NICK SABAN'S AMAZING DRIVE-BY FACEPUNCHING MACHINE

The title run by Special K and the Silver Bullets was in 2002, not 2001. Still, I made the comparison between this year’s Bama team and tOSU’s ’02 team on another blog the other day, and the resemblance is striking.

Except, every now and then, you’re scared of Bama’s offense for the prison rape of Georgia’s D in the first half. And the chimera at RB.

I’m reminded of January 2006, when TTech was, as now, rolling in a giant, stinking shitpile of points. Then, the Cotton Bowl. Bama 13, TTech 10. Hmm

Alabama is playing excellent defense and giving up few points per game, that much is clear.

But you do know a certain team that gives up fewer points at 11.9 per contest, right?

Hints: … same conference …. wears blue pants on occasion … starts with “Ga” and ends with “tors”?

Don’t bring a knife to a gunfight, rookie.

Orson,

Nice try, there is clearly no way Alabama can beat Florida. We get what you are doing with your reverse voodoo. Tim Tebow cannot be stopped, and Alabama will be lucky to be in this game after the first quarter.

We will believe Alabama is no threat when they are broken and weeping on the field, and not a second before. (See: 1999)

In honor of the Jesse Palmer quote above, the highlight of ESPN commentary thus far this year, Jesse Palmer said “then tension is pipable.” Even Craig James laughed at him for being stupid.

Good point, Orson. Do you think Spurrier has ever gotten over the shame of losing to Mike Dubose twice in one year?

6, he’s just been looking to Emmitt Smith for inspiration.

Joe Kines is calling from October 1, 2005. Would you like to take the call, or should I take a message?

Good point DHC, but what kind of fight is that? The “Ga” … “tors” seem to be beatable when the other team scores 31.

Hotty Toddy

Please keep doubting Bama. In case you don’t remember the end of last years season… Florida did not do so well up against a run first “smash mouth” offense and the tough D of UM. Everyone said Michigan did not stand a chance, so please keep it up!

@11…last season? Have you looked at the sluggishness THIS SEASON against any team with a defensive pulse cough, giggity, cough

Michigan’s defense last year was not tough.

Signed, Beanie Wells.

Cosigned: Dennis Dixon, Armanti Edwards, Jonathan Stewart

Dr. Lou Holtz thinks Orson did a tremendous job of building up the ‘Ga…Tors’ opponent three and a half weeks before the National Semi-Final, Part I game.

I see what you are doing, Orson.

You sandbagging sonofabitch.

Fine.

I don’t see how Bama can stop Florida’s offense. It’s going to be a massacre. Florida’s D is not the type of D to give up big chunks of yards on the ground (and seconds off the clock), a few well timed play action passes to Hoolio Hones, an early post route to Mr. Maze, etc.

Will not happen.

Threadjack:

Orson – you may want to take a gander at this:

ttp://bleacherreport.com/articles/80306-is-oregon-going-to-bring-out-new-uniforms-this-weekend

The Oregon-Arizona game is only going to be on Fox Sports Arizona, and it is really only of interest to the intense competition for 2nd through 4th place in the Pac-10 (Sun Bowl, baby!) – but tharr’s COMEDY GOLD if you’re willing to take a look.

I have nothing of worth to offer to this conversation and would be better served to say nothing… Alabama’s real good, I think Florida’s real better.

And Saban is just winning with Shula’s players.

Has anyone noticed that Dr Lou’s doctorate “degree” is from a school that didn’t win a bowl game in its first 100 years+ of existance and has won 1 conference championship?

Bama doesn’t stand a chance, but for some reason those sumbitches at TTown can’t understand that and will probably be rackin’ a little ass.

The last the this world needs is a resurgent Alabama football program.

Okay, maybe I’m being too negative, the last thing world needs is a resurgent Notre Dame, the second to last thing the world needs is a resurgent Alabama.

There, now I feel better.

