between Bernstein and Nix and Mellisa Stark would be between Nix and Salters.
November 19th, 2008 at 8:37 pm
41
BamaCPA says:
Gotta go old school here…. Gayle Gardner from way back in the 80’s. A big bosomed redhead who knew her sports. Whoa Nellie !
November 19th, 2008 at 9:53 pm
42
iglass says:
I met Linda on a personal ESPN tour recently, and in fact was introduced to her by Rece Davis. Super nice lady.
November 19th, 2008 at 10:28 pm
43
Raider Red says:
John,
That list (not necessarily in that order, though) needs to be posted on Sporcle.
November 19th, 2008 at 10:55 pm
44
Signal to Noise says:
Harris @ 30 – Rachel Nichols never seems to blink. For this, I vote no.
Linda Cohn is not only a total professional, but she sounds like she’s snuck a flask of whiskey or two into the arena while watching hockey games. That alone is worth a “si, si, si!”
November 19th, 2008 at 10:58 pm
45
Duhhh says:
A little peek at Linda’s lace bra? Meh! Now, if you had the exclusive picture of her TOES so we could count them (hey, there’s an extra piggy!) you’d have a real scoop!
November 20th, 2008 at 12:24 am
46
PDXgonegator says:
Linda is great. She’s better than at least half of the guys who anchor Sportscenter.
And Rachel Nichols…if you watch closely, she does this thing where she opens her mouth extra wide when she says the “N” in “ESPN.” It’s weird, but i will sit through a whole piece on a team i don’t care about just to see her do that. What’s that all about?
November 20th, 2008 at 3:24 am
47
InsaneCoachPosse says:
Orson – are you supposed to be a feminist in the “Sport Dyke” or in the “lipstick lesbian” manner?
November 20th, 2008 at 1:32 pm
48
mordecaibrown1908 says:
Totally agree with you on Linda, who has become much more glamorous and sexy as she’s gotten older. What’s more, I’m pissed since I live in L.A. and missed this interview last week. You wouldn’t happen to have video and/or more caps from the broadcast, would you? You know, for … research purposes.
November 24th, 2008 at 10:56 am
49
kmac2055 says:
As you said she is pushing fifty, but Linda is still best anchor on Sports Center and by far the most attractive, Linda is the perfect combination, good at her job and totally hot and sexy.
December 27th, 2008 at 5:36 pm
50
Tarheel-Man says:
And as always, I have noticed, Linda has a great rack, as demonstrated in the zoom in. You don’t have to look for these puppies!!!
February 25th, 2009 at 7:56 pm