MUSTACHE OF THE DAY: DITKA
We can’t believe he’s never been the honoree. All others, 14; Ditka-stache, 452.
Happy Mustache Wednesday, motherfuckers!
Bill Swerski: Now, gentlemen, let me ask you this: What if Da Bears were all 14 inches tall, you know, about so high? Now, what’s your score of today’s game?
Carl Wollarski: Against Da Giants?
Bill Swerski: Yes, give ‘em a handicap.
Carl Wollarski: Bears 18, Giants 10. And that would finally be a good game.
Pat Arnold: Yeah, it would be a good game. Mini Bears 24, Giants 14.
Todd O’Conner: What about Ditka? Would he be mini, too?
Bill Swerski: No, he would be full-grown.
Todd O’Conner: Oh, then, uh.. Mini Bears 31, Giants 7.
Carl Wollarski: Oh, hold on. Then I change mine, too. I thought it was Mini Ditka.
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1
InsaneCoachPosse says:
thanks for bringing the visual of Chris Farley back into my head… one of the funniest skits Saturday night live ever did… and is still doing I think
I hope when I have my heart attack while eating brats and drinking beer I can just pound my chest and get things moving again. I have given up the idea of dying while getting laid but the idea of seeing the light while arguing about football and enjoying greasy food is certainly a probability
November 12th, 2008 at 3:21 pm
2
auburn heart bleeding says:
da bears da bears da bears da bears da bears da bears da bears da bears da bears da bears
November 12th, 2008 at 4:07 pm
3
Stranko Montana says:
Hey now… don’t raise up Ditka’s stache at the expense of Magnum. I think that would be a good game.
November 12th, 2008 at 4:21 pm
4
zzgator says:
Now THAT’S how you wear a sweatervest.
November 12th, 2008 at 4:45 pm
5
Crabapple Buck says:
One of the greatest compliments that Ditka gets is that people still use the ‘85 Bears as the gold standard of teams. Sorta like my uncle who used to say, “She’s no Marilyn Monroe”, when comparing women.
November 12th, 2008 at 4:54 pm
6
Brian says:
I got a polish sausage lodged in the lining of my heart…
November 12th, 2008 at 4:56 pm
7
Bobby Decatur says:
Pear Bryant Pear Bryant Pear Bryyyyyant. Pear Bryant Pear Bryant Pear Bryyyyyyyyyyyyant.
November 12th, 2008 at 5:07 pm
8
Bobby Decatur says:
By the way Orson, you simply must get the advertising under control. The Gay Bear Dating banner directly underneath Naked Guy may be the last straw. People often walk into my office unannounced, and this shit just won’t do.
November 12th, 2008 at 5:10 pm
9
Brian O'Blivion says:
The Super Fans skit where he coughs up an entire steak was an absolute classic. SNL used to be so good.
November 12th, 2008 at 5:11 pm
10
Who are they? says:
“All others, 14; Ditka-stache, 452.”
Bill Swerski: Twoo clothes …
Carl Wollarski: … ad havetime.
November 12th, 2008 at 5:16 pm
11
Brian says:
SNL is so gay. They have one of the videos on their website, but then you click it and its not available. FU SNL.
November 12th, 2008 at 5:20 pm
12
Naked Guy Who Lost 46 LBS says:
I. LOOK. AWESOME.
November 12th, 2008 at 5:21 pm
13
Der Schatten says:
For next week’s ‘Stache, I endorse the 46-lb losing, sausage-tosser, Tim.
Any seconds?
November 12th, 2008 at 5:26 pm
14
haveagreatday says:
Gentlemen, witness the utility of pleats.
November 12th, 2008 at 5:28 pm
15
CHRIS says:
DA BEARS!!!
November 12th, 2008 at 5:54 pm
16
Claws says:
hmmmm who wants to date gay bear men? i know! predominantly southern college football fans!
November 12th, 2008 at 6:18 pm
17
cyclonestate says:
DA COAAAAAAAAACH! wow this makes my day. best.team.ever.
side note: do you know how friggin much those sweater vests cost?
redickerous.
