BLOGPOLL, WEEK ELEVEN: COMPLETELY DYSPEPTIC AND LOST
The arrows may or may not be right–we’ve submitted multiple, angsty drafts at this point, and the deltas may be completely scrambled now–but the muddle is totally real. Sometime after 8 or 9, this goes to shit completely and totally.
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| Rank | Team | Delta |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Alabama | — |
| 2 | Texas Tech | — |
| 3 | Texas |  2 |
| 4 | Florida | — |
| 5 | Oklahoma | 1 |
| 6 | Southern Cal | 2 |
| 7 | Penn State |  4 |
| 8 | Ohio State | 2 |
| 9 | Utah | 2 |
| 10 | Boise State | 3 |
| 11 | Oklahoma State | 4 |
| 12 | Missouri | 6 |
| 13 | Pittsburgh | 11 |
| 14 | Georgia | — |
| 15 | Michigan State | 1 |
| 16 | North Carolina | 10 |
| 17 | Florida State | 9 |
| 18 | Brigham Young | 8 |
| 19 | Cincinnati | 2 |
| 20 | Virginia Tech | 6 |
| 21 | TCU | 12 |
| 22 | South Carolina | 4 |
| 23 | West Virginia | 11 |
| 24 | Ball State | 1 |
| 25 | Tulsa | — |
Yes, it sucks. To be frank, we don’t even like our number one at this point. Alabama’s offense has spells of crapulence, and their signature wins against Georgia, Clemson, and LSU look less impressive with each passing week of 2008 Georgia/Clemson/LSU football. (Defense: optional!)
Texas? Sure. Guesswork. It’s all just lunchmeat thrown on the asses of so many miserable groupies at this point. (PAPA ROACH YEAAAHHH!!!!) The randomized excellence of the Big 12 South right now forces us to put Texas above Oklahoma because they beat them. Otherwise Oklahoma score points like a mid-debate fired-up Christopher Hitchens on his second bottle of sherry on anyone they choose to annihilate.
The rest: hopeless. The easy crutches are all gone. Pittsburgh? Really? Michigan State? Don’t make us rank Virginia Tech, life; no please, do not make us rank them, or Minnesota, who has the thinnest 7-2 record in the nation. Michigan and Tennessee being decent made this 8 percent easier in the good old days, but now we’re left in the soup line ladling out Cincinnati and TCU gruel. Spare us a dime. This season has left us bereft of solid rankings, and a bailout is needed.
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1
kleph says:
i like your number one just fine.
November 10th, 2008 at 11:11 am
2
beast in 'bama says:
Not that it really matters, but I just don’t see how Texas Tech isn’t #1 in everybody’s poll at this point. That was a physically gifted football team they just prison-molested.
I don’t remember who came up with the term BOHICA on this site (if it indeed originated here at all), but it perfectly suits that gang bang on the Llano Estacado Saturday night.
November 10th, 2008 at 11:15 am
3
Joshua says:
Penn St behind Southern Cal? You’re smarter than that Orson.
November 10th, 2008 at 11:24 am
4
Orson Swindle says:
We’re not impressed with Penn State. At all.
November 10th, 2008 at 11:28 am
5
DevilGrad says:
Jason Whitlock would like a word with you, sir.
November 10th, 2008 at 11:29 am
6
She Blinded Me With Violence says:
#22! Wooooooo! Stormin’ up them thar polls, baby!
We’re playing who this weekend?
Oh.
November 10th, 2008 at 11:38 am
7
matt says:
you’re saying bama’s a weak #1…don’t venture too far west of Atlanta-that might be hazardous to your health
November 10th, 2008 at 11:42 am
8
SuperJew says:
You had to have been possessed by the spirit of Mark May when you placed the Wannastaches as high as #13.
November 10th, 2008 at 11:42 am
9
skinnyphatman says:
Chicken and egg question. Did you rank UNC above FSU thinking the Tar Heels have a better chance to loose to Maryland than FSU to BC? Or solely on their recent performance, thereby guaranteeing a loss, as the top ranked ACC team?
November 10th, 2008 at 11:51 am
10
Orson Swindle says:
Skinnyphat–Just flip a coin. We surrender to the ACC’s Russian Roulette wheel.
November 10th, 2008 at 11:53 am
11
Gen. Stoopnagle says:
Hate Week is over, OS. Urban put us bitches back in our place. But that place is definitely not behind Pitt, Mizzou and Boise? Unless we’re holding the KY. In that case, we’ll bang away.
We can toss Texas Tech and Bama up, but I still think Bama (with defense!) comes up on top for the time being. Tech’s two best wins came in the happy confines of Lubbock (All Over Everything). While I am a border line believer at this point, methinks the OU game is the final straw. If the Dread Pirate brings his incredibly talented team victory in Norman, then they are number one with a bullet.
