Whether it was time for him to go or not, the teams reaction at the press conference says a lot.

We’ll see just how much this firing impacts the Vols (and for how long).

We could almost always count on his sphincter being set to “Diamond Production” for the annual Florida game, and his coaching decisions were always fun to analyze.

He was fun to taunt, and fun to watch when the Vols were melting down. If Spurrier, redfaced and pissed as hell throwing his visor, represents pure coaching rage at it’s maximum level, Phat Phil at his worst was probably about a “2″…. kind of like when I go out to get my Sunday paper and find that it’s wet.

Cutcliffe brought you whatever offensive competence/relevance you’ve had, and Grobe’s been winning with pencil shavings for years.

In our top story, a young blond woman with fabulous hair is in custody tonight. Police arrested her this afternoon as she staggered down the 405 wearing only one shoe and a heavily soiled Tennessee Volunteers football jersey. Jack Tungsten has more.

Thanks, Slap. LAPD has identified this woman, Holly Anderson, as the woman seen in this video. As you can see, she is clearly in a state of drunken euphoria as she throws bottles of something she later called “corn likker” and flashes her bare behind at passing vehicles.

Her words are slurred and she speaks in a thick Southern accent, Slap, but I believe she is screaming, “Death to the Fat Man” and “Fulmer can suck my dick.” We’re not sure what she’s referring to here.

Police have sedated the young woman, saying she kept trying to kiss every black officer and saying, “You look like Eric Berry. Give mama some sugar.” Police have not been able to identify this “Eric Berry,” though we assume he works in some capacity with the Securities and Exchange Commission because she kept chanting, “SEC, SEC.”

Anderson has not yet been charged, but police expect to charge her with drunk and disorderly, public nudity, misdemeanor vandalism and threatening a federal official.

Reporting live from police headquarters, I’m Jack Tungsten. Back to you, Slap.

Hey, I hear Parallelogram-Head might be available. The Windbreaker style is so comfy, yet professional.

Thanks also for the revelation that I’m not the only person in the world using the phrase “simpering buffoon” to describe John Adams. No buffoon, and I mean NO buffoon, simpers like John Adams. Kudos to Chris Low.

Signed, Steve S.
(hmm, no, that’s too obvious)
S. Spurrier