Alabama can beat any team in the SEC. A few teams in the SEC can beat Alabama. Anyone who thinks Florida is a lock was probably willing to bet their first born that Florida was a lock over Ole Miss.

that picture never gets old!

Why is the gentleman below NAKED? Scary

Just for the record, most Florida fans are not discounting Alabama. None of the Gator fans I know think UF is going to run away with this game.

So, if you’re hoping the Gator football team will come in thinking they have the upper hand, you are sorely mistaken.

For we are beat about about the face, head, chest, neck and legs with “12 national tahh-tels” and “The Beeaahhrrr”

The fans make it almost impossible to overlook Alabama. You are your own bulletin board material.

For Alabama to truly emulate tOSU from 2002, they need to have 3 heart attack inducing wins to finish the season, then win over a team that had won 34 in a row in another finish that would take years off your life. For a Buckeye fan, there will never be another team that could top that one for sheer excitement.

I too have compared tOSU 2002 and Bama 2008. The biggest thing they have in common is a great defense. That will mask some offensive woes.

Heck, there’s still South Carolina and F$U, which are not gimmes either. Florida has only won a whopping two in a row at F$U, and their record prior to that up there was pretty dismal. Get to the SECCG with one loss first, and then give Bama all the respect they deserve.

I think we can all agree it’s the national media that is predicting a convincing Gator win. Many Gator fans are naturally lapping it up. If Bama doens’t commit early turnovers, it will not be UF mudhole.

We’re operating under the dangerous assumption that Jesse Palmer can pronounce Damocles.

He can’t, Holly. What he can do is repeat words phonetically. Like Antonio Banderas in Mambo Kings.

With all this talk about Bama and the Dr. Pepper SEC Championship Game, I’m wondering how the OBC is getting ready over there in Columbia. He’s layin’ in them weeds, just like 2006. You remember how that ended, right?

What say you, Ga…tors, about this week’s opponent? It looks like a really dangerous trap game from here (as does Bama’s date with the Croominator).

Am I the only one thinking of the Three Stooges episode Half-Wits Holiday, with a sword of Damocles reference in it?

Alabama has yet to face a complete team. They’ve played a good offense (Georgia, on a good day), and a good defense (Tennessee, and LSU to a certain degree), but not both. If LSU had a QB with any degree of competency the Tigers would have won by 2-3 TD’s.

I was impressed by Alabama early on, but have become less so as the season has progressed. Until Penn State blew it against Iowa, I was hoping they would meet the Tide in the MNC in what would be the easiest win. This team is not OSU 2002. Florida will win easily…

Nice window treatments.

@33 – awww…..don’t be so bitter. You didn’t beat the Hawkeyes – you surely wouldn’t have beaten Bama. Bama plays the same style as Iowa with more talent and of course that SEC speed.

And what “complete team” had PSU faced? Bama may well lose to UF, but they’d beat Penn State like they stole something.

As for all this talk about what LSU would’ve done “if they had a better QB” is beyond absurd. If Earl Alexander doesn’t fumble at the one-inch line and Arenas doesn’t fumble a kickoff deep in UA territory, Andre Smith doesn’t ever so slightly grasp the jersey of Alem, etc., Bama destroys LSU.

See how easy (and utterly worthless) that exercise is?

Bama is playing 15 freshmen – 10 of them are outstanding (http://secsports.com/index.php?s=&url_channel_id=2&url_article_id=11762&url_subchannel_id=&change_well_id=2).

This year has been great by any Bama fan expectations but no one expected the rankings that we’ve gotten. Most of us feel that the next year or two will be even better. We’ve got good leadership on the team even from underclassmen and good QB’s in the wings.

Florida has a very good team and the SEC Championship game will be a good one.

Most players and coaches , though are just focused on Mississippi State. Last year we quit before 60 minutes were up. This year the emphasis is to finish. The Croominator is definitely a classy coach and will certainly have the Bulldogs up for Bama.

Bama needs to get by MS and AU first, and then figure out if there is any way to stop the Gators.

