THE TENNESSEE DEFENESTRATION

Booooooooooooo.

The fun was only beginning.

Tyrone is available. Ty for Tennessee- has a nice ring to it. Of course you would have to settle for ties – at best. Oh wait- it’s the other “futball” that Ty “coaches”, isn’t it.

Putin can beat Georgia.

Be careful with those transition years as it appears from my beloved Wolverine’s recent experience that change and lack of talent can lead to some ugly results.

In a surprise move they lure Mangino away from KU?

They should be able to get pretty much whomever they want.

What kind of world is it where we pay men large sums for failing so unremarkably? Same one where we pay a bore like Phil Fulmer for speaking engagements.

Just poke me with a stick for however long he speaks. I’d prefer that.

Clemson is not interested in Lane Kiffin.

Donut jokes will never be obsolete in Tennessee. Ever.

Wouldn’t Dennis Erickson be a great replacement? He could maintain the disciplinary standards currently in place. I bet that ASU would let him go without a buyout too. He knows how to recruit nationally and poach the occasional JC. What could possibly go wrong?

Mother Fuck. Now I want a fucking Krispy-Kreme doughnut. Fucking fuck fuck fucker fucking fucks fuck.

I’d be happy to live out my days getting speaking fees and fishing. Screw work, sign me up!

@ #5 – The promise of Golden Corrals that are open 24 hours a day can lure Mangino anywhere.

@ #3 – Devilishly clever. +1 to you!

Hate to see him go. He would NEVER beat Saban.

While “Boom, MotherF*cker, Yeah!” is a solid defensive coordinator, I would cringe at the thought of him being my head coach.

Does Tennessee not have a native born son that wants to come and represent the University and the great state of Tennessee?

Call me old school, but I think it is better for college football when you have guys who embody the school and the state they represent – not just some hired gun.

Examples:

Pete Carroll – USC
JoePa – Penn State
Jim Tressell – Ohio State
Mack Brown – Texas
Beamer – VT
Rich Rod – when he was at West Virginia
Huston Nutt – when he was at Arkansas
Bo – Michigan
Woody – Ohio State
Bear Bryant – Alabama
Gene Stallings – Alabama

Guys that just don’t fit (successful or not):

Saban – Bama (he’s getting it done, but other than being an ass he doesn’t fit the roll…no southern accent)
Miles – LSU (he’s a michigan man)
Weis – ND (just not a fit)
Rich Rod – Michigan (ditto)
Spurrier – Cocks (could there be a worse fit)
Petrino – Arkansas
John Cooper – Ohio State (knew how to recruit talent but never really understood the rivalry game with Michigan)

1. Too easy access to “Shine” would be the only problem for D E. Or would that (still) be a problem!

I forgot to add Tuberville to the list of coaches who embody their school and the state in which they reside…sorry Bama fans, but Tubby does fit the mold…lol.

I would hope that the Fullmer Cup Trophy retains it’s name, even after his dismissal at UT.

If the name has to change, Saban Cup might have a nice ring to it.

TAFK @ 14—
Weis – ND (just not a fit)

In all fairness, there aren’t many places in which he does fit. Y’know, standard 2.5’’ wide doorways and all.

/fat joke

TAFKastOSUB: Saban’s from W.V. Appalachian counts.

I have to tell you that my heart goes out for him. He’s obviously easy cannon fodder for those who post on blogs like this one (especially this one??) but I do think he’s a good guy (let the shreiking reactions from the bammers begin). He truly bleeds orange and I really think that he always kept the best interests of his university at heart. However, I have also gone from a staunch supporter, to being fickle on the subject depending on the Saturday, to just relenting to the fact that he’s not competing at the level that the Vol nation demands anymore. I hope he goes easier than your description, Orson. A front-office PR job would be great for him, but I’m afraid he has too much pride for that. Best of luck, Phil, and thanks for a lot of fantastic Saturdays.

Why not resign, get a job at Pitt, then return to Tennessee to succeed the coach that succeeded him? That is a plan than has been worked before.

Gen. Stoopnagle (God this third-person stuff is taxing – how does Coach Meyer do it?) thought that a plan to Moscow meant UT was getting Robb Akey.

That’s Lemuel’s mistake, then. Carry on.

Maybe…just maybe…they’ll land a whale (Mangino, i’m looking at you) with a suitcase full of cash (or pizzas – whatever) and thus rescue the KKR jokes. The rest of the SEC can only hope.

Now I can’t promise AU will return the favor by going after someone with ears in Tuby’s zipcode. (I don’t think Prince Charles has any coaching experience.) Hopefully Joe Biden will still be looking for work after November. At least he can fill in for Tuberville’s “speak first, think later” habit.

Jimbo sure has a lot of options opening up suddenly.

#14
Who would be a good fit at Miami? Luther Campell?

actually those would be KKD jokes not KKR ones.

carry on

Phillip was a prodigious eater, and a good man. He was one of us. He was a man who loved the outdoors… and football, and as a voracious consumer of foods he explored the Golden Corrals of Tennessee, from Jackson to Franklin and… up to… Tri-Cities.