Bama has to get past Auburn. Auburn you say? Hardest damn team for Georgia and Alabama to beat especially when AU is sucking eggs. At least Ears has our vaunted defense to look forward to this weekend. And we have The Baby Sex Cannon. Burning question: can he get 400 yards in a game?
And… can anyone explain how the ACC is going to shake out? Who is in the driver’s seat? Why do I care?
November 10th, 2008 at 11:53 am
12
MSR says:
All Bama’s done is win, doing so in their opponents’ houses in their two toughest games. It’s a pretty ridiculous to discount them as the number one team at this point (that’s not to say Texas Tech can’t make a legitimate claim as well, although it really doesn’t matter which is #1 right now)–but (regrettably) college football is ever-increasingly becoming a beauty contest, winning and losing be damned.
November 10th, 2008 at 11:55 am
13
Brian O'Blivion says:
TTU beats OU and they will be everyone’s #1…yarrr. If TTU plays Florida for the MNC, they won’t be able to set the over/under high enough. Has there ever been a o/u of 100 or more? That game might be it.
November 10th, 2008 at 12:01 pm
14
That 5.0 Guy says:
Big Sexy is writing an article for the Kansas City Star that will sear the skin of any blogger within five hundred miles for your diss-age of Ball State, Orson.
This is the same rage that has destroyed many-a Golden Corrals and Ponderosas.
He is becoming Hungry,
Destroyer of Deli’s.
November 10th, 2008 at 12:12 pm
15
Just another Michigan Man says:
Bohica is a Jungle term.
Bend Over, Here It Comes Again
Also known as Big 10 Championship football…
November 10th, 2008 at 12:15 pm
16
cjdomer04 says:
“Minnesota, who has the thinnest 7-2 record in the nation”
So thin, in fact, that they are 7-3 with a beatdown from Michigan. Also, how does TCU drop 12 spots when losing by 3 at #9?
November 10th, 2008 at 12:25 pm
17
HeadThief says:
I so hope my Sooners beat TT. I can’t wait to see the logic at that point. Let’s see, TT beat the Longhorns, so I have to rank TT above UT. And UT beat OU, so I have to rank them ahead of OU. But wait, OU beat Tech, and my previous logic just had TT-UT-OU. That’s the beauty of the system. If we had a playoff, you couldn’t argue this crap incessantly.
The most wickedly amusing scenario for me personnaly is if OU beats TT and OSU, UT goes to the Big 12 champ game and gets upset by a crappy team from the North.
November 10th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
18
Texas Gal says:
OU will murder TTU.
And the most wickedly amusing scenario for me personally is that all OU fans have to continue to live in Oklahoma.
November 10th, 2008 at 12:29 pm
19
RotoJeff says:
I’d argue that your ranking of TCU is overly harsh – their only two losses were @ OU and @ Utah, and they outgained Utah by a pretty wide margin. They certainly have to be ranked over BYU, no?
November 10th, 2008 at 12:29 pm
20
Cleat Meat says:
No. 6 for USC, despite the Oregon State self-soiling, seems a bit … disrespectful. The Trojans’ O sometimes takes whole halves off, but the D is an impenetrable force of speed, muscle and unholy malice.
November 10th, 2008 at 12:40 pm
21
Raleigh Urbain says:
I would say that our defense optional is rapidly approaching defense non-existent. Allowing 24 more points to Kentucky than Mississippi State. I mean…..damn
November 10th, 2008 at 12:41 pm
22
allaha says:
LSU takes the No. 1 team in the country to overtime — and then drops 6+ spots and falls out of the polls?!?
Notwithstanding my comment above, bless you for having the decency to rank Texas over Oklahoma — and implicitly suggesting that when two comparable teams play each other and one wins, perhaps the winning team should have the higher ranking. Obvious, perhaps, but apparently not to many human voters (and idiot coaches casting ballots).
November 10th, 2008 at 12:43 pm
23
TrojanRick says:
Joshua at #3
USC at #6 is based on the best defense in the country, as it showed tOSU, which Penn. State barely defeated. I mean they did not even score a TD!
I don’t care who might or might not have played that day.
Yes, soiled shorts against the PSU common opponent understood, but the Nittanys may get a chance to determine that ranking come Jan. 1 if Oregon State loses a game, and the Trojans win out, meaning in Pasadena.
November 10th, 2008 at 12:52 pm
24
Nutter says:
Texas Gal, that brought tears to my eyes.
Bob Stoops still hates puppies and orphans.
