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Around SBN: Leandro Damiao Is Still Really Good

MUSTACHE OF THE DAY: DITKA

We can't believe he's never been the honoree. All others, 14; Ditka-stache, 452.


Happy Mustache Wednesday, motherfuckers!

Bill Swerski: Now, gentlemen, let me ask you this: What if Da Bears were all 14 inches tall, you know, about so high? Now, what's your score of today's game?

Carl Wollarski: Against Da Giants?

Bill Swerski: Yes, give 'em a handicap.

Carl Wollarski: Bears 18, Giants 10. And that would finally be a good game.

Pat Arnold: Yeah, it would be a good game. Mini Bears 24, Giants 14.

Todd O'Conner: What about Ditka? Would he be mini, too?

Bill Swerski: No, he would be full-grown.

Todd O'Conner: Oh, then, uh.. Mini Bears 31, Giants 7.

Carl Wollarski: Oh, hold on. Then I change mine, too. I thought it was Mini Ditka.

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thanks for bringing the visual of Chris Farley back into my head… one of the funniest skits Saturday night live ever did… and is still doing I think

I hope when I have my heart attack while eating brats and drinking beer I can just pound my chest and get things moving again. I have given up the idea of dying while getting laid but the idea of seeing the light while arguing about football and enjoying greasy food is certainly a probability

by InsaneCoachPosse on Nov 12, 2008 3:21 PM EST reply actions  

da bears da bears da bears da bears da bears da bears da bears da bears da bears da bears

by auburn heart bleeding on Nov 12, 2008 4:07 PM EST reply actions  

Hey now… don’t raise up Ditka’s stache at the expense of Magnum. I think that would be a good game.

by Stranko Montana on Nov 12, 2008 4:21 PM EST reply actions  

Now THAT’S how you wear a sweatervest.

by zzgator on Nov 12, 2008 4:45 PM EST reply actions  

One of the greatest compliments that Ditka gets is that people still use the ‘85 Bears as the gold standard of teams. Sorta like my uncle who used to say, "She’s no Marilyn Monroe", when comparing women.

by Crabapple Buck on Nov 12, 2008 4:54 PM EST reply actions  

I got a polish sausage lodged in the lining of my heart…

by Brian on Nov 12, 2008 4:56 PM EST reply actions  

Pear Bryant Pear Bryant Pear Bryyyyyant. Pear Bryant Pear Bryant Pear Bryyyyyyyyyyyyant.

by Bobby Decatur on Nov 12, 2008 5:07 PM EST reply actions  

By the way Orson, you simply must get the advertising under control. The Gay Bear Dating banner directly underneath Naked Guy may be the last straw. People often walk into my office unannounced, and this shit just won’t do.

by Bobby Decatur on Nov 12, 2008 5:10 PM EST reply actions  

The Super Fans skit where he coughs up an entire steak was an absolute classic. SNL used to be so good.

by Brian O'Blivion on Nov 12, 2008 5:11 PM EST reply actions  

“All others, 14; Ditka-stache, 452.”

Bill Swerski: Twoo clothes …

Carl Wollarski: … ad havetime.

by Who are they? on Nov 12, 2008 5:16 PM EST reply actions  

SNL is so gay. They have one of the videos on their website, but then you click it and its not available. FU SNL.

by Brian on Nov 12, 2008 5:20 PM EST reply actions  

I. LOOK. AWESOME.

by Naked Guy Who Lost 46 LBS on Nov 12, 2008 5:21 PM EST reply actions  

For next week’s ’Stache, I endorse the 46-lb losing, sausage-tosser, Tim.

