The arrows may or may not be right--we've submitted multiple, angsty drafts at this point, and the deltas may be completely scrambled now--but the muddle is totally real. Sometime after 8 or 9, this goes to shit completely and totally.

Rank	Team	Delta
1	Alabama	--
2	Texas Tech	--
3	Texas	2
4	Florida	--
5	Oklahoma	1
6	Southern Cal	2
7	Penn State	4
8	Ohio State	2
9	Utah	2
10	Boise State	3
11	Oklahoma State	4
12	Missouri	6
13	Pittsburgh	11
14	Georgia	--
15	Michigan State	1
16	North Carolina	10
17	Florida State	9
18	Brigham Young	8
19	Cincinnati	2
20	Virginia Tech	6
21	TCU	12
22	South Carolina	4
23	West Virginia	11
24	Ball State	1
25	Tulsa	--

Yes, it sucks. To be frank, we don't even like our number one at this point. Alabama's offense has spells of crapulence, and their signature wins against Georgia, Clemson, and LSU look less impressive with each passing week of 2008 Georgia/Clemson/LSU football. (Defense: optional!)

Texas? Sure. Guesswork. It's all just lunchmeat thrown on the asses of so many miserable groupies at this point. (PAPA ROACH YEAAAHHH!!!!) The randomized excellence of the Big 12 South right now forces us to put Texas above Oklahoma because they beat them. Otherwise Oklahoma score points like a mid-debate fired-up Christopher Hitchens on his second bottle of sherry on anyone they choose to annihilate.

The rest: hopeless. The easy crutches are all gone. Pittsburgh? Really? Michigan State? Don't make us rank Virginia Tech, life; no please, do not make us rank them, or Minnesota, who has the thinnest 7-2 record in the nation. Michigan and Tennessee being decent made this 8 percent easier in the good old days, but now we're left in the soup line ladling out Cincinnati and TCU gruel. Spare us a dime. This season has left us bereft of solid rankings, and a bailout is needed.