COCKTAIL PARTY MEMORIES: SUBMIT THEM IF YOU DARE

That son of a bitch. How dare he use my patented ‘drunken-tit-bite’ move without my permission.

My favorite part of that video was the encouragment from the black guy in the blue jersey. Here’s a tip for my white friends: If black people are encouraging to dance in public, STOP IMMEDIATELY. We’re not laughing with you, we’re laughing AT you.

Reason #3,479 Gen. Stoopnagle is staying in Athens this weekend: potential damage to marriage caused by indiscretions caught on some jackass’s camera phone and posted to the You Tubes.

My thoughts exactly #2, my thoughts exactly

Harris: but what if they’re throwing money at you? Then it’s for-profit humiliation.

Sophomore year I got so wasted I ended up paying to hit the same tailgate twice. I had sobered up by the end of the game, but forgotten how to get back to my car, and led one brother and two pledges on a 30-block walk to a destination six blocks away.

my first cocktail party stands out due to the late 20s-ish female georgia fan who approached me only to tell me that she was conceived in the sanford stadium men’s room. she proceeded to extend an open invitation to me and my buddies to stay at her “bed and breakfast” in roswell.

There are two types of adults at football games: Those that wear jerseys and Those that don’t. This is certainly not the latter.

’Nuff Said.

As an (recent) alumni, got so drunk a couple years back that I fell asleep on a table in the upstairs/food court part of the Landing, was taken away by security, drunk and only semi-conscious and escorted to the all-concrete-underground-bunker-bathroom aka Landing Jail, where I then was questioned by police and security, suddenly “came to” in the middle of said interrogation and proceeded to freak out as I had no idea where I was, how I got there or what I was talking about.

Somehow my roommate at the time learned of my predicament and came to claim me. While walking her back to where I was being held the police officer told her “was out she’s a feisty one.” (note: that’s true)

Before releasing me to her, they made her promise to stay with me and not let me drink anymore (ha! fools!) she agreed, then we promptly went back outside to the Landing and drank our faces off for the remainder of the night.

Oh and another year (also as an alumni) I got super drunk and forgot if we had actually won the game. Turns out we had, but I was convinced everyone was messing with me so I’d act like a fool saying we had won but we hadn’t. Silly me, it was GEORGIA, of COURSE we won! (ummm, yeah not last year but whatever)

oops, second paragraph is *watch not was..

I had my bachelor party down there last year, the first time I’d ever been to TWGCP. My best man was able to get us 4 tickets at the 40 yard line front row behing UGA’s bench. I still get chills seeing their sideline pour out on the field and then witnessing the craziness on the sideline thereafter. I was in the stadium at Ohio State/Texas when Texas pulled off the late game comeback and Kyle Field when A&M beat #1 OU and nothing I’ve seen past, present future will equate to that moment last year.

I think I remember some kind of breakdancing competition in the endzone last year. During the game too. It was weird.

Ladies and Gentlemen,

The SEC.

That video was magical.

Do you think they knew each other before Jacksonville?

In 2002, my freshman year, the band director made the wise decision to just tell to band to find our own way back to the buses individually after the game. Of course 02 was the year Georgia was undefeated, so the fans were more pissed off than usual. I bought one of those score sheet things, which got me separated from everyone, and then two 20 year old blond UGA sorority chick types decided to shove the poor Gator Band kid and steal his score sheet, screaming “Pussy band geek!”

That was good and emasculating…

About 5 minutes later a very… hairy 250lb UGA fan put his arm around me and helpfully offered that “y’all look cute in them uniforms.”

I was a 145lb band kid lost in a sea of angry red people. Jesus, I thought I was going to die.

This one time…at band camp…

Here is a web show we made at the 2001 Cocktail Party on Friday night at the Landing for the old GainesvilleParty.com. Enjoy the pretty girls as they take serious shots on the Friday before the game.

Here you go: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SUE-dwvKZkM

#16, I remember you

There is nothing so painful as the douchebags and baguettes within one’s own fanbase.

