RETALIATION: REQUEST FOR PROPOSALS
So there’s that, which preceded Georgia decimating Florida in the Cocktail Party last year. A gag order has been issued to his team by Urban Meyer, presumably to avoid bulletin board material and keep the team focused, but he did talk about the dance by not talking about it, which is talking about it but DAMN YOU AND YOUR LOGIC:
“I think it’s old news … and it has no bearing on this year’s game,” Meyer said Sunday. “It’s two teams battling for the SEC East.”
Meaning a spectacular choreographed retribution is planned for Saturday. Our proposals for how Florida will attempt to one-up Georgia in the excessive celebration department follow, listed from least likely to most likely and by mode of celebration:
Tex Avery: A horde of walk-ons and mascots hoisting anvils, safes, and grand pianos on pulleys above the endzone waits for Georgia’s first score.
Busby Berkley: The endzone rolls back, a pool emerges, and a wedding cake rises from the pool lined with leggy dames! The rest goes just like this, but with Tim Tebow playing the part of Miss Piggy:
Batman-style: Jeff Demps scores, throws a smoke bomb down on the ground, and disappears in a fog, only to reappear suspended in a glass box over the student section, peacefully napping upside down.
Palin-style: Tim Tebow scores, turns to camera, winks and makes cutesy little “pyew! pyew!” gun shots at the camera.
Strauss-style: Counters UGA’s 2007 sponsorship of “Soulja Boy” with tasteful group minuet.
Hot Rod-Style Fifty huge dudes in orange and blue do this on the sidelines–not on the field, mind you–when Florida scores.
SAW-style. At first score, Dave Matthews is dropped screaming from lights, thus breaking the collective will of the UGA fanbase. Or should we say he CRASHES INTO THE GROUND BWAHAHAHAHAHAA
Leave your own suggestions for further Florida or Georgia dance-off routines or celebrations below.









51
Crabapple Buck says:
This ain’t the Sharks and the Jets*. This is the Gators and Dawgs.
Florida brings live alligator. After score, they snatch Uga off his ice bag and throw him to said gator who eats him in one bite. Urb faces animal cruelty charges after the game. Urb’s defense is he was keeping an alligator from starvation. Urb is let off by Florida judge, but loses Man’s Best Friend sponsorship on coaches show.
*Old guy remembers West Side Story.
October 27th, 2008 at 3:28 pm
52
Mr.Pelican Pants says:
This is what I meant in #46
from Top Secret, about the 3 min mark…..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92R20ImGNCU
October 27th, 2008 at 3:28 pm
53
OhioDawg says:
You know the Gator players are having the same kind of conversations (over bags of weed), no matter what the head cyborg says.
And what that means is that The Gator Stomp is still under their skin!
October 27th, 2008 at 3:32 pm
54
TJ says:
@38
When the marching band goes to a neutral or away stadium, they usually just march the show they did at the latest home game, since there’s no reason to learn a new show for a largely new audience.
Yes that would mean the 80’s Show again, with Thriller dance, which was last performed at the 04 UGA game. While it’s about 50% different this time around, that won’t stop me from cursing the band director, Watkins, for not learning from the past. Dammit.
Fuck You Version: In leiu of any celebrations just go for two points after every TD and first downs on every 4th. With this offense I’m not sure that would actually be a bad idea, and, you know, fuck Georgia.
October 27th, 2008 at 3:35 pm
55
TJ says:
@54
You mean “to hell, to hell, to hell with Georgia.”
October 27th, 2008 at 3:44 pm
56
ChasingMizzou says:
Percy Harvey can offer the Dawgs a golden fiddle . . .
October 27th, 2008 at 3:57 pm
57
Ward says:
It’s not revenge Urban is after; it’s a reckoning. He is going take one out of the Ravens/ Buddy Ryan playbook and put bounties on Matt “daywalker” Stafford and Knowshon “spongebob” Moreno’s scalps.
To avoid NCAA violations he will offer only Halloween candy and a guaranteed first round pick by the jaguars instead of cash prizes.
(see also: Reggie Nelson and Derrick Harvey)
October 27th, 2008 at 4:04 pm
58
yoyofutbawl says:
47
Buddy Hackett is not amused with Peter Griffin.
October 27th, 2008 at 4:20 pm
59
Jason says:
Sonofsamford: You made me choke on a candy-corn.
Rambo 2007-style: Tebow stands on the back of a truck and mans a 50-caliber machine for 30 minutes or so, grunting and killing indiscriminately .
October 27th, 2008 at 4:21 pm
60
DC Trojan says:
Perhaps a synchronized moped squad to complete a short routine in the end zone whenever they score, and take a leaf out of the Inter Ultras’ book and heave a Vespa at the Georgia sidelines.
