FULMER: TOAST (ROAST?); KNS: DROWSY
I mean, of course he is. If this coaching staff had anyone left in their corner at all after treating a reeling, gutted fanbase to a full quarter of Jonathan Crompton, I’d love to hear from them.
So, here we go. It’s time; there’s absolutely no arguing that, but for a city and a team threatened by the remotest hint of change the balance of the season looms dark and our natural pessimism has finally found purchase. Even with both feet in the FIRE HIS ASS YESTERDAY camp, I was never going to be entirely comfortable when this day came. He’s the coach of my childhood, the devil I know. Six weeks ago, I wrote, “It’s our time at the edge, and the stay will be neither brief nor pleasant.” I had no idea.
But if there’s anything to celebrate here with complete joyful abandon (for me, campers, for me), it’s that Chris Low scooped the living hell out of the Knoxville News-Sentinel, a terrible paper with a simpering buffoon of a sports editor in John Adams. Save your preening, sir—you’ve had a public, exhausting vendetta against the guy for years and today you got beat. ABIGAIL Adams would’ve had that story first, and that bitch has been dead almost 200 years.









1
Volgrad82 says:
The reason that dumbass John Adams isn’t scooping this is because he’s currently on the air on his radio show while this is transpiring. Funny enough, he got his information and broke the story based on Chris Low’s report.
…I think we’re about to have our own Callahan/Dubose/Shula/Willingham moment in Big Orange Country.
November 3rd, 2008 at 11:47 am
2
OllieGator says:
Krispy Kreme in Knoxville is having a meeting later this morning to lay off workers due to this news. More at 11…
I think the only thing that can save the Krispy Kreme is the hiring of Mark Mangino. Therefore – Mangino for HC!
November 3rd, 2008 at 11:49 am
3
RaginCajunRebel says:
So who do they hire? I’d love to see the Orgeron get another bite at the SEC apple. There’s also a rumor that Willingham won’t be busy soon…and there’s always at least ONE Bowden out there looking to coach. Or perhaps Cutcliffe? Please God, let it be Cutcliffe…
November 3rd, 2008 at 11:49 am
4
Holly says:
The next person to mention Butch Davis to me gets punched in the mouf. No. No no no no no.
November 3rd, 2008 at 11:49 am
5
bigthirsty says:
ITS A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE
November 3rd, 2008 at 11:49 am
6
OllieGator says:
@ #1
No [NAME REDACTED] in that list?
November 3rd, 2008 at 11:50 am
7
Johnny says:
….and what of the Fulmer Cup? Does it get a new name? Retired?
Think of the kids before you answer that.
November 3rd, 2008 at 11:51 am
8
BamaCPA says:
Holly, Coach Fran is available. So, so available.
November 3rd, 2008 at 11:52 am
9
Volgrad82 says:
@ #6- He had his chance here and thieved away our playbook. Don’t wish that kind of black evil magic on us, Ollie..
November 3rd, 2008 at 11:52 am
10
BurritoBrosShits says:
No peremptory “Boom” hopes? Jesus if Ty Willingham gets this job I’m not sure whether to laugh at UT’s stupidity or sympathize with Ty.
November 3rd, 2008 at 11:55 am
11
BamaTaxMan says:
Holly, I understand about coach of your childhood, I was a sophomore at Alabama when Coach Bryant retired, then passed.
However, I have to admit to a bit of schadenfreude on this. It really couldn’t have happened to a more deserving individual.
#7 – I think the name stays – the confusion that would reign if it changed…..
November 3rd, 2008 at 11:55 am
12
Not You says:
I hear that Bobby Petrino, while not available, is willing to consider leaving to help. He has the jet fueled up and ready to chat, in fact!
November 3rd, 2008 at 11:56 am
13
CrimsonBarrister says:
Alabama atop the polls…
Fulmer out…
Tubs losing to Ole Miss…
Best. Monday. Ever.
November 3rd, 2008 at 11:58 am
14
ALGator says:
Going to be wierd not having the great pumpkin raoming the sidelines next year for UT….
November 3rd, 2008 at 12:05 pm
15
Brian O'Blivion says:
@13 and Florida THUMPS UGA in the WLOCO.
