STEVE SPURRIER, ADULT FILM IMPRESSARIO
Cock and Fire Studios, Columbia, South Carolina.
Steve Spurrier:…and…..ROLL!
Steven “The Snake” Garcia: You like that baby? Oh, yeah, let’s do this…
They begin their scene. Garcia gets into rhythm.
Garcia: YEAH! That’s right baby. Deep and down the middle. Cock! A-doodle! DOOOOOOOO—
Steven: —CUT! Okay, go in Chris.
Chris: But I’m not, you know…ready.
Spurrier: We gotta keep her guessin’! Get in there!
Steven: But I was just startin’ to get her cookin’, brah!
Spurrier: STEVEN! BENCH! NOW! Aaaaaaaaand…ROLL!
Chris: Maybe, you know, we could just cuddle, and then work up to things here…
Spurrier: CUT! TIME OUT!!! Chris, you gotta get in the game here. We’re switching you in to get them confused! She just looks bored. I want her to be guessing! You sit down now.
Chris: (shrugs shoulders, sits)
Spurrier: Garcia, you’re in!
Garcia: Fuck yeah, coach! Top Cock, ready to strut.
The scene resumes in thunderous fashion.
Garcia: Come on! Yeah! Coach, you want me to finish this cinnamon bun off with some frosting?
Spurrier: –AND CUT!!! Naw, that’s just what they’re expecting! I use two guys a scene. At least two.
Beecher: Me? What about me, coach? When do I get in?
Garcia: No way I’m doing a scene with him. There’s no telling where he’s gonna put it, man.
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1
pfingers says:
wow…
November 13th, 2008 at 1:43 pm
2
Holly says:
Hilarious, because, ENTIRELY PLAUSIBLE.
November 13th, 2008 at 1:44 pm
3
Mich-Placed Gator says:
Say WHAAAAAA???
“Yeah, we try to get him away from Bojangle’s,” Spurrier said. “Don’t get mad at me, Bojangle’s — they’ve got some good chicken.”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NDP-JOf9PtQ
November 13th, 2008 at 1:45 pm
4
CincySooner says:
Spurrier: OK Beecher, you’re in
Beecher: Wheeeeeeeeee!!!
Spurrier: OK Beecher, you’re out…
Beecher: Aww c’mon coach
Spurrier: Son, you were porkin’ a potted plant ferchrissakes
November 13th, 2008 at 1:51 pm
5
Bobby Decatur says:
Jesus that’s parallel.
November 13th, 2008 at 1:56 pm
6
bevo says:
Utterly disturbing. The only questions remaining are (1) who is the Colonel and (2) who is Rollergirl?
November 13th, 2008 at 2:04 pm
7
Will Q says:
This is one of those posts that makes me sad that I don’t have any acquaintances familiar enough with opposing teams’ rosters to see the comedy in this.
November 13th, 2008 at 2:09 pm
8
Houston's Nutts says:
yawn.
November 13th, 2008 at 2:14 pm
9
Holly says:
Spurrier’s ballboy son is clearly Rollergirl.
November 13th, 2008 at 2:16 pm
10
Signal to Noise says:
Odds Smelley winds up in Reseda, bloody and beaten after trying to get johns on the street?
About even.
November 13th, 2008 at 2:17 pm
11
KYGator says:
I just missed most of a lecture biting my tongue and then trying to figure out how to make a comment sound like THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE.
November 13th, 2008 at 2:22 pm
12
Mark says:
So is Urban doing Macy’s wife in the driveway?
November 13th, 2008 at 2:23 pm
13
vegas_buckeye says:
/slow clap
November 13th, 2008 at 2:25 pm
14
DrB says:
Fantabulous.
November 13th, 2008 at 2:27 pm
15
Dr. StrangeCock says:
I guess this means Bobby Petrino was Amber Waves?
November 13th, 2008 at 3:35 pm
16
Brian O'Blivion says:
I expect SOS to get them both in the scene at the same time for a little DP* action.
* Double-pass
November 13th, 2008 at 3:39 pm
17
Der Schatten says:
Does that make Giggity Marco Fiorito?
November 13th, 2008 at 4:24 pm
18
DrBundy says:
Great. Now I’m gonna have “Sister Christian” stuck in my head all evening.
November 13th, 2008 at 5:31 pm
19
Gail says:
And of course Spurrier is wearing is visor the entire time.
November 14th, 2008 at 12:17 pm