OPEN THREAD/TINY FACTORLY PREVIEW: VIRGINIA TECH AT MIAMI
This here be yr thread for congregatin' and bloviatin', HokieCane-steezy. A scant preview:
Category one: Nebulous Statistical Comparisons of Dubious Validity.
VT: 6-3, 3-2 conference. MIA: 6-3, 3-2 conference. Advantage: Eh?
Category Two: Mascot.
Advantage: Miami. It's a fucking hurricane.

Like a doll's eyes.
Miami, you've been factor'd!
Category Three: Aura.
No Metallica entrance here, not that the Hokies deserve such awesomesauce this year. Advantage: Miami.
Miami, You've Been Factor'd!
Category Four: Names.
VT: Jahre Cheeseman, Alonzo Tweedy, Germond Oatneal. Very Upstairs/Downstairs of you, sirs. Miami: Cannon Smith (yes, of course he's a quarterback), Harland Gunn, which sounds like a Raymond Chandler character if Raymond Chandler wrote about O-linemen. Advantage: VT, but it's close.
Virginia Tech, You've been factor'd!
Grudges? Scores to settle? Sheer cussedness?
Miami's lost two in a row and four of the last five.
Miami, you've been factor'd!
EDSBS FACTOR FIVE FIVE FACTOR PREVIEW SUM: 2-2, which we're calling for Miami owing to VT currently fielding a potted plant at quarterback. Please place your bets for the Hokies accordingly. Bonsoir, boys.
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3-1 Miami = 2-2 due to Miami being on Tiny Factor probation :(
by Rawk on Nov 13, 2008 6:01 PM EST reply actions
Oh, good fucking night, did I really just do that? I did. I really did.
ESS EE CEE CRANIAL SPEEEED.
I’m leaving it up there in testament to this stupid week.
by Holly on Nov 13, 2008 6:15 PM EST reply actions
It was a beautiful disaster of a mistake, Holly, for it gave us the potted plant joke. Which, honestly, is why I think you don’t want to edit it out.
by Rawk on Nov 13, 2008 6:17 PM EST reply actions
It’s more that I don’t trust myself to edit it out correctly at this point.
by Holly on Nov 13, 2008 6:25 PM EST reply actions
Everyone come join the Rawk and Holly massive-time-delay-super-un-liveblog for this game.
Where: This comment thread
When: Whenever you find this post
How: Someone else actually posts in this thread
Until: It’s probably already over. Or is it? You find out.
by Rawk on Nov 13, 2008 6:38 PM EST reply actions
The rest of the country will be watching Pats vs Jets, thank you. Well those of us in the local area, or who have NFL network.
by Brian on Nov 13, 2008 6:48 PM EST reply actions
No bored/liveblawg? Rather than an open thread, you can come join us cool cats in the liveblog over at Dr. S’s joint
by poguemahone on Nov 13, 2008 6:50 PM EST reply actions
Somehow turning 3-1 into 2-2 is appropriate when talking about the ACC.
by Graysnail on Nov 13, 2008 7:05 PM EST reply actions
I’m a Miami fan and a Jets fan. I have been dreading tonight for about 3 weeks. So much to lose, so much less to gain. I’ll be watching Miami because they are playing my hated alma mater.
poguemahone, you should cleverly post again and put that URL to that mystery liveblog under website so I can find it. I promise to delete wherever I go from my internet cache.
by Rawk on Nov 13, 2008 7:06 PM EST reply actions
Fun little tidbit: Cannon Smith (who will one day assuredly assume his place in line to hold the title of “Nerdy White Quarterback at Da U”) is the son of FedEx CEO and former Marine, Fred Smith.
by Bobby on Nov 13, 2008 7:07 PM EST reply actions
2-2 = parity! The ACC is full of parity! So many top 40 teams! 14-0 vs the FCS this season! Pro prospects? Fuck that noise! Who needs ‘em? And you can’t take our Orange Bowl bid away! It’s the law!
by Rawk on Nov 13, 2008 7:09 PM EST reply actions
ACC Football: NFL talent running around the field, in a disoriented jumble, on both sides of the ball (Not 3-2 Barn-Croom, but…)
VT 16 Da U 17
by Der Schatten on Nov 13, 2008 7:36 PM EST reply actions
I’m sorry, this craptacular uniform display may result in my blindness at the end of the night. Thanks Nike.
by OrangeGator on Nov 13, 2008 7:50 PM EST reply actions
You want to know the ultimate irony? You’ve actually improved since you admitted incompetence.
by This Guy on Nov 13, 2008 7:56 PM EST reply actions
Fowler, are the defenses really dominating or are the offenses just horribly inept?
