THE FRANCHIONE INTERVIEW: YES, HE CAN.
The offices of Kansas State football. 11:00 a.m. Thursday, November 7th 2008.
Bob Krause, Kansas State AD: You know the shit we’re going to get for firing a black coach?
Assistant: Sir, that may be the case. But I have a solution.
Bob Krause: Did people even realize Prince was black?
Assistant: Wait, he was black?
Bob Krause: Wait, was he?
Assistant: I thought he was Polynesian.
Bob Krause: Shit, I just thought he was tan.
Assistant: Like I said. Irrelevant now. I’ve got a minority candidate coming in momentarily that will knock your socks off.
Bob Krause: Thank god. Worst since 1993? That’s insane.
Assistant: And…here he is!
The door opens
Dennis Franchione: Gentleman, can we succeed at Kansas State? YES WE CAN! YES WE CAN! Boys, let’s take success hostage one win at a time!
Eight Rangers with fake weapons take Krause and the Assistant hostage. Tear gas floods the room.
Rangers: HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT
Franchione, coughing and rolling on floor: AAAAHHHH!!! MY EYES!!! First the self-tanner, and now the pepper spray. BUT AREN’T YOU MOTIVATED?
Krause: Someone open a window, dammit.
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1
Kerwin4two says:
He’s tan…he’s rested…and he’s back
November 7th, 2008 at 10:53 am
2
I R A Darth Aggie says:
Byrne? since when did $Bill switch to KState?
November 7th, 2008 at 10:54 am
3
Roaminggator says:
Firing someone based on their race is discrimination.
So is hiring them, by the way. (Or voting for them for President)
Would you rather base your decision on the content of their character, or the color of their skin (using Dr. Kings’ words.)
Yes, it is a problem that there are so few minority coaches, but using discrimination (Fighting fire with fire) isn’t the answer.
November 7th, 2008 at 10:54 am
4
scalz1 says:
O,
As a former Ranger, I can say without a doubt, I’ve never “Hutted.”
That’s a SWAT thing, and very, very gay.
Rangers don’t make a noise until your windpipe is already on the ground, and your life force is waning away.
November 7th, 2008 at 11:02 am
5
sb says:
roamin’ @ #3…no room here for logical, rational thought. Stop it now or go away.
November 7th, 2008 at 11:02 am
6
Scalz1 says:
Unlees of course, you’re speaking of the Rangers from proper football team from the UK. I cannot speak on that.
November 7th, 2008 at 11:05 am
7
Orson Swindle says:
Scalz: noted. Also, remind me to get behind you at the next EDSBS tailgate brawl.
November 7th, 2008 at 11:06 am
8
MSR says:
The Obama reference is particularly appropriate given that Fran is about as black as Barack.
November 7th, 2008 at 11:07 am
9
DC Trojan says:
MSR @ 8 – are you working off some kind of Pantone sheet, or the old mullato – quadroon – octoroon standard?
November 7th, 2008 at 11:12 am
10
scalz1 says:
O,
Name the time and place, I’ll bring the flash bangs and squad automatic weapons.
November 7th, 2008 at 11:12 am
11
MSR says:
Actually, DC, I was referring to how “black” Obama is culturally, but don’t let that stop you from implying racism at every invocation of race that isn’t straight out of the Liberal’s Guide to White Guilt.
November 7th, 2008 at 11:17 am
12
Orson Swindle says:
Knock it the fuck off.
November 7th, 2008 at 11:18 am
13
DrBundy says:
Nothing like an election to bring the nation together, huh?
Anyway, the next EDSBS tailgate brawl could very well be this weekend in Red Stick when “T-Ben” Rousselle tries to claim that boudin from Don’s in Lafayette is better than Richard’s in Church Point. My money is on Don’s. The boudin will be on my grill. Loser cleans the winners game this hunting season. There will be blood, and it won’t be from the deer.
November 7th, 2008 at 11:31 am
14
brougham says:
I’ve never seen Fran as in the running to play Clayface, but this has really opened my eyes.
November 7th, 2008 at 11:32 am
15
CK says:
indeed.
Lets discuss the sound of the belly slapping between Mt. Cody and Baby Herm…. no more politics!!!
November 7th, 2008 at 11:32 am
16
ToddlyKSU says:
Orson…Thats BOB Krause…not Bill Krause. Though, he’s such a forgettable character, I can see why one would make the mistake.
November 7th, 2008 at 11:35 am
17
ugacrow says:
MSR and roaminggator,
It’s a sad, sad day when a few folks can’t share some asinine laughs about race in a college football blog without folks getting all politically correct on them. I think you were looking for http://www.huffingtonpost.com.
November 7th, 2008 at 11:51 am
18
Orson Swindle says:
UGACrow:
The next tardbilly who uses “politically correct”, or who links the HuffPo, or who takes any other page from the tactical manual for ignorant internet political debate and vomits it wholesale onto this site is gone for good.
