CURIOUS INDEX, 11/19/08
 |
||
|
ESPN FTW. ESPN bids in for the broadcast rights to the BCS from 2011–2014. YAY PAM WARD! “Michigan State has to spike.” “It’s fourth down.” Rock. This will be the first major sports championship game broadcast on cable, a truly momentous first for people who still differentiate between “cable” and “television.” (I.E., your grandmother.) Lucifer shakes his fist in hell or perched atop the heavens. Steve Spurrier, who lost by fifty points this past weekend, proves that the Morning Star shines his own light whether he’s up or down (by fifty. At his old office.) “I saw Charlie Weis on TV today. He’s happy as he can be Notre Dame has got their sixth win and they’re bowl eligible,” Spurrier said. “Sometime you have to keep everything in perspective.” His roll remains unslowed. If anyone was watching Gameday last Saturday, please send us a screencap of the ludicrous glass sculpture mounted on the wall behind Spurrier during his interview segment. It was red as blood, the size of a flattened piece of roadkill, and looked like a Chihuly original. We thought it was mescaline flashback material until Holly said she saw it, too. The Peter North Trophy. The Godfrey Show would like to point out that the Magnolia Trophy looks a lot like a gushing penis caught at the moment of ejaculation. And what about this isn’t appropriate for the Ole Miss/LSU rivalry? You may remember him using a dead woman’s credit card. Jamar Hornsby, booted from Florida for using a teammate’s dead girlfriend’s credit card for months after her death, is being advanced new potential lines of credit by Ole Miss, Kentucky, and Alabama. You dancing queens, you. Miami fans, tailgating, and Windows Movie Maker: it’s high time they came together. |
||
 |
||
Loading ...
1
HeadThief says:
Good to see Hornbsy is getting a second chance. It was just identity theft of a teammate’s dead girlfriend. It’s not like he posted a racial slur on his facebook page or anything bad like that.
November 19th, 2008 at 9:47 am
2
Chg says:
The fact that Ole Miss and LSU felt obligated to name their game is more shameful to the conference than anything Tennessee or Auburn has tried to pass off as “football” Are students going to start wearing jerseys to the game too?
November 19th, 2008 at 9:47 am
3
NativeSon says:
Disasters such as that trophy are the reasons I’m thankful UF doesn’t play for some token like an ax or a fucking jug. My guess, and it’s only a guess, is that the players couldn’t give a shit and only run around with it after the game to get on TV.
November 19th, 2008 at 9:50 am
4
Ted says:
I prefers some Pam Ward to *hoooly cow* Mike *you can’t be serious* Patrick *I wonder what Britney’s up to?*. At least MP’ll probably just do the Fiesta bowl with some non-BCS team and a 3 time loser like Cincinnati.
Hey lets not forget that droid with Andre Smooth Ware. Can’t you just see them paired in Sugar Bowl? My ears can’t wait.
What about Larry Coker, he’s fun? Slot him for the Orange Bowl, because I always fall asleep during that long ass boring halftime show anyway.
Can’t wait for Brent “The Drama Unfolds” Mustberger and his dirty old man routine in the BCSCG.
If we’re going to discriminate then lets wack them all.
November 19th, 2008 at 9:53 am
5
Matt says:
“This will be the first major sports championship game broadcast on cable…”
What are you talking about? ESPN televises the World Series of Poker. ::SnickerSnicker::
November 19th, 2008 at 10:04 am
6
hobeg8r says:
So if Urban had let Jamar back on the team, the outcry (from O and others) would have come raining down.
But if Giggity, Satan, or Brooks does it, are we okay with it?
Unlike the sarcasm in Post 1, I am glad to see second chances given. It wasn’t a crime of violence – he didn’t hit a girl with a chair – that is for my neighbors to the north; he didn’t sell crack cocaine; he didn’t sexually assault a female athlete. There are worse things done by players who are still playing.
November 19th, 2008 at 10:07 am
7
Kevin@LSU says:
About 12 people wanted to name the game, and they all are in student government.
November 19th, 2008 at 10:14 am
8
DevilGrad says:
Sir –
As a long-suffering MAC fan who has recently endured ESPN’s wretched “Interactive Tuesday” broadcasts, including the execrable Douchebag Scroll at the top of the screen, I have found myself nostalgic for Pam Ward’s broadcasts. There are worse things, and, alas, I have seen them.
Regards, etc.
DG
November 19th, 2008 at 10:16 am
9
CapstoneAlum says:
hobeg8r, to answer your question..no, we are not okay with it. If Alabama brings this kid in..I hope AU stomps a mudhole in our ass..FL destroys us..and we end up in the Sugar Bowl giving Ohio State their first victory over an SEC team. I love the University, and the football team, but I will quit watching and supporting them if this asshole is on the team.
November 19th, 2008 at 10:25 am
10
One And Done says:
Pam Ward….. thanks, affirmative action.
I know Orson has said this before but for Christ’s sake if you’re going to be ugly as sin, at least be a good announcer.
November 19th, 2008 at 10:33 am
11
Crabapple Buck says:
Now it is official, the WWL will no longer mention playoffs in a positive way.
In the Big 10/11, there is a rule that you cannot be on scholly if you transfer within the conference. Looks like the SEC could use that rule. Is Jax St full? I thought they were the school of choice for miscreants.
Thanks Ted. You mention Andre Ware in your post and my ears are already bleeding. If he thought Tressel was running up the score on Northwestern, he better not ever witness a Florida game.
November 19th, 2008 at 10:37 am
12
Mark D says:
The BCS games will most likely air on ABC. A couple of years ago, Disney merged ABC Sports into ESPN. It would be idiotic, given the amount of money they paid, to air the games on a cable network and not the broadcast network, which reaches far more homes. Advertising is worth less on ESPN.