Fans and media can predict what they will about the SECCG but Bama will start thinking about it on Dec. 1 – 24 hours after the AU game.

Paging Gino Toretta . . . Gino Toretta, Line 1

1992 – Heisman Trophy Winner
1993 – Sugar Bowl (National Title Game)*

Professional Career

1993 – 7th round to Vikes; did not play
1994 – Waived by Vikes, picked up by Lions
1994 – Did not play
1995 – NFL Europe; backup, 49ers
1996 – Cut by 49ers; picked up by the Seahawks.
1997 – Seahawks, then Colts; did not play; retired.

• Alabama 34 – Miami 13 (3 ints, 1 ret for TD)

Mock Sarah Jessica all you want, but know this. Alabama beat LSU this weekend for one reason alone — Alabama had far superior quarterback play.

Sorry boys, but Bama’s got to throw in another game to be on the level with tOSU 2002…that was a 14-0 season. tOSU’s SOS was better in 2002. Bama has played 2 teams with a winning record – one of them is LSU who has played NO ONE out of conference and who has been pounded unmercifully by Florida and Georgia. That leaves Georgia, who like LSU was pounded by Florida and only OOC win is vs. 3-6 ASU.

This is the perfect storm for Bama…the SEC west SUCKS…2 new coaches (nutt and petrino), Croom and Tubby are having terribly bad years, and LSU has no quarterback. Tenn lost to UCLA and Wyoming…do I need to say that again? Clemson has fired their coach because he sucked so bad and they are now 4-5 (thank god Citadel was on the schedule). So what does that leave? Georgia – overrated and banged up terribly on the Oline.

I’m sorry, Bama is undefeated and they may look good, but that schedule and the teams they have played SUCK…Georgia being the only exception and they almost came back to beat Alabama.

Sure let’s give the devil his due…10-0 is 10-0, but before we start matching Bama up against any of the previous NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP WINNERS let’s first see if they can win the SEC.

Just some fun fact:
Alabama hasn’t beaten a conference champion in a bowl game since Miami in 1992. You see conference champions usually play in the BCS bowls or the NCG…

The last time Bama was a conference champion they lost to the Big Ten Runner up – Michigan.

So before we crown their ass the champion of anything and start comparing them to one of the greatest BCS NC teams of all time, the 2002 Buckeyes, let’s finish the regular season.

\ Coaching search dept:
Nick Saban doesn’t have a buyout and doesn’t have any real ties to Alabama, other than the pleasure of playing LSU every year and having his likeness burned at the stake. Notre Dame…hello, hello?

1. - Here’s a “fun fact” for you. In nine tries, your team hasn’t beat an SEC team in a bowl game once.

FKOA… Sigh. What about UK, UGA, LSU, Ole Miss? Is that Jim Delaney math you’re cranking out on us?

Georgia “almost came back to beat Alabama”?

It’s (in part) because of statements like that one that you have zero credibility.

Big if here, but if Bama won the whole thing, wouldn’t that put them at 14-0?

So if that dubious pass interference call was not made, would the University of Ohio State have been the greatest BCS NC runner up of all time?

And please save me the links to that stupid video describing the PI actually happening prior to the ball getting there. That was within 5 yards of the line of scrimmage and was not PI. And for the record, I hate da U.

1. - I’m having a little trouble with this statement:

“Bama has played 2 teams with a winning record – …LSU…Georgia,”

Uh, Ole Miss and Kentucky have winning records.

Just sayin’….I certainly don’t disagree that the Ga…tors will stomp all over us. I was sad to win at LSU, because that meant that we’d have to go you-know-where and play you-know-who….

@ 3

Not sure if you saw the news or not, but Bama does not bring knives to any fight. They bring shotguns and will take down any gimpy pistol you got. After beating your ass.

The 2002 OSU comparison is good, but a comparison to the 2006 Gators is better. Because of their clownstomping of the Buckeyes, people forget that it was steadier-in-retrospect senior QB leadership and a lockdown, opportunistic defense that carried UF to the title game, including a handful of close wins in conference play.