Either that, or loop Christopher Hitchens non-stop outside the Dawgs’ changing room. (Couldn’t get the real thing due to absence of nicotine and alcohol.)
October 27th, 2008 at 4:30 pm
61
the croominator says:
“Best Little Whorehouse-style”: Replace “Aggies” with “Gators” and have Tebow do the “one more mile until we get to Heeeaaaven” solos.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=84TWhY1aPro
October 27th, 2008 at 4:31 pm
62
Gator in A2 says:
Rick Roll Style: Tebow rushes 5 yards for a touchdown, takes off his helmet to reveal that he is actually Rick Astley. He then dawns a denim jacket and leads the team in singing “Never gonna give you up.”
October 27th, 2008 at 5:52 pm
63
Tater Salad says:
I think the students should get Knowshown’s cell phone number and talk shit all week.
October 27th, 2008 at 6:01 pm
64
Al-D says:
Considering LSU got whatever they wanted vs UGA minus the two picks to the house (difference in the game, both terrible Frosh mistakes) and any SEC fan knows LSU offense mediocre at best, im pretty sure Urb does nothing…. until the 4th when he leaves Tim in to throw two td passes when the score is already 49-21. You heard it here first guys, UF drop 50+ easy and is throwing late into the 4th.
October 27th, 2008 at 6:26 pm
65
EZ says:
Grandma’s Boy-Style: After Tebow scores a TD, he runs to the UGA bench, shoots imaginary lasers at the players using his middle fingers and, using his JP robot voice, yells, “Adios, turd nuggets!”
October 27th, 2008 at 6:28 pm
66
Bradley says:
“Once In A Lifetime”
Urban walks out to midfield.
Referee Thomas Ritter hands him the field mike.
Both of them launch into a fully choreographed rendition of the Talking Heads’ “Once In A Lifetime”
…with Steve Spurrier on the video board overdubbing “Same As It Ever Was”.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EYbUCvz1LYE
October 27th, 2008 at 11:57 pm
67
Bradley says:
Maybe I was wrong.
http://www.gatorswearjeanshorts.net/blog/2008/10/urban-had-dream-last-night.html
October 28th, 2008 at 12:20 am
68
InsaneCoachPosse says:
oh this could go on until game time…
Blazing Saddles style: team runs onto field, points asses at UGA and with the aid of a few thousand fans proceeds to give the faux fart salute
Chinese style: ten thousand midgets/children/dwarfs in Gator uniforms run out of locker rooms and swarm around the field, jabbing UGA players with chopsticks
South Florida style: guns pulled from uniforms, they empty clips into the air
Cowboy style: Nearby UGA fans are herded onto field and pushed to their hands and knees then riden
and my favorite
Hollywood style: 100 prostitutes in UGA jerseys run onto the field and proceed to simulate felatio on UF players
October 28th, 2008 at 7:59 am
69
UgaMatt says:
Mid 90’s Florida fashion: they start a brawl at the 50 before tick off. Thimmy Thebow in his best Doug Johnson asshole impersonation throws the ball at Mark Richt. Stay classy Gators, we know your team would never do anything to disrespect an opponent.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RO4PIGF8JZk
October 28th, 2008 at 8:15 am
70
Brando says:
I can see it all so clearly…
After UF’s first TD Brandon James pulls out a 3′ alligator-shaped bong for his personal pleasure.
Ron Wilson fires celebratory rounds high into the cool November sky.
And admist all the commotion, Dr. Tebow remains unphased, servicing an endless line of Vietnamese boys extending out the back of the endzone.
October 28th, 2008 at 8:52 am
71
zzgator says:
Some here have no sense of humor…or whimsy.
Very ham-fisted contributions.
October 28th, 2008 at 9:18 am
72
cookinandsmilin says:
Smokey and the Bandit Style:
Looks like one Big Rig (Tebow) coming off the bench, but then suddenly turns into three (harvin/demps come out to each side from behind) then five…, soon the whole team (from single file) shoulder to shoulder running off the bench at UGA…
October 28th, 2008 at 1:48 pm
73
Chawne says:
There seems to be an absence of a certain ornithological theme in these suggestions…you know, something concerning mass awareness of a certain avian variety. Oh you haven’t heard? It was my understanding that everyone had heard.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PHmU_RnfMw8
October 28th, 2008 at 2:01 pm
74
Larry Langolier says:
The lack of any reference to “What’s Opera, Doc” leaves me seriously disappointed.
October 28th, 2008 at 4:33 pm
75
bobafet7 says:
I don’t know what’s gunna do but someone is getting swerved
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ntVtlYcQNbs&feature=related
http://www.southparkstudios.com/clips/154492/?searchterm=served
October 30th, 2008 at 6:52 am