November 19th, 2008 at 10:38 am
13
DevilGrad says:
Re #12: That’s only half the equation. The household differential isn’t what it used to be, now that 84% of US homes have cable or satellite, and, unlike ABC, ESPN can charge cable operators a monthly fee for carrying its programming. Having marquee events like the BCS games may help them negotiate fee increases or, in the current economic environment, stave off attempts by the cable companies to bargain them down.
Similarly, ABC/ESPN announced this week that it is pulling the British Open off ABC to make the coverage cable-only.
Rest assured that the Mouse will make the decision that it believes maximizes its total return, and it appears to have decided that carry fees are a better source of revenue these days than having 100% of its cash flow ride on the ability to sell network ads in a shitty market.
November 19th, 2008 at 10:44 am
14
Irwin Fletcher says:
Broken link for the Miami-Tailgating-Windows MovieMaker “dancing queen” triumvirate?!?
Sounds too intriguing to pass up although my imagination may oversell the actual a bit.
November 19th, 2008 at 10:46 am
15
Stacy Keibler Luvs Me says:
Reason # 1,236 that Steve Spurrier is “The Man” Dept:
Spurrier’s back-handed ‘compliment’ on Chubby Weis was a thing of genius. Made me laugh….
November 19th, 2008 at 11:45 am
16
Terry Tate, Office Linebacker says:
Related to trophies, why do more and more games nowadays have to be for some prize? I totally understand many traditions like the Commander-in-Cheif’s Trophy between the service academies. I can even handle some traditions like the Battle for Paul Bunyan’s Axe. But for fuck’s sake- I had to watch the battle for the Keg Of Nails the other night. What are we starting here? Can’t people just be happy to win a game and chalk up a “W” ?
November 19th, 2008 at 11:55 am
17
Brian O'Blivion says:
Just fucking great. Now I get to hear about how the BCS “stirs up conversation” and “creates national interest” and “the regular season is the playoff” on the WWL for the next 6 years. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
November 19th, 2008 at 12:19 pm
18
DevilGrad says:
I’m okay with trophy games where the trophy is (a) more than 100 years old or (b) has a slightly less lengthy history that includes acts of vandalism or theft. But newly created one blow.
November 19th, 2008 at 12:23 pm
19
Larry Langolier says:
Opportunity exists for new and innovative “trophy” games — The Battle for the Greased Running Chainsaw, The 15 Angry Rattlesnakes Game, etc. Want to get the student-athletes hyped? Winner gets to expunge one non-felony from each of their collective records.
November 19th, 2008 at 1:06 pm
20
cities were great says:
Rest assured that Rich Brooks has no time for this shit, aka Jamar Hornsby.
November 19th, 2008 at 1:14 pm
21
formerlyanonymous says:
not even one person noticed women wrestling was a related video to the pam ward video? that shit was oddly… stimulating.
November 19th, 2008 at 1:20 pm
22
www.southbendblarney.com says:
Steve Spurrier taking shot at teams when he was hangin 50?
Funny.
Steve Spurrier taking shots at teams when 50 is getting hung on him?
Still funny, but in a senile old man way. It’s cute.
November 19th, 2008 at 1:53 pm
23
The Snake will Drive Again! says:
#9 – I think I’ll send Mal Moore an email questioning the decision to offer this kid. Of course, has the offer actually been verified? I remember the kid that had a press conference announcing he was going to Cal, and no one from Cal had ever heard of him, much less recruited him. Could he be making it up so other programs gain interest? I certainly hope so. I would prefer him to go to Ole Miss.
November 19th, 2008 at 2:06 pm
24
Socraticsilence says:
Ole Miss doesn’t play us in the next 3 years- if I’m Hornsby that’s where I go because I just have a feeling Urban (and the refs to be honest here) might look the other way if a Gator Auburn-blocked* Hornsby.
*Auburn-blocking- its like chop-blocking but more blatant
November 19th, 2008 at 2:17 pm
25
socraticsilence says:
Don’t worry Southbend, Spurrier only takes shots at inferior coaches (seriously, Spurrier with your offense and the Emu- ND might even be able to win a bowl game).
Hey, we Gator fans can laugh about him getting 50 hung on him, and UGA et al can laugh because they could never do it themselves, but ND- don’t mock the man, he’d still drop 50 on the Irish- this year if they played.
November 19th, 2008 at 2:21 pm
26
the croominator says:
I don’t trust this “Magnolia Trophy” one bit.
It was LSU’s student gov’t that proposed “naming” the rivalry.
It was an LSU senior art major that designed the trophy.
I mean, LSU wouldn’t deliberately throw a game just so Ole Miss would be stuck with a giant wooden ejaculating dildo for a whole year, essentially saying “Fuck you, Ole Miss…fuck you with a giant LSU-made dildo,” would they?
WOULD THEY?
November 19th, 2008 at 4:16 pm
27
SpartanDan says:
Hey, my team’s playing for the ugliest trophy in the entire known universe this weekend: the Land Grant Trophy (in a totally contrived rivalry because the Big Ten decided someone had to be Penn State’s “natural rival”).
At least Minnesota’s trophies (aside from the Victory Bell) are good ones. Paul Bunyan’s Axe? Awesome. Floyd of Rosedale (a bronze pig named after the then-Governor of Minnesota)? Cool. The Little Brown Jug? Sounds silly, but the history behind it (Yost left it behind after a game and asked for it back a couple years later; Minnesota’s response was “if you want it, you have to win it”) is at least interesting.
November 19th, 2008 at 5:23 pm
28
Kecalf Bailey says:
Can someone photoshop that trophy into Les Miles’ mouth?
November 19th, 2008 at 6:26 pm