“What say you, Ga…tors, about this week’s opponent? It looks like a really dangerous trap game from here (as does Bama’s date with the Croominator).”

What? I have a date? Damn, and I don’t have a thing to wear…think I have time for a bikini wax before Saturday?

This insightful “Fuck you, my team is better” contest grows tiresome. Let’s all measure penis girth, that will settle things! (Breast cup size is also acceptable so as to not seem prejudicial.)

But the photoshop above may be the best since Superdome Song Girl. Seriously, how can you not laugh aloud at Fullmer’s face after getting punched in the sternum? Hi-LLARIOUS. The effort involved to collect and categorize coach’s O faces and then store them for later use makes me proud of the American work ethic.

Check that, the punch is to the throat, not the sternum.

Which makes it even funnier!

Okay you got me…Ole Miss made it above .500 this past week and I missed Kentucky.

That animated gif is killing me. I think it’s when the screaming, fanatical Saban face pokes out of the side of the jalopy. One of the funniest things I’ve seen in a long time.

@45- It was D holding, not pass interference. Called PI on the field despite seeming to be a fairly obvious hold. Same result, no? Also, the pass “out of bounds” called correctly gives tOSU the win in regulation. Much like UT in 2005, no one gave tOSU a chance in that game. ESPN and the like were busy annointing Miami and USC as the greatest teams to ever play college football only to go down in tremendously entertaining fashion to steep dogs. Maybe if Bama was going to run into say, an undefeated defending champ, I suppose I might feel this more. Until then, say IF they went on to play TT, would they not be giving points? Despite the OS reverse-mojo, I think the Bama defense is exposed in that game and might resemble a certain 2006 #1 v #2 regular season finale (with reverse result and being #1 v #3). With everyone handing the winner of that game the NC again this year, I hope we see the same result. A fat, happy favorite that most consider unbeatable getting their gizzard bitten off in a horrendous display of pants shitting.

A. Bama fans are surprised and delighted the punches started landing with regularity a year ahead of schedule.

B. Tackle midget running backs = beat Florida. Do not do so and the day will be long verily. Verilier and veriliest.

C. Saban IS winning with Shula’s players. Therein lies the point for the perceptive.

#53

Spot-on. Winning with Shula’s squad is proof-positive of coaching genius, no? Also, is that even true? The absolute mutants that Saban has recruited seem to be playing and contributing heavily.

I am privy to more inside info on the Bama team than anyone on this board. Fact is, the Shula players that are left here are at least experienced players, both on the field and now, in Sabans system. Most are from last year, except this year have bought into what Saban was preaching since he landed here. You cannot discount an experienced O LINE and QB in the SEC. Sure, we have a game manager, but where do you think we would be if we had Tebow or Graham Harrell or Stafford with this defense and stable of running backs? We would be a young NFL farm club. Another year under Saban and next years defense will be even scarier. He can recruit and his method leads to madness for opposing QB’s. We have beaten most of our so called “quality opponents” in THEIR house on THEIR field. These next 2 games will be REVENGE games of the highest order and the score will be for style points. Nothing flashy, just hitting people in the face with bricks running game and lead pipe to the knees defense, praying we dont have to use Cody til the Florida game. But we have to settle some scores before then and I promise you Auburns ass beating will be something to behold……We dont care if they are old, crippled and defenseless, there will be no mercy in the “jaw on the curb” stomping contest.TRUST ME.
Mississippi State is the first contestant, and we hope Auburn is watching………and did that weighloss product eat all the hair off that fags body or what?