Still is a good man, Ice…

If Fred Thompson were to ever be elected President, Fulmer could have a job as his body double…

Had he stayed, Jimmy Johnson would have been a legendary icon at Miami, of the Bowden and JoePa variety. Complete with strong standings in the Fulmer Cup…which by the way is becoming a new factor in my preseason poll algorithm…it goes something like this:

public void PreseasonRaking()
{
int intRanking;
int intNumberYearInCoachingTenure;
int intFulmerCupRanking;
bool IsSchoolATraditionalPowerHouse;
bool IsCoachABigNameCoach;
bool IsRecruitingClassInTopTen;
bool IsTeamInSEC;
bool IsTeamInBig10;
bool IsTeamOhioState;

if (intNumberYearInCoachingTenure < 3)
{
if (IsSchoolATraditionalPowerHouse = true)
{
if (IsCoachABigNameCoach = true)
{
if (IsRecruitingClassInTopTen = true)
{
intRanking = intFulmerCupRanking * .97;
if (IsTeamInSEC = true)
{
intRanking = intRanking + 1.5;
}
if (IsTeamInBig10 = true)
{
intRanking = intRanking + 1.3;
if (IsTeamOhioState = true)
{
intRanking.ToString = “Will Lose to SEC Team and Fulmer Cup top 5 Team.”;
}
}
}
else
{
MessageBox.Show(“Recruit Better!”);
}
}
else
{
MessageBox.Show(“Fire the Coach and Get a Better One!”);
}
}
else
{
MessageBox.Show(“Thanks for playing, but your school is not a traditional powerhouse”);
}
}
else
{
MessageBox.Show(“Your coach has been there too long – fire him!”);
}
}
}

Daniel von Bargen is Phil Fulmer, right? Is that Kruger?

http://www.siyumhaseinfeld.com/images/chars/kruger2.jpg

Donut jokes obsolete?! Have you seen the average BMI for a crowd at Neyland?!

His last day in office, Fulmer will calmly lock the door, and retire to his desk chair. Slowly, he pulls an M1 Garand out of an equipment bag, and places it in his mouth. A look of relief is on his face as he squeezes the trigger. Hemoglobin and brain matter spray accross the wall behind him the in shape of a power T. The world finds out if he truly does bleed orange.

I still want to know how you can fire a guy who just gave the school $1M?

Bill Cowher.

TAFKastOSUB @14:

I agree with most of your “fits” and “don’t fits,” except these:

Nutt – Arkansas: You say he was a fit there…not so sure about that. He’s a “nut” and Arkansas really needs a stable hard-ass to keep it in the upper tiers of the SEC. Sure, he went to a couple SEC champ. games, but nobody respected Ark. while he was there – not saying anyone should or shouldn’t have – but nobody did. He’s better at Ole Miss. I agree that Petrino does NOT fit Ark. either, however.

Weis – Notre Dame: You say he’s not a fit at ND. Maybe I’m out on a limb here because Notre Dame football is not my area, but he seems to be a perfect fit there. Even though he didn’t play football (and probably didn’t participate in anything athletic while there), he’s the rotund campus newspaper sports reporter who made it back. That one could be a stretch, but…

Saban – Alabama: You say he’s not a fit there. I disagree. He’s got tunnel vision when it comes to his job – recruiting, preparation, etc. He’s not so friendly when it comes to the media, but he’s got very small group of reporters, media-types he trusts and speaks with in private. He seems to have complete power as far as making administrative decisions with the football program. Also, he’s “mysterious” and knows he can obtain legendary status at Alabama (hell, he may have done that before he even arrived on campus…but knows he’s got to provide results on the field to keep it, which his predecessors – after Stallings – could not do). And this is purely speculative (and of course arguable – it’s my opinion so don’t have a cow), but Alabama is the #1 coaching job for him and has been for a long time. Of course the $$$ is the ultimate factor that got him there, but that’s just because he made great on the situation that arose for him.

Interesting post though…made me think about who would be a good fit anywhere in the climate of college football today.

Was the Weis=Bad fit at ND bait?

While it remains to be seen whether he will succeed, I’m pretty sure a guy who graduated from there during a time of ND championships “gets it” and he clearly loves the school.

Regarding Weis at ND…my thinking was that when I think about ND the first thing that comes to mind is Lou Holtz. Granted, Weis is a better fit than Ty, but there is just something about Weis that does fit to me…maybe it was the special ESPN did on him where every other word out of his mouth was a cuss word and how he didn’t care about it…that always struck me as kind of odd….A. That ND stood for it…B. That we would be so cavalier about it.

re: BMI at Neyland

Remind me which SEC school has the skinny fans? Also, the Vols keep their BMI’s in the low 30’s through heavy smoking. Neyland is smoke-free now, so everyone has to dip including our grannies, not as much as Kentucky though.

Apparently the Vols have plenty of money though, because even with the buyout, money is not a problem. I agree with the other posters though, I don’t want a “whore.” not naming names, but some people here have felt compelled to make excuses

Let’s just cut to the chase and make Peyton Manning head coach/OC and Al Wilson DC.

@ 27@

And so, Phillip Who Loved Eating… we commit your mortal remains… to the… bosom of the smokey mountains….

As Chili pointed out, Clemson has no interest in Lane Kiffin.

Muschamp will be their next coach.

@30

the tab key is above caps lock…

Can’t we just describe Sexton as “SEC Agent Jimmy Sexton”? Or leave his name off all together? It seems that employing his services is a requirement to be hired in the SEC.

TAFKatOSUB @ 38:

I gotcha…I see where you’re coming from. Weis doesn’t really fit anywhere…

…get it? He’s a big person.