Delicious, delicious schadenfreude.
November 3rd, 2008 at 12:06 pm
16
ALGator says:
* roaming…
November 3rd, 2008 at 12:06 pm
17
kleph says:
ok people, let’s just nip this fran crap in the bud. the last thing i want in this world is having to behold his unctious visage each week ever again. its not even worth having the opportunity to destroy his team on an annual basis. send him to the wac or something but keep him as far from the sec as possible.
November 3rd, 2008 at 12:07 pm
18
Orson Swindle says:
Dennis Franchione! Dennis Franchione! Dennis Franchione!
November 3rd, 2008 at 12:08 pm
19
The Snake will Drive Again! says:
Tubberville likes orange; would be an easy transition.
November 3rd, 2008 at 12:10 pm
20
sjs1959 says:
YARRRRRR! The WWL just suggested our beloved pirate leader, Mike Leach, as a possible successor.
November 3rd, 2008 at 12:12 pm
21
Crabapple Buck says:
It can’t be Mangino. If you are going progressively fatter yet, then who would follow Mangino? That is impossible.
John Cooper is from Tennessee. He is available and could lead your charges for a few years until better candidates become available. He can’t beat your rival, but will keep your Fulmer Cup hopes alive.
November 3rd, 2008 at 12:13 pm
22
Rawk says:
Holly, please share with us the bottom name on your acceptable future head coach list, so we know where you and the Eric Berry nation are setting the bar at.
November 3rd, 2008 at 12:13 pm
23
sjs1959 says:
Buck, Michigan isn’t on UT’s schedule any time soon, so it COULD work..
November 3rd, 2008 at 12:14 pm
24
Holly says:
Rawk, I’m no help right now. Everyone I want falls squarely in the “never gonna happen” column. (Mike Gundy AND Trooper Taylor! Package deal! Kittens and unicorns and rainbow sunsets!)
November 3rd, 2008 at 12:18 pm
25
Statesboro Dawg says:
Please let it be Jim Donnan……
November 3rd, 2008 at 12:18 pm
26
Joshua says:
Why is no one mentioning Mike Archer or Curley Hallman? Both have tremendous experience in the SEC, which Kiffin and Davis can’t even begin to claim. Both have been around winners (meaning, they coached against Spurrier and Stallings). Both already know their way around a Golden Flake endorsement deal so that won’t distract them. What’s the hold up Holly?
November 3rd, 2008 at 12:19 pm
27
sjs1959 says:
Sure, Tommy West would listen if his alma mater called; Memphis may yet go to another bowl game this year!
November 3rd, 2008 at 12:22 pm
28
Crabapple Buck says:
sjs1959
Even Cooper could beat this years version. After living thru the Cooper years, the schadenfreude is nearly too much to bear. BTW, he was hired in the first place BECAUSE he beat Michigan in the Rose Bowl while at Arizona State.
November 3rd, 2008 at 12:23 pm
29
jakldawg says:
Enjoy your bottomless schadenfreude lunch buffet, folks.
November 3rd, 2008 at 12:25 pm
30
Rawk says:
You aren’t the only one, Holly. My good friend who loves the Orange is in that same boat. This could be the only coaching change that brings sites like hirecoachwhoever.com to the internet. This appears to be super-cereal to you guys.
November 3rd, 2008 at 12:27 pm
31
Brian O'Blivion says:
Spurrier is from Tennessee, and his hiring would at least reverse one SEC loss every year.
And I know they are long shots, but I’d love to see Rick Neuheisel or Dennis Erickson in the SEC for pure entertainment value alone.
November 3rd, 2008 at 12:31 pm
32
Erdinger says:
Steve Spurrier.
November 3rd, 2008 at 12:32 pm
33
Splat says:
Please take Cutcliffe back. Duke verging on competence is destroying too many worldviews.
November 3rd, 2008 at 12:37 pm
34
BamaCPA says:
Don’t forget, Coach Fran is undefeated in Neyland – and he could start tomorrow.
November 3rd, 2008 at 12:38 pm
35
The Tusk says:
Mike the Pirate as head coach, the Ogeron as DC, and New-weasel as OC/QB coach/lead guitar.