@ 45. you’re fucking retarded. the 02 OSU squad is commonly regarded as one of the weakest MNC’s ever. they barely skated past piece of shit big televen teams all season long and were bailed out by the refs to win the fiesta bowl. you’re seriously smoking some of the strongest strawberry crack known to man. NO ONE, and i mean NO ONE outside of columbus or dublin OH gives a second thought to that awful excuse for a “championship” team. and as to your second point about Saban leaving BAMA for noter damn?!?!?! you must have suffered a massive stroke due to all that strawberry crack you been smokin. notre dame is not a good job, cause they suck and they haven’t won shit in like 40 years and even that year was crap as they tied mich st and BAMA was clearly better. Also, Saban thrives on CONTROL and thats the first thing he would have to cede if he were to coach there. the big ten is a stinking pile of shit and has never and likely will never compete on the level as the SEC. and by the way what was woody hayes’ record vs bear bryant? now howabout OSU vs BAMA? oh, still fucking awful? well howabout vs the SEC in general? hello, hello, you still there?

Louisiana-Monroe faired pretty well against a “well-coached” Nick Saban team last year, didn’t they?

See, the problem with the Wing T barreling in at 20mph, is that you can simply get out of the way before the gloves hit you. Florida has the speed to do this. Of course, I suppose they could always get stuck in the mud, ruining their escape…

I guess I hope that Florida does get stuck in the mud and punched in the face, but then the Wing T breaks down from shoddy workmanship.

@58 – yeah, most people regard that tOSU team in 2002 as one of the weakest MNC’s ever…right above the ’92 Alabama team that played a de facto home game against a relatively inferior Miami team.

And the Big 10 “never has, never will” compete vs the SEC? Is that why the Big 10 is 4-3 against the SEC over the past 2 seasons? Sounds like competing to me, genius…

Inferior Miami team?

The pundits before the Sugar Bowl would have disagreed strongly.

That 92 Bama D was one of the best defenses ever.

EVAR

#58…now THAT is some revisionist history. No love for the Tide here, but I well remember that 92 team and that Sugar Bowl. No one gave them a chance. But I guess it is hard for a Big 10 fan to appreciate what it takes to win an NC. Or in the case of Penn St what it takes to beat Iowa.

Aww jesus, I can’t believe I wasted 5 minutes of valuable company time reading through all this crap. Look, all I want to know is where LSUFreek got the above animation from. As in what movie is it from. Alos, I am curious about the Paterno-Bowden car race photshop from earlier. Does he have a website where he lists how he finds all the stuff he usses. It’s very impresive.

What—

A lot of the older source material comes from here.

Thank you Orson, my hats off to you, I can now scratch one mysety off my list. You can sleep with my hot wife any time you’re in town.

On another note, why do the rest of you insist on arguing about something that should be moot in less than a month? Seriously, get back to work.

What, I think it’s from the 3 stooges.

“This year’s Alabama team will not blow doors on anyone offensively”

Except Clemson.

Saban is winning with Shula’s recruits? So what? Shula sure couldnt do it!

The weakest-ass MNC team in recent times has to be 98 Tennessee. Thanks to the Gators’ inability to make chip-shot field goals, Clint Stoerner’s Pisarcik moment, and getting to face an FSU team with Marcus Outzen at QB in the title game, no team has been luckier or least deserving of the crown.

@ 33 – And what “complete team” has UF faced that Bama hasn’t? Vandy? Both teams faced and beat LSU, Georgia, Tennessee, Arkansas, and Kentucky. And then there’s Ole Miss. Advantage Bama.

I hate to say it, but Bama is for real. While the scoreboard doesn’t show it, they are knowcking people off the line of scrimmage. It’s not SEC Speed as much as SEC power. As an Auburn fan, unfortunately I feel they will go all the way.

In preparation for the SEC Championship Game, maybe they should give Julio and JPW a rest in the Iron Bowl.

From Darth Iggy,

“The last the this world needs is a resurgent Alabama football program.”

Too late Darth.

Bama has two seniors in its three deep defensive rotation.
Bama has seven seniors in its three deep offensive rotation.

That animated gif is from the “Little Rascals” called "Free Wheelin, and I’m a sucker for old comedy…the best line I remember came from Groucho Marx, recalling a trip to Africa, he stated:
“We took some pictures of some native girls that havent developed……..we are going back in 4 years.”