November 10th, 2008 at 12:55 pm
25
Ted says:
The ACC is the AFC East of college football this year. All the teams are pretty much the same, just slightly above average. Benchmark examples for those understandably not paying attention: better than Ole Miss or Notre Dame or Nebraska. Teams are prone to alternately lose to anyone anytime anywhere, hence defeats to MTSU, ECSU, and almost Gardner-Webb. Teams are characterized by these traits: good defense, hot and cold offense, chock full of young players, terrified of success. Conference games play out like the parity driven NFL with the outcome not decided until the 4th quarter.
Not bad to watch if you’re interested. Which you wouldn’t be unless you went to one of the member schools or were a true college football junkie.
November 10th, 2008 at 12:59 pm
26
AlanInDC says:
Ball State at 24th and dropping a spot? After ringing up the best defense in the conference for 45 points and a three-quarter game for the offense? The same team that’s undefeated and ranked 14th in the BCS? You know, the one who just kicked the shit out of a supposed tough conference foe on national television?
Perhaps the biggest reason to vote them higher? Craig James has them 25th. And do you really want to be on the same track as him?
November 10th, 2008 at 1:07 pm
27
Joshua says:
“We’re not impressed with Penn State. At all.” And you are with Southern Cal? Whatever.
And Texas Gal, don’t get to confident in that pick. OU is potent, but that defense has to stop TT. I don’t think they will. It’ll be highscoring, if anything.
November 10th, 2008 at 1:52 pm
28
dawgaddict says:
Orson, are you rapidly approaching not just insufferable homer, but insufferable homo?
Pitt ahead of UGA?
really?
admittedly, our D is porous like a N’awlins levee, but not holey enough to lose to Rutgers or Bowling Green….
stop hatin’ lawya!
it’ll be fun to watch the Dawgs play tOSU in my personally predicted bowl matchup.
we have no defense, but they have no offense, do i smell 0-10?!
S-E-C SPEED!
Orson, you stop teh gay please.
PS- to all that recommended Clark’s Fish Camp for dinner in JAX, thanks! the gator tail was fine, but nothing compared to what we saw on The Landing all dolled up for Halloween.
and the only bright point in an otherwise fruitless trip.
November 10th, 2008 at 2:28 pm
29
CuseFanInSoCal says:
#7 – From the safety of San Diego, I’ll claim that ‘Bama isn’t a weak #1, they’re a weak #2. But other than ‘Bama over Texas Tech at #1, Orson’s taken care of most my BlogPoll nitpicks this week. Penn State is ahead of the undefeated mid-majors. Oklahoma State is ahead of Missouri. Ohio State is ahead of Georgia. Pitt and Cinci are ranked.
November 10th, 2008 at 2:41 pm
30
SpartanDan says:
1) Texas Tech is #1. I don’t think it’s really that close, even – they have two wins that are at least equal to (and by your poll, better than) Alabama’s best.
2) Pitt? Seriously? I suppose beating Iowa by 1 looks a little more impressive now that Penn State failed to do so (though it was at home), but other than that what do they have? A win over South Florida (now unranked), and losses to Rutgers (below .500) and Bowling Green (.500 in the MAC) at home, both by at least two scores? I could see Pitt in the 20s, but not #13 and sure as hell not above Georgia (much as I like to rag on Georgia for getting facestomped by both Florida and first-half Alabama, they don’t have a pair of home losses to bad teams).
November 10th, 2008 at 3:01 pm
31
SpartanDan says:
TrojanRick: You realize that neither Penn State nor Purdue allowed an offensive TD to Ohio State either, right? And both of those faced Pryor and Wells, not Boeckman and whoever the hell OSU’s backup RB is.
November 10th, 2008 at 3:03 pm
32
Jester says:
Pitt @ 13 looks about right to me.
November 10th, 2008 at 3:11 pm
33
D-Nice says:
I don’t mind USC at No. 6 in front of Penn St. (always remember the college football creed – it’s better to lose early, and it’s all understandable), even though USC lost to Oregon St., while Penn St. manhandled them.
Does it really even matter? Neither are going to the BCS title game unless Alabama loses 2 games, Texas Tech loses 2 games, and Oklahoma, Texas, and Florida ALL lose another game.
Oregon St. could be gentlemanly and lose a game so USC and PSU could square off in the Rose Bowl.
As to USC (as a BIG fan), I have absolutely no problem with the non-hype surrounding USC this year. They’re very good, but not like years past. And, their schedule just didn’t shake out. No Pac-10 team was ranked high enough to be more than a kinda impressive win (Oregon, Cal), and ND sucks, which in years past would have been a great win.
But, I would love to see that USC defense up against some of these SEC, Big 12 offensive juggarnauts, but it probably isn’t going to happen, unless in a non-championship game.