Oy. I feel that this is my duty to watch as a Tar Heel fan, but Guitar Hero: World Tour looks more promising right now.
by SuperJew on Nov 13, 2008 8:06 PM EST reply actions
Here’s how lazy I am: I’ve got a freelance gig lined up. The editor wants to see clips and a resume because he’s going to try to talk me into taking a permanent position. And i don’t want to do because it means I have to update my resume. I fucking hate updating my resume.
by Harris on Nov 13, 2008 8:47 PM EST reply actions
I think it was alot more exciting when these teams were in the Big East.
by sean on Nov 13, 2008 8:51 PM EST reply actions
@16 – that is the very reason why I am still at the job I am. Sure, there are better jobs out there, ones I might actually enjoy and be relatively successful doing, but I just don’t want to update my resume or, God forbid, write a cover letter.
by West Tex on Nov 13, 2008 9:00 PM EST reply actions
Harris…the resume never kills me, but damn cover letters to hell…
And fuck the U for reminding me that Jim Kelly played for them…
by OrangeGator on Nov 13, 2008 9:02 PM EST reply actions
Harris—SERIOUSLY. I will spend nine hours making three minutes of alterations to my reel, but open up a document and type words in it? Meh.
by Holly on Nov 13, 2008 9:07 PM EST reply actions
Not only does Nick Saban not have time for this shit, he also does not give a shit. At least according to what he just said on his radio show, live…
“And I don’t give a shit who we’re playing…”
by Tater Salad on Nov 13, 2008 9:11 PM EST reply actions
I’ve already decided I’m not writing a cover letter because 1) I’m unprofessional and 2) I’m not doing that much goddamn work for a freelance gig. Honestly, if I had to write a cover letter I probably wouldn’t bother. This shit gives me hives. I don’t even have a good excuse. I’m writer. I have exactly one marketable talent (I swore I’d never go back to porn) and writing is it, but dammit, if somebody gave me the option of writing a resume and cover letter or wearing women’s clothes to work for a week, I’d be a big and tall women’s store right now.
by Harris on Nov 13, 2008 9:24 PM EST reply actions
@ Harris
Well you do have those child-bearing hips.
by She Blinded Me With Violence on Nov 13, 2008 9:29 PM EST reply actions
LMAO @ 23 and the rest of the related thread….
Big Hate for cover letters here too! I’m looking for a new gig, and so far I’m up to about 8 cover letters the past month or so. I haven’t gotten one response. Maybe I suck at cover letters?
by Mich-Placed Gator on Nov 13, 2008 9:34 PM EST reply actions
Just landed a new gig, but I was looking for about 9 months with the same cover letter, just edited with name/station. I emailed it out with my demo shit, and I couldn’t tell you how many times I left the wrong name/station/city on it.
Fuck me. I lucked out.
by Big Head on Nov 13, 2008 9:38 PM EST reply actions
@ She Blinded Me With Violence. I didn’t say I wouldn’t be fierce, but it is a bitch finding Ferragamo pumps in a men’s 12.
by Harris on Nov 13, 2008 9:40 PM EST reply actions
@26 – That’s the way to do it. And sometimes I’m too lazy to do even the change the name of the potential employer bit. And I"M A WRITER! (No matter how much the current gig has tried to turn me into a graphic designer.)
There is a certain eeriness to watching a Miami game at the stadium formerly known as Joe Robbie. I blame the combination of the tropical night and the lack of people in the stands.
by OrangeGator on Nov 13, 2008 9:49 PM EST reply actions
I’m in radio, so we are expected to be half retarded.
by big head on Nov 13, 2008 9:54 PM EST reply actions
My cover letters are about as generic as possible, but every print reporter job has different specs, so I have to write a new letter every time. It’s fucking maddening, especially since the cover letter is just a weed-out and the actual content is largely irrelevant. Even then, I keep mine to four paragraphs, only two of which are new by any definition of the term. It’s a good thing I’m a great interview because my documents are for shit. Always take notes in the interview, kids. That’s a tip.
by Harris on Nov 13, 2008 10:00 PM EST reply actions
@BigHead – I used to be, so I completely understand.
by OrangeGator on Nov 13, 2008 10:11 PM EST reply actions
If VT won this game, I would have just spent the rest of the season for John Swofford to take off his human mask and reveal a robot Coach K sent to destroy ACC football.
by Digital Headbutt on Nov 13, 2008 10:42 PM EST reply actions
Alright, Carolina. Do your thing versus the Twerps on Saturday, and you will, then State, only school in the nation with a campus uglier than SCar’s, and if you are lucky enough to get past the fightin’ Cutcliffes, we are are a tough out…
on to Tampa to work the Florida School For Women or the Baptists.
Then, hopefully Tejas or Oklahoma arrives for an ACC upset.
Oh, and I hear the Vols have already realized what everyone in the ACC already knows, and are now interested in pirates. Not like we did not see Butch not leaving or anything.
Shocking, really…
by Coop on Nov 13, 2008 11:38 PM EST reply actions
Orson hit it on the head week 2. Go ahead and shut the door on us, but we are 7-3, 6 points from 9-1 and we played Florida closer than anyone this side of Ole Miss.
And we play all freshmen.
Go on ahead and ignore, we are reloaded and we will see you in August.
by NOLAcane on Nov 14, 2008 1:56 AM EST reply actions
In the ACC, “do your thing” means an upset loss, Coop.
by Graysnail on Nov 14, 2008 6:36 AM EST reply actions
Very true, graysnail, unfortunately.
As for NolaCane, no you are not back, and you will not be back until you get a decent OC. Beating a crippled VPI, whose offense was anemic when healthy to start with, does not prove anything.
Given the way things are heading, I see Miami losing to Tech, so that everything will make sense again.
Nobody in the ACC is scared of Miami’s return, certainly not their former coach who is about to win the ACC title with inferior players.
by Coop on Nov 14, 2008 9:50 AM EST reply actions
Oh, Coop.
You really are a sad little man.
by The Great Barstoolio on Nov 14, 2008 10:31 AM EST reply actions

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