A UGA tailgate. The sounds of "Straight to Hell" by Drivin' and Cryin' waft over sea of red tailgate canopies.
Georgia fan: Where'd I put my "You don't need nObama if you got Knowshon" sticker?
Crazy Old Testament God: HELLO GEORGIA FAN. PUT DOWN YOUR DRINK AND QUAKE IN MY AWESOME PRESENCE. I HAVE A TEST FOR YOU.
GF: Damn! Are you the scary guy from the Oak Ridge Boys?
COTG: NO. I AM CRAZY OLD TESTAMENT GOD, AND THE SCHEDULE'S CHANGED. I WORK ON WEDNESDAY NOW, AND THAT IS TOO BAD FOR YOU. I WILL SEND YOU TRAVELING THROUGH TIME TO SEE YOUR INNER SOUL REFLECTED IN THE EVENTS WHICH BROUGHT HUMANITY TO THIS POINT. YOU WILL DISAPPOINT ME, BUT I WILL DO THIS ANYWAY.
GF: Like that show, Centrum Leap? I HATED that show. It came on the same time as Hunter!
COTG: THAT WAS NO SHOW. SCOTT BAKULA IS CURRENTLY IN THE FIFTEEN CENTURY FIGHTING SPANISH CONQUISTADORS. HE HAS SMALLPOX, AND WILL DIE SHORTLY. HIS PAIN IS UNENDING.
GF: Whatever, man. When's Hunter comin' back on! That DeeDee was somethin'!
COTG: STEPFANIE KRAMER MAY BE SEEN IN 2006'S CUTTING EDGE 2: GOING FOR THE GOLD. YOUR JOURNEY BEGINS NOW.
GF: Big Bang? That ain't nothin' compared to Samford Stadium on Saturday WOOOO DOGS SIC 'EM!!!
GF: KICKAAAASSS!! I'm at least four thousand years in the past!
GF: Whutcha mean you ain't got Mu Shu Pork? What don't you understand about "NUMBER EIGHT, EXTRA EGGROLL?" You don't wanna RILE ME, WANG FOO!
GF: Awesome! My pastor's gonna flip when I give him James Caviezel's autograph. I'll hide the beer in the picture, though.
GF: Lawdy, we did the same damn thing to LSU last week. Sic 'em, Aztec! WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF. And again: MEL GIBSON IS FULL OF SHIT, pardon mah language.
GF: You Yankees are crazy--for livin' where it's so cold. Man, I'm gonna stand over here by this fire. Something smells awesome, though.
GF: Always root for the team in red! SIC 'EM WOOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF!!!
GF: Topless and speakin' French? Why you all following the LSU fan? She's just lookin' for a corn dog BECAUSE LSU FANS LIKE CORNDOGS ARP ARP ARP ARP!
GF: I'm in a car with Erk Russell and Hitler! THE Erk Russell! He makes them trains run ON TIME!
GF: I ain't impressed. You ask Willie Martinez how to blow up Hawaii proper-like next time, Chinamen!
GF: I don't even know what this is. It must be gay, though.
GF: TECH NERDZ! AHM IN UR MOVIE, KILLIN' UR CAPTAIN KIRK!!! NERDS! ARP ARP ARP ARP ARP ARP---
GF: Hey, Crazy God. How'd I do, man?
COTG: (SIGH.) BETTER THAN THOSE KISSASSES TEBOW AND RICHT, ACTUALLY. YOUR STUPIDITY WAS REFRESHING. CARRY ON.
GF: Do what?
COTG: GIT WOO SIC EM WHATEVER YOU CRETINOUS WRETCH.
GF: You heard that? HE'S A DAWG FAN! SUCK ON THAT, GAYTURDS JORTS ARP ARP ARP ARP!!!