November 10th, 2008 at 3:18 pm
34
hlh says:
Strength of schedule spreadsheet.
http://web1.ncaa.org/mfb/2008/Internet/toughest%20schedule/fbs_9games_cumm.pdf
Bammers…..prepare to scroll.
November 10th, 2008 at 3:52 pm
35
RIP Logan Young says:
hlh (34),
I am prepared to scroll, but I just can’t seem to stop staring at our AP, Harris, USA Today, and BCS #1 rankings long enough to do so. Oh well.
November 10th, 2008 at 4:07 pm
36
Stacy Keibler Luvs Me says:
USC Rules! Dept:
Do not count USC out of the national picture just yet.
In USC’s wins this year, they have averaged 40 points on offense and just given up just FOUR (4) measly points on average per game. Best D in the land. (The Oregon State game was bad, but not that bad, considering that outside the Big 12 South, no one is lighting the world on fire.)
Vegas would make USC favorites over any team in the country right now on a nuetral field.
November 10th, 2008 at 4:11 pm
37
RIP Logan Young says:
Vegas doesn’t predict who will win. Vegas predicts what the conventional wisdom will be among bettors as to who will win (and by how much).
November 10th, 2008 at 4:29 pm
38
tzubear says:
@36 SKLM
I don’t know about that. UDub and Wazzu will pad anybodies stats. SC has not shown up against a decent defense since the UofO game.
November 10th, 2008 at 4:47 pm
39
Brian O'Blivion says:
USC will be a victim of its schedule. Florida still has a ranked F$U on the road, and #1 or #2 Bama (assuming they stay undefeated), and if UF wins both of those games, they are in over USC, which has Stanford, UCLA and ND left.
I don’t think a 1-loss OU makes it in over 1-loss UF either, assuming UT wins out. There was too much consternation over OU making it in last time when they didn’t win their conference.
November 10th, 2008 at 4:49 pm
40
dawgaddict says:
Brian.
TTU will NOT score 50+ on UF.
this is nonsense you speak.
now, if you are suggesting that UF might score 60+ on TTU and TTU might score 30+….i won’t argue…
November 10th, 2008 at 5:07 pm
41
Brian O'Blivion says:
dawgaddict,
TTU could definitely score 40+ on Florida. Florida has only faced one passing offense in the top 50 in the nation (UGA, 18th) to this point. This is not exactly a great sample size to determine whether they could handle the #1 passing team in the nation. And Florida can definitely score 60 on TTU. It’s unlikely to happen with the new clock rules, but it could.
November 10th, 2008 at 5:22 pm
42
conundrum says:
OK, I want some constructive feedback on this scenario, which seems plausible:
Texas beats Baylor, Kansas and A&M handily.
Tech stomps Baylor.
Oklahoma beats Tech in a game that’s decided in the final 2 minutes. They beat OK St. comfortably, but not in a rout.
That leaves a three-way tie, to be broken by the BCS standings. Who *should* win the tiebreaker? Who *would* win the tiebreaker?
November 10th, 2008 at 5:37 pm
43
conundrum says:
Ponder this scenario:
Texas beats Baylor, Kansas and the Aggies handily.
Tech stomps Baylor.
Oklahoma beats Tech, game decided in final 2 minutes. Oklahoma beats OK St comfortably, but not in a rout.
Result is a tie for the division, to be broken by BCS standings. Who *should* win the tiebreaker in that situation? Who *would* win the tiebreaker?
November 10th, 2008 at 5:47 pm
44
conundrum says:
I also need help learning how to post :-/
November 10th, 2008 at 6:07 pm
45
Vandy J says:
Did I hear correctly that Texas Tech has not one but TWO I-AA teams on the schedule? Is that even allowed? Of course, the Tide gets no help from the fact that Clemson turned out to be only slightly tougher than Jem and the Holograms.
November 10th, 2008 at 6:10 pm
46
Brandon Lang says:
#42 and #43.
Tie Breaker in the Big 12 South is highest BCS rank, or so I am told. And that should be Texas, rightfully so in my opinion.
November 10th, 2008 at 10:23 pm
47
Raider Red says:
Vandy,
That’s right…we were supposed to play Tulsa but they backed out in June (way effing late, thanks douchebag Todd Graham) to play Arkansas. Arky offered them $1,000,000…hope you put that coin to good use, Todd! We had to scramble to fill the spot with Eastern Washington. We already had UMass on the schedule.
You can play as many 1-AA teams as you want, but only one win per year counts toward bowl eligibility. I do not know exactly how the computer polls penalize you for playing those teams…I know Sagarin has them ranked just like 1-A teams. (Both EWU and UMass are higher rated than SMU, FWIW)
November 10th, 2008 at 11:29 pm