I REALLY hope Richt isn’t planning all red unis. I think we’re the “home” team this year, so his comment in today’s AJC that we’re going to “wear red” might not be a sign of dementia.

There are thousands of reasons why he’s the coach and I’m not , but if he’s planning on coming out in all red, then my memory next year will probably be of this year’s beat down.

//sinking feeling//

Game-related: Watching Robert Edwards tap-dance down the sideline in ’97.

Evil-related (in blurbs to express hazy, alcoholic memory):

-Watching buddy “borrow” microphone from latin band in Landing Mexican joint and proceed to freestyle rap with instrumental accompaniment. Incited crowd frenzy.

-Having 30 minute, earnest and sentimental conversation with very conservative UGA sorority sister ex girlfriend… before she pointed out the traces of white powder on my nose, therefore invalidating the entire profound interaction.

-Flagging down taxi ON THE INTERSTATE.

-Something about drugs and fried chicken…?

OhioDawg we were in white last year. just look at any of the celebration pics…. we’ll be all red. Which frankly I don’t care about. The point is for the kids to be excited and have fun. Silver Britches aren’t +4 magical cloaks of invisibility.

Well, Orson, we’re all whores; it’s just a matter of negotiating price. I mean, I talked two friends into dressing up as the Power Puff Girls for Halloween (I was Buttercup) and that didn’t get me anything but a few minutes of sounding like a drunken idiot on HBO’s Real Sex (long story). So if scoring a few sheckles for arhythmmically shaking your ass to Young Jeezy is worth your dignity, who am I to judge?

Waiiiiit, Harris. We think we know exactly who you are.

Hmm, I get the feeling that when the ACC championship was in town for that game, it wasn’t exactly the same level of fun loving crowd. GT vs Wake…weeee! Curses. Sounds like a mini spring break down there, and I’m rather jealous.

@ Crane “Silver Britches aren’t +4 magical cloaks of invisibility.”

Yeah, but wouldn’t it be soooo cool if they were???

2005. spend 150 dollars on jaeger bombs at the landing after tailgating all day. black out at 7pm. 3 am come to puking spinach and other assorted vegetables into a sink 40 miles from the landing. what happened in the intervening eight hours will forever remain shrouded in mystery.

Friday Night I asked my buddy if he wanted to throw in for a pizza with me. He was not having it and claimed he wasn’t hungry. So I payed the outrageous $25 bucks for a large and enjoyed it in my drunken stupor as he whined about being hungry. I ignored him and made comments like, “oh my god it’s like sex in my mouth” and promptly offered a slice to anyone who walked through the door.. for free… out of spite.

Skip ahead a few minutes, there is an alarm clock heading for my face.. solid contact.

Skip ahead a few minutes, my fist meets his teeth. I cut open my knuckle on his incisor and catch some kind of bacteria only found in the human mouth.

Saturday I had a bear-claw sized hand which looked pretty humorous as I taunted the FLA faithful with the chomp and a cheer of their 5-3 record.

For some reason, flash on my laptop only works with youtube about 20% of the time… the rest of the time, it gets to 2 seconds in and freezes…

This is the first time I’ve ever been HAPPY about that fact.

A Gator buddy and I parked the car and a huge Dawg fan came over and offered us 200$ apiece for our tickets. We handed ‘em over and started walking toward the Landing to eat and drink alot on the 400$, but up came two UGA sorority girls carrying a drunk one between ’em and a fourth was carrying a cooler full of beer. They said "if you guys take this cooler of beer we’ll give you four tickets…uh, sorry, but the tickets are in the middle of a sorority block." We sold the extra two tickets to two more Gator guys, drank all the beer and sat in the middle of the block…they (Chi O’s I think) served us miniatures… “Would you like bourbon or rum? Your choice”, to go with our coke/sprite mixers. They were the height of southern hospitality and everyone had a great time. My buddy and I could not believe our luck…and we won the game, even with Doug Johnson as qb…oh, and one of the other Gator guys married one of the Dawgs in the block several months later.

Thursday night being all UGA and a hell of a good time

Friday is enthusiasm and trash talking mixed with plenty of booze and normally just the right amount of idiocy.

Saturday goes one of two ways:

Walking out of the stadium in 2001 and watching a gator fan charge a UGA student from behind and into metal barricades with a 10 yard run up, and then celebrating and high fiving his five friends while the mostly gator crowd cheered…

Sitting in a bar in the landing in 2002 watching the game and the entire section of Jock’s and Jill’s talking trash back and forth between tables and then UF fans saying tough loss and having fun together with both groups all night…

The WLOCP can be a ton of fun when both sides of fans remember it’s a game and not to be assholes (and yes I know we have our share of assholes at UGA and I have examples just not from the WLOCP)

Dear Florida,

No matter what happens tomorrow, we still beat you. Giggity Giggity

Signed,

Giggity

A bottle of Maker’s Mark at the fairground last year.

That’s all I got.

something sketchy happens every time we go, but if I have to pick one story…

I think it was 1998 but maybe I have the year wrong… UF won, DJ was QB, it poured like a MFer… I wasn’t planning on going to the game but a friend came up with an extra ticket the night before so I said what the hell. We left early from gville and caravanned with another van full of people to Jax. The guys we were following had some brilliant idea of tailgating way the F out to avoid paying parking, so we ended up in the slums, parked against a chain link fence… oh well, we had a good dozen people with us so it was no big deal. Someone brought a gatorade cooler, kool-aid and a bottle of grain to make punch but they mixed EVERY COLOR together and it turned into this brown swill mysteryhooch… still, I was a student living on $10 a day so I’m not turning down free drinks. Everyone got completely wasted off the stuff, ESPECIALLY the driver of the van, who was some guy in his early 30’s I had never met before. On our way to the game, this guy was stumbling all over the place, and we lost track of him but we figured we’d see him inside so we just went to the game.

Once inside, we were walking up the breezeway to the shitty seats we had, bitching the whole way about not having anything to drink, when we saw it: a full bottle of seagrams 7 sitting in teh corner of the breezeway, abandoned. We grabbed it quick, one of us went to the bathroom while the other got large mixers and we killed the bottle in 2 drinks.

Not long after the start of the game the skies completely opened up and people started retreating, so we figured we’d go try to get some seats down by the field in the UGA section, which was emptying out. The UGA fans didn’t take to us sitting there however, and it only took like 5 minutes for a yelling fight to start.. typical stuff, scoreboard, yada yada… well at halftime a bunch of the curr followed us out and pushed me in the back, ripping a gold chain off my neck and the crowd formed a ring mortal kombat style as if we were going to just start brawling. There was no way 2 of us were going to be able to fight these 5 guys… luckily an old UGA fan grabbed us and shoved us out of the circle, telling us to haul ass out of there. On the way back to our seats we bumped into LL Cool J… just another random element to add to an already wierd day.

By the 3rd quarter, UF was whipping the shit out of UGA. The people in our original section had cleared out, some from the rain but others because there was this disgustingly fat UGA fan who was projectile vomiting all over the place. The rest of the game was misreable weather but we didn’t care… a UF win over UGA fixes all.

After the game we headed back for our shitty tailgate spot, but not everybody made it back; The guy who drove the van full of 8 people was not back yet, and no one could reach him by phone. After an hour of waiting, the 4 of us who went in a seperate car said f it, we’re leaving and left the rest of the crew to deal with finding the guy. They didn’t make it back till early the next morning…. turns out that the guy who drove had lost his ticket in a drunken stupor on the way to the game, then got lost from everyone else. Some random fans offered to take him to a party they were going to miles away, where he promptly passed out and didn’t wake up till the people who owned the house threw his ass out at 4 AM. Disoriented, with no idea where he was, he borrowed a phone (his was dead) and called his wife, who was frantic and calling the cops looking for him. LOL…. soooooo glad we didn’t go in that car…

Haha — you wear a gold chain. Fuckin Gator fans.