November 12th, 2008 at 6:40 pm
18
Brian says:
That’s right, were talking a minimum eight peat.
November 12th, 2008 at 7:03 pm
19
Der Schatten says:
The juxtaposition is terrifying: Naked sausage tosser on top…Red Roof Inn urging you to get a room on the bottom.
November 12th, 2008 at 7:18 pm
20
Mich-Placed Gator says:
Northern Illinios player #81 (Nathan Palmer) needs to have his “Black Race Card” revoked after piss-poor display….that was absolutely the worse “rap” I’ve ever heard in my entire life.
November 12th, 2008 at 8:19 pm
21
rtr says:
Speaking of people who’ve never been honored, and maybe I just missed it, but why not Lou-Grizz, as he inevitably would have become known had he lived to the early ’00s?
November 12th, 2008 at 8:20 pm
22
JD says:
Bill Swerski: OK, gentlemen, another scenario. ‘Nother scenario. The Bears, they don’t make it, their plane is delayed, and the only one who shows up is Ditka. Ditka versus the Giants. OK, score gentlemen.
Pat Arnold: All right, after the heart attack… I gotta say Ditka 17, Giants 14. He just barely gets by.
Bill: All right, that sounds exciting. Perhaps, you know, a late Ditka field goal.
November 12th, 2008 at 8:25 pm
23
Ted says:
FSU is back!!!
No, not like that.
Player brawling. Police. Fraternity fights.
November 12th, 2008 at 9:33 pm
24
allaha says:
Who would have thought that Eddie Munster would go on to coach perhaps the best NFL team of all time?
November 12th, 2008 at 9:40 pm
25
devin says:
I don’t know… I mean, naked guy is universally disturbing and everything, but the shock value is undeniably funny. Either that I am suffering PTSD from his violent, repeated eye rape.
November 12th, 2008 at 10:03 pm
26
Mich-Placed Gators says:
WTF Northern Illinois…
first, it’s ALWAYS foggy as fuck there….
…then you set off 15 minutes of fireworks which unleash just enough smoke across the field so that it looks like I’m trying to watch this game thru a glass of skim milk.
You team sucks, I guess your just trying to hide that fact from the rest of the country.
CHIPP E WAS!!
….and thank God the Chips are gonna kick Nad State’s ass next week to end all this MAC / BCS talk…
November 12th, 2008 at 10:03 pm
27
SpartanDan says:
On a completely non-mustache-related note: anyone else watching Central Michigan-Northern Illinois? It’s so foggy that from the overhead camera angle you can barely see the lines on the field or the NIU players.
November 12th, 2008 at 10:40 pm
28
jamiedawg says:
Spartadan, I was watching that and laughing out loud…how can they see anything? Is something on fire?
November 12th, 2008 at 10:41 pm
29
Big Head says:
My Ditka Halloween costume would have been a little more kickass with a real ’stache. Instead, I was Dick Jauron stuck in the ’80s.
November 13th, 2008 at 10:49 am
30
Miss Horn Dawg says:
If only Ditka would have run for senator of Illinois against some affirmative action poster boy with a funny name….
November 13th, 2008 at 11:21 am
31
Papa Lou BSU says:
The scary thing is that photo was taken in 1985, and yet, there’s been hundreds of fans wearing that same sweater to Bears games every Sunday since… I have an uncle who still rocks it at family gatherings from time to time. (And both my brother and I each had one when we were in junior high… all males under the age of 50 living in the greater Chicagoland area were issued that sweater — or a cheap knockoff thereof — by spring of 1986…)
And Miss Horn Dawg, Ditka was no fool. He knew he would have lost that Senate race to Obama by 15 points, and he also knew that Chicago votes nearly 80 percent Democratic without fail. With three restaurants bearing his name here, he rightfully didn’t want three-quarters of the city pissed off at his politics. Bad for business.
Say what you will about Da Coach, but the guy ain’t stupid… unlike your “affirmative action poster boy” comment.
November 15th, 2008 at 12:25 am