November 7th, 2008 at 12:04 pm
19
Gator03 says:
Where are the funny comments? Not to change the subject or anything, but: dick joke.
November 7th, 2008 at 12:05 pm
20
Excuse me Stewardess, but I speak jive says:
Amen.
The only retarded ranting done here shall be about football.
That being said, if I hear that goddam rose garden joke one more time i am going to start shooting…
November 7th, 2008 at 12:12 pm
21
Anonymous IV says:
Has any one else seen the tanning salon ad that stated, “because tan fat is better than white fat.”
November 7th, 2008 at 12:14 pm
22
King Puppy says:
Franny is Italian. In my book, that’s close enough to count as a “minority” hire. He could stand to be a little more swarthy, though.
November 7th, 2008 at 12:15 pm
23
Orson Swindle says:
Anonymous: it is, unless that tan fat belongs to Tara Reid.
November 7th, 2008 at 12:15 pm
24
West Tex gal says:
@ 21 – that is a direct quote from my mother.
Fran should have been tan and rested for several years now – it shouldn’t have required too much work to produce the product he did at TAMU.
November 7th, 2008 at 12:21 pm
25
Anonymous IV says:
That Tara Reid link was disgusting! Man you should have put a not safe for humanity label on that link. I now want to rip my eyes out with a rusty spoon and shove wasabi into my sockets.
November 7th, 2008 at 12:22 pm
26
ugacrow says:
Orson,
Maybe I’m confused, but isn’t my post consistent with the ethos of this blog? I’m of the opinion that this is as apolitical as it gets — and I was encouraging a couple of folks who were looking to make erudite political commentary to go to a website that condones that sorta thing. Sorry if I’m outta line here, but I’m flummoxed. Thanks for the explanation.
November 7th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
27
Raider Red says:
I think Franny’s more the “weaselly blackmail” type, as opposed to the brute force “Orgeron assault” type.
November 7th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
28
Orson Swindle says:
UGAcrow: i’m in error. Yellow card rescinded. Our smiting stick has been touchy this week.
November 7th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
29
Gator03 says:
Anonymous–Agreed. It was tough to beat the footage of Patrick Edwards’s leg going all twizzler-y on him, but those pictures might have just done it.
November 7th, 2008 at 12:30 pm
30
Raider Red says:
Besides, Franchione’s about as Italian as Totino’s Party Pizza.
Speaking of which, ding! Lunch is served.
November 7th, 2008 at 12:31 pm
31
MikeLew says:
Yellow cards? YELLOW CARDS? Homey don’t play that namby-pamby Eurotrash game of futbol….
You should hit people with this penalty: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eslz06J9hFw&feature=related
November 7th, 2008 at 12:37 pm
32
meatybob says:
@Raider
Aren’t they great! Most people have the psychological heurstic that “cheap” must mean “bad”, but Totino’s $1 of bliss destroys many a $30 pizza I’ve had.
November 7th, 2008 at 12:45 pm
33
The Gentleman Masher says:
King Puppy – if K-State hires an Italian coach, to go along with Mangino at KU…I’m going to call for a full-scale investigation into the KC Mafia’s involvement!
November 7th, 2008 at 12:58 pm
34
hailstate says:
Mississippi State fans would happily make it 2 African-American coaches in D1 football at the end of the year.*
*hopefully that number will rise to a more appropriate level in 2009, as long as Sylvester Croom isn’t in that number.
November 7th, 2008 at 1:15 pm
35
EZ says:
When was Fran at Mark Richt’s house using his tanning bed?
November 7th, 2008 at 1:22 pm
36
the croominator says:
Yellow card? What happened to the cattle gun?
I’m just hopeful that now we live in a country where, to paraphrase Dr. King, a man is judged not by the color of their skin, but by the shittiness of their coaching.
November 7th, 2008 at 2:07 pm
37
DC Trojan says:
Jesus wept, Orson, as did Mohamed, the Buddha, Ganesh, Odin, Apollo, and indeed the entire ecumenical panel of divinities and prophets convened for judgement to be rendered – and rendered is the appropriate word in more than one sense – on whether Tara Reid’s “ass” is an offense against gods and nature.
Withered doesn’t begin to cover it. Lead shields might.
November 7th, 2008 at 2:25 pm
38
Doug says:
Every time I look at Tara Reid nowadays, I’m reminded of one of Samuel L. Jackson’s lines from “Jackie Brown” — “What the fuck happened to you, man? You used to be beautiful.”
November 7th, 2008 at 2:55 pm
39
BamaTaxMan says:
Orson,
Give yourself the yellow card for the Tara Reid link.
Does anybody know where I can get some eyebleach?
November 7th, 2008 at 3:01 pm
40
Ted says:
Tara Reid was a warning for you politicos. Next time its Amy Weinhouse.
November 7th, 2008 at 6:09 pm