November 3rd, 2008 at 12:58 pm
36
ALGator says:
I was taking a dump last week in the men’s room at the copper cellar in Knoxville.. long story short, Spurrier came in, washed his hands and farted. Just sayin’……
November 3rd, 2008 at 12:58 pm
37
peachy says:
I’m still in Coach Fulmer’s corner, and I think Jonathon Crompton is a fine young quarterback who should be played as much as possible.
Signed, Steve S.
(hmm, no, that’s too obvious)
S. Spurrier
November 3rd, 2008 at 1:04 pm
38
GroundZeroEastLansing says:
DickRod is checking his buyout clause as we speak.
November 3rd, 2008 at 1:10 pm
39
chad adams says:
Thank God this is finally over.
Thanks also for the revelation that I’m not the only person in the world using the phrase “simpering buffoon” to describe John Adams. No buffoon, and I mean NO buffoon, simpers like John Adams. Kudos to Chris Low.
November 3rd, 2008 at 1:11 pm
40
BadgerMan says:
Hide the razors, on the off chance that they make the 100% reliable decision to HIRE FROM WITHIN!
Hey, I hear Parallelogram-Head might be available. The Windbreaker style is so comfy, yet professional.
November 3rd, 2008 at 1:13 pm
41
Harris says:
Thank your for tuning in to KTLA News at 10. I’m Slap Beefchest.
In our top story, a young blond woman with fabulous hair is in custody tonight. Police arrested her this afternoon as she staggered down the 405 wearing only one shoe and a heavily soiled Tennessee Volunteers football jersey. Jack Tungsten has more.
Thanks, Slap. LAPD has identified this woman, Holly Anderson, as the woman seen in this video. As you can see, she is clearly in a state of drunken euphoria as she throws bottles of something she later called “corn likker” and flashes her bare behind at passing vehicles.
Her words are slurred and she speaks in a thick Southern accent, Slap, but I believe she is screaming, “Death to the Fat Man” and “Fulmer can suck my dick.” We’re not sure what she’s referring to here.
Police have sedated the young woman, saying she kept trying to kiss every black officer and saying, “You look like Eric Berry. Give mama some sugar.” Police have not been able to identify this “Eric Berry,” though we assume he works in some capacity with the Securities and Exchange Commission because she kept chanting, “SEC, SEC.”
Anderson has not yet been charged, but police expect to charge her with drunk and disorderly, public nudity, misdemeanor vandalism and threatening a federal official.
Reporting live from police headquarters, I’m Jack Tungsten. Back to you, Slap.
November 3rd, 2008 at 1:15 pm
42
OhioDawg says:
Find the best DIAA or DII coach you can.
November 3rd, 2008 at 1:39 pm
43
Albino Tornado says:
If y’all don’t hire either Cutcliffe or Jim Grobe, well, y’all just must not want to win.
Cutcliffe brought you whatever offensive competence/relevance you’ve had, and Grobe’s been winning with pencil shavings for years.
November 3rd, 2008 at 3:03 pm
44
General Disarray says:
It’s a sad day for me to think about Rocky Top without the Fat Man.
We could almost always count on his sphincter being set to “Diamond Production” for the annual Florida game, and his coaching decisions were always fun to analyze.
He was fun to taunt, and fun to watch when the Vols were melting down. If Spurrier, redfaced and pissed as hell throwing his visor, represents pure coaching rage at it’s maximum level, Phat Phil at his worst was probably about a “2″…. kind of like when I go out to get my Sunday paper and find that it’s wet.
November 3rd, 2008 at 3:56 pm
45
crimson daddy says:
Not to too our own horn (of course that means I will) but TSIB scooped the living hell out of e’erbody by posting it last week.
November 3rd, 2008 at 5:19 pm
46
Marcus says:
Well said.
Whether it was time for him to go or not, the teams reaction at the press conference says a lot.
We’ll see just how much this firing impacts the Vols (and for how long).
November 3rd, 2008 at 9:18 pm
47
Goatroper says:
Joe Kinessssssssssss!!!! FTW
November 4th, 2008 at 3:54 pm