MUSTACHE OF THE DAY: DITKA

thanks for bringing the visual of Chris Farley back into my head… one of the funniest skits Saturday night live ever did… and is still doing I think

I hope when I have my heart attack while eating brats and drinking beer I can just pound my chest and get things moving again. I have given up the idea of dying while getting laid but the idea of seeing the light while arguing about football and enjoying greasy food is certainly a probability

da bears da bears da bears da bears da bears da bears da bears da bears da bears da bears

Hey now… don’t raise up Ditka’s stache at the expense of Magnum. I think that would be a good game.

Now THAT’S how you wear a sweatervest.

One of the greatest compliments that Ditka gets is that people still use the ‘85 Bears as the gold standard of teams. Sorta like my uncle who used to say, "She’s no Marilyn Monroe", when comparing women.

I got a polish sausage lodged in the lining of my heart…

Pear Bryant Pear Bryant Pear Bryyyyyant. Pear Bryant Pear Bryant Pear Bryyyyyyyyyyyyant.

By the way Orson, you simply must get the advertising under control. The Gay Bear Dating banner directly underneath Naked Guy may be the last straw. People often walk into my office unannounced, and this shit just won’t do.

The Super Fans skit where he coughs up an entire steak was an absolute classic. SNL used to be so good.

“All others, 14; Ditka-stache, 452.”

Bill Swerski: Twoo clothes …

Carl Wollarski: … ad havetime.

SNL is so gay. They have one of the videos on their website, but then you click it and its not available. FU SNL.

I. LOOK. AWESOME.

For next week’s ’Stache, I endorse the 46-lb losing, sausage-tosser, Tim.

Any seconds?

Gentlemen, witness the utility of pleats.

DA BEARS!!!

hmmmm who wants to date gay bear men? i know! predominantly southern college football fans!

DA COAAAAAAAAACH! wow this makes my day. best.team.ever.

side note: do you know how friggin much those sweater vests cost?

redickerous.

That’s right, were talking a minimum eight peat.

The juxtaposition is terrifying: Naked sausage tosser on top…Red Roof Inn urging you to get a room on the bottom.

Northern Illinios player #81 (Nathan Palmer) needs to have his “Black Race Card” revoked after piss-poor display….that was absolutely the worse “rap” I’ve ever heard in my entire life.

Speaking of people who’ve never been honored, and maybe I just missed it, but why not Lou-Grizz, as he inevitably would have become known had he lived to the early ’00s?

Bill Swerski: OK, gentlemen, another scenario. ‘Nother scenario. The Bears, they don’t make it, their plane is delayed, and the only one who shows up is Ditka. Ditka versus the Giants. OK, score gentlemen.

Pat Arnold: All right, after the heart attack… I gotta say Ditka 17, Giants 14. He just barely gets by.

Bill: All right, that sounds exciting. Perhaps, you know, a late Ditka field goal.

FSU is back!!!

No, not like that.

Player brawling. Police. Fraternity fights.

Who would have thought that Eddie Munster would go on to coach perhaps the best NFL team of all time?

I don’t know… I mean, naked guy is universally disturbing and everything, but the shock value is undeniably funny. Either that I am suffering PTSD from his violent, repeated eye rape.

WTF Northern Illinois…

first, it’s ALWAYS foggy as fuck there….

…then you set off 15 minutes of fireworks which unleash just enough smoke across the field so that it looks like I’m trying to watch this game thru a glass of skim milk.

You team sucks, I guess your just trying to hide that fact from the rest of the country.

CHIPP E WAS!!

….and thank God the Chips are gonna kick Nad State’s ass next week to end all this MAC / BCS talk…

On a completely non-mustache-related note: anyone else watching Central Michigan-Northern Illinois? It’s so foggy that from the overhead camera angle you can barely see the lines on the field or the NIU players.

Spartadan, I was watching that and laughing out loud…how can they see anything? Is something on fire?

My Ditka Halloween costume would have been a little more kickass with a real ’stache. Instead, I was Dick Jauron stuck in the ’80s.

If only Ditka would have run for senator of Illinois against some affirmative action poster boy with a funny name….

The scary thing is that photo was taken in 1985, and yet, there’s been hundreds of fans wearing that same sweater to Bears games every Sunday since… I have an uncle who still rocks it at family gatherings from time to time. (And both my brother and I each had one when we were in junior high… all males under the age of 50 living in the greater Chicagoland area were issued that sweater — or a cheap knockoff thereof — by spring of 1986…)

And Miss Horn Dawg, Ditka was no fool. He knew he would have lost that Senate race to Obama by 15 points, and he also knew that Chicago votes nearly 80 percent Democratic without fail. With three restaurants bearing his name here, he rightfully didn’t want three-quarters of the city pissed off at his politics. Bad for business.

Say what you will about Da Coach, but the guy ain’t stupid… unlike your “affirmative action poster boy” comment.