Any seconds?

by Der Schatten on Nov 12, 2008 5:26 PM EST reply actions  

Gentlemen, witness the utility of pleats.

by haveagreatday on Nov 12, 2008 5:28 PM EST reply actions  

DA BEARS!!!

by CHRIS on Nov 12, 2008 5:54 PM EST reply actions  

hmmmm who wants to date gay bear men? i know! predominantly southern college football fans!

by Claws on Nov 12, 2008 6:18 PM EST reply actions  

DA COAAAAAAAAACH! wow this makes my day. best.team.ever.

side note: do you know how friggin much those sweater vests cost?

redickerous.

by cyclonestate on Nov 12, 2008 6:40 PM EST reply actions  

ThatÂ’s right, were talking a minimum eight peat.

by Brian on Nov 12, 2008 7:03 PM EST reply actions  

The juxtaposition is terrifying: Naked sausage tosser on top…Red Roof Inn urging you to get a room on the bottom.

by Der Schatten on Nov 12, 2008 7:18 PM EST reply actions  

Northern Illinios player #81 (Nathan Palmer) needs to have his “Black Race Card” revoked after piss-poor display….that was absolutely the worse “rap” I’ve ever heard in my entire life.

by Mich-Placed Gator on Nov 12, 2008 8:19 PM EST reply actions  

Speaking of people who’ve never been honored, and maybe I just missed it, but why not Lou-Grizz, as he inevitably would have become known had he lived to the early ’00s?

by rtr on Nov 12, 2008 8:20 PM EST reply actions  

Bill Swerski: OK, gentlemen, another scenario. ‘Nother scenario. The Bears, they don’t make it, their plane is delayed, and the only one who shows up is Ditka. Ditka versus the Giants. OK, score gentlemen.

Pat Arnold: All right, after the heart attack… I gotta say Ditka 17, Giants 14. He just barely gets by.

Bill: All right, that sounds exciting. Perhaps, you know, a late Ditka field goal.

by JD on Nov 12, 2008 8:25 PM EST reply actions  

FSU is back!!!

No, not like that.

Player brawling. Police. Fraternity fights.

by Ted on Nov 12, 2008 9:33 PM EST reply actions  

Who would have thought that Eddie Munster would go on to coach perhaps the best NFL team of all time?

by allaha on Nov 12, 2008 9:40 PM EST reply actions  

I don’t know… I mean, naked guy is universally disturbing and everything, but the shock value is undeniably funny. Either that I am suffering PTSD from his violent, repeated eye rape.

by devin on Nov 12, 2008 10:03 PM EST reply actions  

WTF Northern Illinois…

first, it’s ALWAYS foggy as fuck there….

…then you set off 15 minutes of fireworks which unleash just enough smoke across the field so that it looks like I’m trying to watch this game thru a glass of skim milk.

You team sucks, I guess your just trying to hide that fact from the rest of the country.

CHIPP E WAS!!

….and thank God the Chips are gonna kick Nad State’s ass next week to end all this MAC / BCS talk…

by Mich-Placed Gators on Nov 12, 2008 10:03 PM EST reply actions  

On a completely non-mustache-related note: anyone else watching Central Michigan-Northern Illinois? It’s so foggy that from the overhead camera angle you can barely see the lines on the field or the NIU players.

by SpartanDan on Nov 12, 2008 10:40 PM EST reply actions  

Spartadan, I was watching that and laughing out loud…how can they see anything? Is something on fire?

by jamiedawg on Nov 12, 2008 10:41 PM EST reply actions  

My Ditka Halloween costume would have been a little more kickass with a real ’stache. Instead, I was Dick Jauron stuck in the ’80s.

by Big Head on Nov 13, 2008 10:49 AM EST reply actions  

If only Ditka would have run for senator of Illinois against some affirmative action poster boy with a funny name….

by Miss Horn Dawg on Nov 13, 2008 11:21 AM EST reply actions  

The scary thing is that photo was taken in 1985, and yet, there’s been hundreds of fans wearing that same sweater to Bears games every Sunday since… I have an uncle who still rocks it at family gatherings from time to time. (And both my brother and I each had one when we were in junior high… all males under the age of 50 living in the greater Chicagoland area were issued that sweater — or a cheap knockoff thereof — by spring of 1986…)

And Miss Horn Dawg, Ditka was no fool. He knew he would have lost that Senate race to Obama by 15 points, and he also knew that Chicago votes nearly 80 percent Democratic without fail. With three restaurants bearing his name here, he rightfully didn’t want three-quarters of the city pissed off at his politics. Bad for business.

Say what you will about Da Coach, but the guy ain’t stupid… unlike your “affirmative action poster boy” comment.

by Papa Lou BSU on Nov 15, 2008 12:25 AM EST reply actions  

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