If you are planning to travel to the World’s Largest Outdoor Coke Orgy, here are a few important tips for the intrepid traveler looking to get to Jacksonville and maximize their fan experience.

How to Get There: You may fly into Jacksonville International Airport, a lovely airport by any standards. For the seasoned traveler, this should give you great pause on the way in, since there is an inverse relationship between the likeability of an city’s airport and the city itself (New York/Any surrounding airport, Paris/CDG, LA/LAX, or London/Heathrow.)

You may also drive, as I-95 and I-10 both run through the River City, but don’t feel limited by roads. To experience Jacksonville properly, drive wherever you like and at any speed. For all intents and purposes, the entire county and city (one and the same by zoning) constitute one uniform space for public traffic. Any and all buildings are considered part of the roadway, and therefore must yield to oncoming traffic.

Feel free to meet the denizens of Duval county the up close and personal way: by driving into their living rooms. You’ll be simultaneously improving the landscape and architecture of the city and making new friends all at the same time just like the locals do.

This is perfectly legal, and will stand up in any court in the land!*

This message brought to you by EDSBS, who doesn’t understand what or why Jacksonville is, and never has.

*Not vetted by any lawyer or legal authority.