Pardon me sir. I am looking for the BOOM. Do you have any, kind sir?

Brandon Spikes: YES I DO AND I DELIVER.

FREE OF CHARGE AND OPEN ALL DAY SIR. (Orange and Blue Hue explains. Brandon Spikes you are most debonair-savage.)

We don’t like to break the hearts of old men but so sad we will. The BCS standings came out yesterday. Amusing things surround this like flies around carrion. Barry Switzer announced them, a choice funny enough all by itself thanks to it being Barry Switzer in charge of an open microphone, a situation which can never go wrong.

Also funny: the decision by a pollster to vote Texas number one despite losing, proving that every week the Harris poll hands on ballot to an Orangutang named Hank at the Tulsa Zoo. Hank then takes it, cracks open a beer, smokes a Kool Light or two, and hands in one of the most thoughtful, well-composed poll ballots you’ll ever see. Simultaneously, a human inevitably fucks up and does something like putting Texas at number one. You keep rocking, Hank.

Oh, and Penn State does not belong in the national title game at this point, and could be rightly beaten out by two one loss teams because voters think the Big Ten is crap and because Ohio State choked in two national title games in a row. This is unfair in some respects. It is also happening.

Scurrilous blog types confirmed. Unsourced, floaty, sketchy…and now all three, but in a major paper:

Based on the conversations I’m having with people around the conference, it appears it is simply a matter of time for Tennessee coach Phillip Fulmer. All indications are that the decision has been made and that the details are being worked out.

Well, if it’s out of College Football Solomon/Southern Division, then it’s fact now.

My football and politics colliding AGGIE HEAD ASPLODE. You wanna throw an egg at an Obama poster? You’ll have to go through Aggie